Some tips for adopting a more androgynous/masculine of center style?
March 1, 2024 1:39 PM Subscribe
I'm a young-ish queer nonbinary AFAB person who recently started dressing in a less feminine fashion (no dresses, no purses, no super form-fitting tops) and have found it incredibly freeing and wonderful. I am looking for resources or potential retailers that might have clothing items that fit my new style--specifically looking for nice slacks, button-downs in fun prints or bright colors and shoes.
I am very petite (5'1' and about 100 pounds), so men's clothes rarely fits me and most boys' clothes I've found is either really childish looking or doesn't have the sense of fun or whimsy that I'd like to incorporate in my style. I have a few colorful button-downs from Wildfang (this is my absolute favorite shirt), so interested in similar. If there are other websites or subreddits that might be a better place to post this, would be interested too! I know about r/lesbianfashionadvice
I am very petite (5'1' and about 100 pounds), so men's clothes rarely fits me and most boys' clothes I've found is either really childish looking or doesn't have the sense of fun or whimsy that I'd like to incorporate in my style. I have a few colorful button-downs from Wildfang (this is my absolute favorite shirt), so interested in similar. If there are other websites or subreddits that might be a better place to post this, would be interested too! I know about r/lesbianfashionadvice
My husband asked for stuff from bothandapparel.com. He’s trans and struggles to find clothes to fit his short, round body. both& had his sizes and styles. Alas, I ran out of Xmas money before I got to that part of his list, but I plan to order something for him in the near future. Good luck and congrats on finding some freedom and wonder!
posted by malthusan at 2:21 PM on March 1 [4 favorites]
posted by malthusan at 2:21 PM on March 1 [4 favorites]
Heya, I'm a queer woman who dresses pretty androgynously. I really, really like Uniqlo for androgynous clothing, especially slacks and basic tops. I have several pairs of nice slacks I've gotten there that fit me beautifully.
They have "men's" and "women's" sections, but a lot of their women's clothing is pretty androgynous yet still available in sizes that fit AFAB bodies (and crucially, pants which fit a typical AFAB waist and hip). For items where the exact fit is less essential I sometimes shop the men's section as well.
posted by mekily at 2:30 PM on March 1 [8 favorites]
They have "men's" and "women's" sections, but a lot of their women's clothing is pretty androgynous yet still available in sizes that fit AFAB bodies (and crucially, pants which fit a typical AFAB waist and hip). For items where the exact fit is less essential I sometimes shop the men's section as well.
posted by mekily at 2:30 PM on March 1 [8 favorites]
Get a tailor!
Establishing a relationship with a tailor is one of those things that seems bananas expensive, but given the quality of the work and the longevity of the pieces made, it's not so bad (and more ethical than lots of clothing options). It's not perfect for everything, but it's a good relationship to cultivate.
They can do things like, alter pieces you like, but do not fit super well to fit quite well (they should be able to coach you on what too look out for that can be altered to fit you better). They can also, duplicate items that you have that may not be in production any longer....orrrr my personal favorite, finding a fast-fashion item that fits just perfectly, and turning that into a pattern to be made into an actual quality garment, with quality fabrics.
I had a couple garments 'cloned' in the past, after the first (because time to make the pattern) they didn't cost much more than your favorite shirt.
Vintage stores will often have a tailor or two on contract, or at least know of a few folks who are doing good work. They are a pretty good place to find someone local to you.
posted by furnace.heart at 2:32 PM on March 1 [7 favorites]
Establishing a relationship with a tailor is one of those things that seems bananas expensive, but given the quality of the work and the longevity of the pieces made, it's not so bad (and more ethical than lots of clothing options). It's not perfect for everything, but it's a good relationship to cultivate.
They can do things like, alter pieces you like, but do not fit super well to fit quite well (they should be able to coach you on what too look out for that can be altered to fit you better). They can also, duplicate items that you have that may not be in production any longer....orrrr my personal favorite, finding a fast-fashion item that fits just perfectly, and turning that into a pattern to be made into an actual quality garment, with quality fabrics.
I had a couple garments 'cloned' in the past, after the first (because time to make the pattern) they didn't cost much more than your favorite shirt.
Vintage stores will often have a tailor or two on contract, or at least know of a few folks who are doing good work. They are a pretty good place to find someone local to you.
posted by furnace.heart at 2:32 PM on March 1 [7 favorites]
Try r/NonBinary maybe or ask about other subreddits there too.
posted by lookoutbelow at 3:06 PM on March 1 [1 favorite]
posted by lookoutbelow at 3:06 PM on March 1 [1 favorite]
Big Bud is explicitly unisex and has a lot of bright colors. I love their work pants for basically all occasions (hiking! work conferences! parties!).
posted by quadrilaterals at 3:14 PM on March 1 [2 favorites]
posted by quadrilaterals at 3:14 PM on March 1 [2 favorites]
I highly recommend Beefcake Swimwear if you will want a bathing suit. I love mine; it is really well made and it's their mission to dress all sorts of folks, but especially nonbinary people, in awesome, comfortable swimsuits.
posted by crush at 3:18 PM on March 1 [4 favorites]
posted by crush at 3:18 PM on March 1 [4 favorites]
I've been on a related path. I'm a middle aged cis woman but newly coming into my queerness and dressing more butch or at least trying to dress more aligned with what feels good, which turns out to be less conventionally feminine. My body sounds quite different than yours (I'm taller and heavier), but here are a few things that have been working for me:
-A chunky, men's belt for my pants. My favorite is one I bought on sale at the men's section of a Banana Republic outlet.
