Got any good advice for a PoC USian post election?
November 6, 2024 1:22 AM Subscribe
Not in a happy place. Can already feel my mind about to launch into a worse place. Please give mental health advice suggestions for books to read, your tips for surviving (or, dare I ask, thriving) in 21st century right wing regime, pointers towards activities I can incorporate into my daily practice that bend the long arc of history toward justice.
Best answer: I don't have great ideas, but one thing is leaning hard on my community. I didn't have much of one in 2016 (had just moved to a new city) which made it all so much worse. I don't just mean my racial/ethnic community, more like surrounding myself with people who share my values.
posted by basalganglia at 2:11 AM on November 6, 2024 [7 favorites]
posted by basalganglia at 2:11 AM on November 6, 2024 [7 favorites]
Best answer: Find something to take joy so that you don't just focus on the despair. Start something new where you can see improvement little by little.
posted by Art_Pot at 2:41 AM on November 6, 2024 [5 favorites]
posted by Art_Pot at 2:41 AM on November 6, 2024 [5 favorites]
Best answer: I wish I had something beyond terror and a deep sadness and bafflement for you. I am following this thread in search of answers too. May we all manage to find some manner of peace.
posted by Alensin at 3:03 AM on November 6, 2024 [7 favorites]
posted by Alensin at 3:03 AM on November 6, 2024 [7 favorites]
Best answer: A former roommate of mine shared this:
10 Ways To be Prepared And Grounded If Trump Wins
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:16 AM on November 6, 2024 [26 favorites]
10 Ways To be Prepared And Grounded If Trump Wins
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:16 AM on November 6, 2024 [26 favorites]
Best answer: You don't know what's in the future, you're only telling yourself a story about it. I know this because I'm telling a similar story. Thankfully, I'm in a place where I can recognize that my brain is a suggestion machine. It's constantly suggesting feelings and stories, but I don't have to accept it's suggestions. It will probably keep suggesting the same things, and I will keep responding, over and over, "thanks, but that's not useful right now". Eventually, my brain will get less anxious and move on to something else.
Meditation and buddhist/stoic/taoist philosophy. The meditation is literally practicing, over and over, gently telling your brain that while you appreciate it's input, you're not taking it's suggestion right now.
Wish you well.
posted by Awfki at 4:19 AM on November 6, 2024 [31 favorites]
Meditation and buddhist/stoic/taoist philosophy. The meditation is literally practicing, over and over, gently telling your brain that while you appreciate it's input, you're not taking it's suggestion right now.
Wish you well.
posted by Awfki at 4:19 AM on November 6, 2024 [31 favorites]
Best answer: History doesn't end.
posted by SoberHighland at 4:26 AM on November 6, 2024 [9 favorites]
posted by SoberHighland at 4:26 AM on November 6, 2024 [9 favorites]
Best answer: I don't know if this will help. I ❤️ the Korean Vegan. https://youtu.be/XEXps5G8i3w?si=gHx5xfwB2DejHe3I
posted by foxjacket at 5:00 AM on November 6, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by foxjacket at 5:00 AM on November 6, 2024 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I read this Rick Perlstein article yesterday, and am going to be thinking about it a lot in the coming days.
posted by tonycpsu at 5:42 AM on November 6, 2024 [6 favorites]
posted by tonycpsu at 5:42 AM on November 6, 2024 [6 favorites]
Best answer: History doesn't end.
I mean, eventually. But not yet and (almost certainly) not because of this.
posted by Foosnark at 5:50 AM on November 6, 2024 [1 favorite]
I mean, eventually. But not yet and (almost certainly) not because of this.
posted by Foosnark at 5:50 AM on November 6, 2024 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Came here looking for suggestions to help along my own mental health today and this response is the opposite of that.
I read this Rick Perlstein article yesterday, and am going to be thinking about it a lot in the coming days.
The article is repeatedly asking, hypothetically, "what would you do?" about myriad imaginative, dystopian scenarios. My mind is great at imagining and worrying. If you are looking for ~answers~ of what to do, that's not the article for you.
posted by shesdeadimalive at 6:01 AM on November 6, 2024 [34 favorites]
I read this Rick Perlstein article yesterday, and am going to be thinking about it a lot in the coming days.
