Cure My Verbosity.
February 3, 2010 7:29 PM Subscribe
Help me to use fewer words (in everyday speech and in writing).
I am excessively verbose.
I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding shades/layers of meaning to hone my point for accuracy and precision. Others miss the subtlety and believe I am simply repeating myself.
Using fewer words is disconcerting: my ideas become slogans, devoid of nuance and unable to communicate my meaning accurately.
Still, it's clear my over-explaining does not have the honing effect I intend.
How can I learn to use fewer words?
(Streamlining this message has taken extreme restraint and altogether too much time).
I am excessively verbose.
I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding shades/layers of meaning to hone my point for accuracy and precision. Others miss the subtlety and believe I am simply repeating myself.
Using fewer words is disconcerting: my ideas become slogans, devoid of nuance and unable to communicate my meaning accurately.
Still, it's clear my over-explaining does not have the honing effect I intend.
How can I learn to use fewer words?
(Streamlining this message has taken extreme restraint and altogether too much time).
A good trick is to write as you normally would, then remove three words from every sentence. Sounds impossible, but try it and you'll soon learn what bits are excessive and/or redundant and instinctively edit them out.
I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding shades/layers of meaning to hone my point for accuracy and precision.
I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding layers of meaning for precision.
Compare the above. There is a slight difference in meaning*, but the gist for the reader is the same.
*Another example! I initially wrote that there was a slight difference in meaning between the two, but "between the two" was redundant, at least for the purposes of this post.
posted by dayintoday at 7:38 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding shades/layers of meaning to hone my point for accuracy and precision.
I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding layers of meaning for precision.
Compare the above. There is a slight difference in meaning*, but the gist for the reader is the same.
*Another example! I initially wrote that there was a slight difference in meaning between the two, but "between the two" was redundant, at least for the purposes of this post.
posted by dayintoday at 7:38 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
You need to read Strunk and White's Elements of Style.
posted by dunkadunc at 7:41 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by dunkadunc at 7:41 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
I have been watching someone teach lately who is both brilliant and could have written this question. For him, the problem is that he doesn't understand his crowd. They are both smarter than he thinks they are and care less for his (excellent) theory of formal functions in Classical music than he thinks they should. As a result, he does exactly what you said above, and he sometimes loses the students. They ARE interested, but they are not as interested as he is. After all, it is HIS life's work, not theirs.
Since I've been watching him lately, I've been ruminating on this problem, hoping to avoid it myself. The trick, I think, is saying less than you think you need to, but choosing your words so well that your listener/reader will be fascinated enough to think about what you've said and, if applicable, ask questions.
There are some instances (academic writing comes to mind) when this is less necessary; even then, though, knowing how to pack a punch in as few words as possible is desirable. My thesis advisor, who is a great writer, used to mark "word choice?" all the time, and inevitably, I would find that there was a more precise word for what I was trying to describe or that I could use three words to say what had been three sentences.
Good luck...this is an admirable goal!
posted by nosila at 7:46 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
Since I've been watching him lately, I've been ruminating on this problem, hoping to avoid it myself. The trick, I think, is saying less than you think you need to, but choosing your words so well that your listener/reader will be fascinated enough to think about what you've said and, if applicable, ask questions.
There are some instances (academic writing comes to mind) when this is less necessary; even then, though, knowing how to pack a punch in as few words as possible is desirable. My thesis advisor, who is a great writer, used to mark "word choice?" all the time, and inevitably, I would find that there was a more precise word for what I was trying to describe or that I could use three words to say what had been three sentences.
Good luck...this is an admirable goal!
posted by nosila at 7:46 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
Look, long post short your problem appears to be your need to be precise. Stop trying to "learn how to use fewer words" and start trying to accept that you're not that important. I'm not insulting you, but even lawyers in court need to learn to be succinct because people won't listen otherwise. Learn to let it go. Your words don't need to be perfect.
Consider that the purpose of talking with most people is to create a connection, not present a thesis. At the end of the day, no one cares about the "layers of meaning" in whatever you're talking about (if they even remember what you talked about at all.)
posted by Solon and Thanks at 7:54 PM on February 3, 2010 [18 favorites]
Consider that the purpose of talking with most people is to create a connection, not present a thesis. At the end of the day, no one cares about the "layers of meaning" in whatever you're talking about (if they even remember what you talked about at all.)
posted by Solon and Thanks at 7:54 PM on February 3, 2010 [18 favorites]
Try reading On Writing Well, by William Zinsser. The best possible way to use language is to be clear and, above all, remember your audience. It is a conversation, not a monologue. Even if you're listening to the most interesting person talk about your life's passion, eventually, your brain needs a break.
Think of something that doesn't interest you at all--say, World of Warcraft. Someone else, Bob, can't wait to tell you about WoW. He could go on for hours. How can Bob do this? Leave you wanting more. Think carefully and distill his points down to their bare essence. Be a generous person: just give them the good stuff, the most relevant, and be generous with their time.
