I hate working
July 11, 2007 6:24 AM Subscribe
I think I hate working. Or at least the part where I have a boss, and I sit in front of a computer all day for 8 hours, with a mandatory hour long lunch and two 15 minute breaks for 40 years. I feel this way a little more every day, even though I feel passionate about my field, generally like what I'm doing at the computer, and even have moments of euphoria when I do a really good job. Is there a cure that doesn't involve throwing away my financial security?
A few years ago, I was underpaid at a scrappy little illegitimate employer, and even though I hated my boss and could barely make ends meet I loved my job. As long as I got the job done, nobody tracked my hours or worried about where I was, and I did a really good job. Some weeks, I'd get excited and work 60 or 80 hours. Other weeks I'd be tired and only put in a few hours each day. I'd wake up in the middle of the night excited about projects, and be in the office at 5 a.m. to work during moments of inspiration. I met every deadline and exceeded everyone's expectations of me.
Now that I'm at a bigger organization, I am held to actual employment law and human resources standards. No unauthorized overtime, no short days if nothing's going on, regular hours, my boss wants to know what I'm up to all the time.
I still meet deadlines, I still exceed expectations, but I'm bored out of my mind. I can't come in three hours early when I'm inspired. I can't take the afternoon off if nothing's going on. I feel like I have no autonomy. It's killing me.
Complicating things, I am at a stage in my life where I can't just pick up and go any more. For the first time in years, I am living in a city with friends and family all around me. I'm recently married, and I just bought a house. My mortgage payments are dependent on a steady income.
I don't know what to do. Do I need to get my head out of the clouds and buckle down? And how can I do that? Am I lying to myself about loving this stuff, if I'm so miserable all the time?
I just want to love my job. Short of that, I'd at least like to feel motivated to try a little harder, to care about what I'm doing, to stop feeling like I'm wasting my life in a cubicle.
A few years ago, I was underpaid at a scrappy little illegitimate employer, and even though I hated my boss and could barely make ends meet I loved my job. As long as I got the job done, nobody tracked my hours or worried about where I was, and I did a really good job. Some weeks, I'd get excited and work 60 or 80 hours. Other weeks I'd be tired and only put in a few hours each day. I'd wake up in the middle of the night excited about projects, and be in the office at 5 a.m. to work during moments of inspiration. I met every deadline and exceeded everyone's expectations of me.
Now that I'm at a bigger organization, I am held to actual employment law and human resources standards. No unauthorized overtime, no short days if nothing's going on, regular hours, my boss wants to know what I'm up to all the time.
I still meet deadlines, I still exceed expectations, but I'm bored out of my mind. I can't come in three hours early when I'm inspired. I can't take the afternoon off if nothing's going on. I feel like I have no autonomy. It's killing me.
Complicating things, I am at a stage in my life where I can't just pick up and go any more. For the first time in years, I am living in a city with friends and family all around me. I'm recently married, and I just bought a house. My mortgage payments are dependent on a steady income.
I don't know what to do. Do I need to get my head out of the clouds and buckle down? And how can I do that? Am I lying to myself about loving this stuff, if I'm so miserable all the time?
I just want to love my job. Short of that, I'd at least like to feel motivated to try a little harder, to care about what I'm doing, to stop feeling like I'm wasting my life in a cubicle.
There are lots of jobs that offer the flexibility you describe. Smaller companies, creative companies, companies where you are valued not for your "face" time but for your work product. These also tend to be high paying jobs with higher levels of responsibility. Look around, you'll find something.
Also, the other solution to the boredom is to take on more work so that you are not stuck doing the same thing all time. If you are programming, take on more parts of the product, or make a move into product management or product development. If you have a lot of balls in the air to juggle, it won't feel quite so mindless and so boring.
posted by zia at 6:56 AM on July 11, 2007
Also, the other solution to the boredom is to take on more work so that you are not stuck doing the same thing all time. If you are programming, take on more parts of the product, or make a move into product management or product development. If you have a lot of balls in the air to juggle, it won't feel quite so mindless and so boring.
posted by zia at 6:56 AM on July 11, 2007
This exact problem is one of my unfortunate obsessions. It's an example of how our society and the people who run it value money over humanity.
One solution is to work your way out of debt and live a less expensive lifestyle. See the book "Your Money Or Your Life" for info on this.
Another solution is to go back to work for a smaller employer who can't afford to pay people enough to treat them like shit. This is what you had in your old job.
