Looking for a gibberishy fake product demonstration...
February 25, 2008 2:42 PM Subscribe
Somewhere on the wide internet is a video of a fake product demonstration that's complete and total doublespeak. And I can't find it. Could use a little google-fu from the crew, here.
I give training seminars. The video in question is from a large company and is considered to be a classic of sorts. It's a product demonstration of a fake product that devolves rather quickly into total tech-nonsense. I'd like to use some of the content in my seminars, but I can't find it (because I can't remember any of the details).
Can you help?
I give training seminars. The video in question is from a large company and is considered to be a classic of sorts. It's a product demonstration of a fake product that devolves rather quickly into total tech-nonsense. I'd like to use some of the content in my seminars, but I can't find it (because I can't remember any of the details).
Can you help?
My first thought was ibm's buzzword bingo. Now I read your description again, and it does not really match, but well who knows..
posted by dnial at 3:02 PM on February 25, 2008
posted by dnial at 3:02 PM on February 25, 2008
Damn, I see I completely misread it.. must think before type.. I need sleep! Sorry, Good luck!
posted by dnial at 3:10 PM on February 25, 2008
posted by dnial at 3:10 PM on February 25, 2008
Best answer: The bizarre thing is that there are at least 3 different versions of the "Encabulator" video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtuqjFf7-N4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLDgQg6bq7o&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVZ8Ko-nss4&feature=related
posted by mmoncur at 3:40 PM on February 25, 2008
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtuqjFf7-N4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLDgQg6bq7o&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVZ8Ko-nss4&feature=related
posted by mmoncur at 3:40 PM on February 25, 2008
Best answer: Encabulator: it's a very old engineers' joke. See the wikipedia article.
posted by londongeezer at 3:47 PM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by londongeezer at 3:47 PM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Oh and here's the website with full script.
posted by londongeezer at 3:50 PM on February 25, 2008
posted by londongeezer at 3:50 PM on February 25, 2008
Response by poster: Yep, it's the Encabulator. That thing is sweet! I want one!
And my training seminars just got a LOT more confusing!
"To schedule a resource in Outlook, it's really simple. Just open your calendar, select scheduling, then on every seventh conductor use a non-reversible termic pipe to the differential girdlespring on the 'up' end of the grammete and click the OK button."
posted by disclaimer at 7:09 PM on February 25, 2008
And my training seminars just got a LOT more confusing!
"To schedule a resource in Outlook, it's really simple. Just open your calendar, select scheduling, then on every seventh conductor use a non-reversible termic pipe to the differential girdlespring on the 'up' end of the grammete and click the OK button."
posted by disclaimer at 7:09 PM on February 25, 2008
Response by poster: (although I am sending along the Insta-Trailer to a guy that owns a post house. Ha!)
Thanks everyone!
posted by disclaimer at 7:10 PM on February 25, 2008
Thanks everyone!
posted by disclaimer at 7:10 PM on February 25, 2008
Here's similar gibberish from A Bit of Fry and Laurie with added double entendre.
posted by meech at 8:36 PM on February 25, 2008
posted by meech at 8:36 PM on February 25, 2008
Thought you'd like this wikipedia reference...
and from here a close script:
The Turbo-Encabulator in Industry.
For a number of years now, work has been proceeding to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the "turbo-encabulator." Basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the medial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive directance.
The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbline was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-0-delta type placed in panendermic semiboiloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible tremie pipe to the differential gridlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters.
Forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes were arranged to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% remanative tetryliodohexamine. Both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P=2.5C.nexp6.7 where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Chlomondeley's annular grillage coefficient. Initially, n was measured with the aid of metaploar refractive pilfrometer (for a description of this ingenious instrument, see Reference 1), but up to the present, nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope (2).
Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubing together a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennelsprock. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1942, it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins enabled a kryptonastic boiling shim to the tankered.
The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the large quasi-piestic stresses in the gremlin studs; the latter were specially designed to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered that wending could be prevented by a simple addition to the living sockets, almost perfect running was secured.
The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the h.f. rem peak by constantly fromaging the bitumogenous spandrels. This is a distinct advance on the standard nivel-sheave in that no dramcock oil is required after the phase detractors have been remissed.
Undoubtedly, the turbo-encabulator has now reached a very high level of technical development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration
posted by filmgeek at 8:55 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]
and from here a close script:
The Turbo-Encabulator in Industry.
For a number of years now, work has been proceeding to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the "turbo-encabulator." Basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the medial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive directance.
The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbline was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-0-delta type placed in panendermic semiboiloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible tremie pipe to the differential gridlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters.
Forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes were arranged to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% remanative tetryliodohexamine. Both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P=2.5C.nexp6.7 where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Chlomondeley's annular grillage coefficient. Initially, n was measured with the aid of metaploar refractive pilfrometer (for a description of this ingenious instrument, see Reference 1), but up to the present, nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope (2).
Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubing together a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennelsprock. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1942, it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins enabled a kryptonastic boiling shim to the tankered.
The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the large quasi-piestic stresses in the gremlin studs; the latter were specially designed to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered that wending could be prevented by a simple addition to the living sockets, almost perfect running was secured.
The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the h.f. rem peak by constantly fromaging the bitumogenous spandrels. This is a distinct advance on the standard nivel-sheave in that no dramcock oil is required after the phase detractors have been remissed.
Undoubtedly, the turbo-encabulator has now reached a very high level of technical development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration
posted by filmgeek at 8:55 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by good in a vacuum at 2:48 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]