Million monkeys in my head

July 8, 2006 7:04 PM

Thinking too much: I believe I have too many thoughts going on in my head almost constantly. How do I quieten my mind when it says - No! you have to finish this stream of thought or you will lose not coming to conclusion.

(I know all this can sound a bit extreme, but I am emotionally healthy overall, and am known to be a very reasonable person.)
No matter what I am doing - working on a project, during prayers, driving, taking a shower - I have a continous stream of thoughts. I believe that it hinders my working and normal life, I am not able to give 100% of myself to anything. Maybe once in a while when the chatter in the head stops for a while, I am amazed how great I do and feel after that. I have done some meditation and it is hard for me to concentrate there as well. Same thing when I am praying (very close to meditation anyway).
The main problem is that when I try to step away from a thought, I start thinking that I definitely need to finish this thought. For example, a common theme is a future conversation with someone. I plan that conversation to death in my mind until I am repeating myself over and over.
I guess my question is - should I quiten my mind completely when these thoughts come up? Should I read any books? Professional help?

posted by raheel to Health & Fitness (32 answers total)

Best answer: I know exactly what you're talking about and I've learned to quiet the stream of thoughts.

You said that you've done meditation and it's hard for you to concentrate. But how long did you do it for? Like anything, meditating is a skill that you learn how to do by practicing over and over again until you've got it. If it's hard for you to concentrate the first time, don't give up. Keep trying. Sit somewhere comfortable, and just focus on your breathing. Every time you realize that you are thinking about something, accept it, dismiss it, and continue to focus on your breathing. Don't get discouraged, because at first anyone normal will continue to think over and over again no matter how many times you've told your brain to focus.
If you practice for five or ten minutes every day, you'll learn to quiet yourself down on command pretty soon. Good luck!
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 7:18 PM on July 8, 2006 [3 favorites]

I find that by taking a decent walk each day I get most of my stream of conciousness thoughts taken care of then. I'm fortunate enough to have one of these walks on the way to and back from work each day. It helps keep me more focused the rest of the time, and takes no concious effort on my part.
posted by furtive at 7:32 PM on July 8, 2006

I sometimes cope with this by resolving a thought process - either talking it over with someone I respect and/or writing it down. That way, when I come back to it, I can say, nope, already dealt with that one, don't need to think about it anymore. A couple (or hundred) times of that, and my brain is trained to drop a subject.

Also, to me, it's a signal that I will be soon approaching depression - that's just what my head does. So I increase the amount of exercise that I do and work at decreasing stress load.
posted by b33j at 7:38 PM on July 8, 2006

Yeah, meditation isn't about the mind being quiet so much as just sitting there noticing "hmmm, even more noisy than yesterday, so much chatter..." Just watch the chatter scroll by while realizing that actually, the present moment is much more interesting. You are breathing, you are actually sitting in a room here on earth. What does that feel like? You might be able to pay attention for one second or so. Then, once the you realize the chatter's picked up again, quiet it, then notice what it feels like to have a body. Maybe you can be quiet for two seconds this time. Etc. Try this at the same time every day, and over time it gets easier.
posted by salvia at 7:39 PM on July 8, 2006 [2 favorites]

I sometimes cope with this by resolving a thought process - either talking it over with someone I respect and/or writing it down.

Writing it down is a great idea. And don't use a computer; use a pen. It'll force you to slow down and get your thoughts in order before you commit them to paper. I find that an overactive mind is a product of trying to juggle too many things in my head. Writing things down helps so much. Try it, it'll be better than you expect.
posted by danb at 7:49 PM on July 8, 2006

Response by poster: Some good advice already.
To BuddhaInABucket: Are you able to carry through the ability to quieten your mind all day if you are able to do it in meditation?

Also, I have noticed that the main source of unrest is trying to reason to myself that it maybe OK/not OK to keep thinking... It is very hard for me to let go of my thoughts - it is like I am surrendering my analytical ans existential part.
posted by raheel at 7:56 PM on July 8, 2006

Best answer: I've found that going someplace quiet and peaceful and just letting my surroundings wash over me often helps. (I prefer the ocean, with few or no other people around. Or sitting in a park, far from other people.) The point is trying to let go of yourself and just become part of what is around you. It takes practice. You have to just keep stopping yourself when you catch the thoughts starting up. When it happens, just make a point of looking at what is around you, focus on your surroundings sense by sense. Hope that helps in some way.
posted by Meep! Eek! at 8:02 PM on July 8, 2006