The article is repeatedly asking, hypothetically, "what would you do?" about myriad imaginative, dystopian scenarios. My mind is great at imagining and worrying. If you are looking for ~answers~ of what to do, that's not the article for you.
posted by shesdeadimalive at 6:01 AM on November 6, 2024 [34 favorites]
Best answer: I keep returning to two things.
1) building on the idea of community, trying to spread as much love as I can in the world. The time for action will be soon but right now is the time to love each other as much as we possibly can.
2) we aren’t the only country to have elected a far-right or fascist leader recently. I’m looking to the people I know who live in other countries with leaders like Trump. There is still joy and possibility in their lives, even though their fight is hard, just like ours will be.
Love and joy are exactly what the far right wants to take away from us so let’s stick it to them and not let them.
posted by capricorn at 6:22 AM on November 6, 2024 [47 favorites]
1) building on the idea of community, trying to spread as much love as I can in the world. The time for action will be soon but right now is the time to love each other as much as we possibly can.
2) we aren’t the only country to have elected a far-right or fascist leader recently. I’m looking to the people I know who live in other countries with leaders like Trump. There is still joy and possibility in their lives, even though their fight is hard, just like ours will be.
Love and joy are exactly what the far right wants to take away from us so let’s stick it to them and not let them.
posted by capricorn at 6:22 AM on November 6, 2024 [47 favorites]
Best answer: The link EmpressCallipygos posted I've found very helpful, far more than the dystopian rumination link, given the timing. I.e., this is literally just the day after, so we're still early in it, and it makes the most sense at this point to start laying the emotional/interpersonal groundwork. To that end, I'm just gonna copy and paste item #2, "Find others who you trust," from EC's link:
...But the emotional landscape matters a great deal. Hannah Arendt’s “The Origins of Totalitarianism” explored how destructive ideologies like fascism and autocracy grow. She used the word verlassenheit — often translated as loneliness — as a central ingredient. As she meant it, loneliness isn’t a feeling but a kind of social isolation of the mind. Your thinking becomes closed off to the world and a sense of being abandoned to each other.
She’s identifying a societal breakdown that we’re all experiencing. Under a Trump presidency, this trend will continue to accelerate. The constant attacks on social systems — teachers, health care and infrastructure — make us turn away from leaning on each other and towards ideologically simple answers that increase isolation (e.g. “distrust government,” “MAGA is nuts,” “anyone who votes that way doesn’t care about you”).
In extreme cases, like Chile in the 1970s and ‘80s, the dictatorship aimed to keep people in such tiny nodes of trust that everyone was an island unto themselves. At social gatherings and parties, people would commonly not introduce each other by name out of fear of being too involved. Fear breeds distance.
We have to consciously break that distance. In Chile they organized under the guise of affinity groups. This was, as its name suggests, people who shared some connections and trust. Finding just a few people who you trust to regularly act with and touch base with is central.
Following Trump’s win: Get some people to regularly touch base with. Use that trust to explore your own thinking and support each other to stay sharp and grounded.
For the last several months I’ve been hosting a regular group at my house to “explore what is up with these times.” Our crew thinks differently but invests in trust. We emote, cry, sing, laugh, sit in stillness and think together.
...
All of us will benefit from actively organized nodes to help stabilize us. In a destabilized society, you need people who help ground you.
posted by obliterati at 6:57 AM on November 6, 2024 [20 favorites]
...But the emotional landscape matters a great deal. Hannah Arendt’s “The Origins of Totalitarianism” explored how destructive ideologies like fascism and autocracy grow. She used the word verlassenheit — often translated as loneliness — as a central ingredient. As she meant it, loneliness isn’t a feeling but a kind of social isolation of the mind. Your thinking becomes closed off to the world and a sense of being abandoned to each other.
She’s identifying a societal breakdown that we’re all experiencing. Under a Trump presidency, this trend will continue to accelerate. The constant attacks on social systems — teachers, health care and infrastructure — make us turn away from leaning on each other and towards ideologically simple answers that increase isolation (e.g. “distrust government,” “MAGA is nuts,” “anyone who votes that way doesn’t care about you”).
