Good, recent (last 20 years?) memoirs by ordinary people
September 10, 2024 7:32 AM   Subscribe

Looking for memoirs of non-famous people partly because I like writing memoir-ish stuff and want inspiration (and am resoundingly un-famous.)

I've stalled out on some of the popular memoirs of recent years for reasons valid and dumb--hated the purple prose in In the Dream House, felt like Educated was twice as long as it should be and got bored and quit, couldn't get past the title of Priest Daddy. I am a fussy reader!

The memoir I found endlessly entertaining recently was Mary Rodgers' Shy (recommended by someone on here) but that's a different kind of thing. I'm looking for memoirs that are good because they're an interesting story of a relatable life. Got anything?
posted by less-of-course to Media & Arts (36 answers total) 32 users marked this as a favorite
 
The Outrun by Amy Liptrot is one of my favourite memoirs. (I am re-reading it again for the third or fourth time.) I like it because I have a lifelong fascination with the islands that surround the UK and her alcohol addiction and her observation of it reminds me of myself when I was her age.
posted by Kitteh at 7:44 AM on September 10 [1 favorite]


I just read Anna Marie Tendler's Men Have Called Her Crazy. It was a beautiful memoir of the bullshit women are expected to deal with, told in flashbacks while she is undergoing inpatient mental health treatment. Content warnings for mental health difficulties, self-injury, disordered eating, grooming of an underage woman by an older man.

Note: AMT herself is not famous; she's an artist who has come to attention in the past few years. However, she is well known in pop-culture as John Mulaney's ex-wife. John Mulaney is not discussed in the book; the flashbacks end prior to the start of their relationship, and while its dissolution is alluded to as a source of distress contributing to her breakdown, it isn't further discussed. I had no idea who she was before reading, and only learned about all of the drama by searching after completing the book. I think this memoir would fit your criteria of "ordinary people."
posted by bluloo at 8:01 AM on September 10 [2 favorites]


I liked In the Days of Rain: A daughter, a father, a cult by Rebecca Stott, which is about her family's history with the Exclusive Brethren.
posted by paduasoy at 8:09 AM on September 10 [3 favorites]


Can it be about someone's ordinary life before they were famous? Crying in H Mart.

Also: Fun Home by Alison Bechdel is the best memoir I've read in forever. Yes, it's a graphic memoir, but please don't let that stop you if you want an amazingly deep and affecting story.
posted by ojocaliente at 8:11 AM on September 10 [5 favorites]


I really enjoyed Jane Wodening's Driveabout from 2016. She was the partner and collaborator of Stan Brakhage and had some renown in 20th c. experimental film circles, but was unknown outside of them.

Brakhage left her, their kids had grown up, and she was feeling unwanted and struggling find a way forward that made sense - she dealt with it by spending the better part of a year driving around the West, camping in her car on a tiny budget, and figuring out how to be independent in a way that felt good. It's a plain-spoken, guileless, sometimes borderline stream of consciousness account spiked with epigrammatic insights into what it means to live and get old in a culture that doesn't value older people, and how to make meaning in spite of that (it also made me laugh out loud on the bus.)

She later moved to a tiny, off-the-grid cabin in the Colorado mountains, and wrote about that as well.
posted by ryanshepard at 8:18 AM on September 10 [1 favorite]


Uncanny Valley: A Memoir about the authors time working in a silicon valley startup.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 8:19 AM on September 10 [4 favorites]


Shoutout for my friend's On The Red Hill.

From the NYT review: This lovely memoir... On the Red Hill is many things: an examination of the intertwined lives of the four men and their rural town; a portrait of an unforgettable landscape; a social history of the queer community in Wales over many decades. It's divided into four sections, each featuring one of the men, all steeped in the natural beauty and rhythms of the countryside. Though the story is a complex one, Parker never loses track of its many threads. Just when you begin to wonder how he will bring the story back around to Rhiw Goch, he does it, time and again casting the textures and smells and colors of the farm into sharp relief.
posted by Rhedyn at 8:25 AM on September 10 [2 favorites]


I'm a fan of memoirs. Some of my recent favorites:

Us, After, is a journalist's account of life after her husband's suicide.

