Suddenly absent-minded. Why?
May 27, 2022 7:59 PM Subscribe
Lately I've been terribly absent-minded. Scanned my driver's license to check out a book at the library instead of my library card; picked up my mail but couldn't find the mailbox key afterward (I'd left it in the keyhole of the mailbox); I work at a sports center and a kid handed me money to swim, I rang it up and then handed his money back to him instead of putting it in the til. The list goes on and on. This started occurring pretty suddenly about two weeks ago. What is going on?
The abruptness of it seems a bit concerning. Have you started taking any drugs recently? Been chronically fatigued? Maybe see a neurologist and/or have your thyroid checked just in case of anything physically amiss?
posted by iadacanavon at 8:49 PM on May 27, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by iadacanavon at 8:49 PM on May 27, 2022 [2 favorites]
See your doc and ask for tests. So many things can impact memory.
posted by bunderful at 9:15 PM on May 27, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by bunderful at 9:15 PM on May 27, 2022 [1 favorite]
My first guesses are sleep (not enough) or stress (too much). Of course could very well be both.
posted by rabbitbookworm at 9:29 PM on May 27, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by rabbitbookworm at 9:29 PM on May 27, 2022 [5 favorites]
Star with getting more sleep and reducing stress, including not panicking over this.
I was once so stressed (having accepted a new job that night that I knew was going to be a long, bad experience) that I stopped my car on the shoulder of the road because I thought I was going to be ill, got out, and walked behind the car toward the shoulder...not having taken the keys out of the ignition and not having put the car in park! (I chased the car, opened the thankfully-unlocked door, jumped in, and put it in park.) FWIW, days later, I got out of the car in a parking space and again forgot to put the car in park or retrieve my keys. I was about 26. I was so stressed by large and small things and my brain was so focused elsewhere that I am lucky I didn't walk into traffic.
Not all stress manifests itself as angry, short-tempered, freaked-out-ed-ness. There's personal stress, there's "my country is going to h-e-double-hockey-sticks in a hand-basket" stress, there's pandemic stress. Not all of it is experienced and quantifiable in a way that you can say, "Oh, sorry I've been cranky, I am stressed by these three things."
What you are describing are all signs of not focusing your attention on what you're doing; you're not forgetting how to scan your library card, retrieve your key, or put money in the cash register. You haven't forgotten what a library card is, where keys go, or how to process a purchase. Your brain is fatigued, and you are forgetting to focus on what you're doing.
Start by making sure you are feeding yourself properly (including hydrating, as they say cognition decreases even going only two hours without hydration), work on getting more sleep, and do whatever self-care you can to ease your stress.
If you're still experiencing symptoms in two weeks, log them and then make an appointment with your physician for a workup.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 10:06 PM on May 27, 2022 [20 favorites]
I was once so stressed (having accepted a new job that night that I knew was going to be a long, bad experience) that I stopped my car on the shoulder of the road because I thought I was going to be ill, got out, and walked behind the car toward the shoulder...not having taken the keys out of the ignition and not having put the car in park! (I chased the car, opened the thankfully-unlocked door, jumped in, and put it in park.) FWIW, days later, I got out of the car in a parking space and again forgot to put the car in park or retrieve my keys. I was about 26. I was so stressed by large and small things and my brain was so focused elsewhere that I am lucky I didn't walk into traffic.
Not all stress manifests itself as angry, short-tempered, freaked-out-ed-ness. There's personal stress, there's "my country is going to h-e-double-hockey-sticks in a hand-basket" stress, there's pandemic stress. Not all of it is experienced and quantifiable in a way that you can say, "Oh, sorry I've been cranky, I am stressed by these three things."
What you are describing are all signs of not focusing your attention on what you're doing; you're not forgetting how to scan your library card, retrieve your key, or put money in the cash register. You haven't forgotten what a library card is, where keys go, or how to process a purchase. Your brain is fatigued, and you are forgetting to focus on what you're doing.
Start by making sure you are feeding yourself properly (including hydrating, as they say cognition decreases even going only two hours without hydration), work on getting more sleep, and do whatever self-care you can to ease your stress.
If you're still experiencing symptoms in two weeks, log them and then make an appointment with your physician for a workup.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 10:06 PM on May 27, 2022 [20 favorites]
When this started happening to me, I was very low in iron (women are prone to this). An infusion sorted me out pretty quickly. Wouldn’t hurt to get it checked.
posted by Jubey at 11:43 PM on May 27, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Jubey at 11:43 PM on May 27, 2022 [3 favorites]
Could it be brain fog from a previous covid infection?
posted by mydonkeybenjamin at 2:05 AM on May 28, 2022 [10 favorites]
posted by mydonkeybenjamin at 2:05 AM on May 28, 2022 [10 favorites]
Just throwing perimenopause into the mix if that could be a factor for you. The suddenness does sound unusual, and for me that would be a sign of stress. But could it have been creeping up slowly and then suddenly reached a tipping point where you noticed it, and then kept noticing it?
posted by penguin pie at 2:29 AM on May 28, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by penguin pie at 2:29 AM on May 28, 2022 [7 favorites]
For me this was all of the above: severe, chronic stress, chronic long term sleep deprivation, iron deficiency, other health problems, and as a bonus unprocessed trauma.
I would start with making sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, lower stress. Maybe try to take it easy for a couple days over the weekend or whatever time you have off from work.