-Boots with more masculine styling. I got a few pairs on consignment around town. I also dug out of the closet some loafers I bought a few years ago, with menswear styling. Loafers are in style for women now, so you might be able to find some in smaller (women's) sizes at regular shoe places without needing to hit the boy's section (I'm guessing your feet are too small for men's shoes?).
-A trip to Goodwill looking for clothes that match this new aesthetic. This is a great way to try out some new looks. I looked in the men's and women's sections. I bought a handful of items (button up shirts, more masculine sweaters) that I've been able to try out and see how they work in my wardrobe. For some of these items, I'm not even sure if they are men's or women's sizing but I tried them all on and they work. (I would have tried pants too, but the dressing rooms are closed at my local Goodwill so that's a tougher situation than tops I can try on over a tshirt.) A tailor will be your friend here, and hemming pants might be enough to get you started. You could even do a temporary hem with hem tape if you don't know how to sew, if you find some pants that fit but are too long.
-Wearing some of my existing clothing a bit differently. I have pierced ears and like wearing jewelry, but I've been choosing my smaller, not dangly earrings and a necklace that's not quite so delicate. I've been wearing some of my collared shirts under a men's sweater vest or men's sweater.
-Exploring social media for masc creators. This has been hit or miss, but there are some nonbinary and masc/butch folks out there with great looks, and it's helped to see these looks on bodies more like mine.
A specific store:
I'm currently lusting after the suits at Kirrin Finch. They have some colorful shirts too.
Also, based on something I picked up at Goodwill, I think that Lands End no iron shirts might work too.
posted by woolsocks at 4:15 PM on March 1 [1 favorite]
-A chunky, men's belt for my pants. My favorite is one I bought on sale at the men's section of a Banana Republic outlet.
-Boots with more masculine styling. I got a few pairs on consignment around town. I also dug out of the closet some loafers I bought a few years ago, with menswear styling. Loafers are in style for women now, so you might be able to find some in smaller (women's) sizes at regular shoe places without needing to hit the boy's section (I'm guessing your feet are too small for men's shoes?).
-A trip to Goodwill looking for clothes that match this new aesthetic. This is a great way to try out some new looks. I looked in the men's and women's sections. I bought a handful of items (button up shirts, more masculine sweaters) that I've been able to try out and see how they work in my wardrobe. For some of these items, I'm not even sure if they are men's or women's sizing but I tried them all on and they work. (I would have tried pants too, but the dressing rooms are closed at my local Goodwill so that's a tougher situation than tops I can try on over a tshirt.) A tailor will be your friend here, and hemming pants might be enough to get you started. You could even do a temporary hem with hem tape if you don't know how to sew, if you find some pants that fit but are too long.
-Wearing some of my existing clothing a bit differently. I have pierced ears and like wearing jewelry, but I've been choosing my smaller, not dangly earrings and a necklace that's not quite so delicate. I've been wearing some of my collared shirts under a men's sweater vest or men's sweater.
-Exploring social media for masc creators. This has been hit or miss, but there are some nonbinary and masc/butch folks out there with great looks, and it's helped to see these looks on bodies more like mine.
A specific store:
I'm currently lusting after the suits at Kirrin Finch. They have some colorful shirts too.
Also, based on something I picked up at Goodwill, I think that Lands End no iron shirts might work too.
posted by woolsocks at 4:15 PM on March 1 [1 favorite]
I'm 5'1 but weigh more than you ( I'm a 36inch waist). For Chinos Amazon has some men's pants that have inseam length down to 28 and also small waist sizes to 28 inches. They may still be too baggy on you. But they are 30 dollars and may be worth trying.
I find with my size that I tend to buy men's clothes in medium that will shrink quite a bit in the wash. H&M men's tees do this well, and their smalls are pretty small. I got some stuff from primmark that worked adequately too. Buckle tees do this as well.
posted by AlexiaSky at 5:07 PM on March 1
I find with my size that I tend to buy men's clothes in medium that will shrink quite a bit in the wash. H&M men's tees do this well, and their smalls are pretty small. I got some stuff from primmark that worked adequately too. Buckle tees do this as well.
posted by AlexiaSky at 5:07 PM on March 1
Best answer: A couple of options that market themselves as gender neutral:
Peau de Loup has some great options for fun prints, including this one that features snowboarding raccoons.
