I'm a Facebook loser, please hope me

February 13, 2007 10:30 AM

Facebook: I am a Facebook bum. How can I get some more friends without actually knowing them in real life or online? Is this possible? I understand that Facebook is a social network built on mutual trust etc. Nevertheless, can anything be done about my Facebook challengedness?

Ummm, full name in my profile just in case we've ever carried on a debate in the green, blue or gray.

posted by Clementines4ever to computers & internet (24 answers total)

Why do you want more facebook friends?
posted by koudelka at 10:57 AM on February 13, 2007

I'm not sure what you're asking, but I add every person I meet. I've made some great friends just adding people I meet on the bus and chat with.
posted by sian at 11:03 AM on February 13, 2007

Why not join some groups? If you are active in them, certainly people will add you?
posted by k8t at 11:06 AM on February 13, 2007

How can I get some more friends without actually knowing them in real life or online? Is this possible?

On Facebook? No, it is not possible. Facebook was built around existing social networks- colleges, then high schools. People use it to keep in touch with and keep tabs on people they already know. I'm very active on the site, and I rarely get adds from strangers (and I always reject them). I highly doubt you will be able to add random people and have them accept the friend request. Sorry. Perhaps try Consumating or MySpace?

On preview, the groups thing might work but I wouldn't hold my breath, either.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:14 AM on February 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

You'd be surprised how few people will actually deny a facebook friend request. I rarely do - but I purge my friend list from time to time. So, if you really want to, just add random people and see what happens.

Also - click on interesting things in your own profile and see who shares those (fav. movies, etc.). If they're really obscure - you might initiate a "facebook friendship" just based on that.
posted by matkline at 11:15 AM on February 13, 2007

Okay this may just be my own personal experiences but I think you're gonna have trouble doing what your asking.

To me facebook is completely different than MySpace. It's why I use Facebook instead. I'm not interested in adding people for the sake of adding them. I don't want to make friends with someone i've never met in real life, I just want an easy way to keep track of the friends I have. Maybe this is different for other people.

My question to you is, if you don't know someone in real life or even online, what's the point to adding them? Why use a MetaFilter question for this? What do you get out of it? More of curious than anything....
posted by JakeLL at 11:16 AM on February 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wait, I figured it out! Here's what you have to do: Start a Facebook group. Call it the I Need More Friends group. Write a long thing about how it's sad to not have any Facebook friends, and you really need some, and you bet others feel the same, so you've started this group. Ask all members to friend you. Set a crazy goal, like having 100,000 friends- for some reason, Facebook members love groups like this. Invite all your friends to join. Encourage them to invite their friends to join. As people join, the group will show up on their friend's News Feed, and other people will look at the group, join, and friend you. If you are lucky, the thing will snowball, and you will have a ton of new friends.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:23 AM on February 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

As much as I think TPS is being a smartass, I also think she might be on to something!
posted by jmd82 at 11:42 AM on February 13, 2007

Oooh. There's a MetaFilter group on Facebook. Who knew?

(a bunch of people, apparently.)
posted by Alt F4 at 11:48 AM on February 13, 2007

My Facebook group idea, though silly-sounding, is completely serious. Facebook users (at least, the college students ones with endless free time) love to band together to reach goals like, let's help this guy get 10,000 friends. Odd but true.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:49 AM on February 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think it would be a little creepy to add completely random people, but if you go with matkline's idea and add people you've got something in common with, it could work. Just make sure your profile isn't scary, and maybe let them know why you're adding them. If your goal is just to increase your friend count, looking respectable could go a long way -- I've accepted friend requests from people I didn't recognize on the off chance that I had forgotten meeting them.

And the "Help me get 100,000 friends" idea is great! If you make the group and let us know, I'll join it. :)
posted by ramenopres at 12:48 PM on February 13, 2007

I joined the Metafilter facebook group today, inspired by this question.
posted by k8t at 12:56 PM on February 13, 2007

I think TPS idea is a good one based on the user's question which seems to indicate that they don't particularly care what their Facebook friends are interested in. If the OP has particular interests it may be best to search the groups for others with said interests and see what that leads to.

I joined the Metafilter facebook group today, inspired by this question.

I too am in this group, but it is weird because I don't know many MeFite's real names and so I am always playing the "I wonder what that person's user name is?" I think I even posted as much on the group wall. :)
posted by terrapin at 1:07 PM on February 13, 2007

Friend people sooner after you meet them? For everyone I know, it's a very variable thing. I'll wait until I'm actually friends with someone before virtually friending them, but for a lot of people Facebook just reinforces the name/schtick knowledge that's typical of acquaintances.
posted by tmcw at 1:54 PM on February 13, 2007

There's a metafilter group? *joins*

In response to the question: I would not personally add random people. Why would you want that anyway? You can still send messages to people that are not your friends, I think? And then if you get along they can be your friend. But this is just my old-fashioned "real world" idea of what a friend is. Don't take my advice: I only have 30 Facebook friends, so I'm very uncool.
posted by easternblot at 2:11 PM on February 13, 2007

I have only two Facebook friends, but at least I'm a member of a decent group now.
posted by chudder at 2:33 PM on February 13, 2007

Friend everyone you meet as soon as you know their name or can figure it out (like, if you meet a girl named Jane Something, and you have a mutual friend, search the mutual friend's friends for "Jane"...). Some people think this is creepy, and I wouldn't do this, but it's less weird than totally random people.

You can also add everyone from your high school/hometown, known or not, though this also creeps some people out. I've added people who requested me this way, but have never been the requester.

Add people from the MeFi group perhaps?

(I just learned about and joined the group from this thread. It was weird/cool seeing a tab say "Facebook | Metafilter" when I usually have several tabs that say one or the other but never both...)
posted by SuperNova at 2:43 PM on February 13, 2007

OH! And the whole reason for me posting was to suggest adding the gimmick accounts that exist -- many fewer than on MySpace but still some. Search for famous people or things, and see if you can find groups of "fake Facebook accounts"... there used to be some, but Fbook has cracked down recently.
posted by SuperNova at 2:45 PM on February 13, 2007

Honestly, I usually add every person that adds me, regardless if I know them or not...(and then I periodically delete people that haven't talked to me) but I am way less likely to add someone if they don't have a current/real picture. :/
posted by thisisnotkatrina at 3:09 PM on February 13, 2007

You have 84 friends now. Why do you want more? I don't get it.

Personally I don't usually confirm friend requests from people I don't know. The exception is people who want to correspond with me first—then I can add them as pen pals. I don't write back to people who say they just want a million friends.

The best way to get Facebook friends is to meet people at your college and then add them. Also, ditch the baby photo and get a real photo.
posted by grouse at 3:32 PM on February 13, 2007

*joins the Metafilter group*, hurrah
posted by teststrip at 8:19 PM on February 13, 2007

Ha ha i've just joined too!
posted by tomw at 11:25 PM on February 13, 2007

I just joined the Metafilter group. Hurrah!

If you want to use Facebook as a way to potentially make more friends in the real life (combining shared interest + locality, for instance, and then a meetup) more power to you. I personally won't add anyone I haven't met in real life, but I could see that as being a good application for Facebook.

If you just need to add more people so your News Feed is more entertaining, jump ship and head over to Consumating. It's way more entertaining on a day-to-day level; I use Facebook to keep up with my "real" friends and while they are all awesome in person, online they are boring.

Me on Consumating (I'll be your friend there, why not?) | Consumating users tagged "metafilter"
posted by Famous at 1:25 AM on February 14, 2007

Coincidentally, there is an official Facebook blog posting today that advises not to friend people you don't know.
posted by grouse at 1:39 AM on February 14, 2007