Now remember: you care about what you're saying more than anyone else in the world. You are Bob, and the rest of the world doesn't care as much about WoW as you do. Be generous.
posted by blazingunicorn at 8:01 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Think of something that doesn't interest you at all--say, World of Warcraft. Someone else, Bob, can't wait to tell you about WoW. He could go on for hours. How can Bob do this? Leave you wanting more. Think carefully and distill his points down to their bare essence. Be a generous person: just give them the good stuff, the most relevant, and be generous with their time.
Now remember: you care about what you're saying more than anyone else in the world. You are Bob, and the rest of the world doesn't care as much about WoW as you do. Be generous.
posted by blazingunicorn at 8:01 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Stop trying to "learn how to use fewer words" and start trying to accept that you're not that important. I'm not insulting you, but even lawyers in court need to learn to be succinct because people won't listen otherwise.
Ha! Just realized this could seem contradictory. My point was I see a lot of obsession with making perfectly concise sentences. Even people whose speeches are very important don't try that hard to convey perfect meaning. So, rather than trying to be short-and-precise rather than long-and-precise, give up the need to be precise.
(speaking of not constantly clarifying things, I'm a huge hypocrite.)
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:06 PM on February 3, 2010
Ha! Just realized this could seem contradictory. My point was I see a lot of obsession with making perfectly concise sentences. Even people whose speeches are very important don't try that hard to convey perfect meaning. So, rather than trying to be short-and-precise rather than long-and-precise, give up the need to be precise.
(speaking of not constantly clarifying things, I'm a huge hypocrite.)
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:06 PM on February 3, 2010
Parentheticals are the death of terseness.
See, there, I've said it. I said it without any qualifying or pendant statements. This feels weird because this is not how I (and I may hazard, you) think.
DAMN IT, look what i've gone and done now. The nuance that I wished to bring to this statement is such that I am willing to clog up my stream of thought in order to make sure you are not offended or bored by the foregoing.
BOO. Bad sentence. Goes in too many directions.
When you have to sit down and streamline communications you have to deconvolve a whole bunch of interconnected ideas and state them individually and tersely. Transitions then become critical in that each thought should come out clearly but also be obviously connected somehow the the proceeding ones and then set up for the next. This is quite easy in writing. as time is a luxury.
Never having heard you speak, it's impossible to say if you are speaking to fill time as your brain tries to organize the next sentence, or if what you're saying is strictly necessary. Cogency is not the same thing as terseness and vice versa. If you need to pause and arrange your next set of ideas, do so. It really won't cost you anything unless someone interrupts you.
If what you're speaking about is a set of ideas that you are working on, write them out. It's okay if you have a routine set of sentences to describe something that you're going to have to talk about alot. This will help you streamline in advance.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 8:08 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]
See, there, I've said it. I said it without any qualifying or pendant statements. This feels weird because this is not how I (and I may hazard, you) think.
DAMN IT, look what i've gone and done now. The nuance that I wished to bring to this statement is such that I am willing to clog up my stream of thought in order to make sure you are not offended or bored by the foregoing.
BOO. Bad sentence. Goes in too many directions.
When you have to sit down and streamline communications you have to deconvolve a whole bunch of interconnected ideas and state them individually and tersely. Transitions then become critical in that each thought should come out clearly but also be obviously connected somehow the the proceeding ones and then set up for the next. This is quite easy in writing. as time is a luxury.
Never having heard you speak, it's impossible to say if you are speaking to fill time as your brain tries to organize the next sentence, or if what you're saying is strictly necessary. Cogency is not the same thing as terseness and vice versa. If you need to pause and arrange your next set of ideas, do so. It really won't cost you anything unless someone interrupts you.
If what you're speaking about is a set of ideas that you are working on, write them out. It's okay if you have a routine set of sentences to describe something that you're going to have to talk about alot. This will help you streamline in advance.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 8:08 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]
I've tried to make my own writing more concise, especially for writing within a word limit.
One cause of verbosity is using multi-word phrases to express ideas that could be better expressed with single words. Often a multi-word phrase is the first way I can think of to express an idea, but I know there's a more precise word that I can't think of. A good thesaurus—or more than one thesaurus—helps a lot. Note that finding the right word takes time; it makes your writing better, but it will slow you down.
posted by k. at 8:14 PM on February 3, 2010
One cause of verbosity is using multi-word phrases to express ideas that could be better expressed with single words. Often a multi-word phrase is the first way I can think of to express an idea, but I know there's a more precise word that I can't think of. A good thesaurus—or more than one thesaurus—helps a lot. Note that finding the right word takes time; it makes your writing better, but it will slow you down.
posted by k. at 8:14 PM on February 3, 2010
Here's another idea (which I don't always follow myself, but should): before you write, make an outline. If the structure of the whole document is determined in advance, it's harder to wander off and say unnecessary things. If the outline is very detailed, you may find that the writing itself is hardly more than an expansion of the outline into full sentences, which makes it concise.
