Small items going missing
January 23, 2024 7:18 AM Subscribe
Are my housecleaners stealing things?
I have a housecleaning service that comes to my house once a month to dust, mop, clean the toilets, and so on. They've been coming for maybe two years now, and I'm generally content with their work. The woman who runs the service I've only met once, which was the first time she came to clean with two others. From then on, she has sent a team of two or three women for each session but doesn't come herself.
I was working from home when I first hired the service, and I got to know some of the cleaners by face and polite smile. There seem to be some regular cleaners and some people who rotate through. None of them speak English, and I can't communicate with them. They seem kind and professional. These days, I work at an office, so I leave a hidden key for them to let themselves in each month.
I've been noticing some things going missing. It's never anything very valuable, more like random household and kitchen items. For example, I can't find:
But the coffee mug is weird. I had bought it from a local coffee shop that was going out of business. It has the shop's logo on it, a logo that happened to be designed by a friend. A few days later, my son broke it. I'd really wanted it, so I quickly went back and bought another. It was not long after a cleaning session that I realized the new one was now missing.
The cutting board is strange, as well. That happened earlier in my employ of the cleaning service, and I figured I might have just misplaced it, and it would turn up. But my kitchen isn't that big. It would be hard for me to misplace a cutting board for a year or two. It has never turned up. It was a good cutting board.
So, the question is, should I say something to the head of the cleaning service? And if so, what? (FWIW, we communicate by text.) I don't want to get anyone in trouble unnecessarily. I can't prove that any of her workers took anything. I'm not even sure that they did.
At the same time, I feel uncertain.
I have a housecleaning service that comes to my house once a month to dust, mop, clean the toilets, and so on. They've been coming for maybe two years now, and I'm generally content with their work. The woman who runs the service I've only met once, which was the first time she came to clean with two others. From then on, she has sent a team of two or three women for each session but doesn't come herself.
I was working from home when I first hired the service, and I got to know some of the cleaners by face and polite smile. There seem to be some regular cleaners and some people who rotate through. None of them speak English, and I can't communicate with them. They seem kind and professional. These days, I work at an office, so I leave a hidden key for them to let themselves in each month.
I've been noticing some things going missing. It's never anything very valuable, more like random household and kitchen items. For example, I can't find:
- a coffee mug
- a cutting board
- a whisk
- some liquid dish soap I kept in the bathroom
- a kitchen gadget for coring strawberries
- a washcloth I always kept in the shower
But the coffee mug is weird. I had bought it from a local coffee shop that was going out of business. It has the shop's logo on it, a logo that happened to be designed by a friend. A few days later, my son broke it. I'd really wanted it, so I quickly went back and bought another. It was not long after a cleaning session that I realized the new one was now missing.
The cutting board is strange, as well. That happened earlier in my employ of the cleaning service, and I figured I might have just misplaced it, and it would turn up. But my kitchen isn't that big. It would be hard for me to misplace a cutting board for a year or two. It has never turned up. It was a good cutting board.
So, the question is, should I say something to the head of the cleaning service? And if so, what? (FWIW, we communicate by text.) I don't want to get anyone in trouble unnecessarily. I can't prove that any of her workers took anything. I'm not even sure that they did.
At the same time, I feel uncertain.
whenever anybody helps me with anything, it's a cost of doing business; it's funny you mentioned whisks because whether it's family/friends or professionals coming to help, half of my kitchen implements disappear until I stumble upon them weeks later.
For cutting boards, I have a drawer they belong in, but people "helping" want to put them under my sink.
posted by adekllny at 7:37 AM on January 23 [10 favorites]
For cutting boards, I have a drawer they belong in, but people "helping" want to put them under my sink.
posted by adekllny at 7:37 AM on January 23 [10 favorites]
Also, you mention your son - I was once a child myself, and wonder if he could have mistakenly broken the second mug and not wanted to tell you, or if he could have for some arcane young person reason taken the whisk (or some other item) for a project or to a friend's and forgotten it or lost it.
I think it would be reasonable to call or text the owner if something is definitely gone next time and just ask where it got put, but you'd want to be sure it was definitely gone.