The Forgotten Girls: A Memoir of Friendship and Lost Promise in Rural America


Not sure if it's quite a memoir, but it's full of great stories from her career: Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife

And you didn't want celebrities, but they're not really about fame, and they're very down to earth: ... I enjoyed memoirs from Molly Shannon, Lindy West, Geena Davis, and Carrie Brownstein.
posted by hydra77 at 8:35 AM on September 10 [2 favorites]


I'd love to put in a word for my friend Tanya Ward Goodman's Leaving Tinkertown, here memoir of growing up at the wonderful Tinkertown Museum in New Mexico, and then caring for her father, the founder of the museum, as he developed Alzheimer's later in life.
posted by Dr. Wu at 8:51 AM on September 10 [1 favorite]


+1 for Uncanny Valley - you don't have to care about the tech world to find it enjoyable. If you're an elder millennial, it captures well the shift of a world that is mostly analog to one that is more digitally mediated.

The Country of the Blind by Andrew Leland is half memoir (his own experience of blindness), half history of blindness.

I've yet to read it (it's on my bedstand), but Stay True by Hua Hsu has been on a lot of lists and I've had friends recommend it too.
posted by coffeecat at 8:54 AM on September 10


"Old in Art School: A Memoir of Starting Over" is the account of an acclaimed Princeton history professor who decides to retire from teaching and enroll at the Rhode Island School of Design and get her BFA/MFA starting at age 64.

It's wonderful.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 9:08 AM on September 10 [1 favorite]


Ma and Me by Putsata Reang. Beautifully written.
posted by bq at 9:29 AM on September 10


I liked Stay True by Hua Hsu. I don't know that it's an important read, but it's moving in a low key way and well written.

A lot of people I know really loved Barbarian Days by William Finnegan. I got a little bored even though it should really have been up my alley. It won the Pulitzer.

I enjoyed Just Kids by Patti Smith. She's a bit overheated in places but it's a great portrait of being young and arty in NYC in that time period.

Mary Karr's memoirs are great, I loved The Liar's Club especially.

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel if you're interested in the graphic novel format. Followed by Are You My Mother.
posted by vunder at 9:50 AM on September 10 [1 favorite]


I loved When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. I don't recomment it if you or a loved one is currently dealing with a heavy medical situation; he wrote it when he had terminal cancer. For me, it was one of those memiors that make me feel like I've just met a really unusual person and sat up talking all night.

Book trailer: again, I don't recommend if you are having any kind of medical trauma right now, unless maybe it helps you to hear about others' experiences.
posted by BibiRose at 10:22 AM on September 10 [1 favorite]


I recently read the memoir of a queer woman who lived with the impacts of childhood polio.

It’s part of a really interesting series from University of Nebraska Press called American Lives. I’ve only read the one book in the series so far but I think the inspiration for the series is collecting and publishing memoirs from normal people.

https://www.nebraskapress.unl.edu/nebraska/9781496207197/a-certain-loneliness/

posted by forkisbetter at 10:47 AM on September 10


Leaving isn't the Hardest Thing by Lauren Hough.

”A memoir in essays about so many things—growing up in an abusive cult, coming of age as a lesbian in the military, forced out by homophobia, living on the margins as a working class woman and what it’s like to grow into the person you are meant to be. "
Funny, sad, profane, insightful... I really liked this book.
posted by evilmomlady at 11:10 AM on September 10 [2 favorites]


Seconding Crying in H Mart and Leaving isn't the Hardest Thing. Ducks by Kate Beaton was also great.

The Best Minds and Hidden Valley Road were both gutting.
posted by hepta at 11:26 AM on September 10 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure how broad your definition of memoir is, but if you'll allow writing that's about one's life, even if it isn't really a whole life story, then I recommend books by Sue Hubbell, specifically A Country Year and A Book of Bees. (Both are well outside your time frame, too - 1986 and 1988 - but to me, they read pretty modern-ish.)

A biography that's by a famous person but didn't read that way to me was My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor. It's about her early life, childhood through early career. Her childhood was very interesting and moving to me; her work at her last law firm was surprising and interesting as well.

Hope those aren't too far afield for you - thanks for asking this!
posted by kristi at 11:48 AM on September 10 [2 favorites]


Fern Brady’s book Strong Female Character about growing up with undiagnosed neurodivergency is fascinating, moving and funny.

