Sexist songs? (Jazz and lounge edition)

May 10, 2007 11:50 AM

I'm looking for mid-century pop songs with sexist lyrics. Think Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin singing about how nice it is to have a "girl" cooking dinner at home. Or about all the pretty "girls" out on the street. The lounge feel is what I'm after, though anything jazzy ought to work. Please help me annoy my wife!

Some examples of songs that meet my requirements:

Wives and Lovers
"...Wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.
He's almost here, hey, little girl, better wear something pretty,
Something you wear to go to the city,
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music, time to get ready for love.
Time to get ready for love, yes it's time to get ready for love,
It's time to get ready, kick your shoes off, baby..."

Standing on the Corner
"Standing on a corner watching all the girls go by
Standing on a corner watching all the girls go by
Brother you don't know a nicer occupation
Matter of fact, neither do I
Than standing on a corner watching all the girls
Watching all the girls, watching all the girls go by"

posted by jdroth to media & arts (73 comments total)

He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss) - The Crystals, 1962. It's a little more R & B than J & L, but it's not to be missed.
posted by clockwork at 12:01 PM on May 10, 2007

Satisfy Me One More Time by Frank Sinatra might work. I finally tracked it down on an obscure import from Amazon.
posted by brownbeards at 12:04 PM on May 10, 2007

There's If You Wanna Be Happy by Jimmy Soul.
posted by cerebus19 at 12:04 PM on May 10, 2007

Johnny Get Angry by Joanie Sommers.
posted by billysumday at 12:05 PM on May 10, 2007

Mucha Muchacha by Esquivel
posted by Pollomacho at 12:06 PM on May 10, 2007

What Am I Gonna Do With You? by Leslie Gore.
posted by billysumday at 12:10 PM on May 10, 2007

I'm not sure who's recorded it so I don't know if there are jazzy non-instrumental versions, but the lyrics to Slow Boat to China are the latest to set my teeth on edge. (I want to take you somewhere where I can "seduce" you and you won't be able to escape! Woo, consent! Sigh.)

There's also I'm a Girl Watcher.
posted by occhiblu at 12:12 PM on May 10, 2007

"I Enjoy Being a Girl," from Flower Drum Song. Lyrics here. My all-girls college prep school glee club had to sing this in the 1980s.

"I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place.
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,
Like a filly who is ready for the race!"
posted by GaelFC at 12:15 PM on May 10, 2007

2nd "I'm a Girl Watcher". A song that drives my mom nuts when my dad plays it is "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me", by Dusty Springfield. I wouldn't call it Jazz or Lounge but it definitely fits the bill, and I would bet money that your wife will react pretty much like my mom does.
posted by crinklebat at 12:21 PM on May 10, 2007

Elvis's Girls! Girls! Girls! never fails to raise a smile. A friend once put it on a mixtape, labelled only as the 'Official Marching Song of the University of Sussex'.
posted by jonathanbell at 12:23 PM on May 10, 2007

How about "A Guy Is a Guy"

Doris Day covers it

http://ntl.matrix.com.br/pfilho/html/lyrics/g/guy_is_a_guy.txt
posted by jenfu at 12:26 PM on May 10, 2007

Look for Me, I'll Be Around was apparently originally done by Sarah Vaughn, though Google would seem to indicate that Neko Case's version is much easier to find.

Black Coffee done by Ella should also work.

(Some of us, including me, are assuming that songs done by women fit what you're looking for -- if that's not the case, let us know!)
posted by occhiblu at 12:28 PM on May 10, 2007

Wishing and Hoping:

Show him that you care just for him,
do the things that he likes to do,
wear your hair just for him,
cause you won't get him, thinking and a praying
wishing and a hoping
posted by amarynth at 12:28 PM on May 10, 2007

Having my Baby by Paul Anka makes me a little ill.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:33 PM on May 10, 2007

Stand By Your Man has always annoyed me.
posted by nuclear_soup at 12:33 PM on May 10, 2007

Two by Frank Loesser. Of course ...

Baby, It's Cold Outside (1944):
"Brr its cold….
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well…..I really shouldn't...alright

Make it worth your while baby
Ahh, do that again…."

And, not quite sexist, but pretty raunchy...