I've lost a weird assortment of kitchen things over the years, several (I think) because they accidentally got gathered in with the trash and thrown out. You would think that one would not, eg, accidentally throw out a rather nice and not that small paring knife, but one did. And then there were a couple of things that got lent, or packed up in error by a visiting friend, etc.
posted by Frowner at 7:37 AM on January 23 [9 favorites]
I think it would be reasonable to call or text the owner if something is definitely gone next time and just ask where it got put, but you'd want to be sure it was definitely gone.
I've lost a weird assortment of kitchen things over the years, several (I think) because they accidentally got gathered in with the trash and thrown out. You would think that one would not, eg, accidentally throw out a rather nice and not that small paring knife, but one did. And then there were a couple of things that got lent, or packed up in error by a visiting friend, etc.
posted by Frowner at 7:37 AM on January 23 [9 favorites]
Best answer: The washcloth and the soap probably got mixed up with the cleaners' cleaning products - I have the reverse problem, I occasionally acquire random cloths and cleaning products that my cleaners leave behind. And yeah, some of it is probably breakage.
I doubt it's *stealing* but it may be a level of carelessness you aren't willing to put up with.
posted by mskyle at 7:41 AM on January 23 [10 favorites]
I doubt it's *stealing* but it may be a level of carelessness you aren't willing to put up with.
posted by mskyle at 7:41 AM on January 23 [10 favorites]
It's very common for objects to be put "away" in unfamiliar places. I lost our giant colander for several weeks after our amazing cleaner of many years had emptied the dishwasher. I knew she didn't steal it.
It's unlikely that anything malicious is happening... and not only because the risks of being accused of theft is too high to steal a mug or a washcloth.
posted by nkknkk at 7:45 AM on January 23 [14 favorites]
It's unlikely that anything malicious is happening... and not only because the risks of being accused of theft is too high to steal a mug or a washcloth.
posted by nkknkk at 7:45 AM on January 23 [14 favorites]
I can't prove or know for certain that any of the maids took these things. I may not use them often enough that I typically don't immediately notice they're gone. Sometimes, the maids empty the dishwasher and put things away in weird places. Some things, like the dish soap, maybe got innocently mixed up in their supplies. I could have washed the washcloth and put it somewhere weird instead of back in the shower. Other things might just have gone missing. It happens.
I can't prove that any of her workers took anything. I'm not even sure that they did.
So what's the issue then? Why despite all the evidence to the contrary are you still entertaining the idea that the cleaning people might be stealing these random and essentially worthless objects?
Are you just uncomfortable with the cleaners being in the house?
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:51 AM on January 23 [19 favorites]
I can't prove that any of her workers took anything. I'm not even sure that they did.
So what's the issue then? Why despite all the evidence to the contrary are you still entertaining the idea that the cleaning people might be stealing these random and essentially worthless objects?
Are you just uncomfortable with the cleaners being in the house?
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:51 AM on January 23 [19 favorites]
When something goes missing, I'd imagine your first step would be to ask (in an informational, not blameful way) _anyone_ who might have useful information (e.g. other family members) "hey, any idea where X might've ended up?" That feels like a reasonable approach to extend here as well: "Hey, I can't for the life of me find my cutting board; it's wood, shaped like a cat... does that ring a bell, might it have gotten put away somewhere weird?" But I wouldn't jump to (either in your head or _certainly_ in your communications) "did you steal my cutting board?" If it was _just there two days ago_ and then they cleaned and now you can't find it, can't hurt to ask if they have any idea, but I'd accept "/shrug" as a valid answer.
I feel like things go mysteriously missing in life often enough - they get put away in the wrong place, or they get swept up into the trash just due to proximity to things that are _meant_ to go into the trash, or "oh didn't I mention, I broke that the other day and forgot to tell you". Those all happen on a regular, low-level basis even without outside parties from our household involved _at all_; it's just how it goes. Sometimes, someone knows what happened and they just haven't told you about it for whatever reason; equally often, something happened that no one particularly was aware of, and couldn't tell you if they tried. I'd just chalk it up to "hope it turns up some day" and move on.
posted by twigatwig at 7:51 AM on January 23 [7 favorites]
I feel like things go mysteriously missing in life often enough - they get put away in the wrong place, or they get swept up into the trash just due to proximity to things that are _meant_ to go into the trash, or "oh didn't I mention, I broke that the other day and forgot to tell you". Those all happen on a regular, low-level basis even without outside parties from our household involved _at all_; it's just how it goes. Sometimes, someone knows what happened and they just haven't told you about it for whatever reason; equally often, something happened that no one particularly was aware of, and couldn't tell you if they tried. I'd just chalk it up to "hope it turns up some day" and move on.
