Specific gift ideas for increasing happiness and connection.

May 26, 2023 11:14 AM

You or a friend are...alive in 2023, and you decide that a small gift might give a little nudge of happiness to that person. Although the best gifts are usually not objects, sometime you _do_ want to get/give/send a small something. Gift giving is a love language, after all. What specific items would you gift, or want?

This is hard for me, because I, like a lot of people here, tend to think of "things" as not the best conveyors of human connection or happiness. Still, though, when you for some reason can't contribute time or a lot of focus, or if there's another reason that you can't really _know_ what to do for a person, sometimes a small physical gift is a go-to.

The only thing I can really think of is cards, food, and in some cases just straight up cash. But are there _things_ that are actually good for this?

If a greeting card or food is a go-to for you, could you be more specific? Type of food, for example?

posted by amtho to Grab Bag (33 answers total)

I hit up A LOT of thrift stores, and sometimes will find a tshirt/sweatshirt/small item that reminds me of someone and I think they would like -- it's about a $5 purchase or less, bring it home, wash/clean it, throw it in the mail. The few times I have done this it has gone over extremely well, and if it doesn't, they can always just take it back to the thrift store but know that I was thinking of them.
posted by jabes at 11:19 AM on May 26, 2023

If they wear jewelry, that's always nice.
posted by tristeza at 11:19 AM on May 26, 2023

I like little tiny presents and I give little tiny presents. Some things I have or have given: tiny replica cat netsuke, hand-made glass marble about 1.5" in diameter, tiny handmade wooden spinning tops, various Hello Kitty toys, very small high quality flashlight, fancy pocket knife, tiny vase with special glazing technique, etc. Basically unless people definitely definitely hate all clutter of every kind, I get something very small and high quality that is fun to fidget with but that a person wouldn't buy for themselves and that will (hopefully) remind them that they are in my thoughts. I have some tiny gifts from friends that I've gotten over the years that are among my most treasured stuff.

A kaleidoscope is also a great gift. Or a tiny telescope, or tiny binoculars. (I use my tiny binoculars for looking out my bedroom window to see how my flowerbed is doing.)

I guess if I were getting something for someone without knowing that they really liked cat objects or something, and being confident that their vision was okay, I would get a tiny kaleidoscope. Virtually everyone I have ever met whose eyesight allows them likes to play with kaleidoscopes.
posted by Frowner at 11:30 AM on May 26, 2023

I am one of those gifting as love language people. I’ve only gotten flowers once and I’m always a little sad about it. I wish I got flowers from people all the time. Small bundles or little seasonal things. Showy rose bouquets are not desired, nor are houseplants that will then be an obligation I will not be able to handle. Flowers that look lovely in my rarely used collection of vases and go through stages of decay and then I can toss them in the compost, please.

Gifts of this nature I have given to notable success: small gift boxes from Zingerman’s, painted rocks from beaches I’ve been to on trips with the location month and year on the underside of the rock, tiny decorative boxes that I put little origami things inside (and then the boxes are likely used for a weed stash or similar), nintendo gift cards (the switch has a huge library of cute chill and cozy games), boxes of seasonal flavored frangos and bags of limited edition flavored kitkats, smaller lego kits (their 3 in 1 line is tremendous), decorative hair clips, pins, or combs, soft scarves or wraps in jewel tones, prisms to hang in the window and generate rainbows. Something fully consumable or small enough to put in a purse, that encourages a pleasurable sensation like yummy tastes, soft fabric, sparkles, spending time in play, or enjoying something that is only available for a certain time or made seasonally.
posted by Mizu at 11:31 AM on May 26, 2023

I love all these ideas! I do this kind of thing too.

Please, please tell me if there's a specific store or way of buying that you guys use. It seems that I find things like this at random when I'm not expecting them, but I have a feeling there are specific shops or kinds of shops where they're more likely found.
posted by amtho at 11:32 AM on May 26, 2023

I think it might be helpful to understand the "meaning" behind the gift giving as a love language. From what I understand, it's less about the accumulation of stuff and more about the thought behind the gifts. It's a tangible item that says "I was thinking about you," "This reminded me of you," "I remember that you liked these ____," etc.
posted by VirginiaPlain at 11:33 AM on May 26, 2023