Best answer: One thing that works for me is to find anything that "flows." Rock climbing, surfing, cycling, running. It's not so much the exercize that quiets the mind... it's the feeling of intense concentration on a single goal that blocks everything else. But I have the same problem as you; when I'm not doing something that flows, my stream of conciousness goes nuts. Have you tried to write a journal? I find that when I can externalize my stream once a day, it quiets down when I need to concentrate.
posted by |n$eCur3 at 8:12 PM on July 8, 2006

If I want to get something done that doesn't require total concentration but could stand to have the chatter toned down a little, I either do some serious exercise and tire myself out some or I'll turn on some banal pop music which seems to fill up the chatter track in my head somehow, leaving more of the rest of my brain free to think about things and focus. Sometimes this works with classical music as well. I have a hell of a time sleeping though, often, because of this.
posted by jessamyn at 8:18 PM on July 8, 2006

I do the planning conversations thing in my head constantly... I've grown accoustomed to the point that I don't think about it any more... which seems counter-intuitive, but it's true. I've found that having a situation where your your mind can wander but your body stays active (I ride bike on the nearby bike trails), lets my mind think about whatever it needs to think about.

This problem arose because I was always very shy as a kid, and would always be put on the spot with nothing to say, or I would lose arguements not because I was wrong, but because it took too long for me to think every possibility to the arguement out. Removing myself from situations, building up a stockpile of witty comebacks, etc all helped my mind keep from overloading itself in preparation for conversations that never happened.

Realizing why it's happening is a big step in finding a way to keep it from ruling your life.
posted by hatsix at 8:22 PM on July 8, 2006

GTD is great for this.
posted by evariste at 8:24 PM on July 8, 2006

The Power of Now has some good advice on this exact habit. I found it helpful in figuring out how to stop over-thinking.
posted by dog food sugar at 9:05 PM on July 8, 2006

Sorry, GTD? *ignorant*
posted by PuGZ at 12:00 AM on July 9, 2006

If my brain isn't streaming thoughts, it's playing music. And usually not good music. No kidding - it's never quiet. The only thing I've found that works is giving it something else to think about. So I play the radio, music, podcasts or audiobooks nearly all the time. (radio = npr, bbc, or some other such chattery station.) Not only does this keep my brain from spinning out of control, but I enjoy what I listen to and I learn a lot. YMMV.
posted by shifafa at 12:37 AM on July 9, 2006

The only time it's ever going to shut up of its own accord is after years and years of you practising making it shut up on your say-so. At present, it simply doesn't know how to shut up. That's what meditation is for - it's a shut-up-your-thoughts exercise.

So don't bother trying to shut it up unless you are actually in the middle of a meditation session, at which time your thinking self has absolutely no valid excuse to keep on yammering.
posted by flabdablet at 1:03 AM on July 9, 2006

raheel: I don't know. I do know that almost every time someone asks me "what are you thinking?" the answer is, honestly, "nothing at all." So I guess the answer is yes, I can?
I also support the idea of getting regular physical exercise to calm your mind down. A busy mind is almost certainly a stressed one that needs release, and on a five mile run, say, you won't mind your endless stream of consciousness one bit.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 2:20 AM on July 9, 2006

Sorry, GTD? *ignorant*

Getting Things Done.
posted by youarenothere at 5:15 AM on July 9, 2006

Should have included a link...Getting Things Done : The Art of Stress-Free Productivity
posted by youarenothere at 5:17 AM on July 9, 2006

Try a 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat. These retreats are held in silence and your days consist of sitting meditation and walking meditation. If you can survive the first couple of days, you'll start to get a handle on your internal dialogue and be able to step away from the thoughts to a place of quiet in your mind.

My mind was too restless to learn to meditate by myself, so I went to a retreat. Definitely one of the best things I've ever done.

Two retreat sites stand out in the U.S., Spirit Rock in California and the Insight Meditation Society outside of Boston.
posted by TorontoSandy at 7:21 AM on July 9, 2006

Response by poster: Very helpful thread.
I would like to rephrase part of my question though: Am I losing something if I do end up controlling my thoughts? Do I lose part of my analytical capabilities? Or rather will I be not employing them well enough?
posted by raheel at 7:29 AM on July 9, 2006

Try making lists. If you're always thinking about what you have to get done, writing it down once will help you not feel the need to keep thinking it all the time.

You could also use this strategy for the conversation thing by starting a notebook, and having a page for each person. Write down things to say to them. Since you seem to get carried away, time yourself with a kitchen timer or some other short-term alarm to limit your time with the notebook. 10 min. at a time, for instance. Then you'll have all those thoughts written, and the next time you go to write more, there will be less repitition in your head.
posted by Sprout the Vulgarian at 7:41 AM on July 9, 2006

Am I losing something if I do end up controlling my thoughts? Do I lose part of my analytical capabilities? Or rather will I be not employing them well enough?