In extreme cases, like Chile in the 1970s and ‘80s, the dictatorship aimed to keep people in such tiny nodes of trust that everyone was an island unto themselves. At social gatherings and parties, people would commonly not introduce each other by name out of fear of being too involved. Fear breeds distance.
We have to consciously break that distance. In Chile they organized under the guise of affinity groups. This was, as its name suggests, people who shared some connections and trust. Finding just a few people who you trust to regularly act with and touch base with is central.
Following Trump’s win: Get some people to regularly touch base with. Use that trust to explore your own thinking and support each other to stay sharp and grounded.
For the last several months I’ve been hosting a regular group at my house to “explore what is up with these times.” Our crew thinks differently but invests in trust. We emote, cry, sing, laugh, sit in stillness and think together.
...
All of us will benefit from actively organized nodes to help stabilize us. In a destabilized society, you need people who help ground you.
posted by obliterati at 6:57 AM on November 6, 2024 [20 favorites]
Best answer: So, this may not be for everyone, but I am personally finding it helpful to read histories/books about previous fights for democracy in the US. I'm finding a strange kind of comfort in realizing that there have always been very, very good reasons for those who came before us to despair and rage, and I personally find it helpful to read about those who have felt those same feelings, often in political and social moments marked by the same violence, apathy, and hatred that we are contending with today.
For me, today, that's going to be Jonathan Eig's biography of Martin Luther King. What stood out to me about this book was just how often King and many leaders of the civil rights movement felt despair, rage, and profound terror. I find King's late writings in particular to be moving in this regard: he, like many of his fellow activists, spoke often of hopes, and dreams, and aspiration, but just as often of despair and uncertainty and anger. Reading the historical precedent for what I'm feeling makes me feel far less alone in the utter fury and despair I feel right now.
posted by lavenderhaze at 6:58 AM on November 6, 2024 [20 favorites]
For me, today, that's going to be Jonathan Eig's biography of Martin Luther King. What stood out to me about this book was just how often King and many leaders of the civil rights movement felt despair, rage, and profound terror. I find King's late writings in particular to be moving in this regard: he, like many of his fellow activists, spoke often of hopes, and dreams, and aspiration, but just as often of despair and uncertainty and anger. Reading the historical precedent for what I'm feeling makes me feel far less alone in the utter fury and despair I feel right now.
posted by lavenderhaze at 6:58 AM on November 6, 2024 [20 favorites]
Best answer: Purely on the mental health side, here are some ways to calm your body and your nervous system so that you can use your energy in productive ways:
Guided Progressive Muscle relaxation if you can find a calm, quiet place to spend sixteen minutes to help yourself relax.
Guided meditation "Accepting Emotions" - a secular, calm voice guiding you in how to accept painful emotions. Twelve minutes.
Quick ways to activate your parasympathetic nervous that gets you out of flight / flight and able to rest:
Cold water in your face, or a cold, wet cloth on your neck.
Box breathing: Deep, slow breath in - hold it, deep slow breath out, hold it. Try to make each stage - in, hold, out, hold, equally long.
Go outside and look at something far away - clouds or the horizon. This has a physiological calming effect.
Listen to nature sounds: ocean, distant thunder, rain, rain on car roof etc, whatever you find soothing. Some examples: Rain with distant thunder ocean sounds Rain on car roof
If you're having a panic attack or feel trapped, this is an emergency calming technique:
Ease your breathing
Try to find three things you can see. Just note them. "Tiles. Hand. Shampoo bottle"
Try to find three things you can hear, close by, or far away.
Try to find three things you can feel - your clothes on your body, your breath on your lips.
Check where your hands are.
Check where your feet are.
When you're feeling calmer and have space to think, take stock of your situation. What can you control? What is out of your control? Take careful note of these things, and try to accept that the things that are out of your control, are not your responsibility, and you can't do anything about them. Make your world as small as you need to, find small, useful things to do that make things better even if it's only in a very small, private way.
Watch your negative small talk. Don't try to fight it, don't judge it or try to force it to stop - just note it in a non-judgemental way. "Hmm. I'm ruminating again." or "I'm fighting with an imaginary person" etc. The act of noting your thoughts puts a bit of space between them and you, and makes it easier for you not to be swept away by them.
