Piss or move down the trough?

April 27, 2007 2:16 AM

A question of men's restroom trough etiquette: Do I shuffle down or stay put?

The 3-man trough is perpendicular to the door, and the far end is occupied. It's a very small restroom, and quarters are tight—we're talking shoulder to shoulder and squeezing behind. I sidle up to the end nearest to the door (furthest from the occupied end), prepare to evacuate, and start concentrating to get over the stage fright. As I'm waiting to begin the guy at the far end finishes and leaves, and I'm alone. Do I move to the far end of the trough in anticipation of the next guy or stay where I am and finish?

posted by carsonb to human relations (40 comments total)

Move to the far end. Otherwise you will be in danger of jostling when the next person enters.
posted by Mocata at 2:28 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay where you are — the natural law of the outhouse means the next "evacuee" will take the slot farthest from you.*
*If he doesn't, you've got yourself a new puddle buddy!
posted by rob511 at 2:38 AM on April 27, 2007

Do you really want to be walkin' around the washroom with yer wanger hangin' out? Because that's what you're doing if you shuffle on down to the far end.

Which isn't to say you shouldn't do it, just that you'll probably feel a bit silly. Unless we're all in a giant episode of Seinfeld, no one really cares where you stand.
posted by chrominance at 2:47 AM on April 27, 2007

The next guy will probably walk past and move to the end farthest from the door. If it's going to be difficult for that guy to get past you, then you could move if some guy squeezing past you while you're pissing would bother you.

Otherwise, just stay where you are.
posted by knapah at 2:54 AM on April 27, 2007

I vote stay where you are.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:57 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay where you are.
posted by ninebelow at 3:05 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay put. If you're mid-move and mid-pee when the next guy comes in it could look a little odd.
posted by patricio at 3:21 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay where you are, and square your stance. That way, your space is defined, so the potential incoming will be prevented from bustling into your, erm, flow.
posted by choice at 3:25 AM on April 27, 2007

I agree with the consensus: once you've chosen your position, you stay put and finish your business.

Also, here's a fun little little flash game to help you practice your mens' room etiquette.
posted by blue mustard at 4:10 AM on April 27, 2007

Sounds Hot!! Stand in the middle, that way you're sure to get the best show no matter what happens.
Come on, somebody had to say it!

Really though, who cares where you stand as long as you're there only for the intended purpose?
posted by matty at 4:39 AM on April 27, 2007

Man, I hate teh trough. Barbarians ;-)

Stay put.
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:42 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 4:56 AM on April 27, 2007

STAY WHERE YOU ARE
posted by Jimbob at 5:03 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay. Agree with the squaring of the stance to establish your area.
posted by TrashyRambo at 5:24 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay put. And from the sound of it, this bathroom is substandard. Find a better place to piss.
posted by Derek at 5:26 AM on April 27, 2007

If your piece is out, you're pissing... even if there's nothing coming out, there is an implied line of urine eminating from it. This is a key foundation point to public restroom socialization. You don't walk in with it free-swinging in the breeze, and you don't dance around once it's out.

Also, it's important to note in this particular situation that moving is an admission of embrassment in your manhood, and because no one is actually staring at it, it's the biggest visual indicator you could provide. If you had the balls to take that position in the first place (there's probably a discussion to be had on whether you should have taken it in the first place), you should have the balls to stand your ground.
posted by pokermonk at 5:52 AM on April 27, 2007

If the jones is out, you stay put. There is nothing as weird as someone walking around a men's room with their jones hanging out. If I came into a men's room and say you doing that I would probably turn around and leave.
posted by JJ86 at 6:04 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay put. And if the door is on your right shoulder, when the next dude enters, start humming Beyonce's "Irreplaceable."
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 6:05 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay put, but change your stance so you're at a slight angle to the trough (aiming into the corner nearest you). You reduce the chance of door jostle and splash back simultaneously.
posted by Mblue at 6:24 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay where you are.

