My Kingdom For A Ticket, or Explaining Why I Fail At Tickets

August 6, 2024 2:23 PM

I committed to organizing (and massively hyped up) a family trip to Renfaire. I screwed up ticket buying and am now one+ short and they are sold out. What do I do? Details abound.

My error: I didn’t realize these things sell out and thought gate sales would exist: they don’t. Also, while resale tickets exist, they are trying to prevent scalping, so there is only some sort of lottery system that chooses randomly among 100+ people all trying to get the same ticket I am. I have no idea if I will be able to secure another ticket in time.

This is the first big family trip where the whole blended family, including adult kids and adult kid partner, would be going somewhere together. I have been hyping people up for a month. The date was carefully chosen among six people to make sure everyone could attend.

I also don’t know how to explain being one ticket short without it appearing as though I didn’t consider one person a part of the family - instead of it being an ADHD/online ticket buying fuckup.

What is the correct thing to do? Normally I would just take the hit and say “well then I won’t go”, making the numbers even, but if I don’t go, my partner won’t want to go, meaning the whole trip collapses. What is the correct thing to say? How would you want this handled if it were you? Blended family thoughts especially welcome.

posted by corb to Human Relations (21 answers total)

i would just open it up for discussion thusly: "dear family: unfortunately i have blundered and we are one ticket short for the renfaire. i am trying desperately to get one more ticket, but this may not be possible. if this fails, how do we want to handle this? since this is my fault, i am completely fine if everyone else decides to go without me. let's discuss!"

but i may have a different dynamic than your family does. stuff happens. it's not the end of the world, and you may get lucky.
posted by koroshiya at 2:30 PM on August 6 [17 favorites]

How *long* til the renfaire?

I think I know a similar type of lottery ticket system.

What you do is you send an email to everyone and ask them to register for the lottery, because you do need everyone to register if it's genuinely a lottery. Explanation, hi everyone, the ticketing system is weird, but it's cool you just need one more ticket, which *will* open up at last minute (because with continuing waves of covid etc, yes people will bail out).

Operate on the assumption that tickets will open up in the week before the Renfaire, because they will, and at least one of you will get an email about that extra ticket.
posted by Elysum at 2:31 PM on August 6 [16 favorites]

I bet there's someone in the group who's less than hyped about going to Renfaire, but is going along because they're part of the group. Find something they would enjoy a lot more than Renfaire and offer it to them in return for their ticket.
posted by zadcat at 2:31 PM on August 6 [10 favorites]

I also don’t know how to explain being one ticket short without it appearing as though I didn’t consider one person a part of the family

Well what I would do is say "my dumb ass forgot to count myself, can you believe it."

And I would also be trying to get on the old fashioned phone phone to talk to a human ren faire person, because humans can make all kinds of things happen that can't be done online.
posted by phunniemee at 2:32 PM on August 6 [59 favorites]

(With the above email, someone will probably contact you and say if they're willing to not go if there's no ticket, which precludes having to pick someone.
But if a few more of you register, as requested, then you'll pick up a ticket.)
posted by Elysum at 2:34 PM on August 6

Have you considered posting a heartwarming appeal for assistance on the facebook group for the fair or other online places?
posted by bq at 2:40 PM on August 6 [5 favorites]

a family trip to Renfaire

Is it being held in some interesting place where, for example, you and your SO could go do something not-Renfaire on your own during the day?

Is it a multi-day thing where turns could be taken? Or can turns be taken during the day?

(Sorry if these are stupid questions, I don't know much about Renfaire)

if I don’t go, my partner won’t want to go, meaning the whole trip collapses

Would it be difficult for them to participate, or would they do it if they knew how important it was to you to let the families do this thing together?
posted by trig at 2:50 PM on August 6 [2 favorites]

if I don’t go, my partner won’t want to go

Not really clear on if this is in the sense of a trip with airline tickets, lodging, etc. or if you are looking at a day trip to the renfaire.

If you forgot a ticket for yourself, there's no reason to leave yourself, or whoever else is willing to "make the sacrifice" (or maybe just doesn't like crowds etc) out of the rest of the trip. If you are all traveling together there's going to be more going on than just this one thing, people don't have to left out of the whole thing.
posted by yohko at 3:09 PM on August 6 [1 favorite]

I can almost guarantee someone, somewhere in your city has a ticket they won't be using. Plans change, people break up before going to events together, employers say you have to work when you thought you would have the day off. Someone has an available ticket. Ask friends, coworkers, social media to see if you can find one that's available.
posted by Meldanthral at 3:13 PM on August 6 [2 favorites]

"Hey everyone! I messed up! I got the last Renfaire tickets and we are one short! I am hoping to track down another ticket. So, can everyone please sign up for this lottery for a chance to get a ticket? Thank you! Also, if we can't get another ticket, what would you like to do? Since I'm the bozo, I'll offer to skip it, but I am hoping we have some creative solutions. I really hope we can make this work because I am super excited!"

