How do you cheer up when you're sad?
April 25, 2013 12:16 AM Subscribe
So I'm feeling miserable a lot lately. What do you do when you're feeling bad, to cheer yourself up? Restriction: Must be something I can do alone.
Early morning walks, alone. No ipod or other distractions; focus only on the feel of the air and the morning light and the movement of other creatures, including other people, starting their day.
posted by tavegyl at 12:31 AM on April 25, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by tavegyl at 12:31 AM on April 25, 2013 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Grumpy Cat. She's soooo grumpy and cute.
More seriously though, the last couple of days I've been really stressed out and procrastinating, and I noticed I felt better when I did something I needed to do. That was the source of my depression (well, some of it anyway.) It might be different for you. Is there something you've been avoiding because you're sad? You might try thinking of that, and then doing it. Accomplishing something can help to change your personal mindset. It does for me.
Also, conventional "happy" things don't always work, because depression is often not simply a matter of being "sad", so make sure to give a few different things a try. Depression has to be actively fought, in my experience. If one thing doesn't work, try another.
Best wishes.
posted by themanwho at 12:38 AM on April 25, 2013 [7 favorites]
More seriously though, the last couple of days I've been really stressed out and procrastinating, and I noticed I felt better when I did something I needed to do. That was the source of my depression (well, some of it anyway.) It might be different for you. Is there something you've been avoiding because you're sad? You might try thinking of that, and then doing it. Accomplishing something can help to change your personal mindset. It does for me.
Also, conventional "happy" things don't always work, because depression is often not simply a matter of being "sad", so make sure to give a few different things a try. Depression has to be actively fought, in my experience. If one thing doesn't work, try another.
Best wishes.
posted by themanwho at 12:38 AM on April 25, 2013 [7 favorites]
Best answer: A lot of mine are the same as lollusc's. Good, well-loved books. Cheerful music. Walk in the sunshine, or if no sun, a walk anyway (I don't usually feel like it, but always feel better afterwards). Shower with nice smelling body wash. Clean sheets, if the weather is cold, snuggling up under the doona. Breakfast in bed if I can manage it. Watch a favourite/cheerful movie or TV show. Favourite kind of tea. Low doses of chocolate and/or treat food. Petting and brushing the kitty, or looking at pictures/videos of cute kitties on the internet (you can substitute whatever animal you find cute; I am pretty sure there is youtube footage of it being cute. Even if it's an axolotl.) Learning new/interesting things. Setting a small, achievable goal and doing it. Deciding to be nice to myself. Rereading the following advice, which reminds me that I am not alone:
Letter to Georgiana Morpeth, 16 February 1820posted by Athanassiel at 1:22 AM on April 25, 2013 [179 favorites]
Dear Georgiana,
Nobody has suffered more from low spirits than I have—so I feel for you. Here are my prescriptions.
1st Live as well as you dare.
2nd Go into the shower-bath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold.
3rd Amusing books.
4th Short views of human life—not further than dinner or tea.
5th Be as busy as you can.
6th See as much as you can of those friends who respect and like you.
7th And of those acquaintances who amuse you.
8th Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of them freely—they are always worse for dignified concealment.
9th Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you.
10th Compare your lot with that of other people.
11th Don't expect too much from human life—a sorry business at the best.
12th Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy), music, serious novels, melancholy sentimental people, and every thing likely to excite feeling or emotion not ending in active benevolence.
13th Do good, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree.
14th Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue.
15th Make the room where you commonly sit, gay and pleasant.
16th Struggle by little and little against idleness.
17th Don't be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself, but do yourself justice.
18th Keep good blazing fires.
19th Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion.
Believe me, dear Georgiana, your devoted servant, Sydney Smith
From Auden WH, ed. Selected writings of Sydney Smith. London: Faber and Faber, 1967
You've already got some great suggestions here. For myself, if it's a sort of formless oppressive unproductive miserableness, I swear by the Arbitrary Quest, which I described here previously. The basic idea is to set yourself a goal, any goal but one that will get you out of the house, and go and achieve it. I find that calling it a Quest and approaching it that way helps get me in the right mood to benefit from it.
I hope you're feeling better more often soon.
posted by daisyk at 1:35 AM on April 25, 2013 [6 favorites]
I hope you're feeling better more often soon.
posted by daisyk at 1:35 AM on April 25, 2013 [6 favorites]
Make a pilgrimage. Pick somewhere that you have wanted to go which lies a few days walk away. Walk there. Your local list of long-distance walking routes could be a source of inspiration - or you could find an actual pilgrimage route.
posted by rongorongo at 1:44 AM on April 25, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by rongorongo at 1:44 AM on April 25, 2013 [3 favorites]
Like the Green Exercise suggestion, I go for nature walks, but while listening to podcasts about positive things.
Likewise, I'll chuck on my headphones and sit on a park bench, or whatver, and listen to a guided meditation with Binaural Beats inbedded in the audio.