Another solution is to become self-employed. This is riskier and harder than just having a regular job, but can be potentially very rewarding and satisfying.
But, as four panels said, for the moment anyway, you've traded your freedom for the mortgage. But that doesn't mean you can't trade out and change course, depending on what the wife wants of course...
posted by DarkForest at 7:01 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
One solution is to work your way out of debt and live a less expensive lifestyle. See the book "Your Money Or Your Life" for info on this.
Another solution is to go back to work for a smaller employer who can't afford to pay people enough to treat them like shit. This is what you had in your old job.
Another solution is to become self-employed. This is riskier and harder than just having a regular job, but can be potentially very rewarding and satisfying.
But, as four panels said, for the moment anyway, you've traded your freedom for the mortgage. But that doesn't mean you can't trade out and change course, depending on what the wife wants of course...
posted by DarkForest at 7:01 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
I would just reiterate that you may not need to reinvent the wheel. Even amongst larger, more corporate entities, the culture can vary dramatically, and the odds are very good you can find something in your field (with comensurate reward for your knowledge and experience) that will give you some of the flexibility/creativity you're craving.
Dedicate yourself to doing the best job possible right now*, and keep your eyes and ears open to possibility.
*When I found myself some years back in your position (a place with scheduled, mandatory breaks and a rigid start and stop time) I found I could stay focused by taking the situation as a challenge: "I'll show you, you can't break me with your ticky-tacky rules and regulations, I'll work so hard and so well you'll beg me to stay when I finally give notice"...etc.).
Good luck!
posted by jalexei at 7:11 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
Dedicate yourself to doing the best job possible right now*, and keep your eyes and ears open to possibility.
*When I found myself some years back in your position (a place with scheduled, mandatory breaks and a rigid start and stop time) I found I could stay focused by taking the situation as a challenge: "I'll show you, you can't break me with your ticky-tacky rules and regulations, I'll work so hard and so well you'll beg me to stay when I finally give notice"...etc.).
Good luck!
posted by jalexei at 7:11 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
At least one aspect of your problem is short term. If you do a good job, you'll quickly be promoted to a "non-exempt" role where you'll make more money overall -- but won't be entitled to overtime. You'll be encouraged to come in early and skip lunch or breaks if you're inspired. You'll naturally get more autonomy as you progress.
However, this won't remove accountability to your boss or necessarily create the freedom regularly to leave early if things are slow. Moving to a smaller or more entrepreneurial place won't necessarily do that either -- your boss there is more likely to have skin in the game and hence less likely to tolerate less than 100% effort.
You might want to consider whether the real problem is the hours or the boss but the very nature of your work. You don't have a prison sentence to sit on your butt in front of a computer all day -- some people need more variety or even just more fresh air.
There are plenty of options, that don't require you to abandon your obligation to family and mortgage lender.
You might want to think about getting into sales -- constantly in motion, constantly challenged, constantly interacting with new people, high control over your schedule. Heck, you could become a cop -- cops in big cities are hired and promoted strictly on the basis of standardized tests -- a magic formula for the typical MeFite smart-ass.
posted by MattD at 7:20 AM on July 11, 2007
However, this won't remove accountability to your boss or necessarily create the freedom regularly to leave early if things are slow. Moving to a smaller or more entrepreneurial place won't necessarily do that either -- your boss there is more likely to have skin in the game and hence less likely to tolerate less than 100% effort.
You might want to consider whether the real problem is the hours or the boss but the very nature of your work. You don't have a prison sentence to sit on your butt in front of a computer all day -- some people need more variety or even just more fresh air.
There are plenty of options, that don't require you to abandon your obligation to family and mortgage lender.
You might want to think about getting into sales -- constantly in motion, constantly challenged, constantly interacting with new people, high control over your schedule. Heck, you could become a cop -- cops in big cities are hired and promoted strictly on the basis of standardized tests -- a magic formula for the typical MeFite smart-ass.
posted by MattD at 7:20 AM on July 11, 2007
Start your own company. Hire a small team of creatives who you can trust, and otherwise structure your own time in a way that maximizes your abilities and won't bring you boredom. Think of the bigger picture.