If I Were a Bell (1955):
"Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're fondly caressing
Oh, if I were a salad
I know I’d be splashing my dressing"
posted by GarageWine at 12:37 PM on May 10, 2007

She'll have no crap games with sharpies and frauds
And she won't go to Harlem in Lincolns or Fords
And she won't dish the dirt with the rest of the broads
That's why the lady is a tramp
posted by malocchio at 12:37 PM on May 10, 2007

Love The One You're With. Infidelity, misogyny, and casual sex as a depression cure...this one's got it all!
posted by backupjesus at 12:40 PM on May 10, 2007

My Funny Valentine?
posted by drezdn at 12:41 PM on May 10, 2007

You should take a look at the most recent two albums by Adam Green, but especially the very latest, Jacket Full of Danger. He's taken the misogynistic, self-obsessed lounge singer persona to a postmodern extreme. Sample lyric (from "Party Line"):

...
Here comes Brady with his fifty dollar baby
Coming out the alleyway
And here comes Davey with his funny little lady
Wiping all her tears away

Those guys, they cause you to fantasize
They dish it out, they make you comply like a man
Those guys have money for you anytime
But you never make out with them

Making out with the funny little lady
What you gonna do right now?
Making love with a funny little woman
Don't you wanna take me down?
...

Shuffle it in with Sinatra etc. for maximum mindblowing effect.
posted by contraption at 12:43 PM on May 10, 2007

Wives and Lovers by Burt Bacharach
posted by sageleaf at 12:51 PM on May 10, 2007

Sorry Ray Charles.

"I got a woman way over town that's good to me oh yeah
Say I got a woman way over town good to me oh yeah
She give me money when Im in need
Yeah she's a kind of friend indeed
I got a woman way over town that's good to me oh yeah

...

She's there to love me both day and night
Never grumbles or fusses always treats me right
Never runnin in the streets and leavin me alone
She knows a womans place is right there now in her home."

Sigh.
posted by santojulieta at 12:55 PM on May 10, 2007

Making Whoopee. a choice lyric:

"Picture a little love nest out where roses bloom in spring. Picture that same sweet love nest, see what a year can bring. He's washing dishes, and baby clothes, he's so ambitious, man he even sews! It's really thrillin', this cat's so willin' to make whoopee."

lyrics from memory, might not be perfect.
posted by shmegegge at 12:58 PM on May 10, 2007

Angelique-O, sung by Harry Belafonte
posted by briank at 1:03 PM on May 10, 2007

Here are three mildly misogynistic mid-century songs that I love anyway, despite being a huge feminazi:

Make an Ugly Woman Your Wife (not jazzy at all--more like yelly, but for me, the quintessential sexist song).

A Little Less Conversation, Elvis Presley: "shut your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me"

Take a Letter Maria -- basically a guy hitting on his secretary while dictating a letter to her about what a slut his wife is.
posted by lampoil at 1:04 PM on May 10, 2007

Actually, you are missing most of the song Makin' Whoopee. Most people miss the complete lyrics, but I always sing them because it's actually quite a funny, if bitter little song about divorce & cheating. Sinatra didn't sing the extra lyrics, for whatever reason (not like he was unfamiliar with divorce or cheating!)... so people who know the song from him have probably never heard them. I highly recommend Ray Charles' version. And then mine. :)

Another bride, another June
Another sunny honeymoon
Another season, another reason
For makin' whoopee

A lot of shoes, a lot of rice
The groom is nervous, he answers twice
It's really killin' that he's so willin'
To make whoopee

   Picture a little love nest
   Down where the roses cling
   Picture the same sweet love nest
   And think what one year can bring

He's washin' dishes and baby clothes
He's so ambitious he even sews
But don't forget folks
That's what you get folks, for makin' whoopee

**Second Chorus**

Another year, or maybe less
What's this I hear? Well you can guess
She feels neglected, and he's suspected
Of making whoopee

She sits alone, most every night
He doesn't phone; he doesn't write
He says he's busy, but she says "Is he?"
He's making whoopee

   He doesn't make much money
   Only five thousand per
   Some judge who thinks he's funny
   Says you'll pay six to her

He says, "Now judge, suppose I fail?"
The judge says: "Well, just hop right into jail"
You'd better keep her, I think it's cheaper
Than making whoopee
posted by miss lynnster at 1:10 PM on May 10, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Traveling Man, by Ricky Nelson, could possibly be lounge-y.