My favorite lately is : Mindifi for your smart device, but there are heaps of apps out there - so try them all until you find one you like.
This method is GUARANTEED.
posted by jbenben at 1:50 AM on April 25, 2013
Likewise, I'll chuck on my headphones and sit on a park bench, or whatver, and listen to a guided meditation with Binaural Beats inbedded in the audio.
My favorite lately is : Mindifi for your smart device, but there are heaps of apps out there - so try them all until you find one you like.
This method is GUARANTEED.
posted by jbenben at 1:50 AM on April 25, 2013
I make sure my living area is in decent shape. Food available, clean clothes, clean dishes, just the normal stuff that can fall to the wayside if you're sad. That stuff falling to the wayside tends to just reinforce the funk for me, so I've learned that I must actively fight against it or I tend to get carried away by the sads.
Another thing I try to do is to get totally ready to leave the house every day, even if I don't plan on going anywhere. I put on a nice outfit, put my hair up, do all the leaving-house things. Then I give myself permission to just stay in. But...I often end up going out at that point, because why not?
I love the arbitrary quest, too! Just deciding to walk to the store and pick up a nice lunch. Or walk to the cafe and work on a project for an hour. Fill out some cards and walk them down to the post box. Just little things that help you build up the momentum you need to fight free of glumness.
posted by ZeroDivides at 2:00 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Another thing I try to do is to get totally ready to leave the house every day, even if I don't plan on going anywhere. I put on a nice outfit, put my hair up, do all the leaving-house things. Then I give myself permission to just stay in. But...I often end up going out at that point, because why not?
I love the arbitrary quest, too! Just deciding to walk to the store and pick up a nice lunch. Or walk to the cafe and work on a project for an hour. Fill out some cards and walk them down to the post box. Just little things that help you build up the momentum you need to fight free of glumness.
posted by ZeroDivides at 2:00 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: There are a lot of external things I like to do to cheer myself up: go for walks in the sunshine, listen to audiobooks, bake things, drink nice tea, play music, etc.
But honestly, what helps the most is to make a conscious effort to talk nicely to myself when I'm feeling blue, because I've realized I get into this spiral: I'm sad about something, so I start beating myself up about for being such a crummy, miserable person, and then I start telling myself stories about how nothing is ever going to go my way because I'm so rotten, which means I just end up feeling worse than before. All of the walks in the world won't help if you've got that sort of nasty narrative running constantly through your head. So now I try and catch myself and instead try to talk to myself like I'd talk to one of my best friends (I think I got that advice from Metafilter).
If I'm sad because I'm overwhelmed by how much I have to do, I try and figure out just two things I need to do. There may be one hundred others, but before I go to bed, I say to myself, 'Doesn't matter if nothing else gets done tomorrow: you just need to write Mr. Humbug back and make a new doctor's appointment. That's not so bad! It's just two things!' Breaking stuff up into manageable bites also helps because it gives me a sense of accomplishment when I do them, which then gives me a bit more momentum to get other things done.
posted by colfax at 2:15 AM on April 25, 2013 [9 favorites]
But honestly, what helps the most is to make a conscious effort to talk nicely to myself when I'm feeling blue, because I've realized I get into this spiral: I'm sad about something, so I start beating myself up about for being such a crummy, miserable person, and then I start telling myself stories about how nothing is ever going to go my way because I'm so rotten, which means I just end up feeling worse than before. All of the walks in the world won't help if you've got that sort of nasty narrative running constantly through your head. So now I try and catch myself and instead try to talk to myself like I'd talk to one of my best friends (I think I got that advice from Metafilter).
If I'm sad because I'm overwhelmed by how much I have to do, I try and figure out just two things I need to do. There may be one hundred others, but before I go to bed, I say to myself, 'Doesn't matter if nothing else gets done tomorrow: you just need to write Mr. Humbug back and make a new doctor's appointment. That's not so bad! It's just two things!' Breaking stuff up into manageable bites also helps because it gives me a sense of accomplishment when I do them, which then gives me a bit more momentum to get other things done.
posted by colfax at 2:15 AM on April 25, 2013 [9 favorites]
Geocaching. Start with easier rated ones, then work up to harder ones. Get a sense of personal achievement, and some exercise, sunshine, and a better awareness of your local neighborhood.
Go onto the www.geocaching.com website, pump in your location details, and find the ones on the map that are closest / easiest to get to. Check the logs on the site to see that the caches are still active and in place. Load up whatever app onto your phone (in many cases, you don't even need this; there's enough clues and info on the main website for many caches).
Then go explore, find, log your achievement, and accumulate.
posted by Wordshore at 3:20 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Go onto the www.geocaching.com website, pump in your location details, and find the ones on the map that are closest / easiest to get to. Check the logs on the site to see that the caches are still active and in place. Load up whatever app onto your phone (in many cases, you don't even need this; there's enough clues and info on the main website for many caches).
