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January 5, 2007 1:13 PM

I beseech thee, oh great hive mind. Help me think of some creative high school superlative ideas.

Superlatives are those funny titles given to seniors before they graduate ( 'Most likely to succeed' ). They can't be too offensive or obscure, but everything else is fair game.

posted by theiconoclast31 to grab bag (22 comments total)

Best of Breed.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:20 PM on January 5, 2007 [2 favorites]

Most likely...
...to go bald
...to save the world
...to conquer the world
...to go to the moon
...to be arrested
...to run for president of the U.S.
...to be on "Jeopardy!"
posted by cerebus19 at 1:22 PM on January 5, 2007

Fanciest, Most Likely to Shrink in the Wash, Best Ear, Mostly Interesting, Most Underrated...
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:23 PM on January 5, 2007

Most Likely to Have Their Facebook Account Deleted
Most Likely to Have a Brand of Jeans Named After Them
Most Likely to Be The Next Person Beaten Up By Naomi Campbell
Most Likely to Be Stalked on MySpace
Most Likely to Be a Weekly Feature on Collegehumor.com
posted by iconomy at 1:28 PM on January 5, 2007

Most likely to become a dot-com millionaire, Most likely to have a wardrobe malfunction on tv, Best smelling, Most likely to have an affair with a politician, Least concerned with superlatives, Most likely to wrestle wild animals for a living.
posted by zackola at 1:31 PM on January 5, 2007

I was voted 'most likely to end up married with 3 kids'.

I wish I knew how the hell they came to that conclusion.
posted by Totally Zanzibarin' Ya at 1:41 PM on January 5, 2007

Most Likely to...
Be Asking You Whether Or Not You Want Fries With That.
Ask How Long After Graduation 'Til We Attend A 10 Year Reunion.
Have Paris Hilton Say, "You Party Too Much."
Have Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie Divorce One Another.
Find Long Lost Relatives on Mars.
Retell A Story of Scoring the Winning Touchdown Several Thousand Times.
posted by icontemplate at 1:42 PM on January 5, 2007

Most likely to start a cult
Most likely to run away and join the circus
Most likely to win a Nobel Prize (in Dorkature or whatever if you want, ours was undefined)
Most likely to return as an teacher/principal/RA/janitor

Best (name of the most well known student at your school)
posted by nelleish at 1:43 PM on January 5, 2007

Hmm. In my senior yearbook entry it said "most likely to parachute into Moscow wired with explosives" (not reflective of me in any way, and probably a fantasy projection by the guy who put it in, who is now in military intelligence). But it is funny, and I hereby bequeath it to you.
posted by adamrice at 2:02 PM on January 5, 2007

My oldest was "Most Likely To Become A Supermodel".
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:07 PM on January 5, 2007

Most likely to marry the Boss' daughter / son
Most likely to be on Oprah
Most likely to be on Jerry Springer
Most Likely to succeed Katie Couric
Most likely to be on the cover of Rolling Stone
Most likely to have kids attending %This High School in 20 years
Most likely to win a MacArthur Grant
Most likely to be Police Chief (a high school classmate of mine is Police Chief in our home town, which adds extra entertainment value to reunions.)
posted by theora55 at 2:23 PM on January 5, 2007

I got 'Best Rapper' with this kid. As you can see, he deserved it. Although I was massively embarrassed at the time, we joked about it when we ran into each other at a club a few years ago.

I think there was also a 'Most Plaid' but that was during the grunge years and is likely invalid at this time.
posted by cobaltnine at 2:51 PM on January 5, 2007

Most iconoclastic.

I got "Most focused" which was both completely true and completely untrue. I was diagnosed by my peers as having straight-a-adhd. It was one of the good ones.