She’s only famous in a Scottish comedian kind of way, and the book is nothing to do with being well known, so I think it fits the criteria.
posted by JJZByBffqU at 12:03 PM on September 10 [4 favorites]


The Way Of The Hermit by Ken Smith (The Hermit of Treig) was heartbreaking, inspiring and funny in turns. A kind and resourceful man determined not to let misfortune and hate define his life and the world around him.
posted by queensissy at 12:16 PM on September 10


JJZByBffqU beat me to it! Nthing Fern Brady.
posted by seemoorglass at 12:51 PM on September 10


I love memoirs, too.

If you can handle a dysfunctional family, The Glass Castle. It's the best book I've ever read, even though I'm quite sensitive about parental abuse and neglect. The author and her siblings are incredibly resilient, and the book left me stunned in the best way. It's a serious book, but also full of curiosity and imagination. I re-read it twice in one year because it's so full of detail and I notice more every time. It's the opposite of being twice as long as it should be. It should be twice as long as it is.

I really liked Drinking: A Love Story for giving me an idea of life with an addiction. Very good writing. It includes a wonderful friendship of two women. In fact, you may want to start with the equally great book Let's Take the Long Way Home, written by the friend in question. These books are both sad and sweet.

This last one is not as well-written as the three previous books (even though the author's other books are excellent). I'm including it anyway in case you're interested in dogs, animal behaviour, and finding your calling late in life: The Education of Will. Includes molestation and rape, but interspersed with heartwarming and interesting stories, so still overall a hopeful book.
posted by toucan at 1:50 PM on September 10


I like memoirs but rarely read them for some reason; Another Bullshit Night in Suck City was one I read a few years ago that really stuck with me.
posted by mygothlaundry at 3:29 PM on September 10 [1 favorite]


Uncanny Valley is one of my all-time favorites.

In case you want more Silicon Valley perspectives, Ellen Ullman's Close to the Machine is a classic, and her Life in Code is great as well. Small Fry, by Lisa "Yes, That Lisa" Brennan-Jobs, could've done just fine through its association with Steve Jobs but absolutely stands on its own.

I also really enjoyed Tamara Shopsin's Arbitrary Stupid Goal.
posted by omgwtfpmr at 4:23 PM on September 10


Two more -

Hell Bent For Leather: Confessions of a Heavy Metal Addict (you don't need to like metal at all to appreciate this wonderful memoir)
and
Bad Kid: A Memoir (you don't need to have been a teen goth in the '80s etc. etc. etc.)
posted by queensissy at 5:57 PM on September 10


Oh I loved Stay True. I'm really picky esp about memoir. I also disliked Educated bc it read like torture porn and I truly could not believe how someone could have sustained THAT many blows to the head without a TBI. Anyway.

I also loved when breath becomes air as above. I am enjoying telltale hearts but I don't love true author and the dialogue is stilted/unrealistic. I loved truth and beauty but Greeley's family has issues with it so ymmv. I liked how to say Babylon a lot but it was a bit long and something predictable and disappointing happened so that was upsetting.

Loathed Maria bamford's book UGH.

They called us enemy is great.

I really liked Matthew Perry book but again a bit long and repetitive.

I REALLY disliked page boy. And I'm glad my mom died which I DNF .

I loved becoming

Also the other Wes Moore was so good.

Know my name was phenomenal. I had to take several breaks while reading.

I liked brain on fire.

I HATED maybe you should talk to someone.

I liked lab girl a lot.
posted by bookworm4125 at 7:49 PM on September 10 [1 favorite]


Argh why is the window on mobile so finicky?! I liked I am I am I am as well as this is going to hurt . Omg autobiography of Malcom x is excellent. I HATED inheritance. I rated good talk 5/5 on good reads which is rare for me; I guess I liked it but
I don't remember it. I loved beautiful boy (read it late into the night).I think I liked fun home as above but I really disliked are you my mother. Genderqueer is really good. Unlike those above I really disliked uncanny valley. Loved the end of your life book club. I found wintering really pretentious and boring and DNF. Hated sociopath and DNF.