Come a Little Bit Closer plays up the whole sultry latina slut angle, so you get sexism and racism all packed up in one convenient package.

(Both of those were favorites of mine when I was growing up and I'll be bopping around humming them the rest of the day. "So big and so strong!")
posted by occhiblu at 1:13 PM on May 10, 2007

By the way, if by misogyny you are also including songs where women are singing about themselves like they aren't worth crap, I highly recommend the original lyrics that Billie Holiday sang for both "Don't Explain" & "My Man."

'Cuz of course it doesn't matter where your lover man's been, who he's been out with, or how much he beats you. Since he finally came home, it confirms that he obviously wants you even though as a human being you clearly have less value than week-old garbage on a stick.

DON'T EXPLAIN
Hush now, don't explain
Just say you'll remain
Unless you're mad, don't explain
(Also sang as "I'm glad you're back, don't explain")

My love, don't explain
What is there to gain
Skip that lipstick
Don't explain

     You know that I love you
     And what loving does
     All my thoughts are real
     For I'm so completely yours

     Try to hear folks chatter
     And I know you cheat
     Right or wrong, don't matter
     When you're with me, sweet

Hush now, don't explain
You're my love and pain
My life's your love
Don't explain

MY MAN
It cost me a lot
But there’s one thing that I’ve got
It’s my man
It’s my man

Cold & wet
Tired, you bet
All of this I’ll soon forget
With my man

He’s not much on looks
He’s no hero out of books
But I love him
Yes, I love him

Two or three girls
Has he
That he likes as well as me
But I love him

     I don’t know why I should
     He isn’t true
     He beats me, too
     What can I do?

Oh, my man, I love him so
He’ll never know
All my life is just dispair
But I don’t care
When he takes me in his arms
The world is bright
All right

What’s the difference if I say
I’ll go away
When I know I’ll come back
On my knees someday

For whatever my man is
I’m his
forevermore
posted by miss lynnster at 1:22 PM on May 10, 2007

Just realized nobody included uber macho Bobby Troup's "Girl Talk" yet either. Lord do I hate this song with all of my heart & soul. BLEECCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

GIRL TALK
We like to chat about the dresses we will wear tonight
we chew the fat about our tresses and the neighbors' fight
inconsequential things, men don't really care to know
become essential things that girls all find so apropos

     don't complain
     please take my hand
     just understand
     the sweetest
     girl talk (2x)

we all meow about the ups and downs of all our friends
the who, the how, the why, we dish the dirt, it never ends
the weaker sex, the speaker sex you mortal males behold
but though we joke, we wouldn't trade you for a sack of gold

     so baby stay
     and gab away
     just hear me say
     the sweetest
     girl talk (2x)

we all meow about the ups and downs of all our friends
the who, the how, the why, we dish the dirt, it never ends
the weaker sex, the speaker sex you mortal males behold
but though we joke, we wouldn't trade you for a sack of gold

     it's all been planned
     please take my hand
     just understand
     the sweetest
     girl talk (2x)

     the sweetest
     girl talk (2x)

     the sweetest
     girl talk
     talks of you

Yeah... 'cuz of course since I'm a girl I'm dumb as bricks and you're a fascinating big strong man! Naturally the only way I could POSSIBLY say anything important would be if the topic was YOU! Hee hee! I like puppies and pink lace stuff! Wheeee! I LOVE LIVINT IN STEPFORD!

[Bats around a ball of pretty string with a blank expression on my face]
posted by miss lynnster at 1:32 PM on May 10, 2007

living
posted by miss lynnster at 1:33 PM on May 10, 2007

For My Funny Valentine, that would be misygynist except that it was originally written from a man's perspective. Lorenz Hart was a very, very miserable guy & he wrote it about how he wished someone would feel about him.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:35 PM on May 10, 2007

I heard a song by Sara Vaughn on the radio once talking about how much she loved cooking and cleaning to make her man happy--I believe it was called "Homework".
posted by LionIndex at 1:49 PM on May 10, 2007

This is not quite lounge, but it'll do. Marcie Blane's "Who's Gonna Take My Daddy's Place?" is not only mildly sexist, it's more than a little bit creepy.