I don't write like that all the time; I only do it when I know exactly what I'm going to say in advance. But I also wish I always planned out exactly what wanted to say in advance, so I think it would be a good habit to get into.
posted by k. at 8:22 PM on February 3, 2010
I don't write like that all the time; I only do it when I know exactly what I'm going to say in advance. But I also wish I always planned out exactly what wanted to say in advance, so I think it would be a good habit to get into.
posted by k. at 8:22 PM on February 3, 2010
If you write fiction, drabbles (short-fiction of exactly 100 words) are a great way to teach yourself to minimize unnecessary words. Go here, generate a subject, and write a 100-word story about it. Rinse. Repeat. Over time, you should get a sense of which words are the most important to the piece, and which the least.
The trouble is applying that lesson when you don't have a word limit... but when it comes time to edit, that instinct for the "meat" of the sentence will serve you well.
posted by vorfeed at 8:28 PM on February 3, 2010
The trouble is applying that lesson when you don't have a word limit... but when it comes time to edit, that instinct for the "meat" of the sentence will serve you well.
posted by vorfeed at 8:28 PM on February 3, 2010
First you need to realize that a lot of words are simply irrelevant in common contextual usage.
"The Wright Bros made the first ever flight."
Really? The first ... ever? "Ever" is irrelevant in this context. There's only one first time. There will be only one second time, too.
"The New Orleans Saints are a great NFL team."
That's nice, but most of us already know the Colts play in the NFL. You can just say they're a great team, period. Unless the word(s) is really adding something we don't already know, you can leave it out.
You see a lot of errors around useless prepositions at the ends of sentences:
"That sure is a dark green background on this website."
Really? On this website? The one we're already looking at? I already know we're looking at this website. Yes, it is a dark green background. On this website. That we're looking at. Right now. Thank you for mentioning it. The website, I mean. This one. Here.
So ... did you write only what you needed to write? Great. Now, stop writing.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:40 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
"The Wright Bros made the first ever flight."
Really? The first ... ever? "Ever" is irrelevant in this context. There's only one first time. There will be only one second time, too.
"The New Orleans Saints are a great NFL team."
That's nice, but most of us already know the Colts play in the NFL. You can just say they're a great team, period. Unless the word(s) is really adding something we don't already know, you can leave it out.
You see a lot of errors around useless prepositions at the ends of sentences:
"That sure is a dark green background on this website."
Really? On this website? The one we're already looking at? I already know we're looking at this website. Yes, it is a dark green background. On this website. That we're looking at. Right now. Thank you for mentioning it. The website, I mean. This one. Here.
So ... did you write only what you needed to write? Great. Now, stop writing.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:40 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
The first thing I usually do when editing my writing is to try and delete as many prepositional phrases as possible. Many are just not needed, and others can be replaced with different sentence structure.
posted by The Deej at 8:44 PM on February 3, 2010
posted by The Deej at 8:44 PM on February 3, 2010
I read a lot of Hemingway.
posted by cmoj at 8:49 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by cmoj at 8:49 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]
Twitter's forced brevity has made me carefully consider what I write in other contexts. It's become a habit.
posted by desjardins at 9:13 PM on February 3, 2010
posted by desjardins at 9:13 PM on February 3, 2010
Practice makes perfect. Get feedback from readers. Develop a rhythm to your sentence construction. Use the affirmative. For example, "It is good." not "I think it is good."
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:15 PM on February 3, 2010
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:15 PM on February 3, 2010
I think this is primarily an ego issue. If you want to be less verbose, you'll have to give up (of at least a portion of) your strong attachment to parentheticals, as Cold Lurkey so nicely put it. However, I think the desire and even pathological need to clarify via multiple shades of meaning indicates a very sharp mind. I used to have it, and I'm regretful that I've mostly lost it. You don't want to dull that mind by stopping it from doing what it likes to do so well. Others may misunderstand you and find listening to you annoying, but so be it. Personally, I absolutely love listening to people who are verbose - so long as they're not arrogant.
If you must cut (for professional reasons, for instance), practice will make perfect. Just try to look at the paring down as a frustrating necessity. It makes your ideas more digestible for the rest of us. Do not let it change the way you think. So don't try to cut words before they flow out of your brain, if that makes any sense.
I'm assuming that you're doing some higher education right now. If it's in the social sciences, you might try reading George Steiner (I like Real Presences). I've always found that he can communicate layers and layers in only a few words. One way he does this is by using words of Greek and Latin origin, placed just so, such that the absence of the more common word (not 'beginning', but 'genesis', for instance) becomes really apparent. The effect is that meanings/senses of the absent word and the Latin or Greek word sort of swirl together and then reverberate.
posted by kitcat at 11:32 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
If you must cut (for professional reasons, for instance), practice will make perfect. Just try to look at the paring down as a frustrating necessity. It makes your ideas more digestible for the rest of us. Do not let it change the way you think. So don't try to cut words before they flow out of your brain, if that makes any sense.
