How do I become less physically lazy?
March 17, 2022 2:05 PM Subscribe
How do I become less physically lazy? I'm tired of trying to force and push and chivvy myself into not being lazy.
Tl;dr: I am looking for advice on how to become less lazy and someone who actually likes to be moderately active without it being a chore or something that I am being forced to do.
This is not exactly an exercise question, but exercise is part of it. I'm not looking to become an athlete, just someone for whom the odd stroll around the block etc doesn't seem like a big and incredibly unpleasant deal.
I maintain a functional, and, in fact, extremely busy, stressful and tightly-scheduled work and social life. My family life is also stressful. It is possible for me to leave the house on time, navigate a busy city using walking and public transport, run important errands etc. However, when such an activity has not been mandated by work or social obligations, I find it almost impossible to do.
When I do not have to move/be anywhere/do anything, I am so sedentary as to almost resemble a piece of furniture. I also find the process of getting ready to leave the house boring and time-consuming (Assume my getting ready routine is as optimised as it can be). This means that I am 0% likely to leave the house for a random errand, or to get some exercise, unless I will be fired or I will miss out on a fun social outing or I will annoy someone.
This means that non-vital things e.g. errands and exercise just... don't end up happening. Or if they do they are the result of me psyching myself up from the previous evening, chivvying and forcing and scolding myself continuously, setting three alarms on different alarm clocks in different parts of the bedroom, not allowing myself to even have a cup of tea before I leave the house because I know that once my butt hits the surface of a chair that's it, I'm not going anywhere. Because I am extremely lazy, I hate and resent doing any physical activity if I don't have to do it. To note, I am not physically incapable or too tired to be doing these things, I just have extremely little inclination, no innate energy or 'bounce'.
I wish I could just like do something mildly active like pop into the shops or check out the local library rather than turn into a complete slug the second I have some spare time. At 40, I feel like I am too young to be this lazy. Of course this has been made 10 times worse by the coronavirus pandemic.
In my 20s my anxiety/depression was so bad that I hated being alone at home, so I used to go out all the time for no real reason, just for walks or to the shops etc, but now that I am older, I am totally the opposite; I love being at home. While I am glad my mental health is better (I would describe myself as a very stressed out, but otherwise happy enough person), I wish it didn't have the side effect of turning me into such a lazy person.
I try to maintain a reasonable bedtime routine, but I generally wake up too early because I am stressed out all the time (cf work, family, life stuff beyond the realms of this question). I eat too much sweet food, but in general a varied diet. I don't take any supplements. I'm overweight. Which is one of the reasons I'd like to be more active and also most likely one of the reasons I find it so unpleasant to be active. I average about 6k steps a day in the course of work and other mandatory activity.
I don't want to run a marathon, I just want to be someone who will randomly pop out to do the odd errand, who will randomly go on a 30 min walk a day, etc.
Tl;dr: I am looking for advice on how to become less lazy and someone who actually likes to be moderately active without it being a chore or something that I am being forced to do.
This is not exactly an exercise question, but exercise is part of it. I'm not looking to become an athlete, just someone for whom the odd stroll around the block etc doesn't seem like a big and incredibly unpleasant deal.
I maintain a functional, and, in fact, extremely busy, stressful and tightly-scheduled work and social life. My family life is also stressful. It is possible for me to leave the house on time, navigate a busy city using walking and public transport, run important errands etc. However, when such an activity has not been mandated by work or social obligations, I find it almost impossible to do.
When I do not have to move/be anywhere/do anything, I am so sedentary as to almost resemble a piece of furniture. I also find the process of getting ready to leave the house boring and time-consuming (Assume my getting ready routine is as optimised as it can be). This means that I am 0% likely to leave the house for a random errand, or to get some exercise, unless I will be fired or I will miss out on a fun social outing or I will annoy someone.
This means that non-vital things e.g. errands and exercise just... don't end up happening. Or if they do they are the result of me psyching myself up from the previous evening, chivvying and forcing and scolding myself continuously, setting three alarms on different alarm clocks in different parts of the bedroom, not allowing myself to even have a cup of tea before I leave the house because I know that once my butt hits the surface of a chair that's it, I'm not going anywhere. Because I am extremely lazy, I hate and resent doing any physical activity if I don't have to do it. To note, I am not physically incapable or too tired to be doing these things, I just have extremely little inclination, no innate energy or 'bounce'.
I wish I could just like do something mildly active like pop into the shops or check out the local library rather than turn into a complete slug the second I have some spare time. At 40, I feel like I am too young to be this lazy. Of course this has been made 10 times worse by the coronavirus pandemic.
In my 20s my anxiety/depression was so bad that I hated being alone at home, so I used to go out all the time for no real reason, just for walks or to the shops etc, but now that I am older, I am totally the opposite; I love being at home. While I am glad my mental health is better (I would describe myself as a very stressed out, but otherwise happy enough person), I wish it didn't have the side effect of turning me into such a lazy person.
I try to maintain a reasonable bedtime routine, but I generally wake up too early because I am stressed out all the time (cf work, family, life stuff beyond the realms of this question). I eat too much sweet food, but in general a varied diet. I don't take any supplements. I'm overweight. Which is one of the reasons I'd like to be more active and also most likely one of the reasons I find it so unpleasant to be active. I average about 6k steps a day in the course of work and other mandatory activity.
I don't want to run a marathon, I just want to be someone who will randomly pop out to do the odd errand, who will randomly go on a 30 min walk a day, etc.
Also, not to abuse the edit window-- did you have COVID? Could you have had asymptomatic COVID? Long-term fatigue is a symptom of long COVID. Pushing through it doesn't help. Resting more is what helps with that.
posted by blnkfrnk at 2:15 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by blnkfrnk at 2:15 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Holy shit, are you me?? Watching this thread with interest.
posted by greta simone at 2:23 PM on March 17, 2022 [22 favorites]
posted by greta simone at 2:23 PM on March 17, 2022 [22 favorites]
I could have written this post, right down to the part about being more active in my 20's. I find it super difficult to justify leaving the house these days unless I absolutely have to. Like you, this existed before the pandemic, but the last two years have only made it worse. I also find it very hard to stay motivated and to discipline myself. I download trackers and motivational apps and use them once, then ignore them, then uninstall them. I sign up for gym classes and never go. Etc.