Then go explore, find, log your achievement, and accumulate.
posted by Wordshore at 3:20 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Stay away from the news
Watch stand-up comedy, or a funny movie, or funny videos on youtube.
Put on all the lights in the room.
Or, if I'm feeling over-stimulated, sometimes I'll turn off the lights and relax with my computer or Kindle in the semi-darkness
Happy music: this thread or this one has lots of ideas
Search for "humor" on Pinterest. Create your own humor board to pin things to. Scroll through it when you need cheering. You can also create boards of inspirational quotes, spiritual stuff, pictures of cute animals, project ideas, decorating, travel... whatever floats your boat and makes you feel happy and hopeful.
Pray or journal about things that are bothering me
Take a shower, even if it is the last thing I feel like doing... I always feel better after
Eat comfort foods
If I can afford it, go shopping. Buy something to spruce up my living space, like colorful throw pillows or a plant. Or buy a new shirt or lipstick or underwear or shoes.
Get a haircut
Go shopping at Goodwill. You can buy a lot with 20 bucks and find a lot of interesting stuff.
Go to a bookstore with a coffee shop, grab a book or magazine, get a nice coffee drink, and sit there and read for awhile. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house and be around people, even if I don't talk to anyone.
Turn on all the lights, and put on the radio or a podcast or audiobook to listen to while I do a few chores or cook a meal.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 3:52 AM on April 25, 2013 [6 favorites]
Watch stand-up comedy, or a funny movie, or funny videos on youtube.
Put on all the lights in the room.
Or, if I'm feeling over-stimulated, sometimes I'll turn off the lights and relax with my computer or Kindle in the semi-darkness
Happy music: this thread or this one has lots of ideas
Search for "humor" on Pinterest. Create your own humor board to pin things to. Scroll through it when you need cheering. You can also create boards of inspirational quotes, spiritual stuff, pictures of cute animals, project ideas, decorating, travel... whatever floats your boat and makes you feel happy and hopeful.
Pray or journal about things that are bothering me
Take a shower, even if it is the last thing I feel like doing... I always feel better after
Eat comfort foods
If I can afford it, go shopping. Buy something to spruce up my living space, like colorful throw pillows or a plant. Or buy a new shirt or lipstick or underwear or shoes.
Get a haircut
Go shopping at Goodwill. You can buy a lot with 20 bucks and find a lot of interesting stuff.
Go to a bookstore with a coffee shop, grab a book or magazine, get a nice coffee drink, and sit there and read for awhile. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house and be around people, even if I don't talk to anyone.
Turn on all the lights, and put on the radio or a podcast or audiobook to listen to while I do a few chores or cook a meal.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 3:52 AM on April 25, 2013 [6 favorites]
Do you have a porch? Drink a mug of your morning beverage out there, listening to the birds.
Try to stay off internet news sites.
I second ZeroDivides' suggestion about a tidy living space. It's uplifting to come downstairs in the morning to a clean living room.
If you've got the energy, go ice skating. There will be other people at the rink, but they're not looking at you. Once you get moving, your mood will improve.
Are flowers blooming where you live? Give them a big inhale.
posted by BostonTerrier at 3:53 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Try to stay off internet news sites.
I second ZeroDivides' suggestion about a tidy living space. It's uplifting to come downstairs in the morning to a clean living room.
If you've got the energy, go ice skating. There will be other people at the rink, but they're not looking at you. Once you get moving, your mood will improve.
Are flowers blooming where you live? Give them a big inhale.
posted by BostonTerrier at 3:53 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Volunteer. It's a great way to be distracted from your own worries. Caring about someone else—whether that's a kitten at the animal shelter or an old person at a nursing home—is guaranteed to help.
posted by three_red_balloons at 3:55 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by three_red_balloons at 3:55 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Depends on the magnitude, really. For light and modest sadness, if I were confronted with the constraint to 'solve it' in solitary, I'd rededicate myself to whatever I was presently doing, in the confident knowledge that time moves forward, and each movement takes me closer to a time of happiness (itself also transient!), and that there is no reason I am entitled to a life free from pain or sadness, anymore than there is a reason I should always be happy. The universe is amoral. It does not care how you are feeling. One good life trick is to discount the occasional sadness as much as you can, and to drink up those little happy spots like they are the last you'll ever get. The memories of the latter help confront the periodic reality of the former.
For extreme sadness/depression, personally I don't do anything. I shut down and wait. Eventually, I get enough motivation to do something productive. I power through. In most cases, I've had worse, as they say.