Try to replace catastrophising with realistic compassion. "I don't know what will happen, it might be bad, but I will find a way to cope, just like I have in the past." or "Soon this moment will pass. It will soon be a memory. I won't be trapped in this moment forever, even if it feels that way."
Sending you all the kind, compassionate vibes. Be so, so gentle and patient with yourself.
posted by Zumbador at 7:19 AM on November 6, 2024 [36 favorites]
Guided Progressive Muscle relaxation if you can find a calm, quiet place to spend sixteen minutes to help yourself relax.
Guided meditation "Accepting Emotions" - a secular, calm voice guiding you in how to accept painful emotions. Twelve minutes.
Quick ways to activate your parasympathetic nervous that gets you out of flight / flight and able to rest:
Cold water in your face, or a cold, wet cloth on your neck.
Box breathing: Deep, slow breath in - hold it, deep slow breath out, hold it. Try to make each stage - in, hold, out, hold, equally long.
Go outside and look at something far away - clouds or the horizon. This has a physiological calming effect.
Listen to nature sounds: ocean, distant thunder, rain, rain on car roof etc, whatever you find soothing. Some examples: Rain with distant thunder ocean sounds Rain on car roof
If you're having a panic attack or feel trapped, this is an emergency calming technique:
Ease your breathing
Try to find three things you can see. Just note them. "Tiles. Hand. Shampoo bottle"
Try to find three things you can hear, close by, or far away.
Try to find three things you can feel - your clothes on your body, your breath on your lips.
Check where your hands are.
Check where your feet are.
When you're feeling calmer and have space to think, take stock of your situation. What can you control? What is out of your control? Take careful note of these things, and try to accept that the things that are out of your control, are not your responsibility, and you can't do anything about them. Make your world as small as you need to, find small, useful things to do that make things better even if it's only in a very small, private way.
Watch your negative small talk. Don't try to fight it, don't judge it or try to force it to stop - just note it in a non-judgemental way. "Hmm. I'm ruminating again." or "I'm fighting with an imaginary person" etc. The act of noting your thoughts puts a bit of space between them and you, and makes it easier for you not to be swept away by them.
Try to replace catastrophising with realistic compassion. "I don't know what will happen, it might be bad, but I will find a way to cope, just like I have in the past." or "Soon this moment will pass. It will soon be a memory. I won't be trapped in this moment forever, even if it feels that way."
Sending you all the kind, compassionate vibes. Be so, so gentle and patient with yourself.
posted by Zumbador at 7:19 AM on November 6, 2024 [36 favorites]
Best answer: The "10 ways" article, linked above, is down for (for me at least). Here's the wayback link.
posted by mabelstreet at 7:27 AM on November 6, 2024 [10 favorites]
posted by mabelstreet at 7:27 AM on November 6, 2024 [10 favorites]
Best answer: Drop the "https://" in the 10 ways url when you open it. That's how I got it to work for me
posted by JoeXIII007 at 7:46 AM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
posted by JoeXIII007 at 7:46 AM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Another link for the '10 Ways' article above
posted by shesdeadimalive at 7:46 AM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
posted by shesdeadimalive at 7:46 AM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
Best answer: The "10 Ways" article is very good. The other one gave me a bleeding ulcer. Building deep, strong communal ties is going to be extremely important. I'd love to see us help each other find communities of support geographically. Having like minded people I can talk to face to face, to strategize with, commiserate with and help support would be wonderful.
posted by pjsky at 7:51 AM on November 6, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by pjsky at 7:51 AM on November 6, 2024 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Just as a content warning for that 10 Ways article, it spends a fair amount of time describing the things Trump is going to do to us now that he's seized power again. The ten steps themselves are fine, and I think this will be helpful for me at a later point, but for anybody else who is still struggling with catastrophizing or physically shaking, maybe skim it first before deciding to delve into its details
posted by DingoMutt at 8:16 AM on November 6, 2024 [5 favorites]
posted by DingoMutt at 8:16 AM on November 6, 2024 [5 favorites]
Best answer: I hope "Finding Steady Ground" is some help.