A few thoughts:
One, stress is exhausting, physically. Don't underestimate its impact on your body. It takes energy to be stressed and you're expending a lot of it even before you get up. So don't be too hard on yourself for wanting to take it easy.
Two, one thing I've found that works for me is treating myself to something whenever I leave the house. Whether that's buying a small cute houseplant when I go to the supermarket or getting a fancy coffee, it helps to bolster my willingness to go outside. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm training myself like a dog, but hey, if it works, it works.
I've also heard of other people in a similar position (mostly related to exercise) suggest having an audiobook or a music playlist or something that you only let yourself play when you're out and about, so you have something to look forward to and motivate you to head out on an errand so you can listen to that song/get to the end of the chapter. I've had some success with this in that I really like listening to music on my headphones and wandering around, so it helps a bit to give myself something to look forward to.
posted by fight or flight at 2:28 PM on March 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
A few thoughts:
One, stress is exhausting, physically. Don't underestimate its impact on your body. It takes energy to be stressed and you're expending a lot of it even before you get up. So don't be too hard on yourself for wanting to take it easy.
Two, one thing I've found that works for me is treating myself to something whenever I leave the house. Whether that's buying a small cute houseplant when I go to the supermarket or getting a fancy coffee, it helps to bolster my willingness to go outside. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm training myself like a dog, but hey, if it works, it works.
I've also heard of other people in a similar position (mostly related to exercise) suggest having an audiobook or a music playlist or something that you only let yourself play when you're out and about, so you have something to look forward to and motivate you to head out on an errand so you can listen to that song/get to the end of the chapter. I've had some success with this in that I really like listening to music on my headphones and wandering around, so it helps a bit to give myself something to look forward to.
posted by fight or flight at 2:28 PM on March 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
Best answer: I just want to be someone who will randomly pop out to do the odd errand, who will randomly go on a 30 min walk a day, etc.
I find it hard to jibe all this "randomness" with your highly exhausting, stressful, and overscheduled day...it's entirely unrealistic to expect that at 40 years old, you'll be able and willing to spend 100% of your non-sleep time in some kind of activity. Your body is quite rightly trying to carve out moments of rest where it can, because bodies need rest.
Also, and please know when I say this to you I'm also saying it to me: It doesn't matter how things worked when you were in your 20s, you are not anymore.
That said, you seem to respond well (exclusively?) to scheduling. So: never mind the "randomness," your life doesn't allow that. Schedule it. Create the kinds of obstacles you respond to: if you don't do the thing, it will cost you money, or you will annoy people. If you live close enough to your work, get rid of your car or your bus pass and commit to biking/walking there. Then, if you don't do it, you'll get fired.
This will either add enough variety, energy, and interest to your life that you start feeling better about this stuff and less resentful of it, OR, you'll burn entirely the fuck out and have to rethink your life from first principles and that might be what you actually need.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 2:31 PM on March 17, 2022 [21 favorites]
I find it hard to jibe all this "randomness" with your highly exhausting, stressful, and overscheduled day...it's entirely unrealistic to expect that at 40 years old, you'll be able and willing to spend 100% of your non-sleep time in some kind of activity. Your body is quite rightly trying to carve out moments of rest where it can, because bodies need rest.
Also, and please know when I say this to you I'm also saying it to me: It doesn't matter how things worked when you were in your 20s, you are not anymore.
That said, you seem to respond well (exclusively?) to scheduling. So: never mind the "randomness," your life doesn't allow that. Schedule it. Create the kinds of obstacles you respond to: if you don't do the thing, it will cost you money, or you will annoy people. If you live close enough to your work, get rid of your car or your bus pass and commit to biking/walking there. Then, if you don't do it, you'll get fired.
This will either add enough variety, energy, and interest to your life that you start feeling better about this stuff and less resentful of it, OR, you'll burn entirely the fuck out and have to rethink your life from first principles and that might be what you actually need.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 2:31 PM on March 17, 2022 [21 favorites]
Also watching this thread. I can attest that especially when the weather is cold, the simple "stroll around the block so you know you did SOMETHING today!" is so fucking arduous and unpleasant to me - the combination of having to "gear up" as well as bracing myself for chilly wind in my face - you'd think you were asking me to do a Crossfit routine. I can not fathom how people actually go out for a multi-mile run in any kind of sub 50F weather. And yes the pandemic has exacerbated this by 100. I'm hoping as it gets warmer, I can put an end to this.
That is to say, 1) I too will be watching this thread and 2) I have found that buying a small amount of groceries every day or every other day - just enough to make a dinner that night, sort of makes me get out of the house. Like, hey, want to eat? Ok you have to get out and walk. I don't know if you live in a walkable area, but it's been how I've been tricking myself to bare-minimum *not* resign to melting into the couch lately.
posted by windbox at 2:33 PM on March 17, 2022 [8 favorites]
That is to say, 1) I too will be watching this thread and 2) I have found that buying a small amount of groceries every day or every other day - just enough to make a dinner that night, sort of makes me get out of the house. Like, hey, want to eat? Ok you have to get out and walk. I don't know if you live in a walkable area, but it's been how I've been tricking myself to bare-minimum *not* resign to melting into the couch lately.
posted by windbox at 2:33 PM on March 17, 2022 [8 favorites]
However, when such an activity has not been mandated by work or social obligations, I find it almost impossible to do.
You're saying that you want to be someone who randomly pops out, but what if you started by scheduling a walk or two a week with a friend or neighbor? It only needs to be for 30 minutes or so. Maybe it will remind you that it can be nice to walk around? Make it about the walk, so it doesn't need to be a great friend, but just someone you find pleasant enough who also wants some more regular activity. A neighbor would be ideal, and two would be great, in case one person needs to cancel.
