What to get a 12 year old?
October 10, 2008 4:47 PM Subscribe
What should I get my niece for her 12th birthday? Weird family details inside.
My niece is my half sister's daughter. My half sister and I did not grow up together, and haven't even seen each other in over 10 years, though I vaguely remember speaking to her on the phone at Christmas a few years ago. Other than that, we have had no contact, but I get updates on her from my parents.
With that in mind, I'm not sure what would be appropriate to get my niece for her birthday. I've never given her a gift before (and obviously haven't seen her for most of her life). $20 in a card, something with Hannah Montana on it (do kids still like her?), or something else?
My niece is my half sister's daughter. My half sister and I did not grow up together, and haven't even seen each other in over 10 years, though I vaguely remember speaking to her on the phone at Christmas a few years ago. Other than that, we have had no contact, but I get updates on her from my parents.
With that in mind, I'm not sure what would be appropriate to get my niece for her birthday. I've never given her a gift before (and obviously haven't seen her for most of her life). $20 in a card, something with Hannah Montana on it (do kids still like her?), or something else?
I think it would help if we knew why you need to give her a gift now.
posted by awesomebrad at 4:58 PM on October 10, 2008
posted by awesomebrad at 4:58 PM on October 10, 2008
Response by poster: Um, you know, not sure why I all of a sudden decided to give her a gift. My mom mentioned her birthday was coming up this month, and I just thought it would be nice. *shrugs* I would like to start being a better aunt, I suppose.
posted by All.star at 5:00 PM on October 10, 2008
posted by All.star at 5:00 PM on October 10, 2008
I have an 11 year old daughter. I'd suggest a Aeropostle or Target gift card, or any of the popular "teen" stores. When I have to buy a birthday gift for any of my daughter's friends, I try to get a little purse or something like that and then tuck a gift card into it.
Alternatively, take her for a movie and lunch or shopping and lunch. Just set price limits ahead of time, the stores they like can be pricey.
And in 6th grade (according to my daughter) Hannah Montana is "out".
posted by sisflit at 5:05 PM on October 10, 2008
Alternatively, take her for a movie and lunch or shopping and lunch. Just set price limits ahead of time, the stores they like can be pricey.
And in 6th grade (according to my daughter) Hannah Montana is "out".
posted by sisflit at 5:05 PM on October 10, 2008
Response by poster: Alternatively, take her for a movie and lunch or shopping and lunch.
I should mention I live in another state, so actually seeing her or taking her somewhere is out.
posted by All.star at 5:06 PM on October 10, 2008
I should mention I live in another state, so actually seeing her or taking her somewhere is out.
posted by All.star at 5:06 PM on October 10, 2008
$20 and a card is a great idea. Maybe ask for a recent photograph-- that'll make her and your half sister both feel good.
posted by jamjam at 5:10 PM on October 10, 2008
posted by jamjam at 5:10 PM on October 10, 2008
The thing about kids is that consistency is key, so if you do it this year, I'd try to make a point to keep doing it. If that means setting the bar low so you can do it every year, so be it. But yeah, $20 of something and a card sounds good.
posted by salvia at 5:13 PM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by salvia at 5:13 PM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite]
I would not give a gift card to start a relationship. I would give her something that you would have wanted at 12 and a note that says you didn't really know what to get her, you hope she likes it, and you would be glad to take her to exchange it if she does not.
You could also ask a few other family members what she likes - animals, books, gaming - and try to map something from that area to your 12-year old self.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 5:19 PM on October 10, 2008
You could also ask a few other family members what she likes - animals, books, gaming - and try to map something from that area to your 12-year old self.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 5:19 PM on October 10, 2008
With a few nieces and niece-like cousins, I can guarantee this will be appreciated - particularly if you keep up the tradition. Mysterious and thoughtful aunts are more rare than I'd thought, apparently.
Since you don't know her that well, a stuffed animal associated with something that may mean something to the family or even something that represents your own interests cuddled up with a gift card and a kind birthday card will go far. Send a happy pic of yourself and any other family members (even pets) you're more closely associated with. And maybe a contact card with other ways to reach you, in case she'd like to be in closer contact?
Some good gift cards for that age group:
Claire's and the like = always popular.
Sanrio stores
Music/video stores (brick & mortar or otherwise)
Bookstores
Bath & Body Works & similar
Target
With mine, I sometimes throw in a tiny questionnaire and a SASE for them to fill out and mail back. Basic stuff like favourite colours, food & drink, animals, flowers, etc. if it's been a while since I've last checked in.
Have fun!
posted by batmonkey at 5:33 PM on October 10, 2008
Since you don't know her that well, a stuffed animal associated with something that may mean something to the family or even something that represents your own interests cuddled up with a gift card and a kind birthday card will go far. Send a happy pic of yourself and any other family members (even pets) you're more closely associated with. And maybe a contact card with other ways to reach you, in case she'd like to be in closer contact?
Some good gift cards for that age group:
Claire's and the like = always popular.
Sanrio stores
Music/video stores (brick & mortar or otherwise)
Bookstores
Bath & Body Works & similar
Target
With mine, I sometimes throw in a tiny questionnaire and a SASE for them to fill out and mail back. Basic stuff like favourite colours, food & drink, animals, flowers, etc. if it's been a while since I've last checked in.
Have fun!
posted by batmonkey at 5:33 PM on October 10, 2008
You could get her a $20 itunes giftcard, and in a note suggest some of your favorite songs from when you were her age or from now, even.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:09 PM on October 10, 2008
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:09 PM on October 10, 2008
Gift cards are made for these situations, but they're a bit impersonal.
My own experience with young-cousins-I've-never-met is that odd little bits from abroad go a long way. When I was in Prague, my mom reminded me via e-mail that my cousin was having her 13th birthday. I hadn't seen her since she was 2, but I was in the museum gift shop and picked up a cheap (7$ US) necklace with a small amber stone and mailed it from Prague.