VirginiaPlain -- I totally get that. Stuff isn't even the best gift, usually. However, this question is in fact about the objects themselves, not, for lack of a better word, strategy or individuation.
posted by amtho at 11:35 AM on May 26, 2023

Simple house plants are nice for this, especially in an office/more professional friendly setting.
posted by Sweetchrysanthemum at 11:50 AM on May 26, 2023

Something slighty pricier which may also depend on how crafty you're feeling, is to buy some relatively inexpensive white canvas shoes and do some Sharpie doodles. I'm about to do a pair for a friend's birthday, but it seems like this might be a fun idea for a gift. Smaller ideas: pretty tumbled rock you can use as a worry stone, fancy chocolate (for instance Vosges marshmallow caramels), cute tiny amiguri like these.
posted by Glinn at 12:06 PM on May 26, 2023

I love to receive a fun snack or a bouquet that is non toxic to my cats or some luxury bath nonsense I wouldn’t spend my own money on. Would mostly rather not receive non consumables, but I do have a few specific things I treasure that were gifts from friends, mostly some sort of small merch related to a shared fandom, or something made for me like a shawl or a pair of socks.

On the specific snack front, a friend who travels always brings me back some kind of candy bar or chips we don’t have at home and I love that. If I’m mailing something to a faraway friend, usually between Zingermans and Sugarfina I find something that suits.
posted by Stacey at 12:09 PM on May 26, 2023

I'm finding a lot of really cool and different tea / dish towels these days and I've been giving them out and receiving them! Some of them are so great I tack them up on the wall, others go into daily rotation. Sometimes they're so great I don't want to use them but I force myself to do it* and every time I pull them out from under the kitchen sink I'm reminded of the gifter and smile. Also they're not super expensive, so I don't feel guilty about them.

* I recently got some beautiful ones from my daughter and threw them in the washer to take the sizing off - with a hot pink cotton blanket that I dyed years ago and I could have sworn was done bleeding. Anyway they are pink now and while still beautiful, it removed any hesitation I had for using them every day.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:24 PM on May 26, 2023

Anyway they are pink now and while still beautiful, it removed any hesitation I had for using them every day.

Rit Color Remover should unpink them. The packaging says it removes dye stains from whites, but I've successfully used it on multicolor items I accidentally washed with something dark green.
posted by FencingGal at 12:34 PM on May 26, 2023

My go-to places for these types of gifts include museum stores and arts & crafts fairs. Yes, there are big pricey things, but there are often unique, small, gift-y items too.
posted by banjonaut at 12:52 PM on May 26, 2023

I agree with VirginiaPlain that it really depends on the person. Like, I hate the kitchen, so a cute spoon rest does nothing for me, but I am a sucker for a funky bookmark. I know plenty of people who are the opposite. So it's a hard question to answer generically.

However, Kikkerland Design might have a lot of what you want.
posted by gideonfrog at 12:58 PM on May 26, 2023

For people who love flowers, a small but thoughtful option could be home-made pressed flowers on a lovely piece of card stock as a picture or a bookmark (with fine rice paper or plastic film on top). You might also find vintage pressed flower cards at flea markets selling postcards or paper ephemera. Some of them are really lovely and extremely affordable - often a dollar or less. There are also all the Victorian flower meanings to explore, e.g. rosemary for remembrance.

This is an extremely thoughtful question and is inspiring me!
posted by citygirl at 1:20 PM on May 26, 2023

When I'm stuck for an idea, I give people Hanayama cast metal puzzles. They're really nicely made, not very expensive, and people seem to really appreciate getting them.
posted by pipeski at 1:28 PM on May 26, 2023

We're Not Really Strangers is a question card deck that helps you "deepen your existing relationships and create new ones." I like giving this to friends because it conveys that I want to keep getting to know them, and also offers them a way to create connections with other people, too, if I'm not in their life regularly.
posted by cocoagirl at 1:45 PM on May 26, 2023

I've been gifting the ceramic cats I've been making. They're turning out slight goofy because I'm learning how to use underglazes on pottery, which just increase their charm. Some of them are cross-eyed, others look slightly smooshed because I smeared underglaze, and others have turned out to be surprisingly charming.