Who's gonna take my Daddy's place, who'll give me lots of love? Who's gonna take my Daddy's place? You're the boy I'm thinkin' of!

... I need someone to scold me, when I'm bad ... every girl needs a boy who will carry on for dear old Dad ...

But even big girls need someone who will lead them every step of the way ...
posted by adipocere at 1:53 PM on May 10, 2007

Seconding "Baby It's Cold Outside." It's much loved, but I guess people aren't listening to the lyrics too closely. It's practically a date rape song.
posted by yellowbinder at 1:59 PM on May 10, 2007

Great answers so far. Keep 'em coming. I know I included misogynistic as a tag, but I'm really looking more for sexist songs. (In other words, not overtly hateful or violent toward women — just full of outdated ideas.) "Baby It's Cold Outside" is a great choice, as is "Makin' Whoopee". I only have the original version of the latter. I wonder if I can find a jazzy version...
posted by jdroth at 2:04 PM on May 10, 2007

Mountain Greenery by Rogers & Hart
"And if you're good
I'll search for wood
so you can cook
while i stand looking."
posted by cior at 2:18 PM on May 10, 2007

Where Is The Life That Late I Led?
posted by fings at 2:18 PM on May 10, 2007

Jazz geek that I am... I can tell you that the true original version of Makin' Whoopee was actually by Eddie Cantor in 1928 (The song was written for the Broadway musical Whoopee! which was then made into a 1930 film).

I would most definitely recommend Ray Charles' version the highest. Unfortunately, I don't see it on itunes. I do, however, see Julie London's version on there and I know she does sing all of the lyrics. I would also recommend Dinah Washington's version -- because Dinah ROCKS & is clearly "jazzy" -- but I'm just not 100% confident whether or not her recording includes the second chorus. Can't remember off the top of my head.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:29 PM on May 10, 2007

Sixty-minute man, sixty-minute man
Look a here girls I'm telling you now
They call me "Lovin' Dan"
I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
I'm a sixty-minute man

If you don't believe I'm all that I say
Come up and take my hand
When I let you go you'll cry "Oh yes"
"He's a sixty-minute man".

There'll be fifteen minutes of kissin'
Then you'll holler "Please don't stop" (Don't stop!)
There'll be fifteen minutes of teasin'
Fifteen minutes of squeezin'
And fifteen minutes of blowin' my top!
posted by Skot at 2:30 PM on May 10, 2007

South of the Border is a twofer: a love 'em and leave 'em attitude plus cultural stereotypes!

South of the border down Mexico way
That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play
And now that I wander
My thoughts ever stray
South of the border down Mexico way

Ah, she was a picture in old Spanish lace
Just for a tender while I kissed the smile upon her face
It was fiesta we were so gay
South of the border down Mexico way

Then she sighed as she whispered manana
Never dreamed that we were parting
And I lied as I whispered manana
For tomorrow never came

South of the border I jumped backed one day
There in a veil of white by the candle light knelt to pray
Ah, the mission bells told me that I must not stay
South of the border down Mexico way

I yi yi yi I I I I
I yi yi yi
I yi yi yi
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 2:38 PM on May 10, 2007

Well it's got a dixieland jazz backing so maybe it counts?

Hard Headed Woman by Elvis from King Creole...

Well a hard headed woman,
a soft hearted man
been the cause of trouble
ever since the world began.
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been
a thorn in the side of man.

Now Adam told to Eve,
"Listen here to me,
don't you let me catch you
messin' round that apple tree."
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been
a thorn in the side of man.

Now Samson told Delilah
loud and clear,
"Keep your cotton pickin' fingers
out my curly hair."
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been
a thorn in the side of man.

I heard about a king
who was doin' swell
till he started playing
with that evil Jezebel.
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been a thorn in the side of man.

