Do I tell my engaged friend that I love her?
April 17, 2008 9:27 AM Subscribe
Is it worth telling my best friend, who just got engaged, that I'm secretly in love with her?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (118 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
My best friend, who I've known for almost ten years and had at least a mild crush on for that entire time, just told me tonight that she was engaged. I said congratulations, played it cool, and then drank some whiskey.
This is the one person who I've really thought I could marry. She's lived in a different city for most of the time I've known her, but we talk at least once a week for two hours, even though she hates talking on the phone to everyone else. I feel completely in sync with her and always thought "well, if we end up living in the same place, one day we'll probably end up together." Sometimes, we joked about it. But now, I no longer have the secure feeling of inevitability.
A couple of years ago, I talked a very small amount about my feelings, just to get them off of my chest, but I told her I didn't want to get into a long distance relationship and that was basically it. After all, eventually, I'd have my life together, I'd be done with school, and then I could bring it up again.
But now, there's really nothing I can do, right? If she's happy, then I'm just selfish to confess my feelings, aren't I?
And just to be clear, this isn't just random, childish infatuation. This is the person who is most important to me in my entire world and has been for years. She is closer to me than any of my family members or friends and she is the person I trust more than anyone. We respect each other's opinions and admire each other's talents. I've only had a real argument with her once in ten years, but we debate things all the time. I also know that we'll still be friends even if she is married, and I hold no illusions that this is the end of my world.
Yet, I can't imagine clicking with anyone better than this woman. So do I tell her that, or do I hold it inside and accept that I'm alone.
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