Is that grass really greener?
July 9, 2008 4:34 AM Subscribe
Job dilemma. I just started job A in a field I have no passion for and I'm miserable. Do I do a u-turn and ask about the offer I previously rejected?
A while ago I asked this question:
I took the sensible option and went for the good job with big wage hike. The people are nice, the place is gorgeous and historic, the structure is robust, the benefits are great. And I've never felt so uninspired.
I don't regret turning down job B, but after that whole decision was made, another offer came, for a job that wasn't even advertised, with a third organisation who were previously my dream employers (big natural history museum). They got in touch and offered me a job similar to the rejected one, but way cooler on a two-year contract with the intention of becoming permanent. I despaired and in the end after much soul-searching, I felt I had to turn them down, job A seeming like the most practical option in these recession be-dimmed times. They were dissappointed and told me to get in touch if job A didn't work out.
I've only been in the new job for a few days but feel like I made a mistake, and I don't know how to deal with it. I want to get back in touch with dream employer to see if Job C is still open, but only if I'm sure I want to take it so as not to mess them around in any way. But is it madness to take a $20K wage drop, suck up the lengthy and painful commute and difficult management structure to work on Job C with no guarantee of permanent status, just because I'm crazy about the work they do?
Or do i stick with job A, which is considerably saner as an institute, (but rather conservative with content I find dull), because it affords me greater time, headspace and financial resource for a life outside work, (including, ironically, be able to continue my part-time degree in a science subject deeply relevant to job C but completely unrelated to Job A).
My sensible head is telling me to stick out job A for at least three months to see whether or not I'll fit in and grow to enjoy the work, but my fear is that it's a long shot and by the time I'm fully done it will be too late for job C. Should I stop fantasising and just get on with the job I accepted like a proper grown up, or do I take advantage of the current situation (I'm early 30s, renting, no debt or dependents) and go for broke? Or is there a third option I'm not aware of?
As I've already driven friends and family mad with the first decison, I'm turning to you lovely people for further perspective!
A while ago I asked this question:
I took the sensible option and went for the good job with big wage hike. The people are nice, the place is gorgeous and historic, the structure is robust, the benefits are great. And I've never felt so uninspired.
I don't regret turning down job B, but after that whole decision was made, another offer came, for a job that wasn't even advertised, with a third organisation who were previously my dream employers (big natural history museum). They got in touch and offered me a job similar to the rejected one, but way cooler on a two-year contract with the intention of becoming permanent. I despaired and in the end after much soul-searching, I felt I had to turn them down, job A seeming like the most practical option in these recession be-dimmed times. They were dissappointed and told me to get in touch if job A didn't work out.
I've only been in the new job for a few days but feel like I made a mistake, and I don't know how to deal with it. I want to get back in touch with dream employer to see if Job C is still open, but only if I'm sure I want to take it so as not to mess them around in any way. But is it madness to take a $20K wage drop, suck up the lengthy and painful commute and difficult management structure to work on Job C with no guarantee of permanent status, just because I'm crazy about the work they do?
Or do i stick with job A, which is considerably saner as an institute, (but rather conservative with content I find dull), because it affords me greater time, headspace and financial resource for a life outside work, (including, ironically, be able to continue my part-time degree in a science subject deeply relevant to job C but completely unrelated to Job A).
My sensible head is telling me to stick out job A for at least three months to see whether or not I'll fit in and grow to enjoy the work, but my fear is that it's a long shot and by the time I'm fully done it will be too late for job C. Should I stop fantasising and just get on with the job I accepted like a proper grown up, or do I take advantage of the current situation (I'm early 30s, renting, no debt or dependents) and go for broke? Or is there a third option I'm not aware of?
As I've already driven friends and family mad with the first decison, I'm turning to you lovely people for further perspective!
