Strange noise emanating from woman

August 20, 2007 4:40 PM

I just started dating this woman. She is 36 year old and has coeliac disease (although I don't think that is related to this question). A strange vibrating noise comes from her.

The noise sounds almost like a pager set to vibrate or the sound windshield wipers make when moving across a window that is not we enough (only much fainter). The sound is intermittent, yet frequent. I know for a fact that she doesn't carry cell phone or pager and I am pretty sure she does not wear some sort of a medical device. I can't tell where the noise is coming from exactly, but I know is coming from her. I have heard this noise come from her in different locations and at different times. She does not react at all to the noise and can carry on a fluid conversation during the noise. Any ideas?

posted by Jesco to health (16 comments total)

My first thought is that it is indeed a pager or cell phone, despite your claim. I wonder if it's your pager or cell phone.

My second thought is that since this is a bowel disease, you're hearing a gurgling, growling, rolling, gassy GI tract doing its thing. She's ignoring it. So, perhaps, should you.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:48 PM on August 20, 2007

I have heard a noise like that from dialysis patients. To prepare for dialysis, they have a vein and artery cross-coupled in their arm (it's called a "thrill"), the resulting turbulence can be heard from across the room.
posted by RussHy at 5:06 PM on August 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

Maybe she's purring.
posted by krisjohn at 5:07 PM on August 20, 2007 [5 favorites]

Does she make any movements when you hear the noise? Or any other common denominator at all? In second grade, I amazed my classmates by making an odd rumbling noise--my secret was the washer board-texture rubber on my shoe, and the leg of the desk which had the perfect edge for rubbing it against.
posted by anaelith at 5:23 PM on August 20, 2007

If you're in your 30's, I would think that you could just ASK her. Maybe I'm too blunt, but I would. Also, curious to know the answer.

I once (a long time ago) dated a man with a minor appendage defect. It took me a year to ask him about it, and I was glad I did. Ever since then, I haven't had any fear of asking pointed questions. If she told you about her affliction, then you shouldn't have qualms about asking her about he "vibration" noises.
posted by WaterSprite at 6:39 PM on August 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Hey, did you hear that?"
"No, what?"
"Oh, it sounded like a vibrating noise, really close to you."
"Oh, that's my ________ I'm used to it. No need to worry."
"Ah, thanks for clearing that up."
posted by desjardins at 8:29 PM on August 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Medical equipment, pager, or remote controlled vibrator. Why not ask?
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:34 PM on August 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Seconding a jackrabbit jumpin' all ove... nevermind.
posted by puddpunk at 9:30 PM on August 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

This thread is useless wthout audio. Please record and upload for analysis.
posted by meehawl at 11:20 PM on August 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have Crohn's, and my stomach makes an audible noise that might sound like a vibration. I would assume that someone with coeliac might make a similar noise. I've gotten used to it, and ignore it, for the most part. If she doesn't mention it, she's probably used to it too; why not just ask her if you're that curious?
posted by lemonwheel at 11:39 PM on August 20, 2007

I vote for borborygmi, since celiac disease is the only clue in the question.
posted by roofus at 12:37 AM on August 21, 2007

Maybe she's from the same planet as Gary Shandling?
posted by DefendBrooklyn at 4:04 AM on August 21, 2007

It probably says a lot about me that my first thought was "remote control vibrator"...
posted by twine42 at 4:41 AM on August 21, 2007

In cases of refractory coeliac disease when a patient is not properly absorbing nutrients, intravenous feeding may be necessary. An ambulatory, battery powered infusion pump may be used which would release nutrients periodically through a catheter connected to a feeding bag hidden somewhere on her body - this might explain the noise.
posted by Evangeline at 5:34 AM on August 21, 2007

Is it possible she has an artificial heart valve?
posted by lampoil at 7:45 AM on August 21, 2007

In the interest of full disclosure, I should have added that this question was asked by a friend of mine.

The answer, it turns out, is bruxism. She had been doing it for years.
posted by Jesco at 6:49 PM on March 25