If this continues even when you're sleeping well, eating well, and not abnormally stressed, then it may be worth going to a doctor. Though you may have to go to several doctors to find one who will take this seriously (ask me how I know) - especially if you are female and/or a POC.
posted by litera scripta manet at 4:22 AM on May 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
I would start with making sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, lower stress. Maybe try to take it easy for a couple days over the weekend or whatever time you have off from work.
If this continues even when you're sleeping well, eating well, and not abnormally stressed, then it may be worth going to a doctor. Though you may have to go to several doctors to find one who will take this seriously (ask me how I know) - especially if you are female and/or a POC.
posted by litera scripta manet at 4:22 AM on May 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
Might also be worth giving meditation a shot.
posted by edbles at 5:17 AM on May 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by edbles at 5:17 AM on May 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
I've done things like this and I attribute it to: Post-Covid brain fog (It's real. I had it and I think it's getting better but it lasted for a good while). Stress. Preoccupation -- are you thinking about something a lot? A relationship or a crush for instance? If you're a daydreamer like I am, are you daydreaming a bit more?
posted by loveandhappiness at 5:34 AM on May 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by loveandhappiness at 5:34 AM on May 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
I had a colleague once tell me that when I did things like this (misplacing my glasses, leaving my credit card at a bar, not remembering where I parked) it was because I was imagining myself 2 steps ahead already, and not being fully present where I was.
So, my body was doing one task but my brain had moved on to something else already, which is why later I was foggy or couldn't really remember. So, when you're getting the mail, you're looking at the envelopes and thinking about recycling most of this, what's in this bill, oh look a wedding invite, hm jury duty, instead of being engaged with the current active process of your body getting the mail - turning the key, putting it back in your pocket.
The mantra I use is "When you're making the soup, just make the soup."
It takes a bit of habit-building, but that one offhanded comment years ago makes me much more present in my day-to-day activities. I make WAY fewer lifestyle mistakes since it's easier to remember the little stuff.
This may not be grounded in cognitive science, but it sure works for me.
posted by nkknkk at 8:43 AM on May 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
So, my body was doing one task but my brain had moved on to something else already, which is why later I was foggy or couldn't really remember. So, when you're getting the mail, you're looking at the envelopes and thinking about recycling most of this, what's in this bill, oh look a wedding invite, hm jury duty, instead of being engaged with the current active process of your body getting the mail - turning the key, putting it back in your pocket.
The mantra I use is "When you're making the soup, just make the soup."
It takes a bit of habit-building, but that one offhanded comment years ago makes me much more present in my day-to-day activities. I make WAY fewer lifestyle mistakes since it's easier to remember the little stuff.
This may not be grounded in cognitive science, but it sure works for me.
posted by nkknkk at 8:43 AM on May 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
I too, am suddenly doing this sort of thing. I scared the hell out of myself the other day when I realized too late that I was at the wrong meeting across town, having blithely blown past numerous little details that should have alerted me. I realized I'm on autopilot (like, EXTREMELY on autopilot). As far as I can tell, it's a cumulation of grief and stress and anxiety and constant low-grade trauma. I mean, I can feel the multiple layers of processing my brain is attempting to do - I'm thinking and ruminating and worrying and not sleeping.
I'm trying to work presentness into my day twice a day - a short meditation walk or quiet sit.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 9:23 AM on May 28, 2022 [4 favorites]
I'm trying to work presentness into my day twice a day - a short meditation walk or quiet sit.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 9:23 AM on May 28, 2022 [4 favorites]
When this happens to older people, UTIs are sometimes the culprit. I don't know your age but figured I'd throw it out there just in case.
posted by Threeve at 9:42 AM on May 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by Threeve at 9:42 AM on May 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
You could also be low in B12. I’m n-thing the suggestion to see your doctor, but in the meantime, making sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, thinking about how you deal with stress, and drinking enough water are all things that might make a difference.
I had also been struggling with focus issues, as have many of us during the pandemic, although mine did not come on as suddenly as yours did. In my case,
I found the book Peak Mind very helpful. Changing up my longstanding meditation practice to follow her advice has brought me near-magical results, but the real benefit has come from understanding what has been going on with my attention. If you have the bandwidth, the book is worthwhile and a relatively easy read.
posted by rpfields at 10:51 AM on May 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
I had also been struggling with focus issues, as have many of us during the pandemic, although mine did not come on as suddenly as yours did. In my case,
I found the book Peak Mind very helpful. Changing up my longstanding meditation practice to follow her advice has brought me near-magical results, but the real benefit has come from understanding what has been going on with my attention. If you have the bandwidth, the book is worthwhile and a relatively easy read.
posted by rpfields at 10:51 AM on May 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
I feel like a doctor's appointment is needed. Lab tests first. Could be your body is low on something important but if this all came on suddenly it is concerning. I felt tired and brain fogged for quite a while before a doctor thought to check for hypothyroidism. I can only assume because I didn't gain weight like many do. Advocate for yourself. I think you have to when you go to the doctors nowadays as they miss things.
posted by DixieBaby at 11:11 AM on May 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by DixieBaby at 11:11 AM on May 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
Seconding could it be post-COVID "brain fog?"
posted by slidell at 11:27 AM on May 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by slidell at 11:27 AM on May 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
DOCTOR. There are a million benign reasons, but you must must must rule out something serious. Make an appointment, stress that it is impacting your life and that it came on very suddenly. Do not be brushed off and push for testing.
posted by Bottlecap at 9:00 AM on May 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Bottlecap at 9:00 AM on May 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
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