I'm assuming that you're doing some higher education right now. If it's in the social sciences, you might try reading George Steiner (I like Real Presences). I've always found that he can communicate layers and layers in only a few words. One way he does this is by using words of Greek and Latin origin, placed just so, such that the absence of the more common word (not 'beginning', but 'genesis', for instance) becomes really apparent. The effect is that meanings/senses of the absent word and the Latin or Greek word sort of swirl together and then reverberate.
posted by kitcat at 11:32 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
Version 1:
Help meto use fewer words (in everyday speech and in writing).
(unnecessary words)
I amexcessively verbose.
(there is no such thing as adequately verbose)
I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding shades/layers of meaning to hone my point for accuracy and precision. Others miss the subtlety and believe I am simply repeating myself.
Honestly, you're not adding any meaning in this paragraph other than that you like to repeat yourself. This would be more succinct, anyhow:
I explain myself using multiple perspectives, but people think I'm repeating myself.
Using fewer words is disconcerting: my ideas become slogans, devoid of nuance and unable to communicate my meaning accurately.
you need to practice.
Still, it's clear my over-explaining does not have the honing effect I intend.
Are you listening to yourself? Here's what my mind is hearing: bla bla blah, I'm self-important, boring, I like to fill empty spaces with repetition.
How can I learn to use fewer words?
You already said this in the first line of your post.
(Streamlining this message has taken extreme restraint andaltogether too much time).
How did you leave in so many unnecessary words? Also, what shade of meaning does the word "altogether" convey? As opposed to partially too much time? Why use the perfect aspect? Do you have a causal relationship in mind, or do you just like the extra word "has"? Just use the past tense! These extraneous words are motivated by something else.
posted by esprit de l'escalier at 12:52 AM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
Help me
(unnecessary words)
I am
(there is no such thing as adequately verbose)
Honestly, you're not adding any meaning in this paragraph other than that you like to repeat yourself. This would be more succinct, anyhow:
I explain myself using multiple perspectives, but people think I'm repeating myself.
Using fewer words is disconcerting: my ideas become slogans, devoid of nuance
you need to practice.
Still, it's clear my over-explaining does not have the honing effect I intend.
Are you listening to yourself? Here's what my mind is hearing: bla bla blah, I'm self-important, boring, I like to fill empty spaces with repetition.
You already said this in the first line of your post.
(Streamlining this message has taken extreme restraint and
How did you leave in so many unnecessary words? Also, what shade of meaning does the word "altogether" convey? As opposed to partially too much time? Why use the perfect aspect? Do you have a causal relationship in mind, or do you just like the extra word "has"? Just use the past tense! These extraneous words are motivated by something else.
posted by esprit de l'escalier at 12:52 AM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
Every word should add something to a sentence. If it doesn't, cut it out.
It is natural and expected that a final draft be 15% shorter than the first draft. This is one of the best rules of editing.
Try reading style guides - The Economist's style guide (http://www.economist.com/research/styleguide/) is pithy and mostly good.
http://www.economist.com/research/styleguide/
Putting this to practice in your opening post:
"I am excessively verbose."
Excessive isn't needed here. Verbose already implies the excessive use of words. This sort of tautology is one of the most frequent causes of verbosity.
"I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding shades/layers of meaning to hone my point for accuracy and precision. Others miss the subtlety and believe I am simply repeating myself."
Judge for yourself whether a word or phrase is actually 'honing a point' and whether that sort of distinction and nuance is necessary. If so, keep the wording. If not, get rid of it. 'Shades/layers' and 'accuracy/precision', for example, mean the same thing in this context. You could have gotten rid of one of each pair.
"my ideas become slogans"
Your ideas will only be slogan-like if they are poor ideas, or if the phrasing is trite. An original thought, or even an unoriginal thought phrased originally, will carry its own insight.
"(Streamlining this message has taken extreme restraint and altogether too much time)."
Be careful with adverbs like 'extreme' and 'altogether'. Often you can change the verb instead of having a verb + adverb modifier. Likewise with adjectives - see if you can write with nouns and verbs rather than nouns + adjectives, verbs + adverbs.
posted by kid A at 1:15 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
It is natural and expected that a final draft be 15% shorter than the first draft. This is one of the best rules of editing.
Try reading style guides - The Economist's style guide (http://www.economist.com/research/styleguide/) is pithy and mostly good.
http://www.economist.com/research/styleguide/
Putting this to practice in your opening post:
"I am excessively verbose."
Excessive isn't needed here. Verbose already implies the excessive use of words. This sort of tautology is one of the most frequent causes of verbosity.
"I explain myself from multiple perspectives, adding shades/layers of meaning to hone my point for accuracy and precision. Others miss the subtlety and believe I am simply repeating myself."