Easier said than done, I realize, but plenty have done it, especially in the last decade.
posted by deern the headlice at 7:51 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
Easier said than done, I realize, but plenty have done it, especially in the last decade.
posted by deern the headlice at 7:51 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
Start by making sure your boss understands what an asset you are to the company. Make sure that you really perform well, and that your boss knows it. Over time, gently let your boss understand that the constraints of the 9-5 office don't necessarily fit your preferred work style, and that you will work more as needed, if you are allowed some flexibility. Develop a proposal to work from home 16 hours a week, or some other creative option that might help you cope. The proposal should be about ways this will help the company, and be painless for them. If they say no, nothing lost, but they might say yes.
I've been self-employed, and the lack of security, IRS headaches, health insurance, pension, etc., make me appreciate the joy of having an employer.
Having a mortgage starts to limit flexibility. Having a child really does; it's nice if you or your wife has health insurance through work. So, if you have any thoughts about starting your own company, better to be established before having kids, if kids are part of your plan.
Can you use that slack time at work do anything creative? (Remote desktop to home machine. Don't do creative stuff on the work pc in a corp. this tight.).
Start networking in your industry to find out about other companies. In the long run, you may want to find an employer who's a better match.
posted by theora55 at 8:25 AM on July 11, 2007
I've been self-employed, and the lack of security, IRS headaches, health insurance, pension, etc., make me appreciate the joy of having an employer.
Having a mortgage starts to limit flexibility. Having a child really does; it's nice if you or your wife has health insurance through work. So, if you have any thoughts about starting your own company, better to be established before having kids, if kids are part of your plan.
Can you use that slack time at work do anything creative? (Remote desktop to home machine. Don't do creative stuff on the work pc in a corp. this tight.).
Start networking in your industry to find out about other companies. In the long run, you may want to find an employer who's a better match.
posted by theora55 at 8:25 AM on July 11, 2007
Yeah, it sounds like you have passion and drive, which I think are two of the most key attributes for someone who wants to be their own boss. One cannot be a slacker and hope to succeed as a self-employed contractor, but you're no slacker.
I don't know what you do for a living, but predicated on the notion that it's the kind of thing that you could do from a home office for a client outside of normal business hours, consider that option. And if it works out, expand your contracting into the daytime (and thus, quit your job).
Here's an example: Joe is an intermediate editor, working a cubicle job 40 hours a week, making about $25/hour. It's soul-sucking, but he has benefits. But it's the kind of work that he could be doing on his own, contracting out at $75/hour but without benefits. Once he's built up enough of a client base such that he can charge out 15-20 hours a week in his spare time (that's only 3-4 hours an evening, which is sustainable for months or years if you have drive and passion) it's feasible for Joe to quit his job and expand.
I know a lot of people who've done it -- even people with mortgages, kids and debt. (I know editors who do nothing but edit copy on RFPs and proposals, work 15 hours a week, make more money than I do and are able to write off their office costs).
Me, I don't think I could do it, as my passions are not work-related. I'd slack off and find myself without rent money. I'm more than happy to be a drone for 40 hours a week and indulge my interests after work.
You, though, should consider it.
posted by solid-one-love at 8:55 AM on July 11, 2007 [2 favorites]
I don't know what you do for a living, but predicated on the notion that it's the kind of thing that you could do from a home office for a client outside of normal business hours, consider that option. And if it works out, expand your contracting into the daytime (and thus, quit your job).
Here's an example: Joe is an intermediate editor, working a cubicle job 40 hours a week, making about $25/hour. It's soul-sucking, but he has benefits. But it's the kind of work that he could be doing on his own, contracting out at $75/hour but without benefits. Once he's built up enough of a client base such that he can charge out 15-20 hours a week in his spare time (that's only 3-4 hours an evening, which is sustainable for months or years if you have drive and passion) it's feasible for Joe to quit his job and expand.
I know a lot of people who've done it -- even people with mortgages, kids and debt. (I know editors who do nothing but edit copy on RFPs and proposals, work 15 hours a week, make more money than I do and are able to write off their office costs).
Me, I don't think I could do it, as my passions are not work-related. I'd slack off and find myself without rent money. I'm more than happy to be a drone for 40 hours a week and indulge my interests after work.
You, though, should consider it.
posted by solid-one-love at 8:55 AM on July 11, 2007 [2 favorites]
Alot of good advice so far in the answers above ...
Keep working hard BUT also keep your eyes and ears open for creative opportunities. They come up more often than you think/expect.
I went through the same phase.. where I was stuck in a very rigid 40 hour a week situation that didnt value my creativity or drive. I wasnt able to "see" a way out.. so it ended up driving me into the ground (literally into mental breakdown).
