Office bully is driving me nuts.
December 10, 2007 12:03 PM Subscribe
I'm afraid of someone at work.
posted by frosty_hut to work & money (39 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I have a problem with a guy at work who bullies me when he's training me on a certain computer system. The first time I had to use the system, I screwed something up. This guy -- I'll call him Dick -- started yelling, "You just can't stop hitting that yellow button too early, can you? You just can't stop doing that!"
This rankled for weeks with me, but I didn't say anything to management. Last week I screwed something else up again. In my own defense, I work two jobs and I've been super tired, but it was an easy thing that I probably should have noticed and corrected. So while at job number one the other day, I got a nastygram email from Dick again: WHAT HAPPENED?
I flipped out and started crying hysterically, which I never do, and sent an email to Dick saying, Sorry, I'll do better next time. When I got to job #2 I asked to speak to our manager. This guy hired me and he likes me, and the first thing he said was, "I'm not blaming you too much for any of this. We're aware that none of you guys have had training on our system."
I told him I was at the end of my rope, that I felt targeted and scapegoated by Dick, and that I hadn't received effective training from him -- he flustered me so much during our sessions that I ended up not getting whatever it was I was supposed to have learned. I hastened to add that I didn't have a personal problem with Dick (not true, actually, but I didn't want to ruffle any feathers), and that it was just that I really needed some decent training.
My manager said that he had already paid for comapny training, but that the engineeers had been delaying setting it up for us. He said he was now going to do something about it.
I thanked him and then immediately felt bad. I've essentially bad-mouthed a co-worker to my manger, and now I'm worried. I have to work with Dick all the time. Today I have to go in there and listen to his loud voice. I keep trying to do my thing without running into him, but it's impossible the way our jobs are structured. So I'm dreading it. I just emailed him letting him know when I'm going to be in, and that he should make the studio available for me. No response. I'm terrified that the gloves are off -- that he's finally in full retaliation mode, after doing his best not to blow up at me (he may have been talked to before about a similar issue when I mentioned it to my manager's boss).
So in a nutshell: How do I handle this guy? He's always thought of me as a dumb blonde, and now I'm sure he thinks I'm a vindictive bitch on top of it. I'm so wound up -- I really feel like if he says one negative word to me today, I'm going to walk out of the job. I have a chance at a full time job at this place, and management likes me. This is the best place I've ever worked, except for Dick and his engineering co-horts -- they're the only dark cloud. I just don't know what to do, because this is one of those chance-in-a-lifetime situations. If I can stick it out here, I may be rewarded...but it may not be for months.
Why should I even be afraid of this guy? I should just go in and non-emotionally do my job and get through the day. I shouldn't be obsessing over whether people like me or not. But I can't stop worrying about it. You could say I'm actually afraid of this guy, Dick.
What attitude and behaviors around this would be the most helpful for me to have? Did I make a mistake going to my manager? I'd be grateful for any other thoughts you might have regarding this.