Apparently, she adored it and wore it for the next 2 years until it wasn't cool anymore, but the Mysterious Gift from Overseas was a big hit. You might consider jewelry to personal (or her mother might, I'm not sure) but something along those lines would go over well.
Good luck!
posted by The Whelk at 6:46 PM on October 10, 2008
My own experience with young-cousins-I've-never-met is that odd little bits from abroad go a long way. When I was in Prague, my mom reminded me via e-mail that my cousin was having her 13th birthday. I hadn't seen her since she was 2, but I was in the museum gift shop and picked up a cheap (7$ US) necklace with a small amber stone and mailed it from Prague.
Apparently, she adored it and wore it for the next 2 years until it wasn't cool anymore, but the Mysterious Gift from Overseas was a big hit. You might consider jewelry to personal (or her mother might, I'm not sure) but something along those lines would go over well.
Good luck!
posted by The Whelk at 6:46 PM on October 10, 2008
Or, if she lives in a totally different region, something small that's a local specialty.
posted by The Whelk at 6:50 PM on October 10, 2008
posted by The Whelk at 6:50 PM on October 10, 2008
-comment got cut off-odd.
I always like it when my distant Quebecois relatives remember to send my mother a small bottle of decent local syrup. Not huge, but the thought goes a long way.
posted by The Whelk at 6:51 PM on October 10, 2008
I always like it when my distant Quebecois relatives remember to send my mother a small bottle of decent local syrup. Not huge, but the thought goes a long way.
posted by The Whelk at 6:51 PM on October 10, 2008
I think it's never too late to reach out. Whatever you decide to send, it's a great gesture. A gift card wouldn't be a bad idea...and hopefully this will open the door to more correspondence, by her birthday next year you may have a better idea for something more personal.
posted by kattyann at 9:52 PM on October 10, 2008
posted by kattyann at 9:52 PM on October 10, 2008
For years, I got $20 gift certificates to Borders from an aunt who I actually was semi-close to. Freakin'. Loved. Those things. My voracious-reader self could stretch 'em like anything, too. Gift cards aren't so impersonal she won't love having twenty bucks to play with :)
posted by kalimac at 11:47 PM on October 10, 2008
posted by kalimac at 11:47 PM on October 10, 2008
When they turned twelve, I gave my sororal twin cousins copies of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, which had been my favorite book when I was their age.
posted by brujita at 12:17 AM on October 11, 2008
posted by brujita at 12:17 AM on October 11, 2008
I recently bought my cousin, aged ten, whom I rarely see, a small handmade shoulder bag from etsy, embroidered with a dolphin. My rationale was that young girls like bags, but then I do know my cousin is quite interested in fashion so thought it would be relaltively safe. Going with handmade seemed safer than trying to guess what's fashionable and getting it wrong. I also put a notebook in the bag. You could consider putting an Alchemy request on etsy asking people to suggest handmade things your niece might like.
posted by paduasoy at 5:40 AM on October 11, 2008
posted by paduasoy at 5:40 AM on October 11, 2008
I think $20 cash or a non-specific gift card is your best bet. First of all, kids are so picky at that age that if you guess, you'll probably get it wrong.
Second of all, twelve year olds don't get a lot of autonomy and usually don't have a lot of money at their disposal. Cash or gift cards may be too impersonal for an adult, who can plunk down $20 for an indulgence whenever he or she wants; but for a pre-teen who is probably still getting talked down to a lot and lives off allowance money, cash or a gift card says "hey, I think you can pick out something you like." Which will be appreciated.
If you're really concerned about being too impersonal, pick out a nice card (nothing juvenile) and write something nice about how you'd like to know how she's doing, etc.
posted by AV at 9:01 AM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
Second of all, twelve year olds don't get a lot of autonomy and usually don't have a lot of money at their disposal. Cash or gift cards may be too impersonal for an adult, who can plunk down $20 for an indulgence whenever he or she wants; but for a pre-teen who is probably still getting talked down to a lot and lives off allowance money, cash or a gift card says "hey, I think you can pick out something you like." Which will be appreciated.
If you're really concerned about being too impersonal, pick out a nice card (nothing juvenile) and write something nice about how you'd like to know how she's doing, etc.
posted by AV at 9:01 AM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]
I would also add the gift card is the best option (and can by very thoughtful). Unless you know her well, it would be very easy to purchase something she wouldn't care for. Kids at this age love gift cards because it gives them choice.
My 12 year old step-son would prefer every gift in cards. So the things we purchase are mainly things we think expand his view (which can be tricky to get right), otherwise it's cards all the way.
posted by pokeedog at 9:37 AM on October 11, 2008
My 12 year old step-son would prefer every gift in cards. So the things we purchase are mainly things we think expand his view (which can be tricky to get right), otherwise it's cards all the way.
posted by pokeedog at 9:37 AM on October 11, 2008
Even though I agree that gift cards are a tad impersonal and a bit of a cop-out, as a kid I would've dearly loved to have every single birthday and Christmas present be a bookstore or a music store gift card. I mean, sure, the stuffed animals were nice, and yeah, my mom had (and still has) a sense of fashion far superior to my own, but the thing I really, truly loved were books and music, and those are two things that can't be picked out as a gift. A gift card would've been the next best thing, but I never actually ended up being able to buy books and CDs for myself until I got my first job.
So in this case, since you don't know her much otherwise, a gift card is definitely a good choice.
posted by Phire at 10:19 AM on October 11, 2008
So in this case, since you don't know her much otherwise, a gift card is definitely a good choice.
posted by Phire at 10:19 AM on October 11, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by nadawi at 4:57 PM on October 10, 2008