Time is your friend. It passes, and much, much faster than you think. Sometimes, I find myself thinking how much my late wife would have enjoyed the chance to be sad today. It's just an emotion, and you are having it on the beautiful planet, in a world where good and bad exist but where good has the upper hand, where kitties play and small children wonder and sing, where people look for love and give it, the sun shines on many days, and where you can likely make it to sundown alive, and be warm and comfortable, and where you can dream that good things are still to come and where you have power over many of the bad ones. It generally gets better.
posted by FauxScot at 4:43 AM on April 25, 2013 [16 favorites]
For extreme sadness/depression, personally I don't do anything. I shut down and wait. Eventually, I get enough motivation to do something productive. I power through. In most cases, I've had worse, as they say.
Time is your friend. It passes, and much, much faster than you think. Sometimes, I find myself thinking how much my late wife would have enjoyed the chance to be sad today. It's just an emotion, and you are having it on the beautiful planet, in a world where good and bad exist but where good has the upper hand, where kitties play and small children wonder and sing, where people look for love and give it, the sun shines on many days, and where you can likely make it to sundown alive, and be warm and comfortable, and where you can dream that good things are still to come and where you have power over many of the bad ones. It generally gets better.
posted by FauxScot at 4:43 AM on April 25, 2013 [16 favorites]
Best answer: This is a little counter-intuitive, but sometimes giving myself permission to be miserable and grumpy and self-pitying for a set amount of time really helps to release the bad energy. I'll mope around in sweats, listen to some Morrissey/Smiths songs, and be upset for a few hours. It can be therapeutic.
Alternatively, make some art. Painting, sketching, sculpting, origami, collage... this is especially effective when the materials you're working with are bright colors.
posted by Fig at 5:40 AM on April 25, 2013 [3 favorites]
Alternatively, make some art. Painting, sketching, sculpting, origami, collage... this is especially effective when the materials you're working with are bright colors.
posted by Fig at 5:40 AM on April 25, 2013 [3 favorites]
You have a couple of choices, one is to totally give into it. Watch tear-jerking movies, listen to sad songs, have a good weep.
The other choice is to do fun stuff, I like reading Jeeves and Wooster stories, I also own the series with Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry, so doing a marathon of those is a nice pick me up as well.
One thing is that when you look back on your life, you won't remember how you felt, but you'll remember what you did. So Do stuff. Like others here, cleaning really helps me, but perhaps you like other things. Cooking, finding a new way to do your makeup, dyeing your hair. Whatever it is.
Call your best friend and have him/her come over to do mani-pedis and drink wine.
The point is, use this mood as a springboard to something. No matter what you chose, the act of ritualizing it will make it easier to deal with.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:07 AM on April 25, 2013
The other choice is to do fun stuff, I like reading Jeeves and Wooster stories, I also own the series with Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry, so doing a marathon of those is a nice pick me up as well.
One thing is that when you look back on your life, you won't remember how you felt, but you'll remember what you did. So Do stuff. Like others here, cleaning really helps me, but perhaps you like other things. Cooking, finding a new way to do your makeup, dyeing your hair. Whatever it is.
Call your best friend and have him/her come over to do mani-pedis and drink wine.
The point is, use this mood as a springboard to something. No matter what you chose, the act of ritualizing it will make it easier to deal with.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:07 AM on April 25, 2013
If all else fails, try searching for "America's Funniest Home Videos" on YouTube. Sometimes it doesn't work, but sometimes you can just get on a roll and laugh hysterically.
posted by Cygnet at 6:08 AM on April 25, 2013
posted by Cygnet at 6:08 AM on April 25, 2013
When it gets that bad, I will allow myself the luxury of going to the cinema during daytime.
posted by ouke at 6:27 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by ouke at 6:27 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Comfort food has been mentioned, but flat-out eating can be a big help ...
... in that, often when the dreadnought of doom comes bearing down on me, I think about it and realize that it's been too many hours since I've had a bite. Turns it from some awful existentialist crisis into a problem with a reachable solution.
And tempting and comforting though sweet, carb-y stuff is at that point, it's better to have a wholesome protein-fat something like almonds or avocado or greek yogurt and flaxseed. Because you've just spent hours feeling craptastic, why give yourself a big sugar crash on top of it? Best.
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 6:44 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
... in that, often when the dreadnought of doom comes bearing down on me, I think about it and realize that it's been too many hours since I've had a bite. Turns it from some awful existentialist crisis into a problem with a reachable solution.
And tempting and comforting though sweet, carb-y stuff is at that point, it's better to have a wholesome protein-fat something like almonds or avocado or greek yogurt and flaxseed. Because you've just spent hours feeling craptastic, why give yourself a big sugar crash on top of it? Best.
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 6:44 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Not sure if you're an animal person, but hit up your local dog park and watch the dogs be ridiculous together. They are so funny sometimes (and just bursting with joy at everything around them) that you can't not smile. It always improves my mood.
posted by torisaur at 7:04 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by torisaur at 7:04 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Go out for a meal in the sort of place where the waitresses chat with you and there's good people-watching. Do you have Waffle House where you are? Basically I'm saying get your ass to Waffle House. (So long as you're not dealing with agoraphobia or social anxiety,) being around that much bustle and cheerfulness is therapeutic.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 7:33 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 7:33 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Sing. No, belt. Belt a very emotional song very loudly.
posted by millipede at 7:58 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by millipede at 7:58 AM on April 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Depends on the type of yuckiness I'm trying to process. If I'm angry or frustrated, honestly, I pull out my RockBand drum kit and wail away. Music is always a help for me. Strong rythms that build through a song.
