Too slippery when wet?

February 19, 2008 7:06 PM

I know this is counter-intuitive, but I get so absurdly wet when I have sex that it feels less enjoyable than when I'm a little bit dry. What can I do about it? (slightly NSFW)

The current boyfriend is -ahem- very good at what he does in the bedroom. However it's gotten to the point where we just kiss and immediately I'm wet enough for the rest of the night. No foreplay necessary. In fact, I've asked him to have LESS foreplay so I won't be immediately soaked. We have sex at least twice a day and the longer we have been dating, the more I've noticed my body producing increasing amounts juices every time we hook up. It's getting to be a nuisance.

Are there any tips or tricks for women who have this problem? I've taken to pausing during sex and "scooping" out the excess juices with my hand and wiping them on the sheets, which is IMO not very sexy. It's not that I don't feel him when I'm wet it's just that it feels twice as good when I'm at 50% my normal levels (only happens during quickies when he catches me completely by surprise.)

I don't want to give up all foreplay. I'd like to know if any of you women do any sort of discreet toweling action before penetration, and for guys, whether or not that's a turn off to the fella to do some pre-penetration mopping up.

(FWIW, he says he likes it either way, but that it's a little more intense for him when I'm not super-duper-slippery.)

posted by anonymous to human relations (24 comments total)

Why don't you change up the positions? You could move from what you're doing to cowgirl (or reverse) then you'll let the wetness drain a bit and have somewhere for all that wetness to go when you orgasm. Or, he could just eat you out, and swallow it.
posted by parmanparman at 7:23 PM on February 19, 2008

parmanparman has the right idea. this happens to me sometimes and i find that when i get on top, gravity does most of the work.
posted by youcancallmeal at 7:27 PM on February 19, 2008

Personally...... "pausing during sex and "scooping" out the excess juices with my hand and wiping them on the sheets"..........doesnt sound like "excessive wetness" by my standards (but that could be just me).

To me, ... "excessive wetness" means fluid dripping/running down your thighs (or "squirting" during orgasm)...

Why not just lay down a couple thick towels before boom-chicka-boom.. ??
posted by jmnugent at 7:41 PM on February 19, 2008

I'm pretty sure he's obliged to ingest it. *checks rulebook* Yep.

Failing that, totally just go ahead and wipe off well at one point, with Ye Olde Sex Towel perhaps while he's putting on a condom. It's not sexy, but neither is taking off your socks, and it's still an important part of getting laid.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:52 PM on February 19, 2008 [8 favorites]

Don't feel you have to do anything discreetly -- keep a little hand-towel around and mop up when you need to. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. If it did turn him off -- which seems unlikely -- then he's an idiot.
posted by loiseau at 8:18 PM on February 19, 2008

Ye Olde Sex Towel

Exactly, around my place that was called "the zamboni" and it is just sort of one of those things you have handy along with condoms and other sex gear. It's pretty normal.
posted by jessamyn at 8:25 PM on February 19, 2008 [5 favorites]

Yeah cum rags aren't just for boys. Keep a small towel near the bed, have it embroidered with your name a la Laverne from Laverne and Shirley, and don't you dare be embarrassed about it. The other option would be to keep your pants on longer and hope that things will be absorbed in the process. Either way it mostly just means doing more laundry.
posted by SassHat at 8:27 PM on February 19, 2008

If a girl simply can't control herself because of something I'm doing... ya thats a turn on.
posted by pwally at 8:28 PM on February 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

Sometimes it makes it less weird when you have a towel specifically designed for that.
posted by Ugh at 8:37 PM on February 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

Hmm, I'm not sure that just "mopping it up" is going to cure your problem. It sounds like it's a consistency thing too...like it's very fluid and water-like so even if you clean up a bit you're still having problems with the sex feeling less intense as your body's own lubrication is just too thin...no?

It could be that it's just your body's normal secretion at certain times during your cycle. It does change with your hormone levels throughout the month. But for me personally, I've noticed my diet makes a significant difference...when I haven't been eating too healthy I run into the same problem you're describing, but it clears up once I clean up my diet (lots of fruits and veggies.)
posted by anniepants at 8:37 PM on February 19, 2008

".... and for guys, whether or not that's a turn off to the fella to do some pre-penetration mopping up?"