I got a woman,
a head like a rock.
If she ever went away
I'd cry around the clock.
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been
a thorn in the side of man.
posted by merocet at 2:48 PM on May 10, 2007

Oh, and as for outdated lyrics... I will never totally get The Lady Is A Tramp, that song is so outdated it just MAKES NO SENSE. Half of the things it describes as "trampy" just seem to be common sense or smart behavior. I mean, never going to a Noel Coward party doesn't seem to imply a girl is a tramp. Likewise, liking the theatre but never coming late seems polite. Same with staying awake in the opera. On top of that, I don't know why anyone would NEED to wear ermine & pearls to go to Harlem, dishing dirt with the girls is tacky, and California is only cold & damp if you're in San Francisco.

And then of course there's this:
I like the green grass under my shoes.
What can I lose?
I'm flat! That's that!
I'm all alone when I lower my lamp.
That's why the lady is a tramp.

So she's a tramp because she likes walking barefoot, doesn't have much money, and she's got no man in her bed? To be a tramp, doesn't that usually imply that there IS a man in your bed? Or possibly a couple of them?

So confused. As Dizzy would say, please advise.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:49 PM on May 10, 2007

Oh and Hymn to Him from My Fair Lady. The fact that it's not jazz is far outweighed by the jaw dropping greatness of the lyric ;-)

Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating hags!

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like us?
[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?
posted by merocet at 2:51 PM on May 10, 2007

If any one can shed light on The Lady is a Tramp, I'd be grateful, too. I think that it's a favorable song about her, even though he's calling her a Tramp. I think he likes her. I don't think this is quite an example of a sexist jazzy song. Maybe, in the argot of the day, Tramp is a good word.
posted by sweetkid at 3:15 PM on May 10, 2007

"She's a Lady" by Tom Jones (written by Paul Anka):

Well, she's all you'd ever want
She's the kind I'd like to flaunt
And take to dinner

But she always knows her place
She's got style, she's got grace
She's a winner
posted by evilcolonel at 3:19 PM on May 10, 2007

Tom Jones--She's a Lady
Well she's all you'd ever want
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner
Well she always knows her place
She's got style, she's got grace, she's a winner.
posted by lovecrafty at 3:21 PM on May 10, 2007

d'oh! Should've previewed!
posted by lovecrafty at 3:21 PM on May 10, 2007

Maybe I Know by Leslie Gore.

(I think that Neil Sedaka wrote it but not sure and don't care to take the time to check.)
posted by Danf at 3:22 PM on May 10, 2007

miss lynnster, by way of returning the favor:

the important thing to remember about The Lady Is a Tramp is that it's about OTHER people calling her one. The narrator, her boyfriend/husbad/whatever, is describing all the reasons they call her one because those reasons are why he loves her. He is condemning the ones who call her such and celebrating her individuality and spirit. It is one of the most confusingly worded but lovely expressions of affection in jazz in my opinion. almost everyone I know in my age group (late 20s) or younger hates it until it's explained to them.
posted by shmegegge at 3:23 PM on May 10, 2007

I've always thought that "The Lady Is a Tramp" is defending, not attacking, the lady in question. The gist of it seems to be, "She's unconventional, and doesn't do what the other girls do, therefore she gets called a tramp."
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 3:25 PM on May 10, 2007

"Johnny Get Angry" has to be one of the worst songs ever written.

Soul-wise, Sam Cooke has a song called "Sugar Dumpling" that strikes me as fairly patronizing:

Now whenever I'm hungry
I tell her, fix me something to eat
She rushes in the kitchen
And fixes me a dinner with
Seven different kinds of meat

Another good one (though more R&B and less jazzy) is "First I Look at the Purse," originally by the Contours, later covered (more energetically) by the J. Geils Band.

Some fellas look at the eyes
Some fellas look at the nose
Some fellas look at the size
Some fellas look at the clothes
I don't care if her eyes are red
I don't care if her nose is long
I don't care if she's underfed
I don't care if her clothes are worn
First I look at the purse!

So not quite lounge, but kinda smooth, if your playlist expands. Lotsa good answers in here already.
posted by theoddball at 4:01 PM on May 10, 2007

I've got a great one for you: Eydie Gorme, "Guess I Should Have Loved Him More" (you can get it here , here, or here).