I walk a fair amount (I have a dog) but was getting a bit bored with my walks, and I came up with a theme of things to photograph on my walks for a while. A friend decided to walk every single street in this town; you could start with your neighborhood. Or, this is a great time of year to take note of what's in bloom and take a photo and share it via social media, if you do such things.
Do you listen to any podcasts or audio books? One way to motivate yourself would be to listen to a favorite podcast or exciting audiobook only when you're on a walk.
Another friend of mine uses this strategy for runs (and you can use it for a walk): he tells himself that he's not going for a run; he's just walking to the mailbox/end of driveway/sidewalk. So he says, okay, I'm just going to go to the sidewalk, and if I still don't want to go for a run (walk), I won't. And, by the time he's at the sidewalk, he does want to keep going.
You could also link the walk to another kind of reward: what if you let yourself have a sweet treat only at the end of your walk? (I would need the walk to be to the place with the sweet treats because I can't keep that stuff at home.) Or, walk to get your favorite special tea, that sort of thing.
You sound busy, and stressed, and I don't think that leads to a situation where it's easy to pop out for a walk. But I'll also mention something else that's true for me, in case it's true for you: my phone is a huge anchor. It's light, and doesn't literally weigh me down, but I know I waste a lot of time on it, and I know that because when I am in places with poor reception, or where I can't use it for some other reason, I find I am more energized. So perhaps, like me, you might also figure out if your little pocket computer is at all a problem for you (and I'm still looking for solutions myself).
posted by bluedaisy at 2:52 PM on March 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
You're saying that you want to be someone who randomly pops out, but what if you started by scheduling a walk or two a week with a friend or neighbor? It only needs to be for 30 minutes or so. Maybe it will remind you that it can be nice to walk around? Make it about the walk, so it doesn't need to be a great friend, but just someone you find pleasant enough who also wants some more regular activity. A neighbor would be ideal, and two would be great, in case one person needs to cancel.
I walk a fair amount (I have a dog) but was getting a bit bored with my walks, and I came up with a theme of things to photograph on my walks for a while. A friend decided to walk every single street in this town; you could start with your neighborhood. Or, this is a great time of year to take note of what's in bloom and take a photo and share it via social media, if you do such things.
Do you listen to any podcasts or audio books? One way to motivate yourself would be to listen to a favorite podcast or exciting audiobook only when you're on a walk.
Another friend of mine uses this strategy for runs (and you can use it for a walk): he tells himself that he's not going for a run; he's just walking to the mailbox/end of driveway/sidewalk. So he says, okay, I'm just going to go to the sidewalk, and if I still don't want to go for a run (walk), I won't. And, by the time he's at the sidewalk, he does want to keep going.
You could also link the walk to another kind of reward: what if you let yourself have a sweet treat only at the end of your walk? (I would need the walk to be to the place with the sweet treats because I can't keep that stuff at home.) Or, walk to get your favorite special tea, that sort of thing.
You sound busy, and stressed, and I don't think that leads to a situation where it's easy to pop out for a walk. But I'll also mention something else that's true for me, in case it's true for you: my phone is a huge anchor. It's light, and doesn't literally weigh me down, but I know I waste a lot of time on it, and I know that because when I am in places with poor reception, or where I can't use it for some other reason, I find I am more energized. So perhaps, like me, you might also figure out if your little pocket computer is at all a problem for you (and I'm still looking for solutions myself).
posted by bluedaisy at 2:52 PM on March 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
One trick is to go one step at a time: I'm just going to put on yoga pants/whatever workout clothes; I'm just going to put on shoes; I'm just going to walk out the door; I'm just going to go around the block. I love talking on the phone, so if I can get someone on the phone for a long conversation, I'll just keep walking.
posted by pinochiette at 3:02 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by pinochiette at 3:02 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I don’t really believe that laziness, as such, exists—mostly I think laziness functions as a concept that lets people beat up on others (and themselves!) by misdirecting attention away from the true reasons a person isn’t doing a thing.
Just from your question, it sounds like there are many potential reasons you might not be popping out of your house for random activities:
- Maybe you are physically, mentally, and/or emotionally tired (from lack of sleep, from stress, from having a busy schedule, from getting older) and you need the rest.
- Maybe you don’t actually want to do random activities, you only feel like you should want to do them, and that is demotivating.
- Or, maybe you are more goal-oriented and random wandering is not for you. Maybe you need more specific things you want to accomplish in these moments, or to schedule/chain your errands to other activities to accomplish them as seamlessly as possible.
- Or, maybe “popping out for whatever” is really a proxy for wanting a sense of spontaneity in your life more generally, or to not be so scheduled/overwhelmed with stressful obligations, and it’s not really about randomly going outside three times per week. Maybe the answer to that one isn’t to try to make yourself do more, but to figure out how to do less.
- Maybe you have some amount of executive dysfunction, or maybe you use up all of your executive function on your scheduled/necessary tasks, leaving you less able to take on additional activities.
- Maybe there are barriers to leaving the house or to physical exertion (these seem to be the two big sticking points) that you haven’t identified and thus haven’t been able to problem solve. Are your clothes just a little too uncomfortable? Do you dislike your neighborhood? Are you making yourself walk too quickly either consciously (because you’re so busy) or unconsciously (because it’s your default), and therefore tooling around randomly is not as pleasant as it could be? Do you have allergies that make being outside irritating? Do you live with people you don’t want to leave?
All of these are just me spitballing—my point is, I think you need to do some more self-reflection about what this goal means to you and what nitty-gritty things might be in your way. I think it will be more beneficial to get really specific so you can then problem-solve, rather than try to brute force yourself out of the house because stillness at home means you are a “slug.” (You’re not a slug!!)