And yeah, there might be one person in your group who is secretly looking for an excuse not to go.
posted by bluedaisy at 3:55 PM on August 6 [5 favorites]

Response by poster: How *long* til the renfaire?

About a week and a half; tickets have been selling on the platform at a rate of about one a day.

Would it be difficult for them to participate, or would they do it if they knew how important it was to you to let the families do this thing together?

So the difficulty is that I am the Renfaire nerd, not my partner and was the persuasion piece that convinced them to go in the first place: they could potentially be persuaded to physically go, but it would 1) be a hard sell and 2) might actually suck the joy from everyone else.

Not really clear on if this is in the sense of a trip with airline tickets, lodging, etc. or if you are looking at a day trip to the renfaire.

This is a day trip to the renfaire, but it involves about 2-3 hours of driving to go so cannot be repeated and is the only chance we will get to go this summer.

there might be one person in your group who is secretly looking for an excuse not to go.

The group consists of: myself and partner, 2 renfaire nerd kids that are super stoked to go, and one adult kid and their partner who mostly seem into being with the family and seeing the partner attending renfaire for the first time. I think adult kid and their longterm partner are least into going, but as a couple, would also be extremely uninterested in being split/separated, and I don't know how to suggest it without it seeming like 'longterm partner, I don't take you seriously'.

(much appreciation for the 'I didn't count myself' suggestion, btw)
posted by corb at 4:17 PM on August 6

It sounds like your partner is the one least excited about going. Could you broach it with them that they could bow out if they're really not into it, maybe in exchange for a day spent doing something they'd really like to do instead (spa day, hangout with another friend, something they wanna do that you wouldn't be into?) Obviously explain the mistake and say you were not intentionally leaving them or anyone else out, but would that be a resolution that everyone might be happiest with?
posted by Teadog at 4:28 PM on August 6 [4 favorites]

I don't think you need to lie, and I think you are going to be a LOT less stressed once you communicate your foible to your people. It's okay. This stuff happens.
posted by bluedaisy at 5:01 PM on August 6 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I am really feeling like 'chicken, wheat, fox' on this, but: part of the enjoyment for the renfaire kids is specifically my partner going and like getting in costume and participating, which I think he would not feel comfortable doing if I wasn't there. So that's another complication.

I have reached out to people who are associated with communities to see if they can reach out to their people and see if there are extra tickets though, so there's that hope at least.
posted by corb at 5:29 PM on August 6 [2 favorites]

I understand that you’re really excited about renfaire and have put some effort into making this a fun family trip and also, what are your honest odds that if you get a ticket everyone goes and has an okay or better time? Like, pause and consider each person’s needs and temperament. Your description is making it sound like you are the only one who unconditionally wants to go. It sounds like a good time to tell at least your partner what’s up and figure out if you actually have extra tickets because someone in the group who doesn’t want to go is going to cancel last minute / the trip will fall apart regardless.

Sorry to be a party pooper, but this is sounding like a lot of dependencies for a fun family bonding trip. And anyone who hates it has no way to bail early without spoiling your trip.
posted by momus_window at 5:42 PM on August 6 [3 favorites]

Someone might also be sick or injured. I think, by not telling your family what is up, you are letting your anxiety escalate. "I hyped this whole thing so I now I have to solve it!" is a tough place to be. Friend, are you catastrophizing? You keep trying to walk down all these various paths.

If I had a friend who was super stressed about a potential mistake, I'd be bummed to know they didn't just bring the problem to the group.
posted by bluedaisy at 6:03 PM on August 6 [1 favorite]

And I would also be trying to get on the old fashioned phone phone to talk to a human ren faire person, because humans can make all kinds of things happen that can't be done online.

2nd this. I'm positive if you call and explain the situation, said human will gladly help to the best of their capacity.
posted by dubious_dude at 6:55 PM on August 6 [1 favorite]

Or you stand outside the entrance, with a cardboard sign with "I need a miracle" written on it, while holding up one finger...

I once drove from seattle down to portland, with a "I need a ticket" sign on my back window. Someone flagged me on the highway and I got to attend my last dead show...

And Box of Rain was the encore...

Good luck!
posted by Windopaene at 8:47 PM on August 6 [7 favorites]

I don't think it's likely that people will interpret it as 'not considering someone part of the family'. I was present when my dad bought one less ticket than we actually needed and had to get back in line, and all I thought was something about him getting older. (Not entirely charitable, I guess, but no hard feelings.)
posted by demi-octopus at 11:00 PM on August 6

Response by poster: Hey all, thanks for talking me down off the ledge. I told my partner last night, we are both signed up for lottery and worst comes to worst he’s going to dress up in Renfaire costume and drive us there and still find something else to do in town.
posted by corb at 9:12 AM on August 7 [12 favorites]

Sometimes a person can get in and pay based on sympathy. Try the lottery option, but a human plea for understanding is sometimes effective if that fails.
posted by theora55 at 7:55 PM on August 7 [1 favorite]