Wedding Speech - tips and guidance

March 9, 2005 6:31 AM

Getting married at the end of April, and thoughts turn to the speech. Bought all of the usual speech books and etiquette guides, so have gathered who I need to thank and the like. What I'm looking for is that touch that will get the whole room going, be it a quote, a bit of poetry or something else. Not looking for jokes / one-liners in particular as think they come off corny. Help appreciated
posted by lloyder to Society & Culture (8 answers total)

Not a helpful response: I didn't make a speech at my wedding. Was I supposed to? I was under the impression that it's the best man who makes a speech (as was everyone else).
posted by Plutor at 6:48 AM on March 9, 2005

Plutor, if tradtion matters to you then yes, you were supposed to -- including a toast to the bridesmaids.
posted by nthdegx at 7:09 AM on March 9, 2005

lloyder -- what do you mean by "get the whole room going"? Buzzing with excitement? Murmuring? Exchanging glances? Laughing? What sort of mood are you after?
posted by nthdegx at 7:12 AM on March 9, 2005

Sincere feeling. You'll probably be feeling a lot; just be brave enough to show it and choose words that will let you do so. At the same time, don't force it, just let yourself be and speak simply and from your heart.

When you're thinking about thanking people, think about what you're really thankful for.

If by "get the room going" you mean lots of laughter, you'll want to start with sincere emotion, then bring in something funny to release the tension, then you can choose whether to end with something touching or light. Maybe a good idea anyway.
posted by amtho at 7:21 AM on March 9, 2005

This is perhaps not what you're looking for, but funny things are funnier if there's tension to break (but not too much); timing is everything.
posted by amtho at 7:23 AM on March 9, 2005

I second amtho. Pretty much every groom's speech I've heard follows the same rough structure. You're supposed to thank everyone that moves and give them presents. You're supposed to say how pretty the bridesmaids look. You're supposed to say how beautiful your new wife looks.

Because there's loads of stuff you're "expected" to say, the best thing you can do is say it with sincerity and feeling.

I've no specific pointers for you Oh, except don't be looking directly at your notes and intoning woodenly when you say the "my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world" line.
posted by grahamspankee at 8:03 AM on March 9, 2005

If you really want to get the room going, reading a good poem is a good way to go. You should only do this if you are very good at reading poems aloud (most people aren't), however, because otherwise you will only succeed in making people want you to stop.

If you're going to go that route, I suggest reading a poem to your bride. Ogden Nash's poem "Reprise" is an excellent choice, I think. It's sappy, but so what? You're allowed to be sappy at your wedding.

That being said, you might just want to keep your remarks to thanking people, and let your best man and groomsmen say more interesting things. That's usually the way it happens, in my experience (as groom and best man).
posted by cerebus19 at 8:33 AM on March 9, 2005

Another vote for sincerity. At my own wedding, my wife and I didn't address the room until three hours into the reception, and then it was just to say thanks for coming, we're having a blast, hope you are too. (Then we toasted my mother, whose birthday rolled in at midnight, but that won't help you.) Let the ceremony, food, music, and overall atmosphere set the tone; you should simply add a graceful stamp to it.
posted by werty at 11:46 AM on March 9, 2005