Stop talking smack.
July 8, 2007 11:50 AM Subscribe
How can I stop gossiping and repair my image?
posted by anonymous to human relations (20 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I gossip occasionally, and I always feel terrible the day after a gossip session. Recently I said something about a friend to two other mutual friends that went something like this, "Jane said XYZ at Pierre's the other night. Isn't that crazy? Oh, but don't get me wrong, I love Jane!"
The next day I felt terrible. I feel like a flake. I question my intentions. Why would I even mention that? Am I trying to belong? Do I want people to know I am above saying something such as Jane said?
I want to stop gossiping but I feel like I've already ruined my image. I don't want to be a person that flippantly makes snarky remarks about friends. I don't gossip constantly. Most of the time my outings with friends are gossip-free. I would never retell a damaging secret or say something mean-spirited, but I do gossip in a way that would be hurtful if the party in question knew what I was saying. Comments such as, "She isnt' a very warm person, she has built a wall around herself." Or, "She's in a mountain of debt, but she still buys Jimmy Choo's."
It's relatively easy to create a new rule for myself: Stop gossiping. But, how do I repair my image with my existing friends? I don't want to gossip anymore, and I don't want to be perceived as a person that gossips.
I've read that it is common to gossip with friends. But I feel like it's something that should have stopped post high-school. Is this true? How bad is it to gossip? I don't like the feelings of guilt I have after I gossip, but I do it anyway.