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 3:34 PM on March 17, 2022 [29 favorites]
Just from your question, it sounds like there are many potential reasons you might not be popping out of your house for random activities:
- Maybe you are physically, mentally, and/or emotionally tired (from lack of sleep, from stress, from having a busy schedule, from getting older) and you need the rest.
- Maybe you don’t actually want to do random activities, you only feel like you should want to do them, and that is demotivating.
- Or, maybe you are more goal-oriented and random wandering is not for you. Maybe you need more specific things you want to accomplish in these moments, or to schedule/chain your errands to other activities to accomplish them as seamlessly as possible.
- Or, maybe “popping out for whatever” is really a proxy for wanting a sense of spontaneity in your life more generally, or to not be so scheduled/overwhelmed with stressful obligations, and it’s not really about randomly going outside three times per week. Maybe the answer to that one isn’t to try to make yourself do more, but to figure out how to do less.
- Maybe you have some amount of executive dysfunction, or maybe you use up all of your executive function on your scheduled/necessary tasks, leaving you less able to take on additional activities.
- Maybe there are barriers to leaving the house or to physical exertion (these seem to be the two big sticking points) that you haven’t identified and thus haven’t been able to problem solve. Are your clothes just a little too uncomfortable? Do you dislike your neighborhood? Are you making yourself walk too quickly either consciously (because you’re so busy) or unconsciously (because it’s your default), and therefore tooling around randomly is not as pleasant as it could be? Do you have allergies that make being outside irritating? Do you live with people you don’t want to leave?
All of these are just me spitballing—my point is, I think you need to do some more self-reflection about what this goal means to you and what nitty-gritty things might be in your way. I think it will be more beneficial to get really specific so you can then problem-solve, rather than try to brute force yourself out of the house because stillness at home means you are a “slug.” (You’re not a slug!!)
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 3:34 PM on March 17, 2022 [29 favorites]
Yeah I have no idea how to better force myself to do things I don't actually want to do. I'm wondering if the trick is actually finding something you DO enjoy that gets you out and about. Like on some days, I'll happily go for a 2 hour bike ride, but you couldn't pay me to take a walk around the block. I haaaaate walking.
Some tricks that worked for me have made getting out more enjoyable when they feel lackluster -
* Rewarding myself - whether it's with a sweet treat or drink, or going into a shop I love. Also adding in generally more enjoyable things to my outing: recently I had to drop off a ballot which sounded so boring to me, but I layered it in between checking out my cute local library and looking for a jean jacket at the thrift store, and that made everything more fun.
* For exercise - buying new clothes that I am EXCITED to put on and that I feel good in. I'm not ashamed to say that this reason has gotten my butt on my bike many, many times.
* This is obviously more of a challenge, but identifying activities you enjoy to get you outside is key. I love using wintertime to sign up for random classes. A lot of studios will do taster classes or first-time pricing. Maybe browse through your local community / rec center's class catalog, community college classes, or local gyms / studios for ideas? Having to sign up for an actual structured class is good for accountability.
And on preview, reading CtrlAltDelete- totally agree 100% that random wandering is not my jam and having a goal oriented outing suits me much more! Great insight!! Perhaps you are the same!
posted by blueberrypuffin at 3:37 PM on March 17, 2022
Some tricks that worked for me have made getting out more enjoyable when they feel lackluster -
* Rewarding myself - whether it's with a sweet treat or drink, or going into a shop I love. Also adding in generally more enjoyable things to my outing: recently I had to drop off a ballot which sounded so boring to me, but I layered it in between checking out my cute local library and looking for a jean jacket at the thrift store, and that made everything more fun.
* For exercise - buying new clothes that I am EXCITED to put on and that I feel good in. I'm not ashamed to say that this reason has gotten my butt on my bike many, many times.
* This is obviously more of a challenge, but identifying activities you enjoy to get you outside is key. I love using wintertime to sign up for random classes. A lot of studios will do taster classes or first-time pricing. Maybe browse through your local community / rec center's class catalog, community college classes, or local gyms / studios for ideas? Having to sign up for an actual structured class is good for accountability.
And on preview, reading CtrlAltDelete- totally agree 100% that random wandering is not my jam and having a goal oriented outing suits me much more! Great insight!! Perhaps you are the same!
posted by blueberrypuffin at 3:37 PM on March 17, 2022
Best answer: I just have extremely little inclination, no innate energy or 'bounce'.
I'm not sure anyone past the age of 25 has innate energy or bounce - I think you get it from being active. Maybe the reason you don't feel like exercising (including just going to the shops) is because you don't do any exercise, so even a small amount feels taxing.
Telling yourself that you're innately someone who will never enjoy being active is probably not helping motivate you. Realising that if you can stick it for a relatively short time, it'll get easier, makes it much easier to get through that first phase of building energy and stamina (and I'm also not talking about marathons, just doing regular stuff requires energy and stamina that has to be built up, too).
One of the cool things about exercising is that the more you do it, the easier it gets. In reality, often people just end up increasing the amount or intensity of exercise that they do, so it always feels borderline tough, but that doesn't have to be what you do. Getting to a point where a 30 minute brisk walk every day (or whatever) is physically pleasant and therefore much easier to get out the door for, is achievable and sustainable and will have a payoff in your wider energy levels the rest of the time, so that the random library/shopping trips are less of a big deal.
I know myself that I don't walk a huge amount (though I do other exercise) and often find it borderline unpleasant. But if for whatever reason I walk more often over a period of time, I suddenly realise it's ceased to be unpleasant. Similarly, when I'm running regularly, there's often a threshold of fitness below which every 5K is a struggle. But then you hit a point where it's just... fine. And it's a great relief.
It's a bit of a catch 22 - right now you're on the wrong end of a vicious circle. You don't exercise, therefore your threshold for finding physical activity fine is on the floor.
