Extremely NSFW sex question.

May 13, 2008 4:02 AM

After watching a sword swallowing routine in a magic act, one of my good friends commented that she would really like to be able to deep-throat her boyfriend.

However, she won't practice on him due of a fear of throwing up on his penis. Just to note: This friend has an extremely sensative gag reflex; she has complained that brushing her teeth has occasionally triggered it (however, she's overcome this enough to go down on him on a regular basis).

I (after the usual I-don't-know-what-to-tell-you-caveats) suggested practicing gag-reflex-supression with a very small dildo or buttplug to start, preferably one with a wide "lip" at the end so there's no chance she accidentally swallows it and chokes herself to death. Since her boyfriend is also a generally good guy who (she says) is game for anything, I suggested just having a talk with him-- "okay, we both think this would be cool if I could do it, let's try some stuff out, fair warning I may throw up on you by accident" and see where it goes. I've referred her to the "sexuality.org" tutorial, and the very helpful previous blowjob thread on Metafilter, but she's looking for more specific deep-throat practice techniques.

Anyone got any?

posted by ®@ to education (11 comments total)

the biggest thing she can do is relax. easier said than done to be sure, but there it is. other than that, it's be patient, take it slow, and don't get discouraged if it takes a while.

most guys have some sort of curve to their penis, she should position herself in a way that the angle of his dangle will slide to her throat the easiest. for instance, if it curves up, kneeling in front of him will be harder to achieve her goals than it would be if she knelt next to him on the bed, with her toes by his shoulders and her head, of course, in his lap. he needs to stay completely still and thrust not even a little bit. she shouldn't be looking for any of the things you might see in throat gaggers 69, but rather very calm and relaxed.

once she's in position she should go as far as she can without gagging and hold herself there while she concentrates on breathing through her nose. then pull back up (again SLOWLY), suck around the head and top of the shaft for a minute, then go back down again. it's important that she stops before she gags. her throat will relax eventually. this probably won't be something she fixes in one night, rather it will probably take many sessions. she should find that the more she does it, the further down she can go. she may never be able to let him face fuck her until he cums behind her tonsils, but she should be able to get her nose to his belly with enough patience and practice on both their parts.

the good part about this method is that it has the potential to remove a lot of the fear about puking. she's in control the whole time and she's never pushing herself beyond what her body wants to do.

oh, and a glass of wine first isn't the worst idea. a bottle of wine probably is.
posted by nadawi at 4:19 AM on May 13, 2008

Friends and family, please forgive me. This is all in the sake of Education! Also, I learned it all from a textbook. I swear.

FORGET ABOUT SUCTION.

Most of what the dude feels is friction of lips and tongue. Don't worry about keeping an airtight, vacuum seal and sucking slurp. There's nothing wrong with suction, but it's a lot easier to swallow a sword without it.

When you're taking it this deep, it's ok for your mouth to not be an airtight, all-surrounding enclosure. Open that jaw up. Use your tongue to protect the back of your throat, so the cock is knocking into tongue rather than tonsils.

Closing your eyes helps, if the dizzying zoom of hair-laced stomach looming closer then zooming away ad infinitum has anything to do with the nausea.

Also, she should jerk off while sucking him off. You'd be surprised at how easy it is when you're thinking "this is totally awesome and hot!" and not "oh god am I doing it right I am going to ralph."
posted by Juliet Banana at 4:44 AM on May 13, 2008

So she throws up, any guy who is into deep throat has been thrown up on, and is used to it.
posted by orthogonality at 4:53 AM on May 13, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Yes, relax!

Oh, and trying it from a different position might help. For deep throating, this means the recipient lying down and the performer facing the the penis, with their bum toward the recipient's face (Think, 69). This way the penis (unless it has a significant bend) will slide more naturally down the throat, being less likely to trigger the reflex.

Also, make sure your friend doesn't eat solids in the hour before going down- I find this sensitizes my gag reflex. A swig or two of water always helps too.

Happy head-giving!
posted by sunshinesky at 4:55 AM on May 13, 2008

PS- most guys I've talked to just like the idea of being deep throated- I'm told sticking to the tip is generally more pleasurable, but they like the pornstar aspect of the deep throat. HMMV.
posted by sunshinesky at 4:57 AM on May 13, 2008

You have to be able to surpress your gag reflex for this to work. That's the simple fact of the matter.

To learn to do this, you need a mirror. The bathroom mirror will be sufficient if there is good lighting. Open your mouth pretty much as wide as you can naturally open it, and then experiment with lifting your uvula. You need to hold your breath whilst doing this or it will not work and you end up choking on air, which is very odd.

Anyway, it's the lifted state that stops the gagging, so you want to get this down. After that bit, you can pretty much quickly instert anything down there, and it's fine. Once in, you relax your throat enough to breathe through your nose, and you're generally good to go.

But yeah, sometimes you get distracted or fall of each other's pace and involuntary vomit happens. I've only had this occur once in a considerable number of years of tonsils-on practice, but it does happen. I would not recommed attempting this technique with a belly full of anything you really, really don't want to puke back up. Like, oh, Goldschlager, for example.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:07 AM on May 13, 2008

My ex had a really simple way of doing it....basically via the 69 position. As the previous poster said about the angle of the dangle, she was able to move up and down taking a little more each time, and then BLAMMO down her throat it went. She practiced, and got to where she could hold it there for 15-30 seconds, which is kind of impressive because I know she couldn't breathe.

What's crazy was that if I came during this time, she could feel the spasm but had no taste or sensation...it went straight to her belly. (Which for me is a crazy, crazy turn on.)

I'd suggest this method.
posted by TomMelee at 6:13 AM on May 13, 2008

I remember a friend demonstrating some kind of gag-suppression salve that she could apply to the back of her mouth and then proceed to jam her fingers down her throat with obvious abandon for our amusement (and discomfort) at a party. Apparently it will just totally numb everything in the throat. I don't remember a specific brand or anything, though.
posted by cowbellemoo at 6:57 AM on May 13, 2008

Don't buy numbing gels like Goodhead. While it kind of numbs the back of the throat, it also numbs the penis.
posted by spec80 at 7:20 AM on May 13, 2008

(Ah, that was it.)
posted by cowbellemoo at 8:12 AM on May 13, 2008

I, too, have a gag reflex this strong. But I've never been tempted to try to circumvent it in order to deep-throat anyone. However -- she said, trying to figure out how to phrase this elegantly -- fellatio still happens, and all of the recipients seemed damn happy, so it was all good.

But there is one thing to try that could give a gentleman's member an all-over sensation without actually taking it entirely into your mouth:

1. Slide your mouth as far down the shaft as you feel you comfortably can.

2. Grasp the shaft just past that point, and hold it with a JUST slightly-snugger-than-usual hold.

3. Continue with your blowjob. Your hand will stop your mouth from going past the point of comfort, and you can relax and participate with more enthusiasm (which does go a long way towards him enjoying it too), and he's still got the whole of his shaft being covered. If you can coordinate it, you can also try rubbing the shaft with the hand as well, so your mouth and hand are working together.

The classic "deep throat" kind of thing with all-mouth, you may not do, but I'd wager that most guys would prefer a really enthusiastically-performed blow job focusing on the upper half of their penis than they would a tentative, nervous deep-throat anyway.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:36 AM on May 13, 2008