Dont let that happen to you. Believe in yourself and your creativity/drive/passion. Make sure you do creative things (if not in your job, in your hobbies or family life).. If you have gut feelings about opportunities.. TAKE THEM.. you never know where they might lead.
posted by jmnugent at 9:19 AM on July 11, 2007
Keep working hard BUT also keep your eyes and ears open for creative opportunities. They come up more often than you think/expect.
I went through the same phase.. where I was stuck in a very rigid 40 hour a week situation that didnt value my creativity or drive. I wasnt able to "see" a way out.. so it ended up driving me into the ground (literally into mental breakdown).
Dont let that happen to you. Believe in yourself and your creativity/drive/passion. Make sure you do creative things (if not in your job, in your hobbies or family life).. If you have gut feelings about opportunities.. TAKE THEM.. you never know where they might lead.
posted by jmnugent at 9:19 AM on July 11, 2007
I have been exactly where you are, and took a huge chance on financial security (took a $30K pay cut) with the support of my wonderful family.
so many good comments above; I'll try to pull what worked for me when I did this. I agree with the comment that culture varies even within a general corporate structure. So you should probably start putting feelers out for a similar job (pay, output, etc.) somewhere that might suit your style better. It could be that you've just landed in a bad fit.
Try other types of institutions that can use your abilities. Midsize not-for-profits often have pretty good compensation packages and very flexible working conditions, as well as people who match your somewhat quirky and passionate responses to specific task management.
What I did was develop a second income source (teaching my hobby-- which I do at a very high level--freelance for various park districts) that gave me a solid cushion while I developed a consulting business. Now, about 5 years into it, I've recovered 80% of the income I had lost, with the other 20% made up in way lowered expenses (no power suits, no parking, no downtown lunches) not to mention that I'm far happier. Within certain constraints, my time and my output are my own, and all my various employers (I work for 3 park districts and have 4 regular clients), seem happy, as they keep hiring me back.
For instance, I'm sitting here at 11 in the morning talking to you!
In other words, what solid-one-love said. If you start thinking longish-term now, I bet you can fix this within a couple of years, before you start resenting your spouse and your house for putting you in this position. It was a very scary, not to mention crazy thing to do, and I couldn't have done it without my kids and my husband really behind me, but it was well worth it.
posted by nax at 9:23 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
so many good comments above; I'll try to pull what worked for me when I did this. I agree with the comment that culture varies even within a general corporate structure. So you should probably start putting feelers out for a similar job (pay, output, etc.) somewhere that might suit your style better. It could be that you've just landed in a bad fit.
Try other types of institutions that can use your abilities. Midsize not-for-profits often have pretty good compensation packages and very flexible working conditions, as well as people who match your somewhat quirky and passionate responses to specific task management.
What I did was develop a second income source (teaching my hobby-- which I do at a very high level--freelance for various park districts) that gave me a solid cushion while I developed a consulting business. Now, about 5 years into it, I've recovered 80% of the income I had lost, with the other 20% made up in way lowered expenses (no power suits, no parking, no downtown lunches) not to mention that I'm far happier. Within certain constraints, my time and my output are my own, and all my various employers (I work for 3 park districts and have 4 regular clients), seem happy, as they keep hiring me back.
For instance, I'm sitting here at 11 in the morning talking to you!
In other words, what solid-one-love said. If you start thinking longish-term now, I bet you can fix this within a couple of years, before you start resenting your spouse and your house for putting you in this position. It was a very scary, not to mention crazy thing to do, and I couldn't have done it without my kids and my husband really behind me, but it was well worth it.
posted by nax at 9:23 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
With the right attitude, making work fun is just another problem that can be worked out using analytical and creative thinking. Call it "Project X" or something. You need to be prepared to write down the things that are bothering you, challenge all your assumptions, and find creative ways to make it more interesting. It might be useful for you to read something like Feeling Good by David Burns for strategies you can use to analyze and change your own thinking, and maybe one or two of Edward de Bono's books on creative problem solving in general. I think you will find that you've got much more capacity to change things than you think.
