She might leave for a job for good. How do I enjoy the month until I find out?
June 20, 2008 7:17 PM Subscribe
She might be leaving for good in one month, or not leaving at all. We find out in one month. How do I not ruin the next month for myself and her by being miserable about it?
posted by anonymous to human relations (10 answers total)
We've only been dating a few months, but we were getting really close and enjoying that "honeymoon period" of a new relationship when something very unexpected came up. She entered a contest on a whim before we started going out. She got contacted that she is in the running with a handful of other people for what amounts to a full-time job in another country. She is thrilled and really hopes she gets it. It is a ridiculously good opportunity. It would be like winning the career lottery for her line of work. I fully support her, but I can't help but be ambivalent because this would mean the end of our relationship. I told her, and she understands. It's just one of those strange things that you don't expect. Following her after only three months would be foolish obviously. And I have some crazy opportunities of my own in this city I have to stick around for. And it would be a 24hr+ bus or $500 flight so visiting on weekends isn't really an option either.
So in any case, the thing isn't a guarantee, but she has an extremely good chance and I can't stop thinking about it and it's making me more miserable than I'm letting on to her. We're living in a beautiful city, it's summer, and all I want to do is hang out, have fun sexytimes, and enjoy it.
The first thing that stands in the way of that is the understandable sadness about likely losing someone I'm becoming attached to. I'm not an aloof guy. It's been almost three years since I felt this close to someone and I barely dated in between. When I fall I fall hard and fast.
The second is the thought of being on my own again. I'll be thirty-one this year and I'm tired of being lonely. So tired of it. It makes me sad. And although I totally feel like I'm a catch, I have a very difficult time meeting girls, and a veeeeeery difficult time meeting girls I would want to date. The thought of being on my own again for several months, if not years, makes me pretty despondent. I'm even starting to cry a bit and I'm concerned I'm going to cry in front of her at some point. God damn, I don't want that to happen.
What should I focus on in my mind to not drag the two of us down into a sad hole and ruin what could be a wonderful time together?