They're small and handmade, which I think adds an extra dimension to things. I learned how to make them by watching videos by another ceramic artist. She does sell her cats occasionally in her online shop.
posted by astapasta24 at 2:36 PM on May 26, 2023

Some gifts I've given recently that went over very well: This stunning box of chocolates. Fresh miracle berries (you can also buy packets of them dried in pill form, but the fresh ones are more fun. These weird little ASMR head massagers. A pink oyster mushroom grow kit. A plant that grows from seed but emerges with the words "I love you" written on the leaves. This cute retro record player. Out-of-print books beloved in the giftee's childhood. A book featuring an artist whose show I had gone to see and imagined the giftee joining me to see, too.

There's so many groovy things in the world to delight people with.
posted by shadygrove at 2:57 PM on May 26, 2023

As a 54 year old male I’m going to have go with: beanie-baby sized stuffed animal.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:44 PM on May 26, 2023

I love getting funny socks and inexpensive pendant necklaces from friends. They always feel "lucky" to me and I wear them on special days that are related to the design of the item.

A scented candle can be nice - lighting it can feel like a hug.

A plant if they're into that.

A book.

A sweet treat.

Something thoughtful they need - like a 10 foot long phone charger cord, or cute earplugs. One time I bought my friend a large great wallet when hers was clearly too small for her messy receipt collection. My friend got me amazing slippers. A cute hot water bottle if they have pain. Pretty chopsticks if they like noodles.... etc.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 3:47 PM on May 26, 2023

cost plus world market has great gifty things
posted by St. Peepsburg at 4:20 PM on May 26, 2023

I have a bunch of kitchen implements that I've gotten from friends and loved ones, I think of them whenever I use them. There's the ladle from A, the spurtle from N, the garlic press from W, the can opener from another A.

It's great. They don't take up any extra space, and they give me this feeling of connection when I'm cooking. Highly recommended.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 5:59 PM on May 26, 2023

:Small dime-sized crystals in shapes: hearts, mushrooms, etc. (Etsy)
: larger crystal towers, spheres, in the person's favorite color or astrology sign color (google this) (tiktok, etsy)
: stickers with something that reminds you of your friend (etsy)
: pins with sayings, fun charms, etc. (Etsy)
: charms for crocs (etsy)
:keychains
:letterpress cards (etsy)
: handmade stationery (etsy)

: follow artists/makers in your area (find on IG or local markets and festivals, etc.)
posted by AnyUsernameWillDo at 8:07 PM on May 26, 2023

A few gifts are just right. But small gifts, a mug, a pen in a nice color, a pin, a shell, dishtowels, absolutely, are tokens that say Hello, I care, I think of you. Better to just do it than wait for the perfect item.

Many card shops have good small gifts, though I accidentally went in to a Hallmark store and it was bland and expensive.
posted by theora55 at 9:21 PM on May 26, 2023

dig through all their social media until you find some little obscure thing they mentioned wanting or liking

like i had a friend who was obviously going through a super bad time, struggling with suicidal ideation, etc. and she had recently made an offhand FB post about craving key lime pie

Instacart delivered a key lime pie to her house from an anonymous benefactor and she completely flipped out with joy over it

heh heh heh
posted by Jacqueline at 12:41 AM on May 27, 2023

In Europe, Flying Tiger is great for this kind of thing. Long multi-ended charging cables, storage stuff, yoga blocks and mats, little wooden toys, party things, colourful things (at the moment they have loads of Pride stuff but their stock changes frequently).
posted by altolinguistic at 2:55 AM on May 27, 2023

Stickers or magnets. Lots of fun stuff on redbubble
posted by AMyNameIs at 3:06 AM on May 27, 2023

If you’re looking for locations to purchase things, where they already shop or https://www.uncommongoods.com/
posted by raccoon409 at 5:21 AM on May 27, 2023

A framed picture if you have the right photo.

A really good version of something to replace an annoying kludge.
posted by SemiSalt at 5:38 AM on May 27, 2023

Thrift stores are the places I find this sort of stuff. I just got a cat mug for my coworker the other day for $0.88. She was tickled pink.
posted by kathrynm at 10:19 AM on May 27, 2023

I love giving gifts. Etsy is my absolute go-to for just about everything. I also frequent small shops in my area that have a more unique collection of potential gifts (e.g. Good Things, Patina).
posted by WaspEnterprises at 2:28 PM on May 27, 2023

Do memes/funny Internet videos/cute pictures count as "things" for your purposes?
posted by creatrixtiara at 5:27 PM on May 29, 2023