I am super opinionated so I hope my answers don't offend anyone; it's all about personal taste of course!
posted by bookworm4125 at 7:59 PM on September 10 [1 favorite]


I don't usually read memoirs, but I really enjoyed Welcome to the Goddamn Ice Cube. "Blair Braverman fell in love with the North at an early age: By the time she was nineteen, she had left her home in California, moved to Norway to learn how to drive sled dogs, and worked as a tour guide on a glacier in Alaska."
posted by hovey at 8:41 PM on September 10 [1 favorite]


Hard agree on Stay True, Crying in H Mart, and Another Bullshit Night in Suck City.

I also just finished A Light In the Cracks, which I wouldn't necessarily say was about a relatable life - the memoirist is/was a competitive rock climber, while I had a massive bowl of chili and two glasses of wine for dinner tonight instead of getting on the treadmill like I was planning to do - as much as it is about her extremely relatable struggles to cope with an unfathomably hard situation that she found herself in and its aftermath.
posted by pdb at 9:20 PM on September 10


Blonde Indian by Ernestine Hayes.
posted by gudrun at 7:36 AM on September 11


Two I've really enjoyed recently are:

Wild Game, by Adrienne Brodeur. Her mom started a long-running affair when the author was a teenager, and recruited her to help cover their tracks. It's like real-life gossip, but the author is also very thoughtful about the family dynamics at play.

The Fixed Stars, by Molly Wizenberg. She was married to a man when she realized she was also attracted to women, and it kicked off a bunch of processing and changes in her life. Also very thoughtful (I enjoy memoirs much more when I don't find the author's behavior oblivious).
posted by thoughtful_ravioli at 8:19 AM on September 11


I loved truth and beauty but Greeley's family has issues with it so ymmv.

Truth and Beauty felt strange to me, a bit intrusive, and judgmental in places. I loved Grealy's own memoir, Autobiography of a Face. I was devastated to hear Grealy had died. That was back when I was naive enough to think writing a book that good meant the writer would be OK.
posted by BibiRose at 10:24 AM on September 11


I really enjoyed Alexa Stevenson's memoir, Half Baked: The Story of My Nerves, My Newborn, and How We Both Learned to Breathe. The author has a daughter born 15 weeks early, so most of it takes place in the NICU as they try to keep the baby alive. I'm fascinated by both babies and medical stuff, so this was a great fit for me. It's definitely harrowing, and is probably a tough read if you're a parent or have lost a child, but I found it really gripping.
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 4:09 PM on September 11


The Empathy Diaries by Sherry Turkle is the memoir by a psychologist who studied the effects of computer use on their users. It has a lot about her experiences (and difficulties) as a female faculty member at MIT, and her courtship and marriage to a prominent computer scientist.

It's a complement to Close to the Machine and Uncanny Valley mentioned upthread. It's another memoir by a woman in the computer culture, but the Boston/academic end this time, instead of the Silicon Valley/industry end.
posted by JonJacky at 6:57 PM on September 11


I just read a really interesting memoir, with the distinction that it limits itself to one year:

1967: How I Got There and Why I Never Left, by Robyn Hitchcock

Robyn is a 13-year-old English boy whose eccentric parents ship him off to a boarding school, where he runs into meatheads and groovers and overgrown schoolboys who can't seem to move away. He's a sensitive kid who discovers pop music at the exact moment that pop music is discovering what it can do. There's a thread of whimsical fiction in the story, which you may or may not like -- he's trying to describe what it felt like to be there, and so (for instance) even if the Scholars don't actually sleep upside-down in their black robes, that's the vibe he gets from them. Hitchcock eventually became a professional musician and songwriter who had some hits on college radio in the 1980s, and his songs definitely confirm the second half of the book's title.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 8:36 PM on September 11 [1 favorite]


A lovely memoir I've read recently is Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H (a pesudonym). The author is a woman of south Asian heritage who grew up in a middle eastern country before moving to the US. She is also a butch lesbian Muslim who continues to find love and beauty in Islam despite overwhelming pressure from both her Muslim and LGBT circles. The book intertwines her story with the stories of the Muslim prophets and is just a lovely, refreshing point of view.
posted by goo at 1:24 PM on September 12 [1 favorite]


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