posted by twigatwig at 7:51 AM on January 23 [7 favorites]
They should tell you if they break something, but they should also be comfortable telling you. I would mention it to the manager/owner, and explain that 1) you won't freak out if something breaks, but 2) you need to know if something breaks so you don't waste time looking for it and know to replace it.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:51 AM on January 23 [8 favorites]
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:51 AM on January 23 [8 favorites]
One of the costs of doing business with cleaning people is that they can't know exactly how you want things, and will put things where they think they should go. You can try to communicate that you'd like some things a certain way, but for example my kitchen scissors always end up in a drawer I wouldn't have put them in, if they're out on the morning my cleaning service guy comes.
posted by Alterscape at 7:54 AM on January 23
posted by Alterscape at 7:54 AM on January 23
It sounds like possibly part of the problem is that none of the ladies speak English so you can't really ask them very well where anything might have wandered off to.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:17 AM on January 23 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:17 AM on January 23 [1 favorite]
I can't answer the question you asked, but I would suggest finding a housecleaner who can come regularly rather than a service that sends lots of different people. If that's not an option for you, I would contact the head of the service and say "I can't find my x, can you ask the cleaner where they put it?"
posted by wheatlets at 8:37 AM on January 23 [3 favorites]
posted by wheatlets at 8:37 AM on January 23 [3 favorites]
I think it generally unlikely* that housekeepers are risking their jobs in order to steal low-value or no-value household goods. Better explanations have been offered above: misplacement, accidental commingling with their materials, accidental breakage, etc. If you do a search, as well as checking in with your son, etc., and can't find any of these things, something like twigatwig or Mr.Know-it-some's responses are what I would recommend.
* Thieves exist, but you aren't talking about a broken Rolex oddly missing from its drawer, or your least-favorite lipstick (dusty; back of vanity) that cost $75 vanishing.
posted by cupcakeninja at 9:05 AM on January 23 [3 favorites]
* Thieves exist, but you aren't talking about a broken Rolex oddly missing from its drawer, or your least-favorite lipstick (dusty; back of vanity) that cost $75 vanishing.
posted by cupcakeninja at 9:05 AM on January 23 [3 favorites]
I'd guess the coffee mug got broken, and rather than fessing up, was removed for disposal. A washcloth could have been used to clean, put in a bucket and taken with other cleaning supplies. i know this is unnerving, but the stakes are very low.
Please tip these workers in cash and verify that their pay and benefits are fair.
posted by theora55 at 9:14 AM on January 23 [4 favorites]
Please tip these workers in cash and verify that their pay and benefits are fair.
posted by theora55 at 9:14 AM on January 23 [4 favorites]
You are not the only one who defaults to thinking "theft!" every time something goes missing.
I hate losing stuff above everything but I lose stuff all the time. I aallwwaayyss default to "somebody stole it!" whenever I can't find something instantly. I mean always, with a quickness that seems atavistic. This is despite the fact that nobody comes in the place, anymore. I lost my beloved cleaning person years ago when she retired, and I live alone with my boyfriend. Over and over again I accuse my boyfriend of purloining kitchen stuff, despite the fact that it almost never turns out to be him and despite the fact that all my life I've had a tendency to put things in wildly unexpected places. (I mean, to be fair, so does he, but he doesn't usually do this with kitchen stuff. The one thing he does is take is "manly" tools. There is NEVER a screwdriver anywhere reasonable, and this is all him. I'm going to get piles of those stupid flowery lady tools; I bet he won't try and put those in his secret stash.)
Once we were on a family vacation and my elderly aunt, who was beginning to fail a bit and probably shouldn't have been driving, lost the keys to her Prius somewhere in the beach house. The family searched for hours and couldn't find them. Presently my aunt began asking whether "Harry" had perhaps mistakenly put her keys in his pocket. "Harry" is not my boyfriend's name. So now whenever anything's missing because I put it in the toilet tank or whatever deranged place, I start to ask about it and my boyfriend invokes Harry and I then shut my mouth and keep looking 'til I find where I stashed it.