posted by humbug at 8:34 AM on November 6, 2024 [5 favorites]
posted by humbug at 8:34 AM on November 6, 2024 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Get outside, preferably with a friend or a friend's dog and walk around. Hug your pet, or your partner, or your neighbor, or whoever offers comfort. Remind yourself there are things you love doing that are not online, and stay offline as much as possible today if you can. If you like to bake, bake something. If you like to eat, find a treat you don't normally have and enjoy it, again, with a friend is best.
posted by drossdragon at 8:49 AM on November 6, 2024 [5 favorites]
posted by drossdragon at 8:49 AM on November 6, 2024 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Anil Dash had some wise words in 2016 which are relevant again now.
posted by zadcat at 9:37 AM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
posted by zadcat at 9:37 AM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Rebecca Solnit's Hope in the Dark was helpful to me 8 years ago, and it has affected (and enlightened) my views ever since. I've given away or gifted numerous copies, and just ordered 3 more. Here's an article that contains some quotes, a decent summary, and a link to purchase the book.
"Hope locates itself in the premises that we don’t know what will happen and that in the spaciousness of uncertainty is room to act. When you recognize uncertainty, you recognize that you may be able to influence the outcomes — you alone or you in concert with a few dozen or several million others. Hope is an embrace of the unknown and the unknowable, an alternative to the certainty of both optimists and pessimists. Optimists think it will all be fine without our involvement; pessimists take the opposite position; both excuse themselves from acting. It’s the belief that what we do matters even though how and when it may matter, who and what it may impact, are not things we can know beforehand. We may not, in fact, know them afterward either, but they matter all the same, and history is full of people whose influence was most powerful after they were gone."
posted by EKStickland at 9:52 AM on November 6, 2024 [15 favorites]
"Hope locates itself in the premises that we don’t know what will happen and that in the spaciousness of uncertainty is room to act. When you recognize uncertainty, you recognize that you may be able to influence the outcomes — you alone or you in concert with a few dozen or several million others. Hope is an embrace of the unknown and the unknowable, an alternative to the certainty of both optimists and pessimists. Optimists think it will all be fine without our involvement; pessimists take the opposite position; both excuse themselves from acting. It’s the belief that what we do matters even though how and when it may matter, who and what it may impact, are not things we can know beforehand. We may not, in fact, know them afterward either, but they matter all the same, and history is full of people whose influence was most powerful after they were gone."
posted by EKStickland at 9:52 AM on November 6, 2024 [15 favorites]
Best answer: Find something for your brain to do, anything, besides sit around in silence and ruminate and despair. If that means meditation, great. A book if you can. Trash TV. Even work, if you can. Avoid the news at all costs. Start some kind of project. Plant something. Keep the monkey mind busy for the time being or it'll drive you nuts with terror of the uncertain and unknown.
On the physical side, exercise and HUGS.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:52 AM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
On the physical side, exercise and HUGS.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:52 AM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I'm not ready to feel better, but I will definitely check out the resources here when I am.
posted by tommasz at 11:01 AM on November 6, 2024 [10 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 11:01 AM on November 6, 2024 [10 favorites]
Best answer: I’d once heard that movement can alleviate anxiety because it makes your brain feel like you’re doing something about it, so it calms down a bit. I ended up trying this out this morning when after a couple hours doom scrolling in bed my partner peer pressured me into going for a run. During the run my anxiety slowly changed into anger, and the angrier I got the harder I ran, like I was burning those feelings as fuel. It felt like a release.
And afterwards my head was clear enough that I was able to start thinking about next steps, and plan with some friends some things we could do to help our community.
Later on I ended up laying around again and the dark cloud started coming back, and the solution was to get up and move again.
So, my anecdotal evidence is that movement can actually help. I haven’t figured out how to deal with sleep yet, though.
posted by antinomia at 12:37 PM on November 6, 2024 [7 favorites]
And afterwards my head was clear enough that I was able to start thinking about next steps, and plan with some friends some things we could do to help our community.
Later on I ended up laying around again and the dark cloud started coming back, and the solution was to get up and move again.
