How do I do what I am supposed to do, and will it make me feel any better to do those things?
May 19, 2008 12:50 PM Subscribe
The new normal sucks. How am I supposed to cope after my father's suddenish death?
posted by bash to human relations (29 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
My dad died about five weeks ago after battling cancer for about 5 weeks. We didn't expect him to die so soon after diagnosis. The doctor told me six months.
I came back to where I live after the funeral, 1000 miles away from where my family lives to finish school and catch up on all the work I had missed etc.
Since school got out a week ago, I have been finishing up all the uncompleted work I missed by traveling to visit my father before he died.
I feel like I really suck right now. I have a meeting in an hour and I don't think I can make myself go to it. I had big plans for today and couldn't do any of them. I do some of the things I think will make me feel better, like running or drinking fresh juice and eating well, but all I want to do is read and watch tv and sleep and research grief on the internet. I have a therapist I see once a week. Otherwise, I can't do the things I think people expect me to do.
I want to be alone and do the laundry and not fold it. I want my house to magically be clean. I dread sending an email that says "I can't come to this meeting, I know I said I would be over my grief by this week, but I am not, and I can't leave the house."
My therapist says I should try to do the things I'm supposed to do. But I don't want to do these things. How do I deal with this? What is the etiquette for grieving, and how do I make myself feel any better? I feel like I've grieved a lot and cried and cried and cried till I puked, but I am in shock and don't want to do anything.