So how do you turn it around? It feels like part of what you're missing is the faith that by just getting on and doing it regularly, it will actually get better of its own accord and won't always be miserable. You then just need to get yourself through those first few weeks of doing it regularly and then it gets easier. Exericse by appointment is one way to push your way through that phase - join a group, or arrange to meet friends, at the same time every week, so that it ceases to be a choice, it's just what you do at 6pm on Wednesday.
But also, maybe other posters are right that your life is just so busy that no wonder you don't have any spare energy.
posted by penguin pie at 3:38 PM on March 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
I'm not sure anyone past the age of 25 has innate energy or bounce - I think you get it from being active. Maybe the reason you don't feel like exercising (including just going to the shops) is because you don't do any exercise, so even a small amount feels taxing.
Telling yourself that you're innately someone who will never enjoy being active is probably not helping motivate you. Realising that if you can stick it for a relatively short time, it'll get easier, makes it much easier to get through that first phase of building energy and stamina (and I'm also not talking about marathons, just doing regular stuff requires energy and stamina that has to be built up, too).
One of the cool things about exercising is that the more you do it, the easier it gets. In reality, often people just end up increasing the amount or intensity of exercise that they do, so it always feels borderline tough, but that doesn't have to be what you do. Getting to a point where a 30 minute brisk walk every day (or whatever) is physically pleasant and therefore much easier to get out the door for, is achievable and sustainable and will have a payoff in your wider energy levels the rest of the time, so that the random library/shopping trips are less of a big deal.
I know myself that I don't walk a huge amount (though I do other exercise) and often find it borderline unpleasant. But if for whatever reason I walk more often over a period of time, I suddenly realise it's ceased to be unpleasant. Similarly, when I'm running regularly, there's often a threshold of fitness below which every 5K is a struggle. But then you hit a point where it's just... fine. And it's a great relief.
It's a bit of a catch 22 - right now you're on the wrong end of a vicious circle. You don't exercise, therefore your threshold for finding physical activity fine is on the floor.
So how do you turn it around? It feels like part of what you're missing is the faith that by just getting on and doing it regularly, it will actually get better of its own accord and won't always be miserable. You then just need to get yourself through those first few weeks of doing it regularly and then it gets easier. Exericse by appointment is one way to push your way through that phase - join a group, or arrange to meet friends, at the same time every week, so that it ceases to be a choice, it's just what you do at 6pm on Wednesday.
But also, maybe other posters are right that your life is just so busy that no wonder you don't have any spare energy.
posted by penguin pie at 3:38 PM on March 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
Best answer: I second blnkfrnk's thought that you could be tired, not lazy. I don't think of "lazy" as a useful word for myself. It's ok to be tired - so many of us are right now - and at least for me, calling myself "lazy" when I'm actually just pushed past my capacity is not helpful because it adds a layer of negative emotion on top of the problem.
Are you giving yourself entire days where you CAN just sit like a lump? If you aren't, and/or if you are spending the sedentary days berating yourself for not bopping around town, you are not giving yourself the mental and physical rest you need... which will make you feel more "lazy". What if you just took a couple weeks and planned to do nothing? What if your goal was to get *as few steps as possible* over the weekend instead of looking at your 6,000 step total and wishing for 10,000? Would you more energized after that and get the natural desire to do activities again? For me, if I give myself a break so that I'm actually *bored*, I start feeling those pings of energy and interest again. But it takes a while of nothing-ness.
Alternately: You didn't mention if you have adult ADD/ADHD - my partner does, and for him, a lack of ability to go on small jaunts/do activities is not laziness at all but is because transitions take a TON more energy and feel more unpleasant than they do for someone who doesn't have ADD. And because ADD is a spectrum of traits that almost everyone has in certain amounts, here's what works for him:
* Setting regular times to do activities, so it's a habit -- i.e. a walk every day after lunch
* Make the transition easier. What are all of the micro-steps that added up together make it seem boring and time-consuming? For example, do you hate putting on workout clothes? Can you go to sleep in your running clothes and roll out of bed, slip on shoes and go outside? Do you hate making breakfast before working out? Can you buy a bunch of packs of granola bars (with grocery delivery - no trip to the store), put a granola bar in the pocket of your workout pants and go?
* Find a podcast that you only listen to on a walk. (For me, I have fluffy TV shows that I only watch when I'm cooking or doing dishes. I now associate kitchen work with them and it makes it less painful. At this point I don't really enjoy watching the fluffy shows with 100% attention, I so associate them with background noise.)
* Reward yourself! Are you motivated by an amazing workout outfit, or great bluetooth speakers, or a nice cold-weather running jacket? Set an easily achievable goal, like if I go on a walk 3 times in the next 10 days I'll get that coat.
posted by rogerroger at 3:39 PM on March 17, 2022 [9 favorites]
Are you giving yourself entire days where you CAN just sit like a lump? If you aren't, and/or if you are spending the sedentary days berating yourself for not bopping around town, you are not giving yourself the mental and physical rest you need... which will make you feel more "lazy". What if you just took a couple weeks and planned to do nothing? What if your goal was to get *as few steps as possible* over the weekend instead of looking at your 6,000 step total and wishing for 10,000? Would you more energized after that and get the natural desire to do activities again? For me, if I give myself a break so that I'm actually *bored*, I start feeling those pings of energy and interest again. But it takes a while of nothing-ness.
Alternately: You didn't mention if you have adult ADD/ADHD - my partner does, and for him, a lack of ability to go on small jaunts/do activities is not laziness at all but is because transitions take a TON more energy and feel more unpleasant than they do for someone who doesn't have ADD. And because ADD is a spectrum of traits that almost everyone has in certain amounts, here's what works for him:
* Setting regular times to do activities, so it's a habit -- i.e. a walk every day after lunch
* Make the transition easier. What are all of the micro-steps that added up together make it seem boring and time-consuming? For example, do you hate putting on workout clothes? Can you go to sleep in your running clothes and roll out of bed, slip on shoes and go outside? Do you hate making breakfast before working out? Can you buy a bunch of packs of granola bars (with grocery delivery - no trip to the store), put a granola bar in the pocket of your workout pants and go?
