A thin line between love & hate?
October 6, 2009 6:22 PM Subscribe
Why would friends of mine suggest to me that an on & off sexual partner who has behaved to me in an insulting manner may secretly have feelings for me? It strikes me as entirely counterintuitve but is there any logic to it?
I consider these comments to be basically wrongheaded and juvenile; afterall, we're not in elementary school anymore. If a guy acts mean, my impression is that he doesn't like me, and more importantly doesn't respect me. I'm not going to concoct fantasies around the notion that he's carrying a very well-hidden torch for me. But where might this perception come from, is there any merit to it, and does it jive with your own experiences?
The semi-short version of the story is that while I'm not usually a practioner of casual sex, a very smart, attractive, and cocky guy I see on a regular basis came onto me but explained that he preferred there be no expectations of any sort. I wasn't impressed with the terms of his proposition but I went along with it. Since then, something of a pattern has been established. Maybe once every two months out of the blue he expresses interest in hooking up. I'll express some reluctance to do it but since I'm not emotionally invested and I find him so attractive, I'll agree. Afterwards, I'll communicate to him that I'm up for doing more, but essentially nothing will come of it and we go back to our regular lives of seeing each other normally, but with discernible tension between us and some flirting. It doesn't really bother me since I don't care too much whether we hook up or not, and I'm not remotely jealous of who he's dating and what he's doing with them.
Strangely though, there will be a rare occasion of him saying something snide to me, hinting or outright stating that he's trying to insult me. I've either confronted him about this in a gentle manner or I've brushed it off. The last time however that he said something with seemingly malicious intent, I didn't brush it off; instead, I was pissed and said some mean things right back to him. Since then we've barely talked and I still haven't figured out what that was all about, but I have to see him fairly frequently and I really want us to get along. Everyone else seems to really enjoy his company and has never had any problems with him. Of course, everyone else hasn't had the chance to sleep with him as I have.
So, is there anything to what some of my friends have told me - that he actually has feelings for me of some kind? It makes far more sense to me that he's a sexist a-hole and/or has some weird madonna-whore complex going on. Or that he simply doesn't like me. Could I be missing something?
I consider these comments to be basically wrongheaded and juvenile; afterall, we're not in elementary school anymore. If a guy acts mean, my impression is that he doesn't like me, and more importantly doesn't respect me. I'm not going to concoct fantasies around the notion that he's carrying a very well-hidden torch for me. But where might this perception come from, is there any merit to it, and does it jive with your own experiences?
The semi-short version of the story is that while I'm not usually a practioner of casual sex, a very smart, attractive, and cocky guy I see on a regular basis came onto me but explained that he preferred there be no expectations of any sort. I wasn't impressed with the terms of his proposition but I went along with it. Since then, something of a pattern has been established. Maybe once every two months out of the blue he expresses interest in hooking up. I'll express some reluctance to do it but since I'm not emotionally invested and I find him so attractive, I'll agree. Afterwards, I'll communicate to him that I'm up for doing more, but essentially nothing will come of it and we go back to our regular lives of seeing each other normally, but with discernible tension between us and some flirting. It doesn't really bother me since I don't care too much whether we hook up or not, and I'm not remotely jealous of who he's dating and what he's doing with them.
Strangely though, there will be a rare occasion of him saying something snide to me, hinting or outright stating that he's trying to insult me. I've either confronted him about this in a gentle manner or I've brushed it off. The last time however that he said something with seemingly malicious intent, I didn't brush it off; instead, I was pissed and said some mean things right back to him. Since then we've barely talked and I still haven't figured out what that was all about, but I have to see him fairly frequently and I really want us to get along. Everyone else seems to really enjoy his company and has never had any problems with him. Of course, everyone else hasn't had the chance to sleep with him as I have.
So, is there anything to what some of my friends have told me - that he actually has feelings for me of some kind? It makes far more sense to me that he's a sexist a-hole and/or has some weird madonna-whore complex going on. Or that he simply doesn't like me. Could I be missing something?