A friend got "Most literate" since she was such a pretentious literature buff. Haha.
posted by zpousman at 2:55 PM on January 5, 2007

Least Likely To Remember Anyone 5 Years From Now
Least Likely To Be Remembered By Anyone 5 Years From Now
Most Apathetic
Most Likely To Be Most Embarassed By Clothes 10 Years From Now
Most Likely To Be Arrested In A Hotel Room With Questionable Paraphenelia (was originally "With A Dead Hooker", then I read your need for a PG-13 rating)
Most Likely To Be a Disillusioned Former Born Again
Most Likely To Sell Used Cars
Most Likely To Perservere
Most Likely To Hold And Then Quickly Lose a Guiness World Record
Most Likely To Be An Ironic Film Store Clerk
Most Likely To Release a Best Selling Polka Album
Most Likely To Live In A Compound
Most LIkely To Become a Ghost Writer For Paris Hilton's Dog
Most Likley To Be Arrested For A Cause
Least Likely To Take Up Any Cause At All
Most Likely To Tour Schools Lecturing On The Dangers Of Drug Abuse
Most Likely To Host An Afterschool PBS Special
Most Likely To Invent A Wildly Popular Invention To Do Something Nobody Needs
Least Likely To Die In A Foreign Land
Most Likely To Be Given Far Too Much Responsibility
Least Likelty To Grow Up
Most Likely To Come Back To Visit Teachers
posted by eurasian at 2:58 PM on January 5, 2007

Hairiest, Most Likely to Save Tibet, Most Likely to Crush the Competition, Most Absorbent, Most Likely to Start Their Own Business, Future Inspirational Speaker, Crunchiest, Most Likely to Host an NPR show, Future Middle Manager, Least Likely to Spend Their Days in a Cubicle, Most Likely to Become a Cartoon Character, Future Televangelist
posted by landedjentry at 4:30 PM on January 5, 2007

A couple of the stranger ones we had were Best Walk From Behind and Looks Best In A Gymsuit.

Others:
Most Likely To Show Up On (ohnotheydidnt/TMZ.com/insert your favorite gossip site here)
Most Likely To Appear On A Reality Show
The Next American Idol
posted by SisterHavana at 5:47 PM on January 5, 2007

From this year's yearbook at my high school:

Most Ridiculously Good Looking
Worst Driver
Biggest Exaggerator
Biggest Flirt
Most Gullible
Most School Spirit
Most Opinionated
Most Wanted by Administration
Worst Case of Senioritis
Most Huggable
Loudest
Most likely to be Late to Graduation
Most Competitive
Most Dramatic
posted by niles at 6:28 PM on January 5, 2007

My personal favorite from my high school yearbook: Most likely to dissapear in a cloud of purple smoke.
posted by nursegracer at 8:45 PM on January 5, 2007

Most likely to stop and smell the roses.
Talks most, says least (this was an actual one from my yearbook).
Talks least, says most.
Most likely to get arrested without pants.
Most likely to end up just like their mother/father.
Most likely to come out.
Most likely to go in.
Most likely to marry the first girl/boy that gives them the time of day.
Most likely to suffocate on own vomit.
Most likely to suffocate on someone else's vomit.
Most likely to fall in love with a goat.
Most likely to behave very, very badly in Vegas.
Most likely to move to Vegas to behave badly all the time.
Most likely to join a cult.
Most likely to found a cult.
Most likely to found a cult just to have sex with other people's partners.
Most likely to go out in a blaze of glory.
Most likely to raise "stinky" kids (you know, there's always that one kid in kindergarten that just stinks).
Most likely to drop off the grid.
Most likely to move to Africa.
Least likely to leave town.
Least likely to get some sense knocked into them.
Least likely to look before they leap.

That's off the top of my head.
posted by fenriq at 8:49 PM on January 5, 2007

most likely to win this award
most likely to kill you after telling you what they do for a living
most likely to kill you as what they do for a living
most likely to sell their soul
most likely to sell their kidney
most likely to deliberately misspell the word "dog"
most likely to escape from prison
Second most unique (that's what I got, a wee bit insulting)
posted by njb at 7:58 AM on January 6, 2007

most likely to have this award be the highlight of their life...
least likely to be able to read that they've won an award in the yearbook...
posted by Frank Grimes at 8:06 AM on January 6, 2007

Thanks a lot, everyone. You guys never fail to disappoint. I showed the EIC's this thread, and we picked 13 of these !
posted by theiconoclast31 at 2:34 PM on January 8, 2007