Aside from that, seconding going outside, for a walk.
posted by dry white toast at 8:31 AM on April 25, 2013
Aside from that, seconding going outside, for a walk.
posted by dry white toast at 8:31 AM on April 25, 2013
For me:
Clean my whole house, do all my laundry (sheets and towels too).
Go for a walk in the sun and get an ice cream cone (either don't bring my phone, or bring it with headphones to listen to happy music but not look at it otherwise).
Go for a bike ride to the beach and walk along the sand (sub park if necessary) (again don't bring phone).
Write a letter to a friend or family member and mail it.
Go to an art museum.
Take an unread book to a sunny cafe and read and drink lattes all afternoon.
Go do anything new that I have never done before.
Read the Dear Sugar archives on the Rumpus. Seriously, it's amazing stuff.
Usually when I am sad it is because I feel lonely. Is there any way you can make plans with friends for the future? Even if I am alone now, having friend times to look forward to feels good.
But in the end, we are alone with just us and our heads, so it's good to figure out how to be with yourself.
posted by amaire at 8:38 AM on April 25, 2013
Clean my whole house, do all my laundry (sheets and towels too).
Go for a walk in the sun and get an ice cream cone (either don't bring my phone, or bring it with headphones to listen to happy music but not look at it otherwise).
Go for a bike ride to the beach and walk along the sand (sub park if necessary) (again don't bring phone).
Write a letter to a friend or family member and mail it.
Go to an art museum.
Take an unread book to a sunny cafe and read and drink lattes all afternoon.
Go do anything new that I have never done before.
Read the Dear Sugar archives on the Rumpus. Seriously, it's amazing stuff.
Usually when I am sad it is because I feel lonely. Is there any way you can make plans with friends for the future? Even if I am alone now, having friend times to look forward to feels good.
But in the end, we are alone with just us and our heads, so it's good to figure out how to be with yourself.
posted by amaire at 8:38 AM on April 25, 2013
Music. Cheerful is fine, but anything that's not outright depressing is fine. Dance music is great; get moving.
Clean the bathroom. Cleaning the whole place may be overwhelming. Cleaning the bathroom is pretty easy, satisfying and fast.
Sunshine, fresh air - take a walk, ideally in nature, experience the sun, birds singing, flowers, squirrels. If you have access to a dog, playing catch or tug, or cuddling and petting, is very comforting. True for some cats.
Self care - healthy comfort food. Lots of fruits & veg. Plenty of sleep.
Reach out - call friends & arrange to spend time together, or just have a phone chat.
posted by theora55 at 9:23 AM on April 25, 2013
Clean the bathroom. Cleaning the whole place may be overwhelming. Cleaning the bathroom is pretty easy, satisfying and fast.
Sunshine, fresh air - take a walk, ideally in nature, experience the sun, birds singing, flowers, squirrels. If you have access to a dog, playing catch or tug, or cuddling and petting, is very comforting. True for some cats.
Self care - healthy comfort food. Lots of fruits & veg. Plenty of sleep.
Reach out - call friends & arrange to spend time together, or just have a phone chat.
posted by theora55 at 9:23 AM on April 25, 2013
Best answer: "Count your blessings": This really helps. Make a list of things that have gone right or are going right.
Smile: Physically smiling makes it hard to wallow and tends to improve your mood, at least a little.
Junk food for the mind: I read Texts From Last Night. Before there was tfln, there was Craig's List. My sister is a fan of rags like The Enquirer.
Physical self care: Eat, drink, nap. It makes a difference.
posted by Michele in California at 10:07 AM on April 25, 2013
Smile: Physically smiling makes it hard to wallow and tends to improve your mood, at least a little.
Junk food for the mind: I read Texts From Last Night. Before there was tfln, there was Craig's List. My sister is a fan of rags like The Enquirer.
Physical self care: Eat, drink, nap. It makes a difference.
posted by Michele in California at 10:07 AM on April 25, 2013
Best answer: Make sure you're a comfortable temperature and fed / hydrated.
Identify if you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or sad (HALTS) or some other feeling so you can tune into any obvious fixes.
That done, I read Bigfoot, I Not Dead until I laugh a bit. Joke books are good, too.
Then I make a todo list, to kind of lay out any remaining crap and see if there's something easy I could do that would take a load off my mind, like cutting my nails or taking out the trash.
I've also had success with baking something tasty as a cure for the mulleygrubs.
posted by momus_window at 10:21 AM on April 25, 2013 [3 favorites]
Identify if you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or sad (HALTS) or some other feeling so you can tune into any obvious fixes.