Could be that he has secret feelings for you, though I don't see any evidence of that here. It seems more like he's either (a) trying to be a dick to you in order to make it clear that he's not interested in more, or (b) that's something foolish friends tell you to make you feel better, like "oh, he's a jerk because you're so awesome and he secretly loves you, so don't feel bad about it."
Unless said friends actually have some information you don't - then all bets are off. But even if it's true that he secretly has a thing for you, do you really want to date someone who's immature enough to express it that way?
posted by you're a kitty! at 6:29 PM on October 6, 2009
Unless said friends actually have some information you don't - then all bets are off. But even if it's true that he secretly has a thing for you, do you really want to date someone who's immature enough to express it that way?
posted by you're a kitty! at 6:29 PM on October 6, 2009
Some really great people pretend to be jerks when they're really not, and that's their appeal. It's not always obvious to the casual observer that this is their shtick.
posted by mullingitover at 6:32 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mullingitover at 6:32 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
I really don't think it's worth caring what this jerk's intentions are. He does not treat you well, and you have continuously allowed him to do so. When you did stand up for yourself, he ran away. That tells you everything you need to know.
posted by runningwithscissors at 6:33 PM on October 6, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by runningwithscissors at 6:33 PM on October 6, 2009 [6 favorites]
Even if he has "secret feelings" for you- so what? Does that make his behavior any more attractive to you? I hope the answer is no.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:34 PM on October 6, 2009 [9 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:34 PM on October 6, 2009 [9 favorites]
It's a mystery I never got to the bottom of, but I had pretty much exactly the same situation, and I was never sure if it was just internalized misogyny or something that was making my usually sensible friends think that ol' Jerk McHotbody actually had some feelings for me. I would say to bring it up with the guy if you think he's worth it, but if he's making you feel bad and making you waste your time wondering about him, then call it off, there are plenty of sexy dudes in this world of ours.
posted by ITheCosmos at 6:35 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by ITheCosmos at 6:35 PM on October 6, 2009
Best answer: I think the logic here would be something like he feels uncomfortable with his own feelings for you. Since he doesn't want to have a relationship for whatever reason, he treats you like crap in order to push you away, so that HE doesn't become attached. Regardless of how it makes you feel. How charming!
Since he clearly can't handle this arrangmenet you have anyway, I would just stop hooking up and pretend like none of this ever happened.
posted by amethysts at 6:36 PM on October 6, 2009 [6 favorites]
Since he clearly can't handle this arrangmenet you have anyway, I would just stop hooking up and pretend like none of this ever happened.
posted by amethysts at 6:36 PM on October 6, 2009 [6 favorites]
Best answer: i think my read of this situation is somewhere between where you sit and where your friends sit. if he's really as cocky as you describe, he may be used to women developing feelings for him and demanding his attention after his romantic interludes with him. however, you are handling the same situation with grace and maturity: telling him what you're game for, but not pouting, getting angry, or otherwise giving him a higher degree of attention. my guess is the sporadic mean digs are an effort to get a rise out of you.
that he desires to get a rise out of you could indicate that he has feelings for you, or it could be just an ego/manipulation thing. when contemplating these things, i tend to be extremely cautious and when the situation looks like it could go either way, i assume the individual doesn't have feelings for me and proceed accordingly. in your case i wouldn't let either belief change how i acted around him.
posted by anthropomorphic at 6:37 PM on October 6, 2009 [5 favorites]
that he desires to get a rise out of you could indicate that he has feelings for you, or it could be just an ego/manipulation thing. when contemplating these things, i tend to be extremely cautious and when the situation looks like it could go either way, i assume the individual doesn't have feelings for me and proceed accordingly. in your case i wouldn't let either belief change how i acted around him.
posted by anthropomorphic at 6:37 PM on October 6, 2009 [5 favorites]
Afterwards, I'll communicate to him that I'm up for doing more, but essentially nothing will come of it
There's your answer. You keep expressing interest in more of a relationship, he keeps blowing it off.
Unfortunately our society still puts a bit of a stigma on women for having casual sex. My guess is your friends are indulging in a bit of fantasy because they're more comfortable with him being a secretly awesome Prince Charming, then some guy who's good in bed but kind of a jerk.
posted by drjimmy11 at 6:40 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
There's your answer. You keep expressing interest in more of a relationship, he keeps blowing it off.