Judge for yourself whether a word or phrase is actually 'honing a point' and whether that sort of distinction and nuance is necessary. If so, keep the wording. If not, get rid of it. 'Shades/layers' and 'accuracy/precision', for example, mean the same thing in this context. You could have gotten rid of one of each pair.
"my ideas become slogans"
Your ideas will only be slogan-like if they are poor ideas, or if the phrasing is trite. An original thought, or even an unoriginal thought phrased originally, will carry its own insight.
"(Streamlining this message has taken extreme restraint and altogether too much time)."
Be careful with adverbs like 'extreme' and 'altogether'. Often you can change the verb instead of having a verb + adverb modifier. Likewise with adjectives - see if you can write with nouns and verbs rather than nouns + adjectives, verbs + adverbs.
posted by kid A at 1:15 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Know your audience.
This is the key to effective writing/speaking. Most people don't want or need all the precise details. They don't care! Most of the time, it's boring and confusing! You add all these details, you get so precise, and you think that you will be understood perfectly. But you get the opposite! People tune out or get lost, and they undestand your idea or position *less* than if you had given a short, vague statement.
So, try to be an efficient communicator. Instead of trying to make sure you have said everything as precisely as possible, start off with the basics, and allow the details to come out in conversation (or responded emails). This means, you need to make a small leap of faith and *trust* that your audience will understand you (more or less), and that if they don't understand, or if they want more deatils, then you will gladly explain more.
posted by molecicco at 1:28 AM on February 4, 2010
This is the key to effective writing/speaking. Most people don't want or need all the precise details. They don't care! Most of the time, it's boring and confusing! You add all these details, you get so precise, and you think that you will be understood perfectly. But you get the opposite! People tune out or get lost, and they undestand your idea or position *less* than if you had given a short, vague statement.
So, try to be an efficient communicator. Instead of trying to make sure you have said everything as precisely as possible, start off with the basics, and allow the details to come out in conversation (or responded emails). This means, you need to make a small leap of faith and *trust* that your audience will understand you (more or less), and that if they don't understand, or if they want more deatils, then you will gladly explain more.
posted by molecicco at 1:28 AM on February 4, 2010
The concept of 'plain language' might interest you here. That website has a wealth of examples of wordy / verbose documents that have been re-written to be clearer and easier to understand. It's not about dumbing down - but about getting to the real meat of what you're trying to get across. It's a government site because - as they so clearly state:
Plain language means your readers can understand your documents more quickly. Readers won't call you so much for explanations. They make fewer errors filling out your forms. They comply more accurately and quickly with requirements.
You can also check out the advocacy group Center for Plain Language. Although their website resources focus more on the written word, I'm sure if you email them they'd be happy to direct you to resources for plain language in speaking and less formal communications.
And let me just say as someone who is beginning a career in the field (plain language in health communications) - thank you for considering this! I believe plain language is key to removing many of the disparities and barriers in our society.
posted by pants at 4:04 AM on February 4, 2010
Plain language means your readers can understand your documents more quickly. Readers won't call you so much for explanations. They make fewer errors filling out your forms. They comply more accurately and quickly with requirements.
You can also check out the advocacy group Center for Plain Language. Although their website resources focus more on the written word, I'm sure if you email them they'd be happy to direct you to resources for plain language in speaking and less formal communications.
And let me just say as someone who is beginning a career in the field (plain language in health communications) - thank you for considering this! I believe plain language is key to removing many of the disparities and barriers in our society.
posted by pants at 4:04 AM on February 4, 2010
I make some of the windiest people on earth (politicians) less verbose for a living. I have found the following resources extremely helpful:
- The Complete Plain Words, by Ernest Gowers
- "Politics and the English Language", by George Orwell
- The Plain English Campaign website
- Jakob Nielsen's Writing for the Web
Verbosity in normal people (i.e. not politicians) often seems to stem from the fear that they will not get a chance to develop their ideas fully, convey their meaning completely or entertain all possible perspectives before committing to an opinion. Part of learning to write well and concisely is letting go of these fears, just like part of being a good conversationalist is letting go of the need to verbalize every idea that pops into your head. Blogging or journaling can be a good way to develop, elaborate on and experiment with your ideas before pruning them for delivery to others.
Hang in there. As many people have discovered, being long-winded is easy. Being concise takes practice and self-discipline.
posted by stuck on an island at 4:44 AM on February 4, 2010 [7 favorites]
- The Complete Plain Words, by Ernest Gowers
- "Politics and the English Language", by George Orwell
- The Plain English Campaign website
- Jakob Nielsen's Writing for the Web
Verbosity in normal people (i.e. not politicians) often seems to stem from the fear that they will not get a chance to develop their ideas fully, convey their meaning completely or entertain all possible perspectives before committing to an opinion. Part of learning to write well and concisely is letting go of these fears, just like part of being a good conversationalist is letting go of the need to verbalize every idea that pops into your head. Blogging or journaling can be a good way to develop, elaborate on and experiment with your ideas before pruning them for delivery to others.