My boyfriend hates coffee and, from my perspective, anything with any discernible flavor whatsoever. Our palates are worlds apart. A friend of mine gave me a package of "Dandy," which hilariously-named product is a fake coffee made with dandelion root. I kindof like it for when I'm hopped up already on caffeine from drinking coffee all day but want something hot and coffee-adjacent for an afternoon pick-me-up. My boyfriend, obviously, has never taken even a sip of Dandy. So one time I couldn't find the stuff and the kettle was about to boil and as usual I shot in half a second from relatively placid to about to start throwing things and started my usual toddler slamming of cupboard doors and muttering "goddammit, where's the the Dandy!" And my long-suffering boyfriend from the other room goes, "Wheerrre did Harrrry put the Daaaaaandy?" So now I can mutter that under my breath while I search for whatever the hell it is I've hidden from myself this time. My boyfriend is a treasure above rubies.
So all that is to say, don't feel bad about asking "where did Harry put the Dandy?" inside your mind; you can't help the atrocious nonsense your limbic system comes up with. Don't put those thoughts into audible words, and overtip your maid service.
posted by Don Pepino at 10:02 AM on January 23 [28 favorites]
I hate losing stuff above everything but I lose stuff all the time. I aallwwaayyss default to "somebody stole it!" whenever I can't find something instantly. I mean always, with a quickness that seems atavistic. This is despite the fact that nobody comes in the place, anymore. I lost my beloved cleaning person years ago when she retired, and I live alone with my boyfriend. Over and over again I accuse my boyfriend of purloining kitchen stuff, despite the fact that it almost never turns out to be him and despite the fact that all my life I've had a tendency to put things in wildly unexpected places. (I mean, to be fair, so does he, but he doesn't usually do this with kitchen stuff. The one thing he does is take is "manly" tools. There is NEVER a screwdriver anywhere reasonable, and this is all him. I'm going to get piles of those stupid flowery lady tools; I bet he won't try and put those in his secret stash.)
Once we were on a family vacation and my elderly aunt, who was beginning to fail a bit and probably shouldn't have been driving, lost the keys to her Prius somewhere in the beach house. The family searched for hours and couldn't find them. Presently my aunt began asking whether "Harry" had perhaps mistakenly put her keys in his pocket. "Harry" is not my boyfriend's name. So now whenever anything's missing because I put it in the toilet tank or whatever deranged place, I start to ask about it and my boyfriend invokes Harry and I then shut my mouth and keep looking 'til I find where I stashed it.
My boyfriend hates coffee and, from my perspective, anything with any discernible flavor whatsoever. Our palates are worlds apart. A friend of mine gave me a package of "Dandy," which hilariously-named product is a fake coffee made with dandelion root. I kindof like it for when I'm hopped up already on caffeine from drinking coffee all day but want something hot and coffee-adjacent for an afternoon pick-me-up. My boyfriend, obviously, has never taken even a sip of Dandy. So one time I couldn't find the stuff and the kettle was about to boil and as usual I shot in half a second from relatively placid to about to start throwing things and started my usual toddler slamming of cupboard doors and muttering "goddammit, where's the the Dandy!" And my long-suffering boyfriend from the other room goes, "Wheerrre did Harrrry put the Daaaaaandy?" So now I can mutter that under my breath while I search for whatever the hell it is I've hidden from myself this time. My boyfriend is a treasure above rubies.
So all that is to say, don't feel bad about asking "where did Harry put the Dandy?" inside your mind; you can't help the atrocious nonsense your limbic system comes up with. Don't put those thoughts into audible words, and overtip your maid service.
posted by Don Pepino at 10:02 AM on January 23 [28 favorites]
If your housecleaners did in fact destroy or make away with all the things you list over a two year period of monthly visits, they are very good housecleaners.
