I need to stay off my phone.

July 4, 2023 12:36 PM

Hi, for various difficult reasons, I need to stay off my phone for 3-4 days. I tend to check my phone often, almost compulsively to fill up time, and during work breaks. I also text a lot of people. I can't switch phone off as I can't miss work calls. Tips and tricks? I really need this. Thank you.
posted by Nieshka to Health & Fitness (23 answers total)

You need to have something else you can pick up compulsively to be near at hand instead. Books (probably of the pageturner variety, whatever that means to you) or magazines seem like the obvious substitute, but some kind of craft project might work too?
posted by eponym at 12:39 PM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

Can you keep it in the next room, in a bag, etc? If you're using Android and will be at your computer you could use the web interface to check your texts. (On an iPhone you could use Messages, if you have a Mac.)

Would also recommend deleting any apps you can that will distract you from those two kosher phone purposes. Delete social media, maybe even reset your passwords if possible. If you use regular SMS text messages you could turn off your cellular data.
posted by Polycarp at 12:52 PM on July 4, 2023

If you have an iPhone, especially if you also have airpods, you can likely take the calls on your computer; and keep your phone in a cash handling bag. Put a zip tie on the closure so you have to cut it to access the actual phone. (Or any bag or container with a zipper close enough to a handle or strap you can secure it to, and that won't block the signal.)
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:53 PM on July 4, 2023

You can buy lock boxes that still allow you to answer calls.
posted by iamsuper at 12:54 PM on July 4, 2023

Response by poster: I work at an office. Social media is anyway blocked there. But when I look away from work, I tend to look at my phone. So I need to not do that, somehow. Books, crafts, etc. may not work. But whatever the micro-break is, it needs to supply a dopamine hit/ feel relaxing so that my hands twitch less. Ugh cold turkey is the worst.
Android phone if that matters.
posted by Nieshka at 12:55 PM on July 4, 2023

Do you need to be also working at the same time? If so, what kind of activity does that entail?
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:59 PM on July 4, 2023

Get somebody else to set a temporary PIN that you don't know. Should still be able to answer calls from the lock screen.
posted by flabdablet at 1:03 PM on July 4, 2023

Response by poster: Last round of responding, promise.
Work is not on the phone, it's on laptop. I think I'm asking both how to stop myself from checking the phone, as well as how to take a break that does not involve a phone.
Thanks again.
posted by Nieshka at 1:08 PM on July 4, 2023

One very simple but stimulating break-time activity could be writing postcards: it focuses the mind, occupies your hands, has a distinct start and end point, is quite inexpensive and has the added benefits of keeping communication fresh and offering the recipient a physical reminder of your relationship.
posted by mdonley at 1:15 PM on July 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

Switch to taking your calls on the laptop, and leave the phone elsewhere.

RE what else to do with your time, that depends on your reasons for not wanting to use the phone. If it's to avoid certain types of communication, you can use a handheld game or a different phone without service to play games. But if you're trying to avoid screens entirely:

Take a walk
Eat snacks
Listen to a podcast
Meditate
Do yoga
Do quick high intensity exercises (jumping jacks, push-ups)
Draw
Clean/ do chores
Crossword puzzles
Sudoku/ other logic puzzles
Plan, either for real things (like what to pack for a hike you're taking next weekend) or fantasies (like the design of your dream house)
Pick a topic (say, colors) and count as many examples of it as you can
Shower
Do other things that feel good for your body
posted by metasarah at 1:50 PM on July 4, 2023 [4 favorites]

I bought a lifetime subscription to Freedom.to six or seven years ago and have definitely gotten my money's worth in the past year. It takes a little while to configure, but it's definitely worth checking out.
posted by knucklebones at 2:21 PM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Get a lockbox with a key. Lock your phone in it. This is to break the compulsive, unthinking, reaching for the phone.
Get a “how to draw” book and start working through it.
posted by CMcG at 3:09 PM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Putting my phone in grayscale (you can look up directions for your specific phone) and putting it in a ziplock baggie really helped. Also, turn off ALL notifications except calls. Don’t let your phone make any noises or vibrations for anything except phone calls.

Lego makes little dioramas that are satisfying to put together.
There’s a whole genre of content that is how to make various doodles (search zen tangle and neurographic for some easy engrossing things)
Origami and paper stars are a classic for this
A little sandbox
One of those magnetic sculpture things
Desk toys in general

Two jars, one full of pebbles and the other one empty. Move a pebble every time you want to check your phone and don’t. Marvel at your willpower! Enjoy the sound a pebble clinking into the jar! Assert your dominance over your phone.
posted by Bottlecap at 3:57 PM on July 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

If you _must_ take work calls: get a cheap prepaid phone - for example Tracfone or one of the Walmart models - and give that phone number to work, telling them your regular phone is in for repair. Then lock your regular phone away until you don't need to do this any more.
posted by TimHare at 5:29 PM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

I remain confused about how the work is on a computer, on which you can also take the calls, but the work isn't keeping your hands busy. Given how computers are operated....

