Diabetes, you are not invited to my pizza party
July 11, 2008 6:12 PM Subscribe
I want to be fit, but I loathe "fitness." I want to lose weight, but I become so angry at the whole concept of being another woman on a diet. How can I reconcile my anger with my genuine need to be healthy?
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (42 answers total) 62 users marked this as a favorite
I am a second-generation nerd, and I have a lot of the same body issues as many of you, I expect. I was raised by kindly, bookish people, and from my earliest experience, sports and fitness were only pushed on me by rough, uncaring, incurious authority figures. Physical activity was for boring, loud people who were impatient with my many shortcomings at the strange games no one had ever taught me. The smart, gentle people who were interested in me sat inside in the quiet, and never broke a sweat if they didn't have to. I was a grown woman before I glimpsed the possibilities of a deep, healthy enjoyment of your own body.
As for dieting, I have a truckload of issues that I'll just send around to the delivery entrance. Suffice it to say that I was put on a popular adults' diet at age eight, and it made me a food-hoarder and secret eater. As a feminist, I demand to eat. I love food and I am not sorry. I bitterly resent the way that diet writers speak to me. (The only exception has been the Hackers' Diet, and it is no coincidence that it was written for men. It's not very sophisticated as a diet, though.) It is very easy, when I'm craving sweets, to blame the patriarchy and have a Three Musketeers.
But. I want to do the right thing for my heart. I do not want diabetes -- it runs in my family and I do not want to let myself get it. I don't want to let this abdominal fat damage my long-term prospects for, well, having a long term. And I, not the people in my past, am ultimately responsible for my health, and for moving my own flat white ass.
How do you fight the resentment? How do you get over choking on the voice that says fuck you I'm not in second grade anymore and you're no better than me whenever you go to the gym? How do you diet with a full respect for yourself?