So, my anecdotal evidence is that movement can actually help. I haven’t figured out how to deal with sleep yet, though.
posted by antinomia at 12:37 PM on November 6, 2024 [7 favorites]
Best answer: Posting this link for no real reason.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 12:45 PM on November 6, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 12:45 PM on November 6, 2024 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Oh, believe me -- that's my Standard Operating Procedure as it is.
posted by y2karl at 12:49 PM on November 6, 2024
posted by y2karl at 12:49 PM on November 6, 2024
Best answer: Being extremely disciplined about 'self-care' (a phrase I hate for how it is monetized but that none the less is a real need in our lives of constant crisis) has been and will be essential to me: yoga, exercise, walking in the woods, leaving my phone off, reading books, cooking with friends, reading poems, hot springs, art, theater, music, sometimes disassociating with weed and video games [in moderation], etc.
But for me the antidote to despair is action. We can't hide from fascism if we want to survive. This article sums up my thinking today.
posted by latkes at 1:36 PM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
But for me the antidote to despair is action. We can't hide from fascism if we want to survive. This article sums up my thinking today.
posted by latkes at 1:36 PM on November 6, 2024 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Today might be a good day to download Finch. It's a self-care app for all ages. First recommended to me by a psychologist.
From the FAQ
Finch was started by 2 friends who struggled with anxiety and depression and found self care challenging to stick with. We decided to build Finch with the mission to make self care fun and accessible after seeing many others share similar struggles.
posted by skunk pig at 2:53 PM on November 6, 2024 [6 favorites]
From the FAQ
Finch was started by 2 friends who struggled with anxiety and depression and found self care challenging to stick with. We decided to build Finch with the mission to make self care fun and accessible after seeing many others share similar struggles.
posted by skunk pig at 2:53 PM on November 6, 2024 [6 favorites]
Best answer: I moved for work to India before the election. It would be dishonest if I did not admit it was an insurance policy for the election cycle.
We returned to work, then went to an old colonial hotel for a drink. Across the yard was an English retiree we'd met the previous weekend a few hundred miles away and 500 years in the past. We walked across the yard and arrived at a glowing smile. We asked her to join us. We spent the evening talking about life, the beauty of people, and travel. We only broke conversation to chuckle about kitten who kept losing its play partners, before starting back up again. We commiserated over Trump, but mostly left it out of our minds. We all agreed we travel not for monuments, but the richness of people, that no matter where you go people are mostly good, with same the problems and successes (I heard an up-and-coming Indian musician say recently, laughing about her problems, "first world problems..."), and that total strangers will bend over backwards to help you for no reason.
Afterwards, our new friend texted us this:
"This may seem trite but it’s how I felt about Brexit and our previous government. ‘Things have just got a lot more difficult . Here’s what I think. I had no control over what just happened. None. But I do have control over how I will react to it . And I am not going to give up on the beautiful and the good , the grip on my dreams just got tighter .’"
My point? Go travel: internationally if you have the privilege, or locally say "hi" to someone across a cafe table. "Are you on holiday?" was our Brit's go to line. Its okay to escape into the goodness of humanity for a little while. I'm convinced almost every human needs only the smallest excuse of a shared interest to make a connection that improves your day in 10 minutes.
Also, pick a small cause. Something you care about. Make a few phone calls a week, or write a few letters, lick envelopes. Something so practical once you start its no effort to keep up. Be practical but be active.
posted by rubatan at 8:23 PM on November 6, 2024 [7 favorites]
[a narrative: click to read]
I spent the moment AP called Pennsylvania at an after wedding party of a new friend (the Indians too asked me how it was going "it affects us too"). The mother of the groom (who I'd never met before) gave my partner and I a wedding gift too from getting married in May. They lovingly pushed us into all the "newly wed" poses and photos in shared congratulations. I finally made friends with a spider expert I knew might be there and he invited us to his organic farm and to come teach a few classes at a local school. We laughed a lot together.We returned to work, then went to an old colonial hotel for a drink. Across the yard was an English retiree we'd met the previous weekend a few hundred miles away and 500 years in the past. We walked across the yard and arrived at a glowing smile. We asked her to join us. We spent the evening talking about life, the beauty of people, and travel. We only broke conversation to chuckle about kitten who kept losing its play partners, before starting back up again. We commiserated over Trump, but mostly left it out of our minds. We all agreed we travel not for monuments, but the richness of people, that no matter where you go people are mostly good, with same the problems and successes (I heard an up-and-coming Indian musician say recently, laughing about her problems, "first world problems..."), and that total strangers will bend over backwards to help you for no reason.