Housecleaning is a contact activity and things get broken, damaged, and misplaced all the time. And since they don’t speak English, they would have trouble telling you about anything that was damaged — and the woman who runs the service probably tells the cleaners not to bother you with issues because she’s worried about them setting up their own deals with you and cutting out the middle person, and also may choose cleaners without English for the same reason.
posted by jamjam at 10:54 AM on January 23 [7 favorites]
Housecleaning is a contact activity and things get broken, damaged, and misplaced all the time. And since they don’t speak English, they would have trouble telling you about anything that was damaged — and the woman who runs the service probably tells the cleaners not to bother you with issues because she’s worried about them setting up their own deals with you and cutting out the middle person, and also may choose cleaners without English for the same reason.
posted by jamjam at 10:54 AM on January 23 [7 favorites]
Our housecleaning service calls/texts if something significant is broken or damaged, partially because of language issues, but there are accidental switches (they leave a cleaning supply or a cloth) all the time. I assume switches happens the other way too and it's just a part of getting my house cleaned. Cleaners are professionals who do this work well enough to get paid, but they're also human and accidentally grab the wrong thing.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 11:05 AM on January 23 [3 favorites]
posted by gentlyepigrams at 11:05 AM on January 23 [3 favorites]
Take some breaths and ask yourself why you would jump to this conclusion. How would you handle this situation if a friend or your kid had been housesitting for you? What would you assume had happened, and what would you say or not say to them? You have the opportunity to assume good intentions and treat other people with the same dignity, respect, and care that you treat loved ones.
Remember that *you* as a client also have a reputation to uphold, and want the people you work with to have faith in *your* good intentions. Accusing someone of theft is serious fucking business, and should not be undertaken lightly.
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 11:33 AM on January 23 [5 favorites]
Remember that *you* as a client also have a reputation to uphold, and want the people you work with to have faith in *your* good intentions. Accusing someone of theft is serious fucking business, and should not be undertaken lightly.
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 11:33 AM on January 23 [5 favorites]
I'd tread really carefully. I am currently missing lots and lots of silverware, and I am pretty sure they're in my kids' rooms. Or maybe I moved them somewhere! I don't really see why cleaning folks would steal items of such low value. I have also had things go missing that I was sure were stolen and then found them in a ridiculous place I then remembered putting them. I would not pursue this except to announce to any household members that any mugs or other kitchen items should be returned without questions or consequences to the kitchen.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:26 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
posted by bluedaisy at 12:26 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
After what chives said:
What you may think of as simply asking the boss about whether there is a possibility the maids are stealing is likely to be taken very seriously and could result in someone being fired (or worse - you mention they’re not native English speakers, so there is a possibility that their legal right to remain in the country could be contingent on this employment.)
I retract the suggestion that you should ask the head of the cleaning service "I can't find my x, can you ask the cleaner where they put it?" and replace it with "Just hire one person who can come regularly so they won't misplace your things, and will tell you if they break."
posted by wheatlets at 12:54 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]
What you may think of as simply asking the boss about whether there is a possibility the maids are stealing is likely to be taken very seriously and could result in someone being fired (or worse - you mention they’re not native English speakers, so there is a possibility that their legal right to remain in the country could be contingent on this employment.)
I retract the suggestion that you should ask the head of the cleaning service "I can't find my x, can you ask the cleaner where they put it?" and replace it with "Just hire one person who can come regularly so they won't misplace your things, and will tell you if they break."
posted by wheatlets at 12:54 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]
I would leave a simple, cheery note for the cleaners the next time they come in quite clear (but still handwritten) English so they can use their smartphone to either photograph or transcribe the note and then translate it to their own language. Something like “Hi! I can’t find the (blue) cup from (name of coffee place). If you find it today, can you put it here? Thanks.”
This lets them know a few things:
- something has been lost
- you think they may have seen it
- you are not blaming them
- you see them as partners in managing your home
posted by mdonley at 2:29 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
This lets them know a few things:
- something has been lost
- you think they may have seen it
- you are not blaming them
- you see them as partners in managing your home
posted by mdonley at 2:29 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
I think it's vanishingly unlikely that a cleaner would risk her job to take your random kitchen item of no resale value. Please don't do anything to jeopardize these people's employment.
Some places worth looking:
- In the back of an upper cabinet (get up on a chair or ladder so you can really see)
- Up on top of the upper cabinets
- Fallen in behind drawers
- Under the kitchen sink
- Under the stove
- Completely empty the cabinet of pots/pans/baking dishes
- Fallen into the vertical gap beside stove or fridge
- Buried in a kitchen drawer, maybe under tea towels. Empty out all items from all drawers.
