What do you give the freshman who has everything?

June 19, 2024 5:55 AM

As our son gets older, he asks for less and less and gets more difficult to buy presents for. He turns 19 soon and in six weeks he will start college in San Francisco. We are stumped for birthday ideas.

He enjoys home recording of music and owns several guitars but won's be able to take them all with him to the dorm. He is into thrift stores and indie rock.

posted by mds35 to Shopping (24 answers total)

San Francisco? Give that kid money!
posted by obfuscation at 6:00 AM on June 19 [18 favorites]

Map of thrift stores in San Francisco plus some gift certificates to them (if they sell them), or cash? Could give him an excuse to explore the city and some support for buying nice-to-haves for the dorm room.
posted by eirias at 6:01 AM on June 19 [1 favorite]

I’ve come across some cool music-related gadgets and wearables from Soundbrenner.
posted by staggernation at 6:07 AM on June 19

Amoeba Records has a San Francisco store. And I'm probably picking fights by saying this, but Moby Grape's eponymous debut album might be the quintessential distillation of the San Francisco sound coming into the late 60s, and quite likely an album he's yet to discover.
posted by GamblingBlues at 6:12 AM on June 19 [2 favorites]

A micro-amp for his guitar?
posted by 1970s Antihero at 6:28 AM on June 19 [1 favorite]

Does he have a really good protective travel guitar case? He's probably not going to be solely a "home" musician in the dorms.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:12 AM on June 19 [4 favorites]

Give experiences. Pay for a trip, or a fancy dinner with his friends.

Although honestly everyone appreciates cash, especially at that age.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:20 AM on June 19 [3 favorites]

tickets to things in the city, to get him out of
his dorm and exploring!
posted by wenestvedt at 7:21 AM on June 19 [1 favorite]

A well stocked small tool bag was a very useful addition to my college experience and gave me a bunch of agency around repair of small goods. Consider:
- folding pullsaw
- wiha micro screwdriver set
- fiskars hand crank drill
- vice grips
- adjustable wrench
- etc
posted by andorphin at 7:34 AM on June 19 [5 favorites]

Do you know what his recording set-up is? Give him a gift card to a music store so he can get whatever he might need (monitor headphones, mic… sound libraries are expensive, he might want that, that’s just a credit card thing).
posted by cotton dress sock at 7:49 AM on June 19

Something that gets him out of the dorm and into the world each weekend:

- A gift card/certificate to use at a local, independent bike shop/workshop/collective to get either bike equipment (panniers? a trailer?) for an existing bike, or indeed a new bike; managing a bike in a dorm setting in a city can be a big commitment, though, and bikes are frequent targets for theft at university campuses; you’d want to check this with him first, or perhaps save it for next year when he knows his travel patterns better — the San Francisco Bike Coalition site might be a good place to start

- An $80 annual America the Beautiful pass to federal lands — this will pay off quite quickly if he travels to, say, Muir Woods just north of the city and, further afield, Yosemite and Redwood National Parks with friends, as their entire car will receive free admission

- An annual California State Parks pass; official store here; pass prices vary but the (just about) all-inclusive “California Explorer” pass with the high-demand southern California beaches is $195, while the “Golden Poppy” pass without that access is $125.

- Paper topographical/nature-focused maps for San Francisco/the Bay Area/California; both the California atlas from Delorme Publishing and the one from Benchmark Publishing are around $30; an alternative (cheaper, lighter, smaller) California recreation map from Benchmark is around $8
posted by mdonley at 8:00 AM on June 19 [3 favorites]

Part of the transition to adulthood is being able to buy the stuff you want on your own; for this reason many people of the age of your son develop mixed feelings about birthday presents, since "presents are for kids" and they're no longer a kid. If your son is telling you he doesn't particularly want presents, believe him!
posted by heatherlogan at 8:05 AM on June 19 [3 favorites]

I was this son and oh god please stop buying presents.
posted by doomsey at 8:10 AM on June 19 [5 favorites]

