My autistic daughter won't poop intentionally.
May 8, 2010 1:53 PM Subscribe
My 6-year-old mildly autistic daughter won't poop while she's awake.
My daughter is mildly autistic. At 6, she's talking at about a 3-year-old stage of language, and making slow but steady progress. She's incredibly happy and friendly, likes to cuddle, and doesn't have big food issues. She's reading and doing math actually at her age level.
She's in a terrific school with a full-time educator and the full panoply of therapies (occupational, speech, etc.), and she has another therapist who works with her a few hours on the weekend.
The one place she's not progressing is in her bodily functions. She still has accidents if she's distracted -- for example if she's playing a computer game. She never goes potty by herself -- we have to take her. And she only poops at night, in her diaper, generally when she's asleep.
Generally she doesn't have a lot of physical problems, but her fine motor skills aren't perfect. I can't get her to pedal backwards on her bike, for example, in order to hit the brakes.
The school hasn't been able to help us with this question.
We've tried offering rewards to get her to poop. But we don't think she know what to do.
We've tried to administer laxatives, but she's resistant to taking them. We haven't pushed it.
This might be something she just isn't advanced enough to do physically, with her own special issues. Hopefully, it's something she'll grow into. But does anyone have any advice?
My daughter is mildly autistic. At 6, she's talking at about a 3-year-old stage of language, and making slow but steady progress. She's incredibly happy and friendly, likes to cuddle, and doesn't have big food issues. She's reading and doing math actually at her age level.
She's in a terrific school with a full-time educator and the full panoply of therapies (occupational, speech, etc.), and she has another therapist who works with her a few hours on the weekend.
The one place she's not progressing is in her bodily functions. She still has accidents if she's distracted -- for example if she's playing a computer game. She never goes potty by herself -- we have to take her. And she only poops at night, in her diaper, generally when she's asleep.
Generally she doesn't have a lot of physical problems, but her fine motor skills aren't perfect. I can't get her to pedal backwards on her bike, for example, in order to hit the brakes.
The school hasn't been able to help us with this question.
We've tried offering rewards to get her to poop. But we don't think she know what to do.
We've tried to administer laxatives, but she's resistant to taking them. We haven't pushed it.
This might be something she just isn't advanced enough to do physically, with her own special issues. Hopefully, it's something she'll grow into. But does anyone have any advice?
If for some reason I'm having a hard time going #2, I grab a book for distraction while I sit on the toilet. Since I imagine your daughter isn't reading, how about you try some relaxing music? Or a book on tape?
It's possible that she's holding it in. When you hear jokes about people being 'anal retentive' that's actually a reference to people who prefer the physical sensations (snd according to Freud, psychological stuff) involved in not pooping.
If there is a reason your daughter prefers not pooping, coercion will not fix the problem of her not going in the day time.
Definitely talk to her OT, as there could also be physical stuff going on that would indicate a visit to a doctor.
posted by bilabial at 3:44 PM on May 8, 2010
It's possible that she's holding it in. When you hear jokes about people being 'anal retentive' that's actually a reference to people who prefer the physical sensations (snd according to Freud, psychological stuff) involved in not pooping.
If there is a reason your daughter prefers not pooping, coercion will not fix the problem of her not going in the day time.
Definitely talk to her OT, as there could also be physical stuff going on that would indicate a visit to a doctor.
posted by bilabial at 3:44 PM on May 8, 2010
I should have been clearer. Anything that she senses as coercion will likely not help the situation.
You know your daughter and are in the best position to find a solution to this with her therapists.
posted by bilabial at 4:01 PM on May 8, 2010
You know your daughter and are in the best position to find a solution to this with her therapists.
posted by bilabial at 4:01 PM on May 8, 2010
Understandably, pooping is gross to kids. Not long after being potty-trained, my little cousin once asked when he would not have to poop anymore because he hated wiping so much. They don't wanna touch it, which inevitably happens until they get skilled enough at wiping. Maybe your daughter is afraid of going to the bathroom because she doesn't want to touch the poop. How about trying a toilet-attaching bidet. It may help because she could use it to cleanse the area without having to wipe and possibly touch the poop. She'd still have to use TP to dry herself, but at least she'd be less likely to touch poop.
posted by wherever, whatever at 5:59 PM on May 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by wherever, whatever at 5:59 PM on May 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
we have ongoing issues with my 10 year old autistic son over pooping, though they weren't the same. He has always resisted going, though, and the only thing that used to help was giving him mineral oil to make the passage easier (for some reason, he was ok with taking a tablespoon a day, by strawy), and often he would begin to go during his bath. We'd resort to that when it'd been a couple of days, and if we saw him starting to try to hold it back in the tub, we'd just encourage him to go, and by then it was usually too late for him to really hold it back. Mostly just watching his body language and recognizing when he would be trying to hold it back - or the other cues that he needed to go (gas, etc.) we've gotten to the point now where I tell him at about the same time every day to go on in and go poo, he doesn't like it but goes, and it's very rare that he can't eliminate. I'd try getting books - everyone poops, once upon a potty, the various books about the body and potty training, and work on getting her comfortable with sitting on the potty and trying to go - with of course, effusive praise when she's successful. Good luck.
posted by lemniskate at 8:52 PM on May 8, 2010
posted by lemniskate at 8:52 PM on May 8, 2010
Seconding just about everything lemniskate said. This is very common for autistic kids. It sounds like you have a behavioral therapist working with her? You should go directly to this person and ask them to work up a program for this.
posted by P.o.B. at 6:01 AM on May 9, 2010
posted by P.o.B. at 6:01 AM on May 9, 2010
The gastrocolic reflex is the that makes people need to have a bowel movement soon after eating (and on arising in the morning). It is generally stronger in children than adults.
You can use this to your advantage by making it a regular habit to sit the child on the potty within 5 minutes or so of eating.
It may or may not work with any individual but it might be worth a try and might be another helpful aid in addition to others you might try.
posted by flug at 7:24 AM on May 9, 2010
You can use this to your advantage by making it a regular habit to sit the child on the potty within 5 minutes or so of eating.
It may or may not work with any individual but it might be worth a try and might be another helpful aid in addition to others you might try.
posted by flug at 7:24 AM on May 9, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
No amount of reward or encouragement or laxatives are going to help if she doesn't appreciate the sense of fullness in her bowels or bladder.
There are lots of ways to help her learn to feel that, but it's really important for you to get advice from the therapists who are working with your child and already know which ways she ranges with sensitivies. What works on one kid might not work on yours, so please do take advantage of her support network.
posted by headspace at 2:30 PM on May 8, 2010 [1 favorite]