Too many "friends" on Facebook, want to move on without defriending.
September 4, 2010 11:02 PM Subscribe
Facebook Filter: I'm tired of the "digital baggage" of Facebook (friends). Suggestions for modifying or deleting my Facebook/internet use, given my particular likes/dislikes about Facebook?
posted by Dukat to computers & internet (18 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I have been a habitual Facebook user and relatively active, have a reasonable number of Facebook friends but by no means excessive. I don't friend people I wouldn't have a conversation with IRL.
My primary issue with Facebook, and the reason I'd like to delete/leave:
Can't Start Anew: I am tired of the "digital baggage". I've graduated from college and high school, yet I feel forced to continue the acquaintanceships that Facebook promotes. Facebook does not allow me to continue only the relationships that I'd like--at least, not gracefully. For example, I am extremely good friends with persons X, Y, and Z. These are close friends with whom I'd hope to maintain lifelong contact, and I have--through e-mail and phone, not Facebook. These persons are also extremely good friends with persons A, B, and C---persons I have been friends with in the same social circle as a result of their friendships with X, Y, and Z but would very much prefer to leave behind now that I live far outside their context. If I defriended them, they would surely surely know.
We're Acquaintances, Not Friends: It's not that I want to block, say, a fictional girl named "Jane". Say Jane and I saw each other in the dorms a lot, and we waved and said hi. I no longer see Jane in the dorms, but she's still my FB friend. I have no desire to "defriend" her as (a) she would know and (b) she has done nothing wrong to me, it's just that I never had a friendship with Jane beyond "hi!". Facebook promotes an artificial relationship between me and Jane (we would not maintain contact outside this medium), we still have to cope with each others' digital existence. I'd like my non-essential/don't really have an interest "friends" to be like the pre-Facebook past--I would know they were out there in the world, I'd wish them well, but I wouldn't have to give a passing thought to them, not if I wouldn't reach out to them in a non-Facebook context.
E-mail allows me to choose who I want to maintain contact with, and no one need know that I've been emailing a certain person and not contacting them.
(b) Essentially--I'd like to leave people behind and not think of them again, and Facebook doesn't allow me that luxury.
I seek suggestions and thoughts on modifying my Facebook use to ONLY the people I want to contact (without the people I don't want to contact knowing) OR suggestions on deleting my Facebook profile.
(c) For whatever reason, insomuch as I've thought about it, Facebook's privacy has never really bothered me. I've never particularly advertised things I wouldn't want my aunt/coworkers to read (though I have modifications for different groups to maintain professionalism), and I don't have any questionable photos.
Challenges and What I Like About Facebook
Seeking suggestions on the following:
(1) I have an extensive collection of over 50+ photo albums that mean a lot to me. How to save my Facebook photo albums to a non-Facebook location? (Even if I choose to modify my account and not delete, I think it's time for the photos to leave.)
(2) I'm in a Facebook relationship (and real-life!) with someone. I don't want to ditch him on Facebook.
(3) I also love love aggregating my interests into Facebook--I can read multiple articles from my favorite periodicals, follow my bands and see where they're performing, follow my favorite authors and see when they ahve a book coming out etc., all in one place (without having to check multiple sites every now and then to see what's happening). Maybe Twitter (don't have an account) would be a better way to do this? I'd prefer a non-social media method, though.
Thank you so much for your advice, in advance.