If you're an obese man who's been successful in the dating scene, please give me some tips and advice. As always, there's
Having come off a bad relationship and a stressful time with a considerably larger physique, I find myself entering upon the dating scene as a morbidly obese guy — this being a new experience for me. (Not that my body was Adonisesque the first time around, mind you — I was more the tall and gangly type.)
I am feeling a little bit awkward and, despite being able to carry on a good conversation and having good listening skills, I am feeling as though (no offense to potential answerers) this obesity makes me an extremely unattractive partner to women, despite the fact that my diverse interests, conversational skills, etc. served me well in that regard in the past.
Obviously, though, this isn't the case — women evidently do fall for and like larger men
. So, as suggested
, I wanted to put the question to the overweight Mefite men who don't have problems actively dating women ...
Psychologically ... how do you do it? How did you convince yourself that your ... well, not to put it too nicely, but how did you convince yourself that that big ol' potbelly doesn't matter when you found the need to approach a girl for the first time? Unlike before, I find myself paralyzed by a voice harshly critical of my physique at the moment of truth which freezes up most of my "normal" ability to interact with women if a romantic element isn't involved. (And I unfortunately can't "fool" myself into engaging "friend-mode".) I can't have been the only fat guy to deal with this; how do you?
Fashion-wise ... having formerly dressed for a more thin physique, I'm at a loss as to what fashions and style flatter an obese man. My business casual garb also serves as my "nice event" garb, and I have a feeling it's probably not as flattering as other things might be: single-color polo shirt and black Dockers slacks. How do you dress to be comfortable yet impressive (or, failing that, uncomfortable yet impressive)?
And, by all means, if you have any tips or advice unrelated to the questions above, by all means, I would very much desire to hear them and learn from them. Also, if it matters in terms of a generational sense, I'm in my late twenties.