Afterwards, our new friend texted us this:
"This may seem trite but it’s how I felt about Brexit and our previous government. ‘Things have just got a lot more difficult . Here’s what I think. I had no control over what just happened. None. But I do have control over how I will react to it . And I am not going to give up on the beautiful and the good , the grip on my dreams just got tighter .’"
My point? Go travel: internationally if you have the privilege, or locally say "hi" to someone across a cafe table. "Are you on holiday?" was our Brit's go to line. Its okay to escape into the goodness of humanity for a little while. I'm convinced almost every human needs only the smallest excuse of a shared interest to make a connection that improves your day in 10 minutes.
Also, pick a small cause. Something you care about. Make a few phone calls a week, or write a few letters, lick envelopes. Something so practical once you start its no effort to keep up. Be practical but be active.
posted by rubatan at 8:23 PM on November 6, 2024 [7 favorites]
Best answer: I console myself by thinking the worst of this may be over in two years. Trump was so obviously unwell during his campaign - we were practically watching him melt before our eyes - that I have a hunch he won't last a year in power. Either he'll croak on a golden toilet or he'll become totally incoherent. Then Vance will have to take over, and Vance doesn't have Trump's sinister powers. There will never be a JD Vance cult, and with the Big Boss out of the picture the Republicans will probably be in disarray. The next two years will be an absolute shit show, and then it's entirely possible the Republicans will get clobbered in the mid-terms. I don't doubt that Trump plans to install himself as dictator for life, but time is not on his side.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 12:51 AM on November 7, 2024 [10 favorites]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 12:51 AM on November 7, 2024 [10 favorites]
Best answer: Something I am finding is that Mr. Rogers was right - look for the helpers, because there are ALWAYS there. Last night the women's health clinic where I work saw an uptick in people reaching out to volunteer.
And the next step is: when you can, BE a helper. It doesn't have to be huge either - donate 25 bucks somewhere, join a letter campaign. It could even be as simple as: when you clean out your closet, take stuff to a shelter for homeless trans youth instead of to Goodwill. That will also make YOU feel more empowered that "well, I helped at least a LITTLE, dammit." (It should go without saying that social media "slacktivism" probably isn't QUITE enough here.)
Speaking of cleaning - I find THAT to be incredibly grounding. It doesn't fix the larger world, but it sets YOU up and settles you, so you can then take a deep breath and head back out there. It also keeps you from spiraling - I have been pitching an apartment clean to my roommate as a weekend project since he admitted he was struggling with the news.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:59 AM on November 7, 2024 [9 favorites]
And the next step is: when you can, BE a helper. It doesn't have to be huge either - donate 25 bucks somewhere, join a letter campaign. It could even be as simple as: when you clean out your closet, take stuff to a shelter for homeless trans youth instead of to Goodwill. That will also make YOU feel more empowered that "well, I helped at least a LITTLE, dammit." (It should go without saying that social media "slacktivism" probably isn't QUITE enough here.)
Speaking of cleaning - I find THAT to be incredibly grounding. It doesn't fix the larger world, but it sets YOU up and settles you, so you can then take a deep breath and head back out there. It also keeps you from spiraling - I have been pitching an apartment clean to my roommate as a weekend project since he admitted he was struggling with the news.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:59 AM on November 7, 2024 [9 favorites]
Best answer: I've been repeating to myself "I am not going to let them steal my joy." My brain works well with a challenge like that and it's been helping me turn my attention away from the panic and anger. This doesn't mean I am going to stick my head in the sand, just that I will be strategic with the attention I allow them to have.