Hang in there. As many people have discovered, being long-winded is easy. Being concise takes practice and self-discipline.
posted by stuck on an island at 4:44 AM on February 4, 2010 [7 favorites]
Based on this post, you might also focus on your level of diction as well as the number of words you're using. Even though your sentences here are not very long, they're full of inflated terms that would make my eyes glaze over pretty quickly. I used to have a colleague who talked in meetings like you're writing here, and it always seemed pretentious to me, and a bit ridiculous, and I not only had trouble staying patient to listen to him, and understanding him, I felt a little embarrassed for him.
For instance: "I am excessively verbose." Only four words, but with just those four words you have already signaled that you're a big fan of big words and windy abstraction. How about, "I tend to be wordy"? Or, "I have trouble stopping talking even when my point has already been made." It's more words but it's much clearer, and it won't feel as long-winded to your listener.
Using fewer words is disconcerting: my ideas become slogans, devoid of nuance and unable to communicate my meaning accurately.
No, using big words like this steals meaning and clarity from your ideas. For instance, I'm not sure what you mean by "disconcerting" here, or to whom it's supposed to be disconcerting. How about, "When I use fewer words, I'm afraid I'm not accurately making my point." Your ideas "become slogans" not because you're going on and on, but because if this is your normal level of speech and writing, what you're saying lacks concrete ideas and specificity. You're talking on the level of campaign slogans.
Still, it's clear my over-explaining does not have the honing effect I intend.
"Still, even when I go on longer, it's clear my hearers are still not getting my point."
See what I mean?
posted by not that girl at 6:50 AM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
For instance: "I am excessively verbose." Only four words, but with just those four words you have already signaled that you're a big fan of big words and windy abstraction. How about, "I tend to be wordy"? Or, "I have trouble stopping talking even when my point has already been made." It's more words but it's much clearer, and it won't feel as long-winded to your listener.
Using fewer words is disconcerting: my ideas become slogans, devoid of nuance and unable to communicate my meaning accurately.
No, using big words like this steals meaning and clarity from your ideas. For instance, I'm not sure what you mean by "disconcerting" here, or to whom it's supposed to be disconcerting. How about, "When I use fewer words, I'm afraid I'm not accurately making my point." Your ideas "become slogans" not because you're going on and on, but because if this is your normal level of speech and writing, what you're saying lacks concrete ideas and specificity. You're talking on the level of campaign slogans.
Still, it's clear my over-explaining does not have the honing effect I intend.
"Still, even when I go on longer, it's clear my hearers are still not getting my point."
See what I mean?
posted by not that girl at 6:50 AM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
"The letter I have written today is longer than usual because I lacked the time to make it shorter."
Blaise Pascal
"Whenever we can make 25 words do the work of 50, we halve the area in which looseness and disorganization can flourish."
Wilson Follett
"Anybody can have ideas—the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph. I never write "metropolis" for seven cents when I can write "city" and get paid the same.
As to the adjective, when in doubt, strike it out."
Mark Twain
Plenty of other great quotes on this topic from the site pants linked above.
I communicate most effectively when I am not trying to display my command of the dictionary. When drafting an important email / memo / document, I fire away a rough draft with reckless abandon. I then go through it at least 5-10 times with a scalpel and remove all the junk. It is really amazing how much fat we inject into our communication. If I had the time, I could probably cut down this comment by 50%. Regarding verbal communication, I just recommend slowing down.
posted by jasondigitized at 6:54 AM on February 4, 2010
Blaise Pascal
"Whenever we can make 25 words do the work of 50, we halve the area in which looseness and disorganization can flourish."
Wilson Follett
"Anybody can have ideas—the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph. I never write "metropolis" for seven cents when I can write "city" and get paid the same.
As to the adjective, when in doubt, strike it out."
Mark Twain
Plenty of other great quotes on this topic from the site pants linked above.
I communicate most effectively when I am not trying to display my command of the dictionary. When drafting an important email / memo / document, I fire away a rough draft with reckless abandon. I then go through it at least 5-10 times with a scalpel and remove all the junk. It is really amazing how much fat we inject into our communication. If I had the time, I could probably cut down this comment by 50%. Regarding verbal communication, I just recommend slowing down.
posted by jasondigitized at 6:54 AM on February 4, 2010
Choose better verbs. Start with your writing; use the Paramedic Method to systematically edit out excessive numbers of phrases and clauses.