Unfortunately our society still puts a bit of a stigma on women for having casual sex. My guess is your friends are indulging in a bit of fantasy because they're more comfortable with him being a secretly awesome Prince Charming, then some guy who's good in bed but kind of a jerk.
posted by drjimmy11 at 6:40 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
It seems to me like he's negging. I know a few guys that actively do that.
The alternative would be that he can't express his affection for you in a more positive manner.
If this is true, he's got emotional problems and you shouldn't make those your problem.
Pursuing a relationship solely on negative cues from the guy is most probably a bad idea. If he can only communicate his feelings by being an asshole he's not likely to stop doing that.
And anyway, he seems perfectly capable of asking for what he wants, so if he'd wanted more he'd asked for it.
There was some movie out this summer that explained situations like this quite well :)
posted by svenni at 6:51 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
The alternative would be that he can't express his affection for you in a more positive manner.
If this is true, he's got emotional problems and you shouldn't make those your problem.
Pursuing a relationship solely on negative cues from the guy is most probably a bad idea. If he can only communicate his feelings by being an asshole he's not likely to stop doing that.
And anyway, he seems perfectly capable of asking for what he wants, so if he'd wanted more he'd asked for it.
There was some movie out this summer that explained situations like this quite well :)
posted by svenni at 6:51 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
You are being a doormat.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:53 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:53 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
It sounds like your friends really want you guys to date rather than sleep together once every two months and spend the other 59 days awkwardly flirting and/or fighting. That kind of weirdness can weigh on mutual friends, and lots of social circles will wind up concocting wishful thinking scenarios ("Our friend isn't insulting other our friend because he's a jerk, it's actually because he's in love with her!") that alleviate the tension of having to see this charismatic guy in a less-than-flattering light. Also, social groups work hard to normalize extra-relationship sex so they don't have to pick through the minefield that these sticky situations present.
posted by zoomorphic at 7:05 PM on October 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by zoomorphic at 7:05 PM on October 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
He's being a jerk to get some kind of reaction from you.
If you were all over him and seeking him out and stuff, he would totally blow you off and be even more of a jerk. The fact that he has to seek you out and you´re interested but not convinced piques his interest, and his desire to get a more stronger response that you have thus given him.
Tell him off, and carry on. Continue sleeping with him if you like - sounds like you are handling the situation well. Or freak him out even more: say no.
posted by Locochona at 7:08 PM on October 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
If you were all over him and seeking him out and stuff, he would totally blow you off and be even more of a jerk. The fact that he has to seek you out and you´re interested but not convinced piques his interest, and his desire to get a more stronger response that you have thus given him.
Tell him off, and carry on. Continue sleeping with him if you like - sounds like you are handling the situation well. Or freak him out even more: say no.
posted by Locochona at 7:08 PM on October 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
Your tags contain all the answers: stop having casual sex with a disrespectful sexist.
posted by nanojath at 7:17 PM on October 6, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by nanojath at 7:17 PM on October 6, 2009 [7 favorites]
Best answer: What Locochona said.
He's trying to get under your skin. He expects that the casual sex with no follow-through will bother you, and then when it doesn't he gets annoyed and lashes out.
If you can keep it casual and enjoy it 'cause he's so cute, go for it. But don't expect any more. I don't know why you'd want any more from this guy, in any case.
posted by alms at 7:20 PM on October 6, 2009
He's trying to get under your skin. He expects that the casual sex with no follow-through will bother you, and then when it doesn't he gets annoyed and lashes out.
If you can keep it casual and enjoy it 'cause he's so cute, go for it. But don't expect any more. I don't know why you'd want any more from this guy, in any case.
posted by alms at 7:20 PM on October 6, 2009
If your friends don't know what's going on between you, perhaps they are saying these tihngs to get information out of you.
If your friends do know, perhaps he's rude to you in certain situations to make it clear that there is nothing going on.