posted by mcduff at 10:05 AM on November 7, 2024 [5 favorites]
posted by mcduff at 10:05 AM on November 7, 2024 [5 favorites]
Best answer: suggestions for books to read
the climate action handbook [g] has many activities. i looked through a few books while thinking about your question & that one seemed most action-oriented. there may be other similar ones which interest you more. for anyone thinking about thriving in any kind of future, i think it will be good to learn as much as possible about the environment
also, i am currently reading indigenous continent [g] a newer book recommended a bit ago on another thread (thanks metafilter!) older books i have appreciated reading include the works of W E B Dubois
thank you for this question! you got me out of my own thoughts :) i’ll add to the chorus of people recommending community-building/ maintaining. i have made a point to be sure to check in with people around me, asking how/ what they’re doing. from my local community, some good advice for daily practice: think about & vocalize two things that bring you happiness
i hope this helps!
posted by HearHere at 9:36 PM on November 7, 2024 [3 favorites]
the climate action handbook [g] has many activities. i looked through a few books while thinking about your question & that one seemed most action-oriented. there may be other similar ones which interest you more. for anyone thinking about thriving in any kind of future, i think it will be good to learn as much as possible about the environment
also, i am currently reading indigenous continent [g] a newer book recommended a bit ago on another thread (thanks metafilter!) older books i have appreciated reading include the works of W E B Dubois
thank you for this question! you got me out of my own thoughts :) i’ll add to the chorus of people recommending community-building/ maintaining. i have made a point to be sure to check in with people around me, asking how/ what they’re doing. from my local community, some good advice for daily practice: think about & vocalize two things that bring you happiness
i hope this helps!
posted by HearHere at 9:36 PM on November 7, 2024 [3 favorites]
Best answer: As I have mentioned elsewhere, I found this a pick me up.
posted by y2karl at 1:23 PM on November 8, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by y2karl at 1:23 PM on November 8, 2024 [1 favorite]
The article is repeatedly asking, hypothetically, "what would you do?" about myriad imaginative, dystopian scenarios. My mind is great at imagining and worrying. If you are looking for ~answers~ of what to do, that's not the article for you.
There wasn't much hypothetical about the article—every scenario linked to a news story about a real-world example from recent years.
The point of an article like this is the imagining and the repeated prompting to think about what you would do. It's getting you to visualise a scenario in advance, when you have time to think about it, and to rehearse in your mind what you would most want to do that would be true to your values—which increases the likelihood that you'll instinctively do it when the time comes.
It's like first aid training. You practice the techniques over and over not just to learn what they are, but so that in an emergency you're the one springing into action rather than standing on the sidelines while your brain freezes up. You won't have time to think it all through in that emergency.
Bad actors take advantage of the fact that most people freeze when faced with an outrageous or previously unencountered situation. It gives them precious time to achieve their aims before you have a chance to react, which moves the situation along such that your considered reaction is no longer the right one and you now have to reconsider, delaying your reaction again... and so on.
We should all try to learn about what happens in authoritarian societies and ask ourselves what we would do. It isn't wallowing in dystopia, and it isn't pointless worry. It's making a plan, even for what might seem tiny, trivial moments. They add up.
posted by rory at 3:48 AM on November 9, 2024 [1 favorite]
There wasn't much hypothetical about the article—every scenario linked to a news story about a real-world example from recent years.
The point of an article like this is the imagining and the repeated prompting to think about what you would do. It's getting you to visualise a scenario in advance, when you have time to think about it, and to rehearse in your mind what you would most want to do that would be true to your values—which increases the likelihood that you'll instinctively do it when the time comes.
It's like first aid training. You practice the techniques over and over not just to learn what they are, but so that in an emergency you're the one springing into action rather than standing on the sidelines while your brain freezes up. You won't have time to think it all through in that emergency.
Bad actors take advantage of the fact that most people freeze when faced with an outrageous or previously unencountered situation. It gives them precious time to achieve their aims before you have a chance to react, which moves the situation along such that your considered reaction is no longer the right one and you now have to reconsider, delaying your reaction again... and so on.
We should all try to learn about what happens in authoritarian societies and ask ourselves what we would do. It isn't wallowing in dystopia, and it isn't pointless worry. It's making a plan, even for what might seem tiny, trivial moments. They add up.
posted by rory at 3:48 AM on November 9, 2024 [1 favorite]
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posted by Mouse Army at 2:09 AM on November 6, 2024 [36 favorites]