I hate working
July 11, 2007 6:24 AM Subscribe
I think I hate working. Or at least the part where I have a boss, and I sit in front of a computer all day for 8 hours, with a mandatory hour long lunch and two 15 minute breaks for 40 years. I feel this way a little more every day, even though I feel passionate about my field, generally like what I'm doing at the computer, and even have moments of euphoria when I do a really good job. Is there a cure that doesn't involve throwing away my financial security?
posted by anonymous to work & money (14 answers total) 24 users marked this as a favorite
A few years ago, I was underpaid at a scrappy little illegitimate employer, and even though I hated my boss and could barely make ends meet I loved my job. As long as I got the job done, nobody tracked my hours or worried about where I was, and I did a really good job. Some weeks, I'd get excited and work 60 or 80 hours. Other weeks I'd be tired and only put in a few hours each day. I'd wake up in the middle of the night excited about projects, and be in the office at 5 a.m. to work during moments of inspiration. I met every deadline and exceeded everyone's expectations of me.
Now that I'm at a bigger organization, I am held to actual employment law and human resources standards. No unauthorized overtime, no short days if nothing's going on, regular hours, my boss wants to know what I'm up to all the time.
I still meet deadlines, I still exceed expectations, but I'm bored out of my mind. I can't come in three hours early when I'm inspired. I can't take the afternoon off if nothing's going on. I feel like I have no autonomy. It's killing me.
Complicating things, I am at a stage in my life where I can't just pick up and go any more. For the first time in years, I am living in a city with friends and family all around me. I'm recently married, and I just bought a house. My mortgage payments are dependent on a steady income.
I don't know what to do. Do I need to get my head out of the clouds and buckle down? And how can I do that? Am I lying to myself about loving this stuff, if I'm so miserable all the time?
I just want to love my job. Short of that, I'd at least like to feel motivated to try a little harder, to care about what I'm doing, to stop feeling like I'm wasting my life in a cubicle.