It's mid-century jazz, it has that smooth lounge sound you're looking for -- and (bonus prize!) it's sung by a woman wallowing in her own oppression. It's sure to irritate any right-thinking woman. Here are some lyrics (from memory, so pardon any mistakes):

Once he was mine,
Body and soul he was mine.
But it's not that way now,
He's beginning to stray now.
Guess I should have loved him more.

I should have been kinder, warmer, more understanding,
Not tried to rule him -- even ridicule him --
I should have been much less demanding.

... and so on. I actually love listening to this song (it's quite beautiful), but the only way I can do it is to pretend she's being sarcastic.
posted by ourobouros at 5:08 PM on May 10, 2007

"Girls Were Made To Take Care of Boys" by Billie Holiday

Girls were made to take care of boys
To be kind and dutiful
Hmmm...
Girls were made to take care of boys
Made to share their sorrows
Made to share their joys
Made to help and guide them
With ever a patient hand

Made to give affection
In the right direction
(Always understand)

Now boys may think they take care of girls
Just because they pass on their fashions and their curls
But I've always found
It's just the other way around
(Other way around)

If you need the girl
And declare you do
(Tell her that you need her)
She'll be there
To take care of you
(She'll be there)
(Now boys may think they take care of girls
Just because they're clever with their fashions and their curls)
But I've always found
It's just the other way around
posted by softlord at 5:18 PM on May 10, 2007

Keep the Boy Happy by the Chiffons (1967)
Northern soul, probably hard to find:

Hey girls,
If you want to keep that guy --
I know
How you can do it, if you just try...

You gotta
Keep the boy happy!
Know all the things that he likes to talk about
Keep the boy happy!
Show him you're his girl beyond a shadow of a doubt...
posted by Methylviolet at 5:57 PM on May 10, 2007

"A Man Has Needs" by the Arrogant Worms. It's awesome.
posted by smorange at 6:23 PM on May 10, 2007

Sandy Posey's "Born a Woman," a hit from 1966. Lyrics by Martha Sharp.

It makes no difference if you're rich or poor
Or if you're smart or dumb
A woman's place in this old world
Is under some man's thumb
And if you're born a woman
You're born to be hurt
You're born to be stepped on, lied to, cheated on
And treated like dirt
Ah if you're born a woman
You're born to be hurt
A woman's lot is to give and give
And go on giving
A woman's got to love and lose
And go on living
Well I was born a woman
I didn't have no say
And when my man finally comes home
He makes me glad it happened that way
Because to be his woman
No price is too great to pay
Yes I was born a woman
I'm glad it happened that way
Oh I was born a woman I'm glad it happened that way

posted by raysmj at 7:10 PM on May 10, 2007

It's a little later than mid-century, but for some nice, sexist, secretary-seducin' badness, you can't beat Take a Letter Maria.

"You've been many things, but most of all, a good secretary to me..."
posted by paleography at 7:19 PM on May 10, 2007

I always thought "Wishin' and Hopin'" (Dusty Springfield?) was a bit sexist.

show him that you care, just for him.
do the things that he likes to do.
wear your hair just for him

Meh. Maybe it's not quite as bad as I thought it was.
posted by naoko at 7:31 PM on May 10, 2007

It's not jazzy, but:

James Brown - It's A Man's, Man's, Man's World

This is a man's world
This is a man's world
But it would be nothing
Nothing without a woman to care

You see man made the cars
To take us over the world
Man made the train
To carry the heavy load
Man made the electro lights
To take us out of the dark
Man made the bullet for the war
Like Noah made the ark
This is a man's man's, man's world
But it would be nothing
Nothing without a woman to care

Man thinks of our little baby girls And the baby boys
Man make them happy 'Cause man makes them toys
And after man make everything, everything he can
You know that man makes money to buy from other man
This is a man's world
But it would be nothing, nothing
Not one little thing
Without a woman to care

He's lost in the wilderness
He's lost in the bitterness
He's lost, lost and .....
posted by Alison at 7:48 PM on May 10, 2007

I have painful memories of my dad playing a tape of The Best of Gilbert O'Sullivan. It included a song called "A Woman's Place":

I may be old fashioned
So what if I am
I'm not any different
To any other man
I'm not one of those
Who look for blood from a stone
But I believe
A woman's place is in the home.

