what will I do without my parents?
October 13, 2008 9:48 AM Subscribe
I can't stop obsessing about my parents' mortality. Yes, I will probably seek therapy at some point, but for now it would be nice just to hear how others have dealt with this.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (16 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 32, my parents are in their late 70's. Their health is on the not-great end of normal for their age, and I am terrified of what is going to happen to me after they're gone.
We are extremely close, but there's a lot of guilt involved. They adopted me when I was 10, before that I was in foster care for a few years and before that I was in a pretty abusive situation that I barely remember. Though my parents were always careful to make sure I didn't feel as if I 'owed' them anything, my adopted siblings (20 years older than me) had no such qualms. They have always seemed cold and distant, and when I had some drug problems in my early 20's, that turned to straight-up dislike and resentment that hasn't abated in spite of the fact that I have been sober and financially stable (and haven't taken a penny off of our parents) since I was 23. I can't imagine that I will have any sort of relationship with them at all after our parents are gone. I wouldn't even be surprised if they try to contest the will to exclude me (our parents are fairly well-off) or if they tried to stop me from taking any mementos or family heirlooms, even the ones that my mother has specifically promised me. The siblings have made it pretty clear that the money my parents spent on my drug treatment was more inheritance than I ever deserved to begin with.
Every time the phone rings late at night, I go absolutely cold. I am driving myself crazy with this - when my parents are gone, I will have no family left at all, and I am afraid that I will just fall apart completely.