That done, I read Bigfoot, I Not Dead until I laugh a bit. Joke books are good, too.
Then I make a todo list, to kind of lay out any remaining crap and see if there's something easy I could do that would take a load off my mind, like cutting my nails or taking out the trash.
I've also had success with baking something tasty as a cure for the mulleygrubs.
posted by momus_window at 10:21 AM on April 25, 2013 [3 favorites]
Sorry to hear you're feeling down lately. I sympathize.
Nthing get outside and go somewhere. For me, this leaves a much more lasting sense of satisfaction and contentment than a funny tv episode or Youtube video ever does.
posted by dean_deen at 10:30 AM on April 25, 2013
Nthing get outside and go somewhere. For me, this leaves a much more lasting sense of satisfaction and contentment than a funny tv episode or Youtube video ever does.
posted by dean_deen at 10:30 AM on April 25, 2013
Best answer: http://www.reddit.com/r/standingcats
They are cats. They are standing. Hope you feel happier soon EatMyHat.
posted by 0 answers at 10:50 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
They are cats. They are standing. Hope you feel happier soon EatMyHat.
posted by 0 answers at 10:50 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Best answer: For me little "cheer up" things like kitties, exercise, flowers, music, etc don't really work if I'm dealing with depression and not just sadness. Or, maybe they *could* if only I could manage to get myself off of the couch, but sometimes that's pretty much impossible.
Instead sometimes what I need to do is to say to myself, "My brain is lying to me. This terrible mood I'm in that's causing me to think that everything in the world is terrible is a manifestation of my brain being full of %!@# at the moment. But if I can ride this out it will pass and I will go back to feeling like a normal, functional (maybe even happy!) human being."
posted by Asparagus at 11:04 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Instead sometimes what I need to do is to say to myself, "My brain is lying to me. This terrible mood I'm in that's causing me to think that everything in the world is terrible is a manifestation of my brain being full of %!@# at the moment. But if I can ride this out it will pass and I will go back to feeling like a normal, functional (maybe even happy!) human being."
posted by Asparagus at 11:04 AM on April 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Exercise. Minor exercise. As in "take a walk around the block".
posted by talldean at 11:11 AM on April 25, 2013
posted by talldean at 11:11 AM on April 25, 2013
Drive, especially at night. Nothing like getting out on a highway on a clear night, cranking some music and letting the road unwind behind you.
posted by Mitheral at 5:45 PM on April 25, 2013
posted by Mitheral at 5:45 PM on April 25, 2013
I find that pushing myself to do something--anything--is better than nothing and the more I do the better I feel. So if all I want to do is curl up in bed forever, I get up. If all I want to do is sit around, I stand up and do something easy, like putting in a load of laundry. What I find is that the more I do, the less stuck I feel and the sense of accomplishment gives me a little bit more energy to do more. So instead of the negative feedback loop of depression--inertia--nothing gets done--low self esteem--more depression, I get a positive loop going of depression--do a little--less depression--do a little more, etc. It doesn't always work, but it usually helps. And remember that depression lies to you; it will tell you that you don't have the energy to do things or that things are too overwhelmingly difficult to deal with, but that's not true. You have lots of energy and strength, you just need to ignore the depression talking to you and push toward it.
I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.
posted by WorkingMyWayHome at 8:29 PM on April 25, 2013
I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.
posted by WorkingMyWayHome at 8:29 PM on April 25, 2013
-Make a cup of hot tea, properly, because the tidy little ritual of the preparation is part of the comfort.
-Watch a comfort food-type movie (or TV show, whatever), something you've seen a bunch of times but can always watch without having to focus too much. This of course varies by person; for me some examples are The Shop Around The Corner, Bringing Up Baby, French Kiss, Legally Blonde, and The Fifth Element.
-If you have pets, hang out with them and really observe them and their personalities. Watching a dog roll around in a sunny patch of grass is pretty effective.
-yeah, hot bubbly scented bath with beverage and music/podcast of choice (ideal right before slipping under the covers for bedtime)
-dance and sing around the house while cleaning
-go for a night drive with the kind of guilty pleasure music you can't help singing along to cranked up (windows up for private unselfconsciousness)
-Comfort food books. Some examples for me are Roald Dahl, Tanith Lee, and Robin McKinley; I find titles you read when you were a lot younger that made you feel good about the world, even if they have cathartic moments, are best.
-draw/make art in a private sketchbook just to amuse yourself, with your favorite tools of choice, whether that's just crayons or Crayola markers or proper pencils or watercolors or whatever
-Favorite funny websites you loved but haven't looked at in years due to hiatus for that "internet nostalgia" factor. Perry Bible Fellowship and Strindberg and Helium FTW.