* Find a podcast that you only listen to on a walk. (For me, I have fluffy TV shows that I only watch when I'm cooking or doing dishes. I now associate kitchen work with them and it makes it less painful. At this point I don't really enjoy watching the fluffy shows with 100% attention, I so associate them with background noise.)
* Reward yourself! Are you motivated by an amazing workout outfit, or great bluetooth speakers, or a nice cold-weather running jacket? Set an easily achievable goal, like if I go on a walk 3 times in the next 10 days I'll get that coat.
posted by rogerroger at 3:39 PM on March 17, 2022 [9 favorites]
I thought I was lazy in my 30s and I was very hypothyroid, for what it’s worth.
Also, I have never been able to bully myself into doing things out of a sense of obligation. If you don’t want to, don’t do extra stuff. But it might help to look at medium/long-term changes to aim for in your work and family life that will help adjust your balance, because it doesn’t sound like you have much breathing room right now.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 3:40 PM on March 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
Also, I have never been able to bully myself into doing things out of a sense of obligation. If you don’t want to, don’t do extra stuff. But it might help to look at medium/long-term changes to aim for in your work and family life that will help adjust your balance, because it doesn’t sound like you have much breathing room right now.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 3:40 PM on March 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
The way I get my daily activity is to make it a part of my routine. In the morning I walk my kids to the school bus, which is about 1km each way. Most days I'll commute to work by bicycle which is 15km each way. So "just" by doing that I've walked 2km and cycled 30km. I don't have a choice about walking my kids but if the weather is too bad or I'm not feeling like it I'll take the bus to work instead of cycling with zero guilt, although very often by the end of the day I'll think to myself that the weather wasn't so bad so maybe I should have rode in. I find that both of these help to de-stress me and I'm pretty sure that I'm more pleasant at work and home on the days I cycle.
There are a lot of reasons why cycling to work may not work. What if you got off public transport a couple of stops earlier and walked the rest of the way?
One other advantage of being out for a couple of hours every day means that the weather has to be really bad before I think it's bad enough not to go outside and do something. It's the same with my kids because they have to go out for recess every day so they're used to the weather in a way that adults that spend most of their time indoors are not so we'll be active on the weekends too. On the weekends I'll try to go out with my kids at least one of the days. In the winter this means things like skating, tobogganing or hiking, and when it's warmer then we may go for a bike ride or skateboarding (strangely enough my kids don't want to go biking in the winter) or just go to the park. The pandemic has helped this A LOT because it means there aren't birthday parties or other play dates that eat up the whole weekend. Sometimes my kids will go to a drop-in parkour class. The first time my son went I just watched and read a book but I saw that they offered adult classes at the same time so from the next time I started taking a lesson while they are doing theirs.
bluedaisy's comment about the phone is spot on in my experience. I can spend an hour on my phone without noticing. Granted this is usually at night when everyone else is asleep, but hey I never get enough sleep and could be sleeping then and I'm not.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:45 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
There are a lot of reasons why cycling to work may not work. What if you got off public transport a couple of stops earlier and walked the rest of the way?
One other advantage of being out for a couple of hours every day means that the weather has to be really bad before I think it's bad enough not to go outside and do something. It's the same with my kids because they have to go out for recess every day so they're used to the weather in a way that adults that spend most of their time indoors are not so we'll be active on the weekends too. On the weekends I'll try to go out with my kids at least one of the days. In the winter this means things like skating, tobogganing or hiking, and when it's warmer then we may go for a bike ride or skateboarding (strangely enough my kids don't want to go biking in the winter) or just go to the park. The pandemic has helped this A LOT because it means there aren't birthday parties or other play dates that eat up the whole weekend. Sometimes my kids will go to a drop-in parkour class. The first time my son went I just watched and read a book but I saw that they offered adult classes at the same time so from the next time I started taking a lesson while they are doing theirs.
bluedaisy's comment about the phone is spot on in my experience. I can spend an hour on my phone without noticing. Granted this is usually at night when everyone else is asleep, but hey I never get enough sleep and could be sleeping then and I'm not.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:45 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
I don’t feel 100% right about recommending this but an acquaintance of mine got a dog which compelled him to go out walking regularly for the first time in his life. The changes in his overall health and physique were profound. Obviously only something to do if all the other aspects of your life are in place to accommodate a cute, active animal.
posted by brachiopod at 4:05 PM on March 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by brachiopod at 4:05 PM on March 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
Have you tried Couch 2 5k? The NHS has an app and a podcast version. I followed the podcast version.
With little time outside of work to exercise, I became completely sedentary for five years. I was in my forties and could barely run for ten seconds when I started C25k. Two years later, I run 25-40k/per week. I've lost wait, gained core strength, brought my resting heart-rate down and feel a lot more better than I did before I started. I've cut right down on my drinking, I naturally crave healthier food, my head is clearer, I sleep better.
I thought I'd do C25k and stop once I'd reached the 5k goal. I never anticipated I'd get hooked on running but I have. All it takes is a few hours a week. If you haven't tried it, I thoroughly recommend running.
posted by popcassady at 4:53 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
With little time outside of work to exercise, I became completely sedentary for five years. I was in my forties and could barely run for ten seconds when I started C25k. Two years later, I run 25-40k/per week. I've lost wait, gained core strength, brought my resting heart-rate down and feel a lot more better than I did before I started. I've cut right down on my drinking, I naturally crave healthier food, my head is clearer, I sleep better.
I thought I'd do C25k and stop once I'd reached the 5k goal. I never anticipated I'd get hooked on running but I have. All it takes is a few hours a week. If you haven't tried it, I thoroughly recommend running.
posted by popcassady at 4:53 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Hey - I spent 4 or 5 years feeling like I was swimming through molasses. Everything was so hard. I just wanted to sit.
I finally went to a doctor and got blood work done and my thyroid was very low.
Now, with medication, I feel like myself again and am pretty energetic for my post-50 age.