Forgive the bluntness, but are you currently doing your job when you're not taking a call?

On breaks, leave the phone at your desk and go do something else in another room; unless there's an absolute reason you need it with you.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:53 PM on July 4, 2023

I installed screenzen which lets me open apps after a pause and blocks them after a certain number of opens. I've tried the super blocking apps but get frustrated when I actually needed to use my phone and deleted them. Screenzen feels way less judgemental and most of the time, I just go oh I don't need this actually. Willpower and self discipline, if I had them I would also have abs of steel, but I think acceptance is easier and working with yourself gently to minimize and redirect - the games really do help when I'm stressed! Ten minutes of Stardew Valley = not stabbing coworkers. Two hours of Stardew however, means missed deadlines.

I left besides obv. things like phone, whatsapp and calculator, Libby and my podcast app unblocked because I'm fine with reading a book on my phone for an hour. Seeing everything dimmed except for books and podcasts, it's a lot easier to just use them only and I end up saving my puzzle game (5 breaks of 5 min adds up to just 25 min a day) for when I really need those 5 min, because I know it will stop gently at the 5 min.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 7:33 PM on July 4, 2023

I like Focus Mode on my Android, but it depends on you having the willpower to not shut it off. Usually when I pick the phone up and notice the app icon I want to waste time on is greyed out, that's enough to motivate me to put the phone back down and get on with work.
posted by alby at 10:46 PM on July 4, 2023

I play solitaire with an analog pack of playing cards when I want to do shoveling mindless that doesn’t involve my phone.
posted by mskyle at 4:41 AM on July 5, 2023

Make the phone less interesting:

Turn off the wifi, move everything off the home screen except apps that don't interest you (apps you only use when you need them, like Google Authenticator, or your calendar), and turn off all notifications except for actual phone calls. Turn on the ringer and put the phone in a drawer or a bag - close enough to hand that you can get to it when it rings, but out of your actual line of sight.

When you need a quick break from work...

Do something with your hands:

See if there's a fidget toy that appeals to you. Learn a couple of string figures, and have a loop of string in your pocket to make them with. Learn a couple of origami models, and carry a little pad of paper around. Learn the alphabet in sign language, and just step through it, or spell your name.

Or do something with your brain:

Get a page-a-day calendar of some sort for your desk, and read the next page (yes, the date will be wrong; doesn't matter). Write out some tiny vocab flashcards and learn some words in a foreign language. Print off some logic puzzles and slip one into the back of your notebook, assuming you have a notebook on your desk.

Or do something with your body:

Get up and go for a short walk - to the kitchen, to another floor of the building, or out of the building altogether, if that's an option. Learn some stretches you can do at your desk.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 7:25 AM on July 5, 2023

Smart phones are deeply addictive and a lot of really smart people designed them to be that way. There's neurological reasons (dopamine hits) and social reasons (providing a sense of connection to others) and psychological reasons (habits get cultivated) and more.

I'm saying this to tell you it's not your fault. These devices have been designed to keep you engaged with them.

I know at least one very intelligent person who realized that he was simply not strong enough to overcome the conditioned response of checking his phone. He got rid of it and got a flip phone instead. He said it was better to be humble and realize the phone was more powerful than him.
posted by jasper411 at 8:56 AM on July 5, 2023

My approach:

- delete all apps that have an infinite scroll on them (eg twitter, facebook etc)
- this still leaves the web browser, so you need to remove that too. On iOS you can't delete safari, so go to Content & Privacy Restrictions > Allowed Apps and uncheck safari.
- your brain will know that it can unwind all of the above if it wants, so I use an app (https://streaksapp.com/) to log how many days my phone has been social media/browser free. If I do crack, I reset my streak to zero.

The above works pretty well for me.
posted by greytape at 2:46 PM on July 5, 2023

Could you buy a $30 dumbphone from a discount store, and forward your work number to that for the relevant time period? That way, you can leave your smartphone at home (or give it to someone you trust with instructions not to give it back to you until the time period is over) and only answer calls on the un-fun, non-dopaminergic dumbphone.
posted by decathecting at 5:33 PM on July 10, 2023

I need to avoid checking my phone gratuitously due to wrist issues, but still rely on it for things like maps and calendar. One thing that helps me not check it is to recognize exactly how agonizing it’s going to be.

Telling myself that I wasn’t going to do it no matter how bad it felt and acknowledging that responses like squirming, pacing, vocalizing, or having to sit on or slap my hands were reasonable as it was a serious addiction helped. It’s like I had to give myself permission to be dramatic, otherwise I’d be embarrassed and check my phone to avoid those outcomes.
posted by wheatlets at 4:40 PM on July 11, 2023