If you think that all these thoughts are getting in your way, then a little more control will be helpful for you. No one is suggesting that you dull them with alcohol or lots of bad television. With effective control, you can quiet them down when you have to focus and then "turn up the volume" when you have more free time to entertain them.

You should be aware that there are psychiatric disorders [OCD, ADHD] that have intrusive and/or repetitive thoughts as one of their symptoms. I'm not saying anything about your case; if you feel emotionally healthy then that may be of no concern, but if you wanted to do some background reading, it might be an interesting subject area.
posted by jessamyn at 7:47 AM on July 9, 2006

You sound a lot like how I used to be... before I got treatment for ADD.

Could be a coincidence, but may be work getting checked out.
posted by k8t at 7:51 AM on July 9, 2006

yeah, I was going to bring up ADD. I was recently reading about the "Durham study" and apparently long-chain fatty acids (Omega-6 and Omega-3) can help a lot with concentration. I've had b-complex "stress reliever" vitamins calm me down, along with intense exercise and sustained-release ritalin.

This is not to suggest that you don't seriously pursue the meditation as well.
posted by mecran01 at 8:58 AM on July 9, 2006

personally I've found no two thoughts can exist in the mind at the same time. That said, anything I can do e.g., meditation, practicing mindfulness, exercising etc - all help calm my mind by redirection.
posted by Sagres at 9:18 AM on July 9, 2006

Traveling somewhere really, really helps me with this. Grocery shopping helps too. If you can remind yourself to not plan out your reactions, but just let yourself *react*, it might help you too.
posted by oldtimey at 11:12 AM on July 9, 2006

2nd vote here for GTD. Best thing that ever happened to me both at work and at home.
posted by richmondparker at 2:24 PM on July 9, 2006

Best answer: I'd recommend researching "Pure O" (Pure Obsession). It's a class of OCD where you just obsess about thoughts, and then start obsessing about obsessing. That symptom of feeling pressured to think about something rings a bell.

For me, one solution was to make a meta-cog triage. Where I'd write down the topic of a thread that I felt "I just had to think about" and then wait to address it later. 90% of the time, just putting a little distance reduced the imperativeness of that thread.
posted by philosophistry at 12:44 AM on July 10, 2006 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: The Pure Obsession seems pretty close to what I perceive to be the problem with me - although not to the extreme that most people describe their case to be. One thing that some people recommend is to just ignore your thoughts when they go the wrong way. In the end I believe it is meditation that would help me in this.
posted by raheel at 5:17 AM on July 10, 2006

Best answer: Save you some time... these are the four techniques I sussed out from researching "Pure O"

- "The Antidote" - If you have a worrying concern, respond back bravely. For example, if you have the following Pure-O thought-cycle: "what if I'm never happy" + "what if worrying about how happy I am is why I'll never be happy" ... You could respond, in gest, "oh well, if I'm never going to be happy, I guess I can be emo like that."

- "Let It Be" - Don't actively respond to your thoughts, just let them run out on their own accord. This is ultimately what happens, but you can relax your thinking muscles by just letting the thoughts bounce around on their own until they lose steam.

- "The Capsule Technique" - This is my "meta-cog triage." You could, for example, set a fixed 1-hour period every day to sit down and deal with your most troubling concerns. Patients find that by the time that period rolls around, they're generally no longer anxious about the thoughts.

- "Spiking" - Flood your mind with a bunch of other million monkey thoughts.
posted by philosophistry at 4:24 AM on July 12, 2006 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Posting this thread is proving very quickly to be one of the best decisions I have made. I decided couple of days to take the "Let it be" approach and when I did decide to go for it - thing have become easy. I have a much more fluid thought process already, I don't linger onto my thoughts at all, and have been noticing myself and sorroundings much better. The key was to start keeping a journal, and to just let thoughts be, not follow them or give them emotional flags.

I have to say it wan't easy at first, it almost felt like I would be giving up part of my thinking ablity. But I think the other way around is true. I am still beginning on this new way to be, but I think I have made a breakthrough. Thanks everone. Even if I didn't take all the advice posted here, the mere act of posting about my 'problem' and then reading the responses has been an inertia-killer.
posted by raheel at 9:18 AM on July 12, 2006

Congrats!
posted by hatsix at 3:17 PM on July 12, 2006