Just wanted to toss this out there since I felt pretty miserable and didn’t need to - there was an easy fix.
posted by hilaryjade at 5:31 PM on March 17, 2022 [8 favorites]
I finally went to a doctor and got blood work done and my thyroid was very low.
Now, with medication, I feel like myself again and am pretty energetic for my post-50 age.
Just wanted to toss this out there since I felt pretty miserable and didn’t need to - there was an easy fix.
posted by hilaryjade at 5:31 PM on March 17, 2022 [8 favorites]
I particularly dislike that you wake up earlier than you have to. Totes unfair and of course it makes you tireder the rest of the day.
Extra unpleasant, but quick and indoors approach: indoors calisthenics, like weightlifting rather than cardio. You can get very physically tired quite quickly in your pajamas or undies, you can get much stronger, and one of the common side effects is sleeping more deeply. There have been Asks with lots of different recommendations for beginner, free home programs.
This is only some of what you want to fix, but it is the part that can get seriously worse if you ignore it - if you spend a year getting a bit stronger and better slept, the world might not seem like SUCH a hassle to pop out to.
posted by clew at 5:39 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Extra unpleasant, but quick and indoors approach: indoors calisthenics, like weightlifting rather than cardio. You can get very physically tired quite quickly in your pajamas or undies, you can get much stronger, and one of the common side effects is sleeping more deeply. There have been Asks with lots of different recommendations for beginner, free home programs.
This is only some of what you want to fix, but it is the part that can get seriously worse if you ignore it - if you spend a year getting a bit stronger and better slept, the world might not seem like SUCH a hassle to pop out to.
posted by clew at 5:39 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
I became very "lazy" in my early 30s and gained weight. Fat because lazy, lazy because fat, and miserable about both. My thyroid levels were "normal." Then my doc went on sabbatical. New doc LOOKED at me, and said "let's try you on a low dose of Synthroid." I'll never forget how it felt to wake up a few days later and feel RESTED.
Have you talked with your doctor about this?
posted by cyndigo at 5:59 PM on March 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
Have you talked with your doctor about this?
posted by cyndigo at 5:59 PM on March 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
The most important thing is to stop calling yourself lazy, because it’s a mean thing to say to someone who is incredibly stressed, over-scheduled, and doing the best they can with tasks they find unpleasant. I’ve had phases of my life like that. I didn’t get anything done. When they went away, the mental load of trying an exercise class or adding a chore to my list no longer felt insurmountable.
Based on what you’ve said, and assuming there is no underlying medical issue as mentioned by others, there are a few ways I can see that you might add more activity to your life with less self-nagging:
-Have an activity partner and agree to do something together. You get the reward of seeing a friend when you leave the house and have the weight of their expectation to push you.
-Get extra steps/chores done when you are already out of the house. Go to the gym on the way home from work. Collect essential and non-essential errands together and do them in a group. You’ve already done the least/pleasant part, just stay outside a little longer.
-Exercise at home, in whatever you are wearing right now. I do push-ups or crunches before bed, waiting for my toast to toast, or whenever I feel anxious about not doing some other task, and now I can lift big things and feel like the Hulk. There are also a million exercise videos on YouTube. No need to put on pants.
-I have a friend that made some amazing gains of aerobic health by getting high and dancing to music in their home. It was the only form of movement that gave them pleasure and didn’t come with a tape in their brain about being too fat and old. If there is a form of movement you like, reward yourself with that movement.
-Stupid rewards. Sometimes I put a Skittle next to my key bowl so I can eat that shit the second I get home from a thing I don’t want to do, like I am a potty training toddler, and I laugh at myself, but I *also* do the thing and triumphantly eat the Skittle. Internal motivation is for some other person.
posted by tchemgrrl at 7:03 PM on March 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
Based on what you’ve said, and assuming there is no underlying medical issue as mentioned by others, there are a few ways I can see that you might add more activity to your life with less self-nagging:
-Have an activity partner and agree to do something together. You get the reward of seeing a friend when you leave the house and have the weight of their expectation to push you.
-Get extra steps/chores done when you are already out of the house. Go to the gym on the way home from work. Collect essential and non-essential errands together and do them in a group. You’ve already done the least/pleasant part, just stay outside a little longer.
-Exercise at home, in whatever you are wearing right now. I do push-ups or crunches before bed, waiting for my toast to toast, or whenever I feel anxious about not doing some other task, and now I can lift big things and feel like the Hulk. There are also a million exercise videos on YouTube. No need to put on pants.
-I have a friend that made some amazing gains of aerobic health by getting high and dancing to music in their home. It was the only form of movement that gave them pleasure and didn’t come with a tape in their brain about being too fat and old. If there is a form of movement you like, reward yourself with that movement.
-Stupid rewards. Sometimes I put a Skittle next to my key bowl so I can eat that shit the second I get home from a thing I don’t want to do, like I am a potty training toddler, and I laugh at myself, but I *also* do the thing and triumphantly eat the Skittle. Internal motivation is for some other person.
posted by tchemgrrl at 7:03 PM on March 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
Best answer: You're not lazy - you're exhausted. The reason why "popping out to do the odd errand" is so hard is because your body is trying to tell you that the energy you are exerting trying to cope with the stressful things is costing you too much.
You seemed to have more energy in your 20s, you say - but I suspect you also had less stress. I swear to you, it's the stress. Just like it was with me - I was the same way, pushing myself through a long stressful period and wishing I had more energy for other things, but when I realized that it was the stress getting to me, I got to work on tackling that instead of trying to nag myself about "why can't I just go on a hike or something".
It worked for me, I suspect it will work for you. Make taking care of the stress your goal - and forgive yourself for BEING "lazy" while you do, it's your body's way of trying to catch some rest so it can cope with the stress. When that stress is toned down, and after you've let yourself rest a bit longer, some of that energy will come back, I promise (COVID aside, I've been doing very well for the past two years, and at age 52 AND with a broken knee I am regularly doing things like nature walks again).
