Putting the Me in Memoir

November 23, 2019 2:54 PM

I've found in recent years that memoirs are my preferred reading genre. I'm interested in exploring more memoirs that are written from the perspective of middle-aged or older non-celebrity/non-wealthy women. For some reason I've found this --my own--demographic to be underrepresented in the memoir landscape I've explored so far. The organizing theme can be later stage parenting, empty nesting, aging parents, career, self -discovery, or whatever. If you've read a really good memoir lately that fits those criteria let me know!
posted by drlith to Media & Arts (24 answers total)

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal, Jeanette Winterson

Giving Up the Ghost, Hilary Mantel

Scream, Tama Janowitz

Not a memoir quite, but Complete Stories of Leonora Carrington is amazing and surreal and full of a personal mythos.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 3:06 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]

Definitely in the "whatever" category The Garden Cottage Diaries: My Year in the Eighteenth Century is Fiona Houston's story about living in the past. It started with the food but she ends up doing everything including dressing, writing and traveling as she would have done in the 1700's. Short and sweet, includes recipes.
posted by Botanizer at 3:18 PM on November 23, 2019

From Andrea Buchanan (mefi's own!) is The Beginning of Everything: The Year I Lost My Mind and Found Myself. Shortlisted for a PEN award last year; read an excerpt here (full disclosure, we are friends).
posted by k8lin at 3:18 PM on November 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

Tales of a Female Nomad is great. By a woman who found herself divorced and an empty-nester in her fifties and started traveling around the world.
posted by lunasol at 5:16 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

H is for Hawk, Helen Macdonald
posted by Dorinda at 5:17 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

Blackberry Winter by Margaret Meade and The Maple Sugar Book by Helen and Scott Nearing.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:19 PM on November 23, 2019

Woodswoman by Anne LaBastille and A Country Year by Sue Hubbell.
posted by gudrun at 7:49 PM on November 23, 2019

So it's slightly arguable as to whether she is a non-celebrity because she was a well-respected author at the time, but I think that still falls well outside of "celebrity" circles.

Anyway, "An American Childhood" by Annie Dillard (written at age 43) is one of my favourite memoirs (and books) of all time.
posted by 256 at 9:42 PM on November 23, 2019

Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott
posted by saltypup at 11:17 PM on November 23, 2019

You might enjoy Frances Partridge's diaries, especially the later ones.
posted by huimangm at 12:25 AM on November 24, 2019

Seconding Winterson and Fiona Houston. Adding On Chapel Sands by Laura Cumming and Who Was Sophie? The Two Lives of My Grandmother: Poet and Stranger by Celia Robertson. Both of these are on that memoir / family biography border but hopefully qualify. Also Somebody I Used to Know by Wendy Mitchell, about her dementia.
posted by paduasoy at 12:37 AM on November 24, 2019

What to Look for in Winter by Candia McWilliam
posted by Morpeth at 3:27 AM on November 24, 2019

I especially enjoy memoirs written by people my age or older. I can relate more often and I appreciate the wisdom older writers bring.

Seconding Scream and Why Be Happy.. although both can be a just a teensy bit exhausting at times.

A "celebrity" but older: Keep It Moving by Twyla Tharp Fun, inspirational.

Although, I haven't read any of the Dani Shapiro memoirs, she meets many of your criteria.
posted by loveandhappiness at 9:06 AM on November 24, 2019

Back to add that while Twyla Tharp reflects a lot on her life, the book above is also a how-to to keep moving mentally and physically according to Twyla. So, if you’re in the mood for more reflection and less instruction, avoid.
posted by loveandhappiness at 9:44 AM on November 24, 2019

Heavy by Kiese Laymon
9 Continents by Xiaolu Guo
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
posted by gabeos at 12:41 PM on November 24, 2019

Mary Cantwell wrote two memoirs (that I know of) about her life in NYC, first in magazine publishing and then as a journalist, and they were originally published separately. The second one was called Speaking with Strangers, about her later adulthood. Looks like they're now published in one volume: Manhattan Memoir.
posted by scratch at 3:12 PM on November 24, 2019

Inheritance by Dani Shapiro. I found it riveting. It's about a woman who discovers in middle age that she's not who she thought she was and suddenly a lot of things about her past make sense.

I also really enjoyed Kristin Kimball's two memoirs of farming in far upstate NY. Great reads, not in a goofy, city-girl-moves-to-a-farm way but an honest look at what farming really means both from the farmer and the consumer perspective.

Both women are accomplished writers. I'm jealous you get to read these for the first time.
posted by Kangaroo at 3:48 PM on November 24, 2019

Betty McDonald wrote a bunch of memoirs, which are amusing. I especially like The Plague and I.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:15 PM on November 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

Playing With Dynamite by Sharon Harrigan. (She was my college roommate so I know she is 50-ish.)
posted by matildaben at 9:57 PM on November 24, 2019

Lab Girl by Hope Jahren is great.

Her book Lab Girl (2016) has been applauded as both "a personal memoir and a paean to the natural world", a literary fusion of memoir and science writing, and "a compellingly earthy narrative."

In addition to the Wikipedia links above, here's one to her lab in Oslo (http: only). I'm glad I found this discussion. My sisters are probably tired of hearing about the book.
posted by kingless at 2:52 AM on November 25, 2019

I have really enjoyed Molly Wizenberg's previous memoirs about food (she's the author of the beloved and now defunct blog Orangette), marriage, and her musician husband who decided to open a restaurant. I am especially anticipating her new memoir, The Fixed Stars, "about her startling realization that, despite a happy marriage and a young child, her sexual orientation changed, and about norms that no longer fit, sex and gender, identity and parenthood, and the myriad ways we make loving, healthy families." She's a bit younger (I think in her 30's) than your ask but she's what I think of as an old soul.

Memoirs by women revolving around food are my jam (ha!), so I am also absolutely mad for Ruth Reichl, who has several wonderful memoirs. I'm not sure I could pick just one to recommend, though Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise is a really fun read with sharp criticism of how high-end restaurants disregard older women patrons.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 3:50 PM on November 25, 2019

Well she is well-known in some circles but I wouldn't call her a celebrity per se - To Throw Away Unopened by Viv Albertine is a pretty unflinching look at aging as a woman, with a healthy dose of dealing with ugly family history and dynamics as we age. Not necessarily an easy read (lots of discussion and description of abuse for example) but it's one of my favourites.
posted by aiglet at 11:48 AM on November 26, 2019

Came back to add Margaret Forster - My Life in Houses by Margaret Forster review – a house is not always a home. The link is to a rather negative review, but I found it interesting.
posted by paduasoy at 2:38 PM on November 30, 2019

Oh, and Together, Alone: A Memoir of Marriage and Place by Susan Wittig Albert.

Perhaps also Margaret Powell's memoirs.
posted by paduasoy at 2:46 PM on November 30, 2019