Book Recommendations For Leadership/Problem-Solving?

September 19, 2007 1:31 PM

I need some good books or other learning material about how to effectively lead people, and more importantly, solve disputes. Read anything that would help me?

So, I'm a college freshman this year, and I plan on applying to be a RA in my dorm for next year. For anyone who isn't familiar with that term,it's basically a student that's in charge of part of the dorm. Responsibilities include solving disputes between students and just being someone that they can talk to if they have a problem. Leadership and problem-solving skills are vital.

I feel that I'd be really good at this job, but the competition will be very fierce (it's a paid position and also includes a free private room and meal plan) so I want to study up a bit to improve my chances. I feel like I have the basic skills required, but I'd like to find some good books, videos, or movies that might help me become better at being a leader and fixing problems.

And while we're at it, if anyone here was an RA in college or had positive/negative experiences with theirs, I'd love to hear any personal tips you can provide. The interview and selection process occurs late this semester or early next, so I really need to get going on this.

Thanks for the help!

posted by DMan to human relations (7 comments total)

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is an oldie but goodie that deals with communicating with people in general.
posted by nitsuj at 1:46 PM on September 19, 2007

Can't second How to Win Friends and Influence People enough. It was written in the 30s, and it's still hard to find a better description of how to improve interpersonal relations.
posted by Nelsormensch at 1:50 PM on September 19, 2007

I didn't read the longer description of your post at first, sorry. I was an RA back at the University of Colorado a few years ago and while the benefits are nice, it's not an easy or pleasant job at times.

Maybe your school does things better, but at CU the RAs are responsible for building community and enforcing the rules. Needless to say, those two objectives are basically mutually exclusive. While it would be great if the residents were mature enough to not hate you after you busted them for drinking in their rooms (again), they likely won't be.

Aside from a few Animal House-esque moments (discovering some residents had set up a slip & slide in the hallway and used hand soap from the bathroom to grease it up), almost all my conflicts with residents involved booze or weed. It gets annoying beyond measure to deal with intoxicated freshmen again and again. And believe me, you'll quickly discover how unbelievably poor most people are at lying ("I don't know what happened, I just got here ... someone must have broken in and had a party while I was gone!").

I don't remember much about my interviews except that it's important to be a good example on your floor *now* and get a solid recommendation from your current RA. You don't have to be a cheerleader or anything, but being relatively sociable, friendly and not a notorious rule-breaker is essential.

Beyond that, it's basically like a job interview and you should treat it as such (and it sounds like you are). Talk to current RAs, check out internet resources, etc. Take what Carnegie says to heart, do the legwork and you should be fine. Don't get me wrong, it can be a really rewarding and enjoyable experience too (plus, it really help prevent being enveloped by student loan debt). I got really close to the other RAs on my staff too and some of them are still close friends several years later. Just be aware that a significant part of your job may be dealing with drunken freshmen and will be ... colourful, to say the least.
posted by Nelsormensch at 2:05 PM on September 19, 2007

A good book for handling all types of negotations (and conflicts) is called "Getting to Yes"

Another excellent book with a different perspective on how to influence people's behavior is called "Don't Shoot the Dog" - it uses concepts learned from training animals (dolphins - where you can only use positive reinforcement, no punshiments) and applies to people. My son was section leader for marching band and found it very useful in thinking creatively about how to get the best from his section.
posted by metahawk at 3:57 PM on September 19, 2007

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
posted by Hates_ at 4:04 PM on September 19, 2007

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Chaldini
posted by doppleradar at 5:42 AM on September 20, 2007

Thanks for all of the advice so far, I'll be sure to check all of those out. I appreciate the firsthand knowledge, too, Nelsormensch!
posted by DMan at 7:58 AM on September 20, 2007