I would go with sticking with job A. Grass is always greener; by the time youve given up all job A offers you are putting a lot of expectations on job c. Since you already acknowledge job c is less sane as an institution, has a long commute, and difficult management structure, I really dont see you being happy with a decision to drop A. The only pro is job c seems to intellectually interest you more, and A affords you the opportunity to pursue a part-time degree in that area of interest. I got news: workin in an area of interest just ain't the same as studying that area.
posted by norabarnacl3 at 5:07 AM on July 9, 2008
posted by norabarnacl3 at 5:07 AM on July 9, 2008
A. The commute, the pay cut, loss of time. A all the way. Let it go.
posted by cashman at 6:29 AM on July 9, 2008
posted by cashman at 6:29 AM on July 9, 2008
(I'm early 30s, renting, no debt or dependents)
Go with your passion. If you love it as much as you say you do, you'll rock that place. Run like the wind.
As much as it pains me to say it, if I could absorb a 20K pay cut, I'd be on a fast train out of my current position so I feel your pain. I have a kid, wife, mortgage, etc., so I haven't much ability to move yet. You do. Twenty K is a small price to pay for personal fulfillment, happiness and the very real possibility that you could make up the difference as you advance, doing what you love.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:46 AM on July 9, 2008
Go with your passion. If you love it as much as you say you do, you'll rock that place. Run like the wind.
As much as it pains me to say it, if I could absorb a 20K pay cut, I'd be on a fast train out of my current position so I feel your pain. I have a kid, wife, mortgage, etc., so I haven't much ability to move yet. You do. Twenty K is a small price to pay for personal fulfillment, happiness and the very real possibility that you could make up the difference as you advance, doing what you love.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:46 AM on July 9, 2008
Any option to move closer to the dream job? If you're only renting then can't you stop renting the place you have now when your lease is up and rent one nearer? I'd say go for dream job but I know the pain of a painful commute too. Why not make the painful commute a short term thing whilst pursuing your dream? And in your situation I'd take the pay cut in a heartbeat.
posted by merocet at 7:03 AM on July 9, 2008
posted by merocet at 7:03 AM on July 9, 2008
But is it madness to take a $20K wage drop, suck up the lengthy and painful commute and difficult management structure to work on Job C with no guarantee of permanent status, just because I'm crazy about the work they do?
It might be madness, but I recommend chasing that madness, now.
The fact you're young and unattached and not yet in debt is what makes it possible. Old cranky people who are locked into debt or other situations can be cold and practical. In fact, they pretty much have to be, which is probably why they're cranky.
You need to at least try to do what your heart says, instead of giving up in advance. You'll never be better equipped for it.
posted by rokusan at 7:16 AM on July 9, 2008
It might be madness, but I recommend chasing that madness, now.
The fact you're young and unattached and not yet in debt is what makes it possible. Old cranky people who are locked into debt or other situations can be cold and practical. In fact, they pretty much have to be, which is probably why they're cranky.
You need to at least try to do what your heart says, instead of giving up in advance. You'll never be better equipped for it.
posted by rokusan at 7:16 AM on July 9, 2008
Best answer: In my experience, every job has completely sucked for at least the first month. It just takes a while to get into the groove. One job I had made me miserable for a full six months before I finally got the hang of things, and then I ended up absolutely loving it there, and had a very positive experience overall. It was totally worth getting through the first six months.
Job A might be the wrong job for you, but I don't think you can figure that out in a few days.
posted by Tren at 8:33 AM on July 9, 2008 [1 favorite]
Job A might be the wrong job for you, but I don't think you can figure that out in a few days.
posted by Tren at 8:33 AM on July 9, 2008 [1 favorite]
Sounds like you've got some greener grass aspirations...
But I'd say, follow the bliss - if you're uninspired, you'll get resentful and end up just hating your current gig. If opportunity C is still available, go for it. Negotiate for accommodations for the commute, if possible (salary bump, flexible schedule, etc). But as always, don't put in your notice until everything is sorted with the new place. Best of luck.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 8:35 AM on July 9, 2008
But I'd say, follow the bliss - if you're uninspired, you'll get resentful and end up just hating your current gig. If opportunity C is still available, go for it. Negotiate for accommodations for the commute, if possible (salary bump, flexible schedule, etc). But as always, don't put in your notice until everything is sorted with the new place. Best of luck.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 8:35 AM on July 9, 2008
Disclaimer: I can't seem to follow that advice myself though, I've just committed to another year of study in a field I'm becoming more and more dispassionate about after I was offered a substantially increased stipend and some more recognition. So, I'm probably projecting. Though, at the same time, I've though and read a lot about this too, and my biggest problem is that I don't have a passion I can effectively pursue (i have dreams, but they seem out of reach).
