Why are my orgasms so weak?
November 11, 2009 7:41 AM Subscribe
Are my orgasms always going to be this weak? Teach me to do it better!
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (24 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
A while back I bought a Hitachi Magic Wand. Previously I couldn't orgasm despite being sexually active and trying by my own hand. I had read that the Magic Wand will definitely solve such problems, and it seems to… except my orgasms are fantastically weak. I’m pretty sure I’m orgasming; my clit gets super-sensitive after , I seem to have involuntary contractions, and I get way wetter.
But.. that’s it. I don’t feel at all euphoric (my mood stays completely the same); I guess I feel mildly sexually satisfied but not really. I guess if I had to describe it I would say it’s just a slightly heightened feeling of sexual arousal or whatever, and this feeling only lasts for about half a second. It’s nice, but it’s not much different from the previous few minutes. Really I would say that happens mostly before the contractions start, then I have to get the vibrator away from me because I get so sensitive. So while the contractions are happening, well, it just feels like contractions really…
Something I should probably mention is that before I start masturbating I’m usually not feeling particularly aroused or desirous or anything, and while I masturbate my thoughts aren’t completely sexual. I guess they are a little sexual, but what I mean is I’m not completely mentally turned on. Like thinking of me masturbating is at least mildly hot so that’s why I don’t think of anything else I guess.
But the point is, I definitely don’t feel the most aroused I’ve ever been in my life when I masturbate like this. I rarely get time where I can use the vibrator without other people around, so I just have to capitalize on whatever time I have, even if I’m not feeling too sexy. I’m just curious about my orgasms. This is a new thing for me and I want to see what my body can do. It’s not really about sexy sex fun times when I masturbate. Would being more mentally aroused make my orgasms better? Or am I just doomed to have boring orgasms forever? The stimulation IS physically arousing at least. And feels pretty damn good for the like minute it lasts. I've tried prolonging the time it takes by teasing myself but that also doesn't make my orgasms better. Usually by then I've started analyzing the situation and that is just not sexy, and makes the experience even less sexy. But I still orgasm, and aren't orgasms supposed to be inherently pleasurable, even when purely manual and not very mental?
Another thing I would like to add is that I have trouble getting super aroused without a partner, which is probably why I don’t feel mentally aroused. Plain vanilla sex to mildly kinky is quite arousing with a partner, but erotica or porn with these themes is pretty ineffective. The only thing that really turns me on without a partner is written erotica featuring a lot of submissive behavior. For some reason I have trouble finding such material that is of a quality I desire, but really I just figured this out about myself recently so I haven’t been looking for too long or too hard. (Is this normal? It seems like if vanilla sex turns me on in real life, I should be able to read about it and feel aroused from it.)
Right now using my vibrator + a partner is not an option.
If you haven’t guessed, I’m young and female, in my early twenties.
So my questions are: will my orgasms get better as I learn more about myself sexually, such as what turns me on and how I like to be touched, or should I just give up on my quest to feel the same type of orgasm everyone else seems to feel and accept this is how it’s going to be? Is my Magic Wand perhaps too powerful, would a gentler or no vibrator give me better orgasms?
Thank you for any advice. I really just want to orgasm in a way that feels good, like everyone else seems to report. Throw away email is firstname.lastname@example.org