But where is this, anyhow? The only trough urinals I see anymore are in gay bars, in which case the answer is, "It depends." I haven't been to a non-gay-bar public restroom in years which did not have separate individual urinals. And most have those silly "modesty panels," too.
posted by Robert Angelo at 6:35 AM on April 27, 2007

Metafilter: there is an implied line of urine eminating from it.

(sorry, couldn't help myself). I vote for stay put too.
posted by tayknight at 6:38 AM on April 27, 2007

stay put.
posted by Stynxno at 7:11 AM on April 27, 2007

For god's sake, stay! I saw a guy shuffle once and he lost his pants. Don't be that guy!
posted by dobbs at 7:22 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay. Give out vibes that keep the others at elbow's length.

Avoid pants dribble at all costs!
posted by dowcrag at 7:25 AM on April 27, 2007

Urinal Etiquette

A bit different with a trough, but the idea is somewhat the same.
posted by lampshade at 7:34 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay put. If he bumps into you, punch him the fuck out.
posted by Totally Zanzibarin' Ya at 7:41 AM on April 27, 2007

Ooh -- try taking a few steps back, and dare the next guy to limbo!
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 7:48 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay put. What does a man have left if not for his established territory?
posted by NationalKato at 8:10 AM on April 27, 2007

Also, it's important to note in this particular situation that moving is an admission of embrassment in your manhood, and because no one is actually staring at it, it's the biggest visual indicator you could provide. If you had the balls to take that position in the first place (there's probably a discussion to be had on whether you should have taken it in the first place), you should have the balls to stand your ground.

This isn't a matter of pure machismo, but of good manners too. The more uncomfortable you act, the more uncomfortable you'll make your fellow pissers. By exuding confidence, you help everyone keep up the pretense that there's nothing potentially embarassing going on.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:13 AM on April 27, 2007

Once it's out, you're committed. Stay put. Never move.
posted by ruwan at 8:59 AM on April 27, 2007

Sober follow-up:
1. Not a gay bar, just a very antiquated building.
2. Thanks most everyone for the confirmation. I did in fact stay, and it's, uh, relieving to know I was likely in the right.

Though please do keep any further advice flowing in.
posted by carsonb at 9:23 AM on April 27, 2007

Corollary: if you comment on AskMeFi, and someone enters the discussion later, do not alter your views. Void and depart. Not sure how to wash your hands.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 10:37 AM on April 27, 2007

There are still lots of trough-type urinals in the UK, maybe that says something...
posted by knapah at 10:56 AM on April 27, 2007

I vote for using the commode.

If you have to use the trough never take the spot on the far end in a bathroom with one entrance. This puts you in the position of having to squeeze past other guys who are pissing when you finish.

the Sink works as well in nightclubs without a bathroom attendants.
posted by Megafly at 11:27 AM on April 27, 2007

. . .Which isn't to say you shouldn't do it, just that you'll probably feel a bit silly. Unless we're all in a giant episode of Seinfeld, no one really cares where you stand.

I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking the same damn thing. Yeah stay put, it only takes 10 or 20 seconds to do your business anyway.
posted by nola at 11:48 AM on April 27, 2007

Also does this trough have ice in it?
posted by nola at 11:50 AM on April 27, 2007

This has a correct answer, and it's what everyone has said already. The law of the bathroom is, everyone acknowledges everyone else as little as possible. You go to the slot farthest away from everyone else, so you don't make eye contact.

For the same reason, you don't move once you've started. The movement implies that there is or soon will be someone else in the bathroom. This is unacceptable.
posted by kingjoeshmoe at 11:53 AM on April 27, 2007

Stay where you are! I can help! *points* YOU! Call 911!
posted by Alt F4 at 2:46 PM on April 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

Whatever you do, don't stand there producing nothing and speaking in a too-loud voice, "I can't piss! I can't piss!"

(I did sympathomimetic hallucinogens in public a while back. Don't recommend that either.)
posted by oats at 9:12 PM on April 27, 2007

I'm a stall man.
posted by The Deej at 10:10 PM on April 27, 2007