Now I'm not one to kid you
You know it's not my style
I wouldn't want to hurt you
Not even for a while
I'm all for a woman
Who can make it on her own
But I believe
A woman's place is in the home.
Ooh baby I believe, I do
A woman's place is in the home.

Wonder what would have happened
Had a woman flattened
Rocky Marciano's nose
Would there have been
A change of views
Would women no longer be used
The way they seem
To think they're being

I know what you're thinking
And you've every right to moan
But I believe, yes indeed, I do,
A woman's place is in the home.
Ooh baby I believe, I do
A woman's place is --in the home
posted by synecdoche at 8:47 PM on May 10, 2007

As originally written for Babes In Arms, "The Lady is a Tramp" is sung by the tramp in question, defending herself.
posted by Ranucci at 9:29 PM on May 10, 2007

Don'cha Go 'Way Mad.

I understand that you feel upset.
What do you say that you forgive and forget?
Come on and kiss me just to show you're glad.
Baby, baby, don'cha go 'way mad.
posted by eritain at 10:03 PM on May 10, 2007

Not jazz exactly, but Broadway:

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historically fair.
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Why can't a woman be like that?
Why does every one do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up, well, like their father instead?

Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please.
Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease.

Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Of course not.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Nonsense.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Never.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Well, why can't a woman be like you?

Heh. Broadway.
posted by eritain at 11:11 PM on May 10, 2007

On non-preview: Dang. I'm an idiot. Plz delete.
posted by eritain at 11:13 PM on May 10, 2007

To make up for it, here's some more Broadway (heh heh, I'm still not over that). An excerpt from South Pacific:

Lots of things in life are beautiful, but brother,
There is one particular thing that is nothin' whatsoever
In any way, shape or form like any other.

There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' you can name
That is anythin' like a dame!

Nothin' else was built the same,
Nothin' in the world
As the soft and wavy frame
Like the silhouette of a dame!

There is absolutely nothin' like a frame of a dame.

And another, a little less complimentary, from Guys and Dolls:

When you see a guy
Reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for some doll.

When you spot a John waiting out in the rain
Chances are he's insane
As only a John
Can be for a Jane.

When you meet a gent
Paying all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal,

Call it sad, call it funny.
But it's better than even money
That the guy's only doing it for some doll!

posted by eritain at 11:45 PM on May 10, 2007

One more and I'll shut up with the Broadway. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers:

Bless your beautiful hide,
You're just as good as lost.
I don't know your name but I'm a-stakin' my claim,
Lest your eyes is crossed.

Oh, I'd swap my gun and I'd swap my mule
(Though whoever took it would be one big fool)
Or pay your way through cookin' school
If'n you would say I Do!

Bless your beautiful hide,
Prepare to bend your knee
And take that vow 'cause I'm a-tellin' you now,
You're the gal for me!

posted by eritain at 11:52 PM on May 10, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I always found "The Lady is a Tramp" a really bizarre/confusing song too, until I actually saw a production of "Babes in Arms." There, the girl-next-door heroine sings it comparing herself to her rival, who is a starlet from California. So, she's implying that the rival does trampy things like "going to Harlem in ermine and pearls" which she herself would never do--because she's a simple, carefree girl instead.

But it doesn't make much sense in any other context.
posted by clair-de-lune at 12:13 AM on May 11, 2007

Ol' Blue Eyes didn't write 'em, but he sang 'em the way only a guy who'd lived a lifetime of women fainting at his feet, and throwing their room keys and underwear at him could.

FRANK SINATRA lyrics - "Witchcraft"

(C. Leigh, C. Coleman)

[Recorded April 30, 1963, Los Angeles]

Those fingers in my hair
That sly come-hither stare
That strips my conscience bare
It's witchcraft

And I've got no defense for it
The heat is too intense for it
What good would common sense for it do?

'cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft
And although I know it's strictly taboo
When you arouse the need in me
My heart says "Yes, indeed" in me
"Proceed with what you're leadin' me to"

It's such an ancient pitch
But one I wouldn't switch
'cause there's no nicer witch than you
[instrumental]

'cause it's witchcraft, that crazy witchcraft
And although I know it's strictly taboo
When you arouse the need in me
My heart says "Yes, indeed" in me
"Proceed with what you're leadin' me to"

It's such an ancient pitch
But one I'd never switch
'cause there's no nicer witch than you


FRANK SINATRA lyrics - "(Love Is) The Tender Trap"

(Cahn/Van Heusen)

You see a pair of laughing eyes
And suddenly your sighing sighs
You're thinking nothing's wrong
You string along, boy, then snap!

Those eyes, those sighs, they're part of the tender trap

You're hand in hand beneath the trees
And soon there's music in the breeze
You're acting kind of smart, until your heart just goes wap!

Those trees, that breeze, they're part of the tender trap

Some starry night, when her kisses make you tingle
She'll hold you tight, and you'll hate yourself for being single

And all at once it seems so nice
The folks are throwing shoes and rice
You hurry to a spot, that's just a dot on the map

You're hooked, you're cooked, you're caught in the tender trap

Some starry night, when her kisses make you tingle
She'll hold you tight, and you'll hate yourself for being single

And all at once it seems so nice
The folks are throwing shoes and rice
You hurry to a spot that's just a dot on the map

And then you wonder how it all came about
It's too late now there's no gettin' out
You fell in love, and love is the tender trap

(And I'm trapped with you).


FRANK SINATRA lyrics - "Luck Be Lady Tonight"

(Frank Loesser)

They call you lady luck
But there is room for doubt
At times you have a very unladylike way
Of running out

You're on this date with me
The pickin's have been lush
And yet before this evening is over
You might give me the brush

You might forget your manners
You might refuse to stay
And so the best that I can do
Is pray

Luck be a lady tonight
Luck be a lady tonight
Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with
Luck be a lady tonight

Luck let a gentleman see
How nice a dame you can be
I know the way you've treated other guys you've been With luck be a lady with me

A lady doesn’t leave her escort
It isn’t fair
It isn’t nice

A lady doesn’t wonder all over the room
And blow on some other guys dice

Lets keep this party polite
Never get out of my sight
Stick with me baby im the fellow
You came in with
Luck be a lady tonight

Luck let a gentleman see
Just how nice
How nice a dame you can be I know the way you’ve treated
Other guys you’ve been with
Yeah luck be a lady with me

A lady doesn’t leave her escort
It isn’t fair
And its not nice

A lady doesn’t wonder all over the room
And blow on some other guys dice

So lets keep the party polite
Never get out of my sight
Stick with me baby im the guy that
You came in with
Luck be a lady
Luck be a lady
Luck be a lady tonight
posted by paulsc at 2:41 AM on May 11, 2007

Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin singing "I've got a big organ". It's not Jerry Lee Lewis and it's not really about music instruments.

Though I find it a bit strange that Deano is singing it together with Jerry...
posted by mmkhd at 6:32 AM on May 11, 2007

I just found another, though I don't know if a lounge-y version exists. "How Lovely to Be a Woman" from Bye-Bye Birdie:

How lovely to wear mascara
And smile a woman's smile.
How lovely to have a figure,
That's round instead of flat;
Whenever you hear boys whistle,
You're what they're whistling at.
It's wonderful to feel
The way a woman feels;
It gives you such a glow just to know
You're wearing lipstick and heels!
posted by jdroth at 8:31 AM on May 11, 2007

She's not a kid anymore ... she's Bobby's Girl. Marcie Blane serves up a delicious bowl of tripe, specifically that her sole purpose in life is to be devoted to her man to the exclusion of all else. Third wave feminism has never crashed on her shores, that's for sure!

It might be a bit more pop than jazz/lounge, but might fit in nicely with the other suggestions here, especially Doris Day.
posted by kuppajava at 9:33 AM on May 11, 2007

It seems like you have plenty of jazzy ones. How about a pop song that would fit well? Aqua's Barbie Girl perhaps?

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,
hit the town, fool around, let's go party
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

posted by andythebean at 10:30 AM on May 11, 2007

This is a rock song, but "Under My Thumb" by the Rolling Stones is amazingly sexist.
posted by SisterHavana at 10:25 PM on May 12, 2007