Let's Party! (But... Uh... Could you show me how first?)
December 22, 2010 8:45 AM Subscribe
Help me throw myself my first real birthday party.
posted by anonymous to human relations (35 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
Alright. This is really embarassing.
I need to throw myself a birthday party because I haven't had a birthday party in years. I'm turning 23. We're talking more than a decade of disastrous birthdays here. I know this is silly. I know this is kind of pathetic because it's just a birthday. But I cannot tell you how much having one successful birthday will mean to me.
Rather than dwell on the negative, I've decided to be determined to have a successful party so I can be a normal human being and enjoy the fact that I have friends who love me enough to spend time with me on this lovely day. My plan is to have a birthday dinner out at a really nice restaurant, and I've invited about 20 people I love very much because I figure at least some will be able to make it and that should be great. I'm even willing to foot half the final bill to make this all work.
The thing is that I have no idea what I'm doing and what will happen the day of the party. Last year I tried this very scenario and so many people bailed at the last minute, didn't even call, or completely blew me off that I just panicked and canceled everything because I was so, so depressed about not being cool enough to some of my friends to even have them celebrate my birthday. Now I have this overwhelming fear that the same thing is going to happen again and that I'm going to spend the entire damn day being sad about the people who can't come than being happy that I have friends who can, will, and are spending the evening with me. I feel weird enough about having people come to something that's just for me in general, you know? Like... Why are we focusing just on me? Do I even deserve this? Do I not understand how birthdays work? Augh.
What can do to help myself prepare for my first real birthday? What will make me a pleasant hostess? How can I navigate the commingling of my many separate social groups? What makes for a really good birthday party, and are there things I can incorporate now that a time and a place have been set? Tell me about the best birthday dinners you've been to and why they were good. :)
Another thing I sort of need to work out is my disappointment about never having had a surprise party. My the three people I would call my best friends are always throwing birthday parties for each other, but they've never made the effort for me. This doesn't diminish their best-friend-ness, but it sure does sting. How can I stop feeling bitter about this so that I can just have a stinkin' party?
(Just to give you an example re: the anxiety... I've already sent out invitations on Facebook and 10 people have actually RSVP'd YES and I want to throw up, either with joy or total terror. Yes, I go to therapy. Yes, I thought I'd worked through this. Yes, I still need your help.)