I think you should go ahead and do what is most fulfilling rather than what is (supposedly) the most practical.
You talk about madness, staying in an unfulfilling job seems like madness to me. Long commutes are things that can be fixed with either public transportation or a move. Difficult management structures...well that's another story, and i don't know what to say about that. So really, by staying with A it seems that you are saying your price is $20k/year and reduced bureaucracy. Is that really true?
I don't think "the grass is always greener" applies here (I've always hated this saying anyway. i think it's used or abused too often to prevent people from gaining new experiences and keeping them on "safe" route. It keeps people down and "in their place", stifles dreams, etc. etc.) You seem to have a grasp on the negatives involved with C. Also, it's not as though you are viewing people doing C and saying, "gee their life seems great". You are saying that the work that you could do with C is something that you know you are "crazy" about.
Another way to look at this might be asking what is the WORST CASE SCENARIO with going to C, and then asking how likely that worst case really is. Chances are its A) not as bad as you imagine and B) not very likely to happen.
Best of luck to you.
posted by NormandyJack at 8:48 AM on July 9, 2008
I think you should go ahead and do what is most fulfilling rather than what is (supposedly) the most practical.
You talk about madness, staying in an unfulfilling job seems like madness to me. Long commutes are things that can be fixed with either public transportation or a move. Difficult management structures...well that's another story, and i don't know what to say about that. So really, by staying with A it seems that you are saying your price is $20k/year and reduced bureaucracy. Is that really true?
I don't think "the grass is always greener" applies here (I've always hated this saying anyway. i think it's used or abused too often to prevent people from gaining new experiences and keeping them on "safe" route. It keeps people down and "in their place", stifles dreams, etc. etc.) You seem to have a grasp on the negatives involved with C. Also, it's not as though you are viewing people doing C and saying, "gee their life seems great". You are saying that the work that you could do with C is something that you know you are "crazy" about.
Another way to look at this might be asking what is the WORST CASE SCENARIO with going to C, and then asking how likely that worst case really is. Chances are its A) not as bad as you imagine and B) not very likely to happen.
Best of luck to you.
posted by NormandyJack at 8:48 AM on July 9, 2008
There's a reason why jobs are called "jobs." Even the most fun jobs are still work. You can get some reading done on long commutes if it's by train, but it's still a long commute.
The purpose of work is to provide money for the rest of your life, not to BE your life. Keep the job that pays better and will take less time out of your day. Concentrate on saving for your house, your kids, your retirement, and make sure to enjoy your life outside of work.
Don't be another disillusioned sucker falling for the "fulfillment within work" routine. It's great if you can get it, but having a lot of fun, friends, family, and happiness is more important. The folks who work a ton are inevitably known as "workaholics."
Besides, with the extra pay and less time taken up, you can do stuff that's REALLY fun like a martial art, or rock climbing, or whatever hobby you might enjoy. The real comparison is not Job A versus Job C, it's Job A + awesome hobby versus Job C + long commute.
posted by explosion at 11:35 AM on July 9, 2008
The purpose of work is to provide money for the rest of your life, not to BE your life. Keep the job that pays better and will take less time out of your day. Concentrate on saving for your house, your kids, your retirement, and make sure to enjoy your life outside of work.
Don't be another disillusioned sucker falling for the "fulfillment within work" routine. It's great if you can get it, but having a lot of fun, friends, family, and happiness is more important. The folks who work a ton are inevitably known as "workaholics."
Besides, with the extra pay and less time taken up, you can do stuff that's REALLY fun like a martial art, or rock climbing, or whatever hobby you might enjoy. The real comparison is not Job A versus Job C, it's Job A + awesome hobby versus Job C + long commute.
posted by explosion at 11:35 AM on July 9, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
Nobody has their stellar resume engraved on their tombstone.
posted by paulsc at 4:49 AM on July 9, 2008