Relationship help for the indecisive
November 22, 2006 7:27 AM Subscribe
To stay with my girlfriend of two years, or break it off as soon as possible?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (38 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years. However, we've been best friends for at least eight years. We currently live together and go to school together. Over the past year or so, I've felt like we're increasingly becoming better friends, but we're becoming worse lovers/bf-gf. If someone were to spend a day with us he or she would think my girlfriend and I are mere roommates.
I feel like I've lost the spark on my end. Here's the tipping point: over the past year or so, I've been hanging out with a girl I was dating before going out with my current girlfriend. I pretty much blew off the girl I was dating for my girlfriend. Needless to say, about a year ago I started to think "what if...". So I decided to hang out with the girl I was previously dating. We really hit it off - just as we did when we were dating. My only problem is that she's considerably (3 years) younger than I am, and just starting college. While three years might not seem like a lot, I act like I'm 30 - so it feels like a bit of an age gap, which I find to sometimes be a let down due to the lack of intelligent conversation. My girlfriend and I can talk from dusk till dawn, spouting off ideas from great philosophers, politicians, and other historical jokers. Yet, I come to find the mindless time I feel like I'm having with the girl I was previously dating to be exciting and exhilarating! Hanging out with the girl I was dating feels like a breath of fresh air to me. I'm at the point where I feel like I'm emotionally attached to the girl I was dating and absolutely detached from my girlfriend.
I wanted to ask you folks for advice because at this point, I don't know whether I should stick around with my girlfriend, on the terms that this is all some sort of phase, or I should break it off and be with the girl that I was previously dating, who makes me feel like I'm living my early twenties to the fullest (regardless of being able to converse on a "higher" level).
I've been reluctant to make a decision, mainly because I'm living with my girlfriend and she doesn't have any family or close friends in the area, so she has to depend on me for a lot (not to say that I don't depend on her for some things). Even though this is a bad time (to deal with this situation) with the holidays and the fact that we're going on a big vacation very soon - I'm starting to think there is really never a good time.