I am the mom to this kid and wife to mds35. Your answers are all the best and we really appreciate the input.
posted by peeps! at 8:46 AM on June 19 [5 favorites]

A multitool is a useful thing to own. Mine get swiped or lost so I buy cheap ones. Topo map of his new area is a nice idea. Mostly, tell him you want to celebrate his birthday, ask him if there's anything at all he's enjoy as a gift, or would he really rather have cash?
posted by theora55 at 8:48 AM on June 19 [5 favorites]

What about loading up (or setting up) a Lyft or Uber account for getting around? I imagine that would be super useful to have an available fund to pull from, and it would feel like a bit of a treat not having to worry about those expenses for a bit.
posted by LKWorking at 10:22 AM on June 19 [4 favorites]

A large gift card to Target or Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s or whatever multi purpose store is close to his SF campus/housing. It’s nice to get snacks or school stuff or whatever basic shit you need. Maybe gift card to the Great American or The Fillmore, assuming he likes some of the bigger touring acts. These are important historic venues with all ages shows that attract national tours for higher profile rock bands, but will include big indie artists.
posted by vunder at 11:38 AM on June 19 [4 favorites]

Nthing the suggestion to go with money or gift cards. My mother always gave up and switched to "gift card plus small token something" as the default gift for all nieces and nephews once they hit their teens, and I've followed suit; the small token something still gives them something to unwrap, and the cash or gift card gives them some freedom of choice. Hell, my own aunt has been doing the same with gifts for ME each Christmas (invariably it will be a modest box from a chocolatier local to her, with a $20 bill tucked inside).

This hits the sweet spot between "you have the fun of unwrapping something" and "you have the flexibility to get something you actually want instead of getting stuck with something".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:44 PM on June 19 [3 favorites]

A person who doesn't have a Costco card can still shop there with a gift card. They dont even have to pay their entire bill with it!

So you could give him three $20 cards, which would let him go shopping three times (with friends) -- which would have been awesome when I was in school.
posted by wenestvedt at 2:49 PM on June 19

Best answer: I think a nice compact tool kit is a great gift for a kid going off to college. I gave one to each of my kids, and they seriously rolled their eyes at me, and both have told me since that they have been happy to have it. Additionally, I would just give them a variety of gift card so they can buy stuff they for their first months away from home.
posted by momochan at 3:38 PM on June 19 [2 favorites]

Snoop in his Spotify or whatnot and buy him tickets to an upcoming concert in the San Francisco area (that link should be Indie & Alt music in the San Francisco area from August 1st on) .
posted by urbanlenny at 9:34 AM on June 20

If he's moving to SF during the first week of August, you could get him tickets for Outside Lands, which is Aug 9-11. However, I'm not sure I'd want to go to an all-day music festival my first weekend of college.
posted by vunder at 10:25 AM on June 20

One thing I've started doing for my 25-year-old is giving him a link to something I think he might want, and enough money to cover it, but tell him he can use the money for whatever he wants. I feel like putting in some thought and researching a good product helps show I care, but he's not forced to appreciate it 😆
posted by metasarah at 2:24 PM on June 20 [1 favorite]

In college I didn't want too much in the way of physical gifts. Especially not anything big or expensive. I didn't have space in my tiny dorm room, and I didn't want to worry about keeping track of stuff.

I would have liked a decent multitool, for putting my loft together. There's a kind I buy off Amazon, available from various brands at lots of price points, that comes with a hammer, tiny hatchet and other useful items for hiking and camping.

I sometimes give a little Basket of Useful Stuff to college kids. That one is simple - get an organizer basket at Dollar Tree, then go down the various personal care and cleaning aisles and throw in whatever is useful - Band-Aids, itch cream, wet wipes, ice pack, sanitizing wipes, acetaminophen, pink bismuth, cough syrup, etc. (I remember getting sick in my dorm and having no medicine, it was kind of awful.)

My parents gave me a decent set of luggage when I went away to school, which was much appreciated.

But mostly gift cards. Being able to get random stuff you need when you're in school is so helpful.
posted by champers at 2:28 AM on June 21 [1 favorite]