How to say "please come, but pay your own way" to a party-ish event?
November 25, 2006 7:07 PM Subscribe
When is a party not a party? When it's not hosted. But how to invite people to such a (non-)event?
posted by Dreama to Human Relations (17 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
For my mother's upcoming 65th birthday, she has made it clear that she absolutely does not want a traditional party by any means. Instead she wishes for all of my siblings and me to take her to dinner at her favorite -- pricey -- restaurant. All fine and good.
The trouble is that her friends and our extended family all want to know what's happening for her birthday. She's also retiring at the end of that same week, so some co-workers are interested in some kind of celebration as well.
Even spread amongst the siblings, underwriting meals for a large number of additional guests at the restaurant in question is simply cost prohibitive, far more expensive than a formal dinner (buffet) in one of our homes or even a catered party at a non-restaurant venue might possibly be. (We're talking about a starting cost of ~$60/person.) And there is no shaking mom's resolve that she wants the sole celebration of her birthday/retirement to be this dinner at this location.
Is it tacky to invite people to join us for dinner at this restaurant in a way that makes it clear that they'll be buying their own meals? (Clearly at that price, they'll need to be prepared.) If it's acceptable, should it just be a matter of phone calls, or is there some polite way of writing an invitation that says "join us for dinner -- on your dime" in an abundantly clear way?