how do I get rid of these calluses?
June 9, 2010 7:36 AM   Subscribe

How can I get rid of these calluses on my right hand? I've tried a emery file, I've tried wearing a glove, tried loosening my grip, and, ahem, gripping less often, but I still have embarassing calluses on my right hand.

I'm a guy. As far as I know, I'm not using a death grip, and I'm not even gripping that often. Can anyone help? It's very embarassing.

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posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (15 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

The way you are talking about this, it seems to be you are assuming it's coming from masturbation. Are you right dominant? Isn't it possible it's coming just from doing more things with your right hand in general? I'm right handed and I definitely have more callus build up on my right hand as a result. (I'm a girl, so jerking it has nothing to do with it.)
posted by piratebowling at 7:41 AM on June 9, 2010

Calluses can be softened with a mix of water and Epsom salts, then rubbed down (haha, 'rubbed down') with a pumice stone. Alternately, you can apply oil (olive, emu, jojoba, wheat germ and sesame are popular choices) to soften the calluses. Or, if you'd prefer, there are a wide variety of commercial callus remedies, most of them available in the foot-care section at the drugstore.
posted by box at 7:44 AM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

I get calluses from gym equipment. An emery board isnt going to cut it. Get a pumice stone and rub, hard (the calluses!).
posted by Ness at 7:46 AM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is your dick made of stone or something? If masturbating gives you calluses on your hand, that should be the least of your problems.

Don't sweat it--NO ONE in the entire world is going to look at your callused hand and think, "Zounds! Anon has been whacking off with a fury!" Callused hands are nothing to be embarrassed about.

Seriously, your dick is not callusing your hand.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 7:51 AM on June 9, 2010 [6 favorites]

Cuticle remover, for much longer than the recommended time. That and a gentle pumice stone rub gets calluses right off for me.
posted by emyd at 7:52 AM on June 9, 2010

This has nothing to do with masturbation. Correlation does not prove causation.
posted by dfriedman at 8:15 AM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Yeah, just to echo some others here, I would never, EVER think that someone's calluses had something to do with masturbation. I can't even imagine how that would be possible.
posted by nosila at 8:23 AM on June 9, 2010

A callus is the bodies' defense against skin actually wearing off. Heavy weights, rock climbing, various forms of manual labor and possibly attempting to jerk-off the statue of David might cause the body to try to make a callus. Repeated use of the emery stick is just telling your hands that those calluses are really important! As everyone else has said, there is no way that I would think that a person's calluses came from simple masturbation.
posted by TeatimeGrommit at 8:36 AM on June 9, 2010

It's probably all that wood splitting you do for the nice old lady next door ;)
posted by klanawa at 9:45 AM on June 9, 2010

It's very embarassing.

No it isn't. It doesn't come from what you think it does, and no one else would think that it comes from that.

I have calluses from driving. Before that, my old job caused them. Long before that, baseball did it.
posted by spaltavian at 11:06 AM on June 9, 2010

I've been known to go at a callus or two with a razor blade, but that's an admittedly extreme solution that wouldn't be appropriate for your hands.

If this is indeed somehow from masturbation, then you're either doing it very wrong or very right. No middle ground, there.
posted by truex at 11:33 AM on June 9, 2010

Two things:

1) There is no way on God's green earth that masturbation is causing calluses. None. As in zero. Calluses develop when your skin is rubbed away by something harder than skin. Unless your dick is made of, I dunno, adamantine or something.

2) Every man and almost every woman masturbates. Those who say they don't are, generally, lying. While it's not something one should do in most social settings, it's hardly something to be embarrassed about.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 5:02 PM on June 9, 2010

Soak your callused hand in warm water until the calluses are soft. Then clip them away with a nail clipper or sand them off with a file or pumice. The more developed your calluses become, the greater the risk that you'll tear them off when lifting (and I will assume that we're talking about gripping gym weights here). A little callus is fine as a protector of the skin, but too big and they can just shear off and leave you with a very raw patch of skin (think of a blister that's been peeled off, except bloody).
posted by holterbarbour at 5:03 PM on June 9, 2010

I would never see your callouses and think it must be from masturbating. Tons of people have callouses on their hands, don't sweat it. My husband has guitar callouses and rock-climbing callouses, and I had an artist friend (female) who had some art callouses from holding various drawing implements.
posted by Nattie at 9:56 AM on June 10, 2010

I love my callused guitar-picking hands! I love men with calluses! It means they know how to do something with their hands, generally.

As for advice, I also recommend pumice. Make sure that both the calluses and the stone are wet. It doesn't really work if they are dry.
posted by frecklefaerie at 12:19 PM on June 10, 2010

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