The bathroom is supposed to be my happy place, not your spittoon/shower/fartatorium
July 28, 2011 12:28 PM Subscribe
There are three
things going on in the men's room at work that irk me. Fellow men, am I right to be annoyed at the spoliation of the safe haven that is the gentlemen's convenience, or am I being unreasonable?
At the office where I work, I routinely see three behaviors in the men's room that get my goat, and I really prefer my goat not be gotten in the bathroom. A bathroom is no place for gotten goats.
First: Mr. X routinely barges into the bathroom, proceeds to hock a loogie for 20 seconds, noisily spits said loogie into the urinal, and then pisses all over it.
Second: Mr. Y sidles up to the urinal and proceeds to serenade everyone with a shivaree of flatulence for the duration of his micturation.
Third: Mr. Z, who is bald, washes his head in the sink for--literally--5 minutes at a time (though, in fairness, the amount of time is a function of the IR-controlled faucets that run for 8 seconds then stop, so he has to trigger the sensor dozens of times to fully wash his pate). He both uses water straight from the tap, as well as a succession of sodden paper towels.
I think each of these is a breach of bathroom etiquette. But at the same time, where else but in the bathroom do I want my colleagues spitting and farting, and where else but the bathroom can Mr. Z wash his head? Thankfully, Mr. Z has never attempted to wash his head in the kitchenette; shouldn't he be lauded for keeping this activity in the bathroom?
I realize that life is too short to take people to task for how they use the bathroom, and I wouldn't dream of being "that guy" who asked someone not to fart at the urinal (particularly given that both Mr. X and Mr. Y are my superiors). I'm not going to send an anonymous note either; I just want to hate them silently.
Are Mssrs X, Y, and Z out of bounds here, from a standpoint of office decorum, or should I just go back to happily playing Angry Birds on the toilet and not pay any attention? I think I've lost all perspective here.