- In your son's room, maybe under the bed or tucked in a cabinet when quickly tidying
- Under the sofa
posted by nouvelle-personne at 2:31 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
Some places worth looking:
- In the back of an upper cabinet (get up on a chair or ladder so you can really see)
- Up on top of the upper cabinets
- Fallen in behind drawers
- Under the kitchen sink
- Under the stove
- Completely empty the cabinet of pots/pans/baking dishes
- Fallen into the vertical gap beside stove or fridge
- Buried in a kitchen drawer, maybe under tea towels. Empty out all items from all drawers.
- In your son's room, maybe under the bed or tucked in a cabinet when quickly tidying
- Under the sofa
posted by nouvelle-personne at 2:31 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
Agree, not worth talking to the head of the company.
1) Have a fresh pair of eyes look for your items. The mug might have pencils in it, the cutting board might be laid flat on top of the fridge/in the drawer beneath oven/hidden inside a baking pan, the gadget may have fallen behind a drawer.
2) Schedule the service on the weekend, when you're home, until you're comfortable again?
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:45 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
1) Have a fresh pair of eyes look for your items. The mug might have pencils in it, the cutting board might be laid flat on top of the fridge/in the drawer beneath oven/hidden inside a baking pan, the gadget may have fallen behind a drawer.
2) Schedule the service on the weekend, when you're home, until you're comfortable again?
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:45 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I worked as a housekeeper for quite a while! when I worked as part of a team for a company, people accused us of stealing CONSTANTLY. so, I'm here to say that even if you tell the boss it probably won't be taken very seriously, when people have cleaners they immediately think everything they can't find is stolen. Our boss rarely even mentioned it to us but we would get apologized to pretty regularly from clients for the accusation after they found it. people jump to "the cleaners stole it" first, so actually stealing would be a bit silly, as you're suspect #1.
most of the ladies I worked with didn't have sufficient spoken english yet for another career/position, each of our teams had one fluent English speaker so that clients could talk to us and other than that we didn't communicate much, but I would have laid down any amount of money on none of those ladies even thinking to steal anything, it's hard to find work when your English isn't good in Canada. not that it's impossible to hire a thief, but I worked with ten or twelve different ladies over a couple years and I would have been very shocked to hear of any of them taking that risk with their employment.
I vote for your whisk falling behind the oven, that's where mine is!
we used to clean a house where they threw their pocket change of loonies and toonies ($1 and $2 Canadian coins) into a huge vase on a side table - there must have been $2500 in change in there. if someone was gonna lose their job for stealing it would have been for that change vase, and nothing less! whenever people wonder if their cleaners are stealing I always think about it, that huge jar of abandoned money, probably 3 or so months of wages for us, sitting there, uncounted and unloved, being dutifully dusted but ignored.
posted by euphoria066 at 3:45 PM on January 23 [8 favorites]
most of the ladies I worked with didn't have sufficient spoken english yet for another career/position, each of our teams had one fluent English speaker so that clients could talk to us and other than that we didn't communicate much, but I would have laid down any amount of money on none of those ladies even thinking to steal anything, it's hard to find work when your English isn't good in Canada. not that it's impossible to hire a thief, but I worked with ten or twelve different ladies over a couple years and I would have been very shocked to hear of any of them taking that risk with their employment.
I vote for your whisk falling behind the oven, that's where mine is!
we used to clean a house where they threw their pocket change of loonies and toonies ($1 and $2 Canadian coins) into a huge vase on a side table - there must have been $2500 in change in there. if someone was gonna lose their job for stealing it would have been for that change vase, and nothing less! whenever people wonder if their cleaners are stealing I always think about it, that huge jar of abandoned money, probably 3 or so months of wages for us, sitting there, uncounted and unloved, being dutifully dusted but ignored.
posted by euphoria066 at 3:45 PM on January 23 [8 favorites]
What? No. I can assure you that these people have mugs, whisks, cutting board, and soap of their own at home.
posted by oneirodynia at 4:21 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]
posted by oneirodynia at 4:21 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]
Okay, there needs to be one counter-example here. My 90-something own-self-house-living legally-blind mother hired a woman from the same village to help keep the house clean. We kids started to field calls which included reports of missing stuff: tea-spoons, plates, gloves. Of course we victim-blamed her, not least because she was simultaneously experiencing Charles Bonnet visual hallucinations. Turned out Mum was right: it culminated when a favorite cardigan was replaced in the wardrobe with a ratty old thing from a down-market charity shop. Gaslighting doesn't only happen in films. 'Help' was talked to and sacked . . . but not reported to the police. Mum went with a contract-cleaner firm after that - super professional, kind and efficient youngsters; worth the extra money.