Once you get used to front-loeading your sentences with the subject and verb, it gets easier to speak that way too.
posted by answergrape at 9:37 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Once you get used to front-loeading your sentences with the subject and verb, it gets easier to speak that way too.
posted by answergrape at 9:37 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
er.... "front-loading"
posted by answergrape at 9:38 AM on February 4, 2010
posted by answergrape at 9:38 AM on February 4, 2010
Knowing big words is fine, knowing when to use them is key. Using the shortest, clearest word even if you know a longer synonym makes your meaning clearer. For example:
"Utilize an excavational implement to maneuver excrement"
is not as clear as:
"Shovel shit."
posted by kirkaracha at 11:37 AM on February 4, 2010
"Utilize an excavational implement to maneuver excrement"
is not as clear as:
"Shovel shit."
posted by kirkaracha at 11:37 AM on February 4, 2010
Twitter is great practice for this.
posted by Jacqueline at 3:56 PM on February 4, 2010
posted by Jacqueline at 3:56 PM on February 4, 2010
Response by poster: Thanks for the suggestions.
My verbosity isn't ego-driven, it's honesty-driven. I have trouble speaking in absolutes because I feel dishonest unless I follow up with clarification.
Example: someone asks about the length of my commute. I answer "about 35 minutes. On a good day with all green lights I can make it in 30. In rush hour traffic it can be close to an hour. But generally, about 35 minutes. Maybe 40."
Why can't I just say "35 minutes."? I wish I could, but it feels like I'm lying.
Perhaps my original question should have been phrased:
As soon as I say anything, my mind:
1.) races through every exception that would make the statement inaccurate,
2.) cringes over the broad-stroked imprecision of the statement.
Then I can't shut my yapper until I feel I have expressed the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. [several clarifying sentences deleted here--begrudgingly--in an attempt better myself]
How do succinct people do it?
posted by Alabaster at 5:47 PM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
My verbosity isn't ego-driven, it's honesty-driven. I have trouble speaking in absolutes because I feel dishonest unless I follow up with clarification.
Example: someone asks about the length of my commute. I answer "about 35 minutes. On a good day with all green lights I can make it in 30. In rush hour traffic it can be close to an hour. But generally, about 35 minutes. Maybe 40."
Why can't I just say "35 minutes."? I wish I could, but it feels like I'm lying.
Perhaps my original question should have been phrased:
As soon as I say anything, my mind:
1.) races through every exception that would make the statement inaccurate,
2.) cringes over the broad-stroked imprecision of the statement.
Then I can't shut my yapper until I feel I have expressed the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. [several clarifying sentences deleted here--begrudgingly--in an attempt better myself]
How do succinct people do it?
posted by Alabaster at 5:47 PM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Ah, so it sounds like your problem is "lack of filter" rather than "need to be succinct." You don't need to be super precise, but rather to not say everything that comes to mind.
I don't think there's a trick to this other than practice.
Why not ask a close friend to give you a signal every time you veer into "tl;dl" territory?
posted by Solon and Thanks at 7:29 PM on February 4, 2010
I don't think there's a trick to this other than practice.
Why not ask a close friend to give you a signal every time you veer into "tl;dl" territory?
posted by Solon and Thanks at 7:29 PM on February 4, 2010
Why can't I just say "35 minutes."? I wish I could, but it feels like I'm lying.
Signify the level of precision if you must: "Typically 35 minutes." If they want more details, they will ask.
They will not ask. :-)
posted by callmejay at 8:21 PM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Signify the level of precision if you must: "Typically 35 minutes." If they want more details, they will ask.
They will not ask. :-)
posted by callmejay at 8:21 PM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Leave out the bits that readers tend to skip" - Larry Elmore.
Example: someone asks about the length of my commute. I answer "about 35 minutes. On a good day with all green lights I can make it in 30. In rush hour traffic it can be close to an hour. But generally, about 35 minutes. Maybe 40."
I've seen a couple of "how not to act like a geek" blog posts recently, and being overly precise was one of the features.
I remember as a teenager, one of my friends wildly exaggerated her stories for effect, and I'm just like "That's nothing like what happened." Eventually I realized telling a good story is more important than absolute accuracy (though an obsessive level of detail observation is great for a lot of writer types).
And that's exactly what this is - a kind of obsession. Obsession with getting it right. Obsession with communicating. This can be great - this kind of obsession has pushed me to write many a great blog post, and even a few books.
But this kind of obsession is killer for casual communication.
Recognize this as a form of OCD (you obsess over it & are compelled to act on it). OCD can be healthy - we have it because a healthy desire to protect ourselves has kept the species alive, but at OCD levels it's gone a bit haywire.
I bet this XKCD applies to you. It drives me crazy when someone is obviously wrong - not even "working from incorrect assumptions" wrong, but that the conclusions they draw are obviously wrong. This kind of behavior drives a LOT of the internet.
It's taken some practice, but I can now walk away from these kinds of discussions.
It's taken some practice, but I can now delete a 20 paragraph point-by-point dissection and just say the parts that actually add to the conversation.
Practice realizing you don't need to. Catch yourself mid-stream and stop. Practice stopping.
posted by MesoFilter at 10:24 PM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
Example: someone asks about the length of my commute. I answer "about 35 minutes. On a good day with all green lights I can make it in 30. In rush hour traffic it can be close to an hour. But generally, about 35 minutes. Maybe 40."