-go wherever in your house or someplace else you have a nice view, the sort of sitting place where you can have a contemplative moment, and just observe silently and breathe deep
-stretch
-Is there one basic concrete brief but niggling little thing around the house you've been meaning to get to--hanging a picture up finally, or properly scrubbing out a pot with calcium deposits or tea stains or something with baking soda/Bon Ami/cream of tartar/whatever, or zesting a fuckton of lemons for some vague future purpose, or making pesto before your basil plant riots? Doing it in these times can be very soothing. Make sure it's something that can really be accomplished start to finish to satisfaction in a brief window of time without a lot of effort (it's been put off more just because it never seems quite urgent/important enough).
posted by ifjuly at 9:55 PM on April 25, 2013
-Watch a comfort food-type movie (or TV show, whatever), something you've seen a bunch of times but can always watch without having to focus too much. This of course varies by person; for me some examples are The Shop Around The Corner, Bringing Up Baby, French Kiss, Legally Blonde, and The Fifth Element.
-If you have pets, hang out with them and really observe them and their personalities. Watching a dog roll around in a sunny patch of grass is pretty effective.
-yeah, hot bubbly scented bath with beverage and music/podcast of choice (ideal right before slipping under the covers for bedtime)
-dance and sing around the house while cleaning
-go for a night drive with the kind of guilty pleasure music you can't help singing along to cranked up (windows up for private unselfconsciousness)
-Comfort food books. Some examples for me are Roald Dahl, Tanith Lee, and Robin McKinley; I find titles you read when you were a lot younger that made you feel good about the world, even if they have cathartic moments, are best.
-draw/make art in a private sketchbook just to amuse yourself, with your favorite tools of choice, whether that's just crayons or Crayola markers or proper pencils or watercolors or whatever
-Favorite funny websites you loved but haven't looked at in years due to hiatus for that "internet nostalgia" factor. Perry Bible Fellowship and Strindberg and Helium FTW.
-go wherever in your house or someplace else you have a nice view, the sort of sitting place where you can have a contemplative moment, and just observe silently and breathe deep
-stretch
-Is there one basic concrete brief but niggling little thing around the house you've been meaning to get to--hanging a picture up finally, or properly scrubbing out a pot with calcium deposits or tea stains or something with baking soda/Bon Ami/cream of tartar/whatever, or zesting a fuckton of lemons for some vague future purpose, or making pesto before your basil plant riots? Doing it in these times can be very soothing. Make sure it's something that can really be accomplished start to finish to satisfaction in a brief window of time without a lot of effort (it's been put off more just because it never seems quite urgent/important enough).
posted by ifjuly at 9:55 PM on April 25, 2013
Oh yeah, if you have drumsticks, drum (doesn't have to be on drums obviously, lest you anger your neighbors)! Even if you're not good. I love that one.
posted by ifjuly at 10:03 PM on April 25, 2013
posted by ifjuly at 10:03 PM on April 25, 2013
Plug in your headphones (noise cancelling ones ideally), turn on your computer mic and recorder, open Pandora, and sing along. The more enthusiasm the better.
Then listen to yourself. It's hard to take things to seriously after that, as long as your not singing along to something like Death Cab for Cutie.
posted by tenaciousd at 10:06 PM on April 25, 2013
Then listen to yourself. It's hard to take things to seriously after that, as long as your not singing along to something like Death Cab for Cutie.
posted by tenaciousd at 10:06 PM on April 25, 2013
When I am feeling low, just getting some sunshine on my face really helps.
In that state I usually don't really feel like exercising, so I will wander out into the backyard and observe my garden. I end up weeding for a few minutes or doing other things in the yard, but I don't go out there with the purpose of doing "work" or "exercise". If it is a day where I am at the office I will get out and take a short walk around the block.
posted by vignettist at 11:11 AM on April 26, 2013
In that state I usually don't really feel like exercising, so I will wander out into the backyard and observe my garden. I end up weeding for a few minutes or doing other things in the yard, but I don't go out there with the purpose of doing "work" or "exercise". If it is a day where I am at the office I will get out and take a short walk around the block.
posted by vignettist at 11:11 AM on April 26, 2013
When I am having a sad day, what helps is:
- getting out and doing SOMETHING so that when I go to bed I feel like I at least accomplished something
- exercise hard. Mega sweat, mega heavy breathing. I push myself really hard. This makes me feel tired but powerful and strong. And I sleep better.
- laying naked, spread eagle, on TOP of my bed, on top of the covers. I don't know why this helps but it does.
- watch a movie from my childhood (usually Follow That Bird)
- go shopping for a new pair of earrings, usually at Claire's because they have a LOT to choose from and they are dirt cheap.
- go for a long walk along the trails in my city. The sunshine and the fresh air and the being active always makes me feel better. Bonus points for listenig to happy peppy music while you walk.
- writing in my journal and then looking back at old posts in my journal and marvelling at how much I have changed and how all these things that seemed soooooooooooo important at the time really weren't.