Depends on the guy, I suppose, but for me, it's a huge turn on knowing my girl is soaking wet because of me. If you must use a towel to get rid of it (rather than, say, something along the lines of what Ambrosia Voyeur mentioned up thread), perhaps you can do so in a way that becomes foreplay. Maybe he can do the toweling... maybe you could do it in a sexy kind of way. The possibilities are endless (and potentially sexy)!
posted by Effigy2000 at 8:46 PM on February 19, 2008

Try having sex when you're a bit thirsty - literally.

A woman's vaginal secretions during sex are actually blood serum, leaking out through the thin skin of her inflated labia. While philosophers throughout time have waxed on about how semen contains the "soul" of the baby, or even the man himself, it is ironically the woman's body that chooses to give up life blood for The Act. It is a sacred and truly precious fluid, indeed.

But I digress. Since your body knows it is essentially choosing to lose blood in order to supply the lubrication, mild dehydration can seriously inhibit production. For both men & women, this can mean delayed or inhibited orgasm. It doesn't sound like that is a serious threat to your play right now...

So, I'd recommend allowing yourself to get a bit thirsty, and see if it doesn't decrease the flow.

OTOH, I take exception to jmnugent's description of "excessive wetness" means fluid dripping/running down your thighs (or "squirting" during orgasm)... I've had lovers who did both of those things, and there was nothing excessive about it. Just right!

(But too much lube can mean too little stimulation for the cock, it's true.)
posted by IAmBroom at 9:06 PM on February 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

A towel is needed. On the bed.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:11 PM on February 19, 2008

Um, paper towels?
posted by delmoi at 9:57 PM on February 19, 2008

A long time ago someone's BF called Dr. Ruth's radio show with this issue; her recommendation was to have a cotton hanky at hand to blot up the excess--not paper because that disintegrates.
posted by brujita at 10:09 PM on February 19, 2008

Wipe it off on the sheets? Your body is making lube. Lubricate things with it - his penis, your hands, your nipples, etc. Grind on his thigh, etc, etc, etc.

Oh, and enjoy your shower afterwards.
posted by plinth at 3:56 AM on February 20, 2008

Depends on the guy, I suppose, but for me, it's a huge turn on knowing my girl is soaking wet because of me.

Seconded. It's such a high to know I am being a great lover to my partner.
posted by parmanparman at 4:50 AM on February 20, 2008

whether or not that's a turn off to the fella to do some pre-penetration mopping up

No, for two reasons:

-- The wetness is from me, so I feel like a sex-god;

-- and you are mopping to be able to feel the penetration more intensely, also making me feel like a sex-god.

Just use a handkerchief or towel (if you are in the US, Target, KMart, Walmart, and other stores sell big bundles of 100% cotton washcloths very cheaply, and you can get them in a color different from what goes in your bathroom and kitchen, so there is never any doubt about what are the sex towels -- just keep a stack near the bed for pre- and post-sex wiping), not a paper towel or tissue. Or keep using your hand, if that is working for you (but maybe wipe your hand on a towel, not the sheet, unless you change sheets often).
posted by Forktine at 5:06 AM on February 20, 2008

You say you are having sex twice a day... is one of those first thing in the morning? I am normally quite abundant in my lubrication production, except first thing in the morning. It's like my body is still sleepy and takes a little time to get revved up.
posted by kimdog at 5:16 AM on February 20, 2008

nthing the "have him clean it up" school of thought.

Another idea *don't read if you are susceptible to TMI*

...one thing that we've experienced is that, in the shower, either through fingering or through intercourse itself, she sometimes gets a little dried out due to the water continuously washing everything away.

Maybe consider shower sex if you're trying to regain some more friction down (and inside) there.
posted by crunch buttsteak at 8:45 AM on February 20, 2008

Count me among the guys who think that "pre-penetration mopping up" is a huge turn-on. I think the sexiest thing one of my past partners ever said to me was, "We're going to have to stop to I can wring out my panties."

Also, plinth has the right idea. Don't waste that stuff on the sheets.
posted by DWRoelands at 9:08 AM on February 20, 2008

Ditto plinth...wipe it on him, grind it into him, make him feel the effects of what he does to you and he'll love it. This is the equivalent of the cum shot in the face, on the breasts etc. Work it!
posted by kenzi23 at 4:08 PM on February 20, 2008

If you do decide to go the "discreet toweling" route, and you mean "discreet" as in "not where he can see", I think that inserting then removing a tampon would probably more effectively soak up the excess wetness than just toweling around the exterior? Just an idea.
posted by Jacqueline at 2:08 AM on February 21, 2008

Second crunch; try getting going in the shower. For many people the effects of this are pretty negative (dryness) but for you, it might be just the ticket...
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:56 PM on February 27, 2008