Either way, he sounds like a cad and you should not be having a buddy relationship with someone if you are "up for doing more."
posted by Lesser Shrew at 8:03 PM on October 6, 2009
If your friends do know, perhaps he's rude to you in certain situations to make it clear that there is nothing going on.
Either way, he sounds like a cad and you should not be having a buddy relationship with someone if you are "up for doing more."
posted by Lesser Shrew at 8:03 PM on October 6, 2009
Apart from you being a doormat--you are, it happens when someone gives you a raging boner--it's possible he's doing what I do: feelings are developing, so he gets prickly to push you away and keep himself emotionally safe.
That being said, you're being a doormat. Seek better. Less cute + more caring beats hot asshole every day of the week. The sex is better, too.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:06 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
That being said, you're being a doormat. Seek better. Less cute + more caring beats hot asshole every day of the week. The sex is better, too.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:06 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
additionally: you're not being a doormat. you have a low-key casual sex relationship that, while you would be willing for it to be more, you are satisfied with. if this situation were gender-reversed, i don't think you would be getting these responses. ugh.
posted by anthropomorphic at 8:18 PM on October 6, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by anthropomorphic at 8:18 PM on October 6, 2009 [4 favorites]
I wasn't impressed with the terms of his proposition but I went along with it.
You were a million more times impressed with the terms of his proposition than you are admitting here.
He played you masterfully.
posted by jayder at 9:11 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
You were a million more times impressed with the terms of his proposition than you are admitting here.
He played you masterfully.
posted by jayder at 9:11 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
Best answer: You're allowed to have casual sex with whomever you want to. That said, I do see a pattern in how he treats you around sexual interactions (it's on his terms, when he offers you typically accept, when you offer he doesn't accept --> he has the power there) and nonsexual interactions (he gets to disrespect you while you continue to hang out with him, and continues to disrespect you when you bring it up to him). As long as you are aware of this dynamic, and recognize him for what he is, I am of the opinion that it's totally fine to consent to being a part of it. But he will continue to treat you like shit. Like someone said above, unless your friends know something you don't, I doubt that he has secret feelings for you. Even if he did, it's sort of irrelevant, because most people wouldn't be interested in a non-casual relationship where this kind of power play and disrespect are the theme (and yes, they would be if this ever moves past NSA).
posted by emilyd22222 at 9:18 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by emilyd22222 at 9:18 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
if this situation were gender-reversed, i don't think you would be getting these responses. ugh.
Boy howdy are you incredibly wrong there. She's having casual sex with a guy. Great! She's having casual sex with a guy who insults and belittles her. Not so great. Sitting and taking that crap in the apparent hope of something more developing one day is the very definition of 'doormat', and I would say the same no matter the relevant genders.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:38 PM on October 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
Boy howdy are you incredibly wrong there. She's having casual sex with a guy. Great! She's having casual sex with a guy who insults and belittles her. Not so great. Sitting and taking that crap in the apparent hope of something more developing one day is the very definition of 'doormat', and I would say the same no matter the relevant genders.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:38 PM on October 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
> Everyone else seems to really enjoy his company and has never had any problems with him.
>hinting or outright stating that he's trying to insult me.
This is probably part of his Girl-Handling Shtick.
Since you seem to be pretty good at keeping things cool and low-key with him, he's probably classified you as a hard case, one needing strong stimulus.
He may well be reasoning that rude behavior got you... and that rude behavior is keeping you around... and that he has to periodically escalate the rude behavior to keep you from getting bored and drop-kicking him out of the picture.
Does he Like You Like You? Does he want a deeper or more regular relationship?
Hard to say.
Bear in mind, though, that it seems like you two already have an ongoing relationship, of sorts-- it's just one that plays out along a very elongated timeline.
posted by darth_tedious at 9:44 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
>hinting or outright stating that he's trying to insult me.
This is probably part of his Girl-Handling Shtick.
Since you seem to be pretty good at keeping things cool and low-key with him, he's probably classified you as a hard case, one needing strong stimulus.
He may well be reasoning that rude behavior got you... and that rude behavior is keeping you around... and that he has to periodically escalate the rude behavior to keep you from getting bored and drop-kicking him out of the picture.