If you're into Morning Witch's vaguely goth/botanical style, I also love the shirts I've gotten from them.
posted by Jeanne at 6:19 PM on March 1 [3 favorites]
Peau de Loup has some great options for fun prints, including this one that features snowboarding raccoons.
If you're into Morning Witch's vaguely goth/botanical style, I also love the shirts I've gotten from them.
posted by Jeanne at 6:19 PM on March 1 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Hello! I’m older than you and a couple sizes up (women’s size 6 shirts, often), butI have that EXACT Wildfang botanical print shirt in XS and it is also my favorite shirt! Also Instagram’s constantly serving me up nonbinary fashion ads for AFAB people so I feel qualified to weigh in on this question.
I buy a decent amount of stuff from Prana in size small, their XS womens might fit you and has some bright colored options for basics that are relatively agender if you pick through them carefully. Similarly, Pact (though for both of these the marketing is still pretty gender binary).
Have had some good luck with Uniqlo,in both mens and women, and also purchasing men’s joggers with defined ankle-length inseams.
I’ll occasionally buy a boys XL button down from Old Navy or something if the aesthetic is just right, but it’s high signal to noise. So is thrifting, although I’ve gotten some good pieces by measuring my favorite items of clothing and spending literally hours on ThreadUp finding things that match my aesthetic in the right dimensions.
I haven’t gotten Peau de Loop stuff yet but I’ve eyed them seriously. Good luck!
posted by deludingmyself at 7:35 PM on March 1 [1 favorite]
I buy a decent amount of stuff from Prana in size small, their XS womens might fit you and has some bright colored options for basics that are relatively agender if you pick through them carefully. Similarly, Pact (though for both of these the marketing is still pretty gender binary).
Have had some good luck with Uniqlo,in both mens and women, and also purchasing men’s joggers with defined ankle-length inseams.
I’ll occasionally buy a boys XL button down from Old Navy or something if the aesthetic is just right, but it’s high signal to noise. So is thrifting, although I’ve gotten some good pieces by measuring my favorite items of clothing and spending literally hours on ThreadUp finding things that match my aesthetic in the right dimensions.
I haven’t gotten Peau de Loop stuff yet but I’ve eyed them seriously. Good luck!
posted by deludingmyself at 7:35 PM on March 1 [1 favorite]
Would aloha shirts scratch your whimsy need? Because many aloha shirt makers do the same prints for adults and kids. Here's Kahala's lineup.
posted by zippy at 7:50 PM on March 1 [1 favorite]
posted by zippy at 7:50 PM on March 1 [1 favorite]
> I have a few colorful button-downs from Wildfang (this is my absolute favorite shirt), so interested in similar.
Maybe https://www.patagonia.ca/shop/mens/tops/button-down
I poked at REI's XS mens short sleeve button-downs, but Patagonia's own site seems to have more offerings.
https://www.rei.com/c/mens-button-up-shirts?ir=category%3Amens-button-up-shirts&r=c%3Bsize%3AXS
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:02 AM on March 2 [1 favorite]
Maybe https://www.patagonia.ca/shop/mens/tops/button-down
I poked at REI's XS mens short sleeve button-downs, but Patagonia's own site seems to have more offerings.
https://www.rei.com/c/mens-button-up-shirts?ir=category%3Amens-button-up-shirts&r=c%3Bsize%3AXS
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:02 AM on March 2 [1 favorite]
If you are open to kids' stuff, it could be worth looking at Primary. I have this rainbow plaid shirt and fellow adults are perpetually disappointed it doesn't come in larger.
posted by teremala at 5:36 AM on March 2 [1 favorite]
posted by teremala at 5:36 AM on March 2 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Although they do carry some more explicitly femme items, I have a feeling you might like Nooworks. They have awesome coveralls, button downs, and pants that are modeled by folks of different genders on their site. You can shop by print, and they have a ton of fun ones to choose from.
posted by little mouth at 9:07 AM on March 2 [2 favorites]
posted by little mouth at 9:07 AM on March 2 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you so much to everyone who's answered this question so far! All the answers have been so helpful. I think the suggestions that have suited me most have been Peau de Loup, Morningwitch (the prints are amazing and I love the embroidery!), Nooworks and Yevu but these suggestions are all beautiful
posted by lizard2590 at 9:14 AM on March 2
posted by lizard2590 at 9:14 AM on March 2
My previous answer to a somewhat related question!
posted by ASF Tod und Schwerkraft at 11:06 AM on March 2 [1 favorite]
posted by ASF Tod und Schwerkraft at 11:06 AM on March 2 [1 favorite]
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They are expensive and ship from Au$tralia, but if you find a promo code or buy on sale I believe the price tag is suitable.
posted by phunniemee at 2:01 PM on March 1 [2 favorites]