If you can manage to settle in and feel comfortable in the routine, the predictability can provide a lot of benefits for the rest of your life - things like being home in time to prepare dinner and eat with your spouse every day for example. It's not all bad.
posted by teleskiving at 11:10 AM on July 11, 2007 [2 favorites]
If you can manage to settle in and feel comfortable in the routine, the predictability can provide a lot of benefits for the rest of your life - things like being home in time to prepare dinner and eat with your spouse every day for example. It's not all bad.
posted by teleskiving at 11:10 AM on July 11, 2007 [2 favorites]
I would just like to thoroughly second this question. I've been struggling with the same thing myself. I'm an exempt employee in a place where flexible work hours are okay but still, knowing I have to put in 40 hours, rather than having to "get done what I want to get done" somehow deflates all my motivation such that it instead feels like I'm just supposed to be present. Even though I care about all those tasks I do during my 40 hours. It's something of a mystery.
The only things that seem to help a tiny bit are -- 1) great to do lists in the GTD mode, so I never feel like I'm just putting in time even on the days I'm 100% unmotivated, 2) telling myself I can go home as soon as I'm finished (so I can leave early some days), and 3) making plans for right at 5:30 so I never work late.
posted by ruff at 4:17 PM on July 11, 2007
The only things that seem to help a tiny bit are -- 1) great to do lists in the GTD mode, so I never feel like I'm just putting in time even on the days I'm 100% unmotivated, 2) telling myself I can go home as soon as I'm finished (so I can leave early some days), and 3) making plans for right at 5:30 so I never work late.
posted by ruff at 4:17 PM on July 11, 2007
Have you ever tried consultancy? It may give you the best of both worlds in that you get the security of a regular corporation position (including the health benefits, regular income and constancy that your personal circumstances may require) but you still get some freedom.
Don't get me wrong, it is still corporate job and it is inevitable that there is some level of managerial control over work, however, you may well get to manage your own projects (up to the delivery/deadline stage) and thus spend your time as you see fit. One thing that I like about my job is that I don't have to be there when there is nothing to do. The culture of the company sees it as worthless and demotivating. Go home, go windsurfing, go play a round of golf, or in my case, read a book, whatever, but if you have nothing to do at work then it is fine to take off. At the same time, if I have a deadline then that is when things are expected to be done and no amount of bullshitting and evasion will avoid that. I get the impression that this is unlikely to be an issue with you though as you can work on your own.
Also, a word on corporate culture and values. As others have said, these vary greatly from place to place and you may find that a company in a very similar marketplace (perhaps even a direct competitor) has a very different approach to employee relations and work monitoring than that of your present employer.
I am not some kind of cheerleader for my job, I get really pissed off with it some times and I do get annoyed with putting in long hours but then I think that I would rather have the control over my time- as long as the project is delivered on time as expected- than constantly having some supervisor watching me like a hawk. Despite the fact that people may say that it's all about the greenbacks, when push comes to shove most people in professional positions appear to place a higher emphasis on autonomy and control over their own work than on the money.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 4:12 AM on July 12, 2007
Don't get me wrong, it is still corporate job and it is inevitable that there is some level of managerial control over work, however, you may well get to manage your own projects (up to the delivery/deadline stage) and thus spend your time as you see fit. One thing that I like about my job is that I don't have to be there when there is nothing to do. The culture of the company sees it as worthless and demotivating. Go home, go windsurfing, go play a round of golf, or in my case, read a book, whatever, but if you have nothing to do at work then it is fine to take off. At the same time, if I have a deadline then that is when things are expected to be done and no amount of bullshitting and evasion will avoid that. I get the impression that this is unlikely to be an issue with you though as you can work on your own.
Also, a word on corporate culture and values. As others have said, these vary greatly from place to place and you may find that a company in a very similar marketplace (perhaps even a direct competitor) has a very different approach to employee relations and work monitoring than that of your present employer.
I am not some kind of cheerleader for my job, I get really pissed off with it some times and I do get annoyed with putting in long hours but then I think that I would rather have the control over my time- as long as the project is delivered on time as expected- than constantly having some supervisor watching me like a hawk. Despite the fact that people may say that it's all about the greenbacks, when push comes to shove most people in professional positions appear to place a higher emphasis on autonomy and control over their own work than on the money.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 4:12 AM on July 12, 2007
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You've traded your freedom, I'm sorry to say, but at least you may be able to find something not so corporate.
The idea is to find a small company - small softtware company, maybe an architecture firm, somewhere where there is a sense of the creative, and at the same time not so large that HR has to keep their salary by getting all up in your business.
I wish you were more specific regarding your "computer job." Software development/systems analysts/IT jobs are the easiest to move around in. Just don't be afraid. Fear is the mindkiller, you know. And life is so very, very short.
posted by four panels at 6:35 AM on July 11, 2007 [3 favorites]