Does he Like You Like You? Does he want a deeper or more regular relationship?
Hard to say.
Bear in mind, though, that it seems like you two already have an ongoing relationship, of sorts-- it's just one that plays out along a very elongated timeline.
posted by darth_tedious at 9:44 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: all of the replies have been pretty awesome and have given me a lot to think about! naturally, i have never considered the possibility of a relationship with this person, nor would i start to. i've wanted him to understand this, and thought he had gotten the idea already, which is why i find it absurd that he feels he needs to go out of his way to show his disinterest. it would also be absurd to think he likes me, but i see that there is some kind of twisted logic at play there too. whatever's going on, in the end, i would love for us just to be friends and to put all this behind us. seeing as how we see each other so much, i'm still trying to figure out how to get us there...yet at the same time, I have a lot of resentment about the ugly behavior he's displayed and i worry this has permanently ruined my ability to enjoy spending time with him.
posted by afabulousbeing at 9:49 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by afabulousbeing at 9:49 PM on October 6, 2009
you are engagin in no-strings activity, but you have a lot of expectation. your friends don't know any of the inticacies of your interaction, much less anyone on here.
if you cant talk to him about his feelings, then things arent going to get far. you think he is a a-hole with a madonna whore complex. from your post, to be honest, we cant tell if you like the insults or not. does it make the meaning less sex better? he might think so.
posted by edtut at 10:19 PM on October 6, 2009
if you cant talk to him about his feelings, then things arent going to get far. you think he is a a-hole with a madonna whore complex. from your post, to be honest, we cant tell if you like the insults or not. does it make the meaning less sex better? he might think so.
posted by edtut at 10:19 PM on October 6, 2009
He only calls you when he's sporting an unoccupied boner. You're the one who says yes to the invitation. I can see how he might be in a place where he doesn't give you any respect.
I don't think your friends are making sense. In my adult experience, a man who likesyoulikesyou won't act like a scrotum when you talk to him.
posted by Sallyfur at 10:20 PM on October 6, 2009
I don't think your friends are making sense. In my adult experience, a man who likesyoulikesyou won't act like a scrotum when you talk to him.
posted by Sallyfur at 10:20 PM on October 6, 2009
"Maybe once every two months out of the blue he expresses interest in hooking up. I'll express some reluctance to do it but since I'm not emotionally invested and I find him so attractive, I'll agree. Afterwards, I'll communicate to him that I'm up for doing more"
What's that "afterwards" bit about? I mean, what's it really about? I ask because this question, plus a few of your previous questions, suggest to me that you're probably kidding yourself with how you deal with relationships. You probably aren't even aware that you do this.
I get the feeling you say you're cool with just having sex, but really, you do this because you want something more. Please don't do that. It'll just lead to you feeling used. If you're up for casual sex, enjoy the sex, but if you really want something more from this guy (or any guy you have sex with), sex is the wrong way to get it. You'll end up feeling used and hurt.
"while I'm not usually a practioner of casual sex, a very smart, attractive, and cocky guy I see on a regular basis came onto me but explained that he preferred there be no expectations of any sort. I wasn't impressed with the terms of his proposition but I went along with it."
I smell a pattern here. You're not really interested, but...
"Since then, something of a pattern has been established. Maybe once every two months out of the blue he expresses interest in hooking up. I'll express some reluctance to do it but since I'm not emotionally invested and I find him so attractive, I'll agree."
I think this guy just wants to have sex with you, and he probably says mean things because he doesn't want you to fall for him, or maybe because you two have a deal where you're just fucking, but you keep trying to change the deal and turn it into something more.
Sounds to me like he's a jerk, and you deserve better... but it also sounds like you're not emotionally ready for the casual situation you've gotten yourself into.
My apologies if that was at all harsh. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't think I'd be doing you any favor by not pointing out what sure looks like a clear pattern here. Best of luck figuring it all out.
posted by 2oh1 at 10:21 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
What's that "afterwards" bit about? I mean, what's it really about? I ask because this question, plus a few of your previous questions, suggest to me that you're probably kidding yourself with how you deal with relationships. You probably aren't even aware that you do this.