- a can of sweetened condensed milk and a spoon... (don't judge me)
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 12:08 PM on April 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
- getting out and doing SOMETHING so that when I go to bed I feel like I at least accomplished something
- exercise hard. Mega sweat, mega heavy breathing. I push myself really hard. This makes me feel tired but powerful and strong. And I sleep better.
- laying naked, spread eagle, on TOP of my bed, on top of the covers. I don't know why this helps but it does.
- watch a movie from my childhood (usually Follow That Bird)
- go shopping for a new pair of earrings, usually at Claire's because they have a LOT to choose from and they are dirt cheap.
- go for a long walk along the trails in my city. The sunshine and the fresh air and the being active always makes me feel better. Bonus points for listenig to happy peppy music while you walk.
- writing in my journal and then looking back at old posts in my journal and marvelling at how much I have changed and how all these things that seemed soooooooooooo important at the time really weren't.
- a can of sweetened condensed milk and a spoon... (don't judge me)
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 12:08 PM on April 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
Do laughing yoga.
Search for it on youtube (blocked at work). It's pretty ridiculous, but once you go along it's impossible not to laugh and feel better.
posted by puertosurf at 2:22 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Search for it on youtube (blocked at work). It's pretty ridiculous, but once you go along it's impossible not to laugh and feel better.
posted by puertosurf at 2:22 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Hey everyone, I'm so overwhelmed by the number of good ideas on this thread! Thank you all for contributing - fwiw I do feel thoroughly better now, and did start to pick up even reading some of them! I've marked best answers but it was hard to do! There were lots of good ideas in the posts I didn't mark as well.
As for what worked for me : I found the sweating it out at the gym helped, baking cookies helped, talking nicely to myself helped, curling up under the covers / napping helped and so did eating something nice and sitting in the sunshine.
thanks!
posted by EatMyHat at 4:10 AM on April 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
As for what worked for me : I found the sweating it out at the gym helped, baking cookies helped, talking nicely to myself helped, curling up under the covers / napping helped and so did eating something nice and sitting in the sunshine.
thanks!
posted by EatMyHat at 4:10 AM on April 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
I sing VERRRRRY loud in my car.
Loud, as in, the stereo is turned up as far as it goes (so the speaker in the door makes my pants leg flap), and I am hoarse when I get home, and the spittle flies. I assume I am alarming drivers of other cars, but hey, I am spreading joy because they will have a good story to tell over dinner.
After twenty-odd minutes of shouting out Frank Turner and "Jesus Built My Hot Rod" and Great Big Sea and a few others, I get home to my wife and kids and I am....OK. It works every time for me.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:09 PM on April 29, 2013
Loud, as in, the stereo is turned up as far as it goes (so the speaker in the door makes my pants leg flap), and I am hoarse when I get home, and the spittle flies. I assume I am alarming drivers of other cars, but hey, I am spreading joy because they will have a good story to tell over dinner.
After twenty-odd minutes of shouting out Frank Turner and "Jesus Built My Hot Rod" and Great Big Sea and a few others, I get home to my wife and kids and I am....OK. It works every time for me.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:09 PM on April 29, 2013
I watch Peep Show. At twenty-two quid for seven series, this is the single best investment you will ever make in your mental health and in your laughter-muscles. Your laughter-muscles will undergo massive gainz.
Incidentally, another way to cheer up is by lifting something heavy. Commence a good barbell routine forthwith and concentrate on breaking personal records (PRs) every time. Even if it's just a tiny improvement, you will feel like a million bucks every time, I guarantee it.
posted by turgid dahlia 2 at 2:45 PM on April 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
Incidentally, another way to cheer up is by lifting something heavy. Commence a good barbell routine forthwith and concentrate on breaking personal records (PRs) every time. Even if it's just a tiny improvement, you will feel like a million bucks every time, I guarantee it.
posted by turgid dahlia 2 at 2:45 PM on April 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
Something with an achievable goal or fixing something that's broken. Even if it's a little thing. Like doing tasks that have been piling up, it's a small bit of accomplishment that brings me a little spark of "YAY".
posted by rmd1023 at 12:00 PM on May 1, 2013
posted by rmd1023 at 12:00 PM on May 1, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
Do something quick and easy from your to-do list to give yourself a quick sense of accomplishment
Vigorous exercise
Before bed, change your sheets for fresh ones. Fresh sheets are delicious.
Hug a kitty
Bake a cake
Take a nap
Watch an episode of your favourite feel-good TV program
Read a feel-good book. Often something you loved as a kid works well for this.
Get some delicious-smelling lotion. Rub it on your feet/legs.
Read metafilter.
Hot chocolate or other cosy drink.
Go for a walk in the sun. Or sit outside in the sun for a little bit. (Wear sunscreen!)
Pick some flowers, or buy yourself some and arrange them somewhere you'll see them often.
posted by lollusc at 12:30 AM on April 25, 2013 [15 favorites]