I've seen a couple of "how not to act like a geek" blog posts recently, and being overly precise was one of the features.
I remember as a teenager, one of my friends wildly exaggerated her stories for effect, and I'm just like "That's nothing like what happened." Eventually I realized telling a good story is more important than absolute accuracy (though an obsessive level of detail observation is great for a lot of writer types).
And that's exactly what this is - a kind of obsession. Obsession with getting it right. Obsession with communicating. This can be great - this kind of obsession has pushed me to write many a great blog post, and even a few books.
But this kind of obsession is killer for casual communication.
Recognize this as a form of OCD (you obsess over it & are compelled to act on it). OCD can be healthy - we have it because a healthy desire to protect ourselves has kept the species alive, but at OCD levels it's gone a bit haywire.
I bet this XKCD applies to you. It drives me crazy when someone is obviously wrong - not even "working from incorrect assumptions" wrong, but that the conclusions they draw are obviously wrong. This kind of behavior drives a LOT of the internet.
It's taken some practice, but I can now walk away from these kinds of discussions.
It's taken some practice, but I can now delete a 20 paragraph point-by-point dissection and just say the parts that actually add to the conversation.
Practice realizing you don't need to. Catch yourself mid-stream and stop. Practice stopping.
posted by MesoFilter at 10:24 PM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
My verbosity isn't ego-driven, it's honesty-driven. I have trouble speaking in absolutes because I feel dishonest unless I follow up with clarification. As soon as I say anything, my mind:
1.) races through every exception that would make the statement inaccurate,
2.) cringes over the broad-stroked imprecision of the statement.
Then I can't shut my yapper until I feel I have expressed the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
When I said I thought was an ego issue, I didn't mean that you were egotistical. Not at all. What I meant was that your need to over-clarify probably comes from some fear, insecurity or from an attachment to a certain idea of who you think you are. When you don't over-clarify, you feel anxious because that barrier of thoughts and words is the only thing keeping you from facing that fear/insecurity/other possible self.
I should have been more clear: ego issues are perfectly ok and interesting and just a fact of life. If your verbosity is really bothering you a lot, you could try to get to the root of the issue. But if it's not really bothering you, just leave it be.
posted by kitcat at 10:29 PM on February 4, 2010
1.) races through every exception that would make the statement inaccurate,
2.) cringes over the broad-stroked imprecision of the statement.
Then I can't shut my yapper until I feel I have expressed the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
When I said I thought was an ego issue, I didn't mean that you were egotistical. Not at all. What I meant was that your need to over-clarify probably comes from some fear, insecurity or from an attachment to a certain idea of who you think you are. When you don't over-clarify, you feel anxious because that barrier of thoughts and words is the only thing keeping you from facing that fear/insecurity/other possible self.
I should have been more clear: ego issues are perfectly ok and interesting and just a fact of life. If your verbosity is really bothering you a lot, you could try to get to the root of the issue. But if it's not really bothering you, just leave it be.
posted by kitcat at 10:29 PM on February 4, 2010
Attempt this:
Before saying,
say it in your head,
then,
ask yourself,
what am I really trying to say? what am I trying to get across?
What do you want the person who hears you to think? - be careful here as you can make a lot of assumptions like "oh, that's obvious, they should be able to get that!".
Then, say it out as a practice run.
Finally, if possible write it out, if not, you can always write for the next time.
Slowly but surely with practice, you can change the way you get out there.
A key that helps me here: pay attention to the people who talk to you, see what they are using.
To reiterate:
Attempt speaking out your concise statement and wait for feedback by paying attention to what the other person understands and chooses to do. Ask for an explanation if feasible.
posted by iNfo.Pump at 9:37 AM on February 5, 2010
Before saying,
say it in your head,
then,
ask yourself,
what am I really trying to say? what am I trying to get across?
What do you want the person who hears you to think? - be careful here as you can make a lot of assumptions like "oh, that's obvious, they should be able to get that!".
Then, say it out as a practice run.
Finally, if possible write it out, if not, you can always write for the next time.
Slowly but surely with practice, you can change the way you get out there.
A key that helps me here: pay attention to the people who talk to you, see what they are using.
To reiterate:
Attempt speaking out your concise statement and wait for feedback by paying attention to what the other person understands and chooses to do. Ask for an explanation if feasible.
posted by iNfo.Pump at 9:37 AM on February 5, 2010
Why can't I just say "35 minutes."? I wish I could, but it feels like I'm lying.
It doesn't also feel like you're boring the pants off someone?
posted by esprit de l'escalier at 5:19 PM on February 5, 2010
It doesn't also feel like you're boring the pants off someone?
posted by esprit de l'escalier at 5:19 PM on February 5, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by marimeko at 7:37 PM on February 3, 2010