I get the feeling you say you're cool with just having sex, but really, you do this because you want something more. Please don't do that. It'll just lead to you feeling used. If you're up for casual sex, enjoy the sex, but if you really want something more from this guy (or any guy you have sex with), sex is the wrong way to get it. You'll end up feeling used and hurt.
"while I'm not usually a practioner of casual sex, a very smart, attractive, and cocky guy I see on a regular basis came onto me but explained that he preferred there be no expectations of any sort. I wasn't impressed with the terms of his proposition but I went along with it."
I smell a pattern here. You're not really interested, but...
"Since then, something of a pattern has been established. Maybe once every two months out of the blue he expresses interest in hooking up. I'll express some reluctance to do it but since I'm not emotionally invested and I find him so attractive, I'll agree."
I think this guy just wants to have sex with you, and he probably says mean things because he doesn't want you to fall for him, or maybe because you two have a deal where you're just fucking, but you keep trying to change the deal and turn it into something more.
Sounds to me like he's a jerk, and you deserve better... but it also sounds like you're not emotionally ready for the casual situation you've gotten yourself into.
My apologies if that was at all harsh. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't think I'd be doing you any favor by not pointing out what sure looks like a clear pattern here. Best of luck figuring it all out.
posted by 2oh1 at 10:21 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
"he feels he needs to go out of his way to show his disinterest"
Maybe your friends are strongly suggesting to him that you guys should get into a realtionship. Like what they are doing to you. So he, not liking the idea, overcompensates and tries to treat you with disrespect as much as possible.
posted by moiraine at 5:22 AM on October 7, 2009
Maybe your friends are strongly suggesting to him that you guys should get into a realtionship. Like what they are doing to you. So he, not liking the idea, overcompensates and tries to treat you with disrespect as much as possible.
posted by moiraine at 5:22 AM on October 7, 2009
Consider the possibility that he thinks you're great but he's jealous that he and others think you're great (and he isn't). So he puts you down out of resentment. This is not an attitude or a behavior that's likely to change. Take it or leave it (him).
posted by RichardS at 5:55 AM on October 7, 2009
posted by RichardS at 5:55 AM on October 7, 2009
Best answer: in the end, i would love for us just to be friends and to put all this behind us. seeing as how we see each other so much, i'm still trying to figure out how to get us there...yet at the same time, I have a lot of resentment about the ugly behavior he's displayed and i worry this has permanently ruined my ability to enjoy spending time with him.
Again, I want to point out that you're really worried about making this all ok. I know it doesn't seem like it (and seriously, I have so, so been there), but you don't have to fix this. He is the one being a jerk, and he should be the one concerned about how to act around you. You didn't do anything wrong, so you shouldn't be anxious about this. Be polite. That's all you need to do to be the gracious one here. You can be angry about his behavior for a while -- that's fine, and I'd be concerned if you weren't upset. But this will fade, really it will. And it starts by standing up for yourself, cutting him off, and not feeling like you owe him or the situation anything.
posted by runningwithscissors at 8:37 AM on October 7, 2009 [1 favorite]
Again, I want to point out that you're really worried about making this all ok. I know it doesn't seem like it (and seriously, I have so, so been there), but you don't have to fix this. He is the one being a jerk, and he should be the one concerned about how to act around you. You didn't do anything wrong, so you shouldn't be anxious about this. Be polite. That's all you need to do to be the gracious one here. You can be angry about his behavior for a while -- that's fine, and I'd be concerned if you weren't upset. But this will fade, really it will. And it starts by standing up for yourself, cutting him off, and not feeling like you owe him or the situation anything.
posted by runningwithscissors at 8:37 AM on October 7, 2009 [1 favorite]
I found the link to reaction formation from another Mefi question and it described a situation very similar to yours. Not really helpful in terms of "what do I do now", but it does give a possible reason for your friends' remarks.
posted by divabat at 2:54 AM on October 8, 2009
posted by divabat at 2:54 AM on October 8, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by ishotjr at 6:28 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]