Me, I'd start recording data that might eventually be cross-referenced with the cleaning company's roster. Then again I prolly wouldn't because it's a lot of work.
oneirodynia: I can assure you that these people have mugs, whisks, cutting board, and soap of their own at home.
Maybe, maybe not, these events are clearly not about the utility or value of the missing items. What anonymous foreign contract house-cleaners don't have is surplus income to employ others, which for some of them could be wearing on their self-esteem. Sticking one to The Man aka making off with some small-small things may help counter that feeling.
Counter-counter example. At about the same time as the above saga, my daughter left home and country at nearly 18 and rented a room (shared kitchen) in someone's house. Owner regularly accused tenant of nicking stuff which regularly turned up at the back of drawers, under cushions, wherever.
posted by BobTheScientist at 1:07 AM on January 24
Me, I'd start recording data that might eventually be cross-referenced with the cleaning company's roster. Then again I prolly wouldn't because it's a lot of work.
oneirodynia: I can assure you that these people have mugs, whisks, cutting board, and soap of their own at home.
Maybe, maybe not, these events are clearly not about the utility or value of the missing items. What anonymous foreign contract house-cleaners don't have is surplus income to employ others, which for some of them could be wearing on their self-esteem. Sticking one to The Man aka making off with some small-small things may help counter that feeling.
Counter-counter example. At about the same time as the above saga, my daughter left home and country at nearly 18 and rented a room (shared kitchen) in someone's house. Owner regularly accused tenant of nicking stuff which regularly turned up at the back of drawers, under cushions, wherever.
posted by BobTheScientist at 1:07 AM on January 24
I am currently missing lots and lots of silverware, and I am pretty sure they're in my kids' rooms.
They are probably in the trash. At least, that's what we worked out has happened to our forks. My husband will put something in the trash without realising that there's still a fork tucked inside it. We will be buying new silverware.
To go back to the OP, I would do nothing unless you've lost something very recently, but the next time it happens just ask the person you text if they can find out from the cleaner where they put it away. Obviously don't do this for cleaning supplies of any kind, always put that down to a mixup.
posted by plonkee at 1:24 AM on January 24
They are probably in the trash. At least, that's what we worked out has happened to our forks. My husband will put something in the trash without realising that there's still a fork tucked inside it. We will be buying new silverware.
To go back to the OP, I would do nothing unless you've lost something very recently, but the next time it happens just ask the person you text if they can find out from the cleaner where they put it away. Obviously don't do this for cleaning supplies of any kind, always put that down to a mixup.
posted by plonkee at 1:24 AM on January 24
Investigation 101: look at people inside the house before you look at outside parties.
Sincerely,
Melted a plastic cutting board and hid the evidence when I was a kid and didn’t fess up until very recently (I’m middle aged)
posted by kapers at 3:46 PM on January 24 [2 favorites]
Sincerely,
Melted a plastic cutting board and hid the evidence when I was a kid and didn’t fess up until very recently (I’m middle aged)
posted by kapers at 3:46 PM on January 24 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks for the responses. Broadly speaking, the most common reason probably for people stealing things has to do with an item's monetary value, and the items I mentioned aren't all that valuable. Still, people still steal for all sorts of reasons. The wealthy kleptomaniac is a documented psychological type, after all.
That being said, the responses make me believe that the missing items are more likely due to carelessness than anything else. I think what I'll do is write a text to the head of cleaning service and tell her that sometimes I can't find things after a cleaning session. So, if her workers could leave things that don't have an obvious home on the counter, I'll put them away myself later.
posted by Leontine at 10:56 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
That being said, the responses make me believe that the missing items are more likely due to carelessness than anything else. I think what I'll do is write a text to the head of cleaning service and tell her that sometimes I can't find things after a cleaning session. So, if her workers could leave things that don't have an obvious home on the counter, I'll put them away myself later.
posted by Leontine at 10:56 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
« Older Open-source projects using NGS data? | Late September weather in the Alps between Munich... Newer »
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
posted by lunasol at 7:28 AM on January 23 [16 favorites]