I'm blue. Healthy suggestions for cheering myself up?
March 3, 2013 3:20 AM   Subscribe

My baby brother moved to London yesterday and I'm sadder than sad. We're really close and he lived a couple of minutes from me so we hung out a lot. I'm going to miss him so much and it'll take me a while to accept that he's a flight away, and I can't just randomly drop in on him, hear his little hello, and settle down for a few hours of putting the world to rights. My usual way of dealing with sadness is not very productive - namely substances of varying degrees of legality, and chocolate. Help me make a list of positive things I can do to lift me out of the little pool of tears I'm in. He's left me one of his guitars - which was mine about 20 years ago - and I'm determined to learn it this time. Any other suggestions? Thanks.
posted by billiebee to Human Relations (7 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
It's ok to feel sad at a time like this - family moving away is a perfectly acceptable thing to be down. However, it's also the start of spring! That means you're looking at a few months of ok-ish weather that leads to the hot sunny part of the year!

You could start doing some walks in the countryside, which would get you out of the house and (maybe) a bit healthier. Or other outdoor activities - cycling, camping... whatever it is that people do outdoors... that stuff! This is also a great time to work on cooking a few new ace meals for yourself. I learnt to cook meringues last year, when I was staying by myself, and it was great because nobody else had to eat my failed attempts. Now I can just cook good meringues, and nobody knows about the two dozen eggs I wasted making crap meringues!

Finally, you can arrange to go see your brother in London. I hear there's lots of stuff to do there!
posted by The River Ivel at 3:36 AM on March 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


Best answer: How about starting a creative project of some kind? When I read The River Ivel's thoughts about the start of spring and walks in the countryside, the first thing that came to my mind was a photo blog. You could try a Project 365 (one photo a day for a year). It gets you thinking creatively, gives you a goal for your walks, and it's something your brother can follow and comment on from where he is.

More broadly, I've found that my most reliable method for getting out of a low mood is what I call the Arbitrary Quest. It could be a complete whim, something you have to get done anyway, or somewhere in between; the point is that you pick a goal to achieve that gets you out of the house, and then go and do it. E.g.:

1) When does the lake open for swimming this year? I'll walk there and find out.
2) I'm going to take all this dry cleaning to the shop, post all these parcels and then buy myself a chelsea bun from that cake shop as an extra reward!
3) This tea is awesome, I bet my friend Suzy would like it. I'm going to trek across town to the tea shop and get her some as a surprise.

Maybe you and your brother could send each other postcards, and your project could be to find ever weirder ones to send him?
posted by daisyk at 5:51 AM on March 3, 2013 [12 favorites]


Make a list of positive things related to him being in London; the things he will experience and how he might grow and develop because of it. You can reframe it in a positive way. Not as a loss for you but something new for him. Speaking as someone who made that move - give him a shout, just a little note by text even to say 'hey'. There are a million ways to keep in touch now (Skype etc.) and if you are close he will appreciate that.
posted by 0 answers at 5:56 AM on March 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm a big fan of occupy the space/time that has been made empty.
You could get a pet. Unconditional love right there! Adopt an older one if training isn't your thing.

You could pick up a new hobby (in addition to guitar) and maybe even take classes in that hobby. That way you have to be outside of the house at a certain time, plus you might meet new people. Same goes for scheduled exercise classes.

That's really cool how close you two are. And kudos for recognizing and taking active steps to remedy your current state of sadness. Good luck!
posted by Neekee at 6:07 AM on March 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Go to the gym.
posted by bebrave! at 6:54 AM on March 3, 2013


Take a guitar class, if there are any available in your area. Learning with a group is fun. There might also be a guitar meetup in your area.

Volunteer.

Set up skype or phone sessions with your brother. I like the weird postcard idea too.

Go to places and events where you can meet new friends. Not to replace your brother but because as a human being you have a legitimate need to be around other human beings and that's important.
posted by bunderful at 8:34 AM on March 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


Plan a big care package to send him, maybe do it every month, or every 3 months.
Pack his favourite foods, or funny little cards and nik naks that remind you of each other.
Getting stuff in the post is always fun.
posted by Youremyworld at 5:59 PM on March 4, 2013 [3 favorites]


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