Can I finish this divorce myself?
August 29, 2024 8:19 AM Subscribe
With most of the paperwork complete, my divorce attorney has catastrophically dropped the ball. Can I fire her and complete the rest of the process myself? Have you done your own divorce filing, and is it tremendously difficult?
YANML, TINLA etc. Location is PA; we've filled out, notarized, and submitted the settlement agreement. Filed the complaint and affidavit of service, signed the affidavits of consent and intention of waiver. And I found out that my attorney waited almost two months to actually file the affidavits/waivers and the praecipe to transmit. She's not answering emails or phone calls. From my understanding, and assuming the case is sent back from family court as I suspect it will be, the remaining steps will be:
-re-file the affidavits of consent (as they must be filed within 30 days of signing)
-re-file the praecipe to transmit record
-receive the decree
-fill out and file a notice of intention to resume a prior name
-draft and file a QDRO to divide the retirement accounts
It seems like a lot, but my ex and I are ready for this to be done and the delay has already put a big strain on both our resources. Would it be completely unhinged for a person with no legal background to try to finish the rest of these tasks? Or should I drag my lawyer through the rest of the process just to make sure it gets done?
additional notes: amicable divorce, no children, straightforward settlement agreement. I will be filing a complaint with the disciplinary board after this.
YANML, TINLA etc. Location is PA; we've filled out, notarized, and submitted the settlement agreement. Filed the complaint and affidavit of service, signed the affidavits of consent and intention of waiver. And I found out that my attorney waited almost two months to actually file the affidavits/waivers and the praecipe to transmit. She's not answering emails or phone calls. From my understanding, and assuming the case is sent back from family court as I suspect it will be, the remaining steps will be:
-re-file the affidavits of consent (as they must be filed within 30 days of signing)
-re-file the praecipe to transmit record
-receive the decree
-fill out and file a notice of intention to resume a prior name
-draft and file a QDRO to divide the retirement accounts
It seems like a lot, but my ex and I are ready for this to be done and the delay has already put a big strain on both our resources. Would it be completely unhinged for a person with no legal background to try to finish the rest of these tasks? Or should I drag my lawyer through the rest of the process just to make sure it gets done?
additional notes: amicable divorce, no children, straightforward settlement agreement. I will be filing a complaint with the disciplinary board after this.
I fired my attorney around the same time bc my ex started firing off emails that my attorney insisted on responding to and billing me. I told them I would respond to her attorney. She said, "Fire me or it is appropriate that I respond." So I did. Finished it with the help of my ex attorney since everything was already agreed upon. Judge had no issue.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:57 AM on August 29 [2 favorites]
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:57 AM on August 29 [2 favorites]
Does the attorney have a paralegal? Was the attorney in the hospital? Is the attorney at a firm and have you contacted anyone else at the firm for an explanation? Filing things that don’t require motions 30 days past the deadline is kind of like…unhinged behavior without some reasonable excuse. (And if there’s a reasonable excuse for a late filing, family court *might* not kick it back, depending)
I did my own divorce as a second year law student, and looking back at it, I still fucked some stuff up, mainly in the drafting, that I wish I had done better. No major errors, but stuff a full attorney who practiced in family law instead of criminal would have handled better. So it’s theoretically possible, and people do it every day, but it can also bite you on the ass.
posted by corb at 9:16 AM on August 29
I did my own divorce as a second year law student, and looking back at it, I still fucked some stuff up, mainly in the drafting, that I wish I had done better. No major errors, but stuff a full attorney who practiced in family law instead of criminal would have handled better. So it’s theoretically possible, and people do it every day, but it can also bite you on the ass.
posted by corb at 9:16 AM on August 29
Check out your county family court page. They may have guidance on filing yourself.
-draft and file a QDRO to divide the retirement accounts
For this, my ex and I paid a person other than the divorce attorney to do create the QDRO. I would not recommend doing it yourself, but that's not something your attorney would've done anyway... My attorney recommended the person we used. However, you should be able to find a lawyer that specializes in QDRO on your own
posted by skunk pig at 9:47 AM on August 29 [2 favorites]
-draft and file a QDRO to divide the retirement accounts
For this, my ex and I paid a person other than the divorce attorney to do create the QDRO. I would not recommend doing it yourself, but that's not something your attorney would've done anyway... My attorney recommended the person we used. However, you should be able to find a lawyer that specializes in QDRO on your own
posted by skunk pig at 9:47 AM on August 29 [2 favorites]
I rolled my own divorce. All told, if you don't count the division of assets (I don't), I think my divorce cost me a couple hundred bucks. The county had forms available for everything, it was a matter of filling them out, getting her signature on them, filing them at the courthouse, showing up for court.
My legal background: I have a bachelor's degree in creative writing.
posted by rocketman at 10:22 AM on August 29 [4 favorites]
My legal background: I have a bachelor's degree in creative writing.
posted by rocketman at 10:22 AM on August 29 [4 favorites]
I also rolled my own and I had two medium sized kids and a house in the mix. The total cost was ~$250. A local law firm had a "DIY Divorce in the 4th Judicial District" page on their website with step by step instructions that made it extra easy, right down to the room numbers to go to. Odds are the local courthouse has a handout for pro se folks with simple divorce cases like the one you describe. If you are on decent terms with each other you could probably get away with both marching down there, filling it out, and having the clerk take care of the usual notary services like they did at our court.
I did not, however, roll my own QDRO. Once I had the decree in hand, I handed the final orders and $500 to a co-worker's wife who happened to be a forensic CPA at a local law firm.
posted by SegFaultCoreDump at 12:13 PM on August 29 [1 favorite]
I did not, however, roll my own QDRO. Once I had the decree in hand, I handed the final orders and $500 to a co-worker's wife who happened to be a forensic CPA at a local law firm.
posted by SegFaultCoreDump at 12:13 PM on August 29 [1 favorite]
My ex filled out and filed the (relatively basic--no assets, no kids, amicable split) divorce paperwork himself, and that's how I got a call from him three years later letting me know that the court system had just notified him that we were not, in fact, legally divorced. Because there had been some error with the paperwork. So...I would not recommend doing it on your own.
posted by sugarbomb at 1:37 PM on August 29 [2 favorites]
posted by sugarbomb at 1:37 PM on August 29 [2 favorites]
My amicable ex and I used LegalZoom. It was super cheap. The third time we tried filing we did it correctly and it worked.
posted by Morpeth at 2:14 PM on August 30
posted by Morpeth at 2:14 PM on August 30
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posted by ttyn at 8:27 AM on August 29 [2 favorites]