Good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:44 PM on March 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
You seemed to have more energy in your 20s, you say - but I suspect you also had less stress. I swear to you, it's the stress. Just like it was with me - I was the same way, pushing myself through a long stressful period and wishing I had more energy for other things, but when I realized that it was the stress getting to me, I got to work on tackling that instead of trying to nag myself about "why can't I just go on a hike or something".
It worked for me, I suspect it will work for you. Make taking care of the stress your goal - and forgive yourself for BEING "lazy" while you do, it's your body's way of trying to catch some rest so it can cope with the stress. When that stress is toned down, and after you've let yourself rest a bit longer, some of that energy will come back, I promise (COVID aside, I've been doing very well for the past two years, and at age 52 AND with a broken knee I am regularly doing things like nature walks again).
Good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:44 PM on March 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
This is me, Autistic, age 56, just exhausted all the time. I have an appointment with my Dr. next month and I’ll ask her about some of those blood tests y’all mentioned above.
posted by matildaben at 8:06 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by matildaben at 8:06 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Do you live in an apartment or a house?
One thing that helps is to go outside every single day, no matter the weather, whether or not you are dressed or groomed at all. Somehow simply stepping outside at all makes it much easier to go out again, or go out the next day, and to go just a little farther. So if you have a balcony or a back door where you can shuffle outside in slippers with your coffee cup in one hand and hairy legs showing under the hem of your bathrobe, it will seem like a lot less of a thing to go out later, even if you actually have to put on a pair of pants, and real shoes. Just taking the garbage out to the bin, or getting mail from an outside mailbox regularly can make a huge difference in how much initiative it requires to go outside.
Territory is very important to us - most of us wouldn't dream of walking on an apartment building's lawn, or wandering into a business where we don't intend to spend money. It may be that your neighbourhood feels to you like it belongs to other people and you instinctively don't go out and challenge them. If you can take some ownership of your home's frontage that can encourage you to overcome the feeling that inside is where you belong and where you want to be. Doing things like watering pots of sunflowers lined up in front of your house, or sweeping the sidewalk, or picking up the trash can make you feel more possessive about outside and help with this.
Make smaller commitments to encourage yourself to go out. If you only go out when it will be four or more hours before you get home it will feel like a huge undertaking. Aim instead for a stroll around the block to get in practice of going out. Make it really easy, low effort. Don't start a strenuous exercise program - you have enough stamina burning activities in your life already.
Another thing that you can do is take a book or a podcast outside - it's not that much effort you only need to go as far as the nearest place you can sit down. Is your neighbourhood nice for walking? Are there trees and mud and birds and people walking friendly dogs? If there is only concrete, private property and people glaring at you daring to make contact you have good reason to not go outside. There's nothing there to make it pleasurable.
Nthing that lazy is another word for conserving your energy and resources.
posted by Jane the Brown at 8:15 PM on March 17, 2022 [8 favorites]
One thing that helps is to go outside every single day, no matter the weather, whether or not you are dressed or groomed at all. Somehow simply stepping outside at all makes it much easier to go out again, or go out the next day, and to go just a little farther. So if you have a balcony or a back door where you can shuffle outside in slippers with your coffee cup in one hand and hairy legs showing under the hem of your bathrobe, it will seem like a lot less of a thing to go out later, even if you actually have to put on a pair of pants, and real shoes. Just taking the garbage out to the bin, or getting mail from an outside mailbox regularly can make a huge difference in how much initiative it requires to go outside.
Territory is very important to us - most of us wouldn't dream of walking on an apartment building's lawn, or wandering into a business where we don't intend to spend money. It may be that your neighbourhood feels to you like it belongs to other people and you instinctively don't go out and challenge them. If you can take some ownership of your home's frontage that can encourage you to overcome the feeling that inside is where you belong and where you want to be. Doing things like watering pots of sunflowers lined up in front of your house, or sweeping the sidewalk, or picking up the trash can make you feel more possessive about outside and help with this.
Make smaller commitments to encourage yourself to go out. If you only go out when it will be four or more hours before you get home it will feel like a huge undertaking. Aim instead for a stroll around the block to get in practice of going out. Make it really easy, low effort. Don't start a strenuous exercise program - you have enough stamina burning activities in your life already.
Another thing that you can do is take a book or a podcast outside - it's not that much effort you only need to go as far as the nearest place you can sit down. Is your neighbourhood nice for walking? Are there trees and mud and birds and people walking friendly dogs? If there is only concrete, private property and people glaring at you daring to make contact you have good reason to not go outside. There's nothing there to make it pleasurable.
Nthing that lazy is another word for conserving your energy and resources.
posted by Jane the Brown at 8:15 PM on March 17, 2022 [8 favorites]
Kidding (but also a little bit not kidding), get a dog.
Obviously if you’re not a pet person and / or don’t have the time and resources and ability necessary to care for an animal, then of course don’t do this. But if you have the ability and are able to do so responsibly, having even a tiny dog forces you to be less sedentary. They need walking, and some playing-with, and a lot of them love going out in the snow to a degree that makes it something you start to look forward to also. And having a pet around to give you unconditional love and attention can really help relieve some stress.
Not sure if that’s an option for you (or if it should be - pets need a lot of care and commitment and it sounds like you already have a lot on your plate), but if you genuinely want to move more, having a cold wet nose pushed against your face first thing in the morning is a pretty good motivator.
posted by Mchelly at 8:42 PM on March 17, 2022
Obviously if you’re not a pet person and / or don’t have the time and resources and ability necessary to care for an animal, then of course don’t do this. But if you have the ability and are able to do so responsibly, having even a tiny dog forces you to be less sedentary. They need walking, and some playing-with, and a lot of them love going out in the snow to a degree that makes it something you start to look forward to also. And having a pet around to give you unconditional love and attention can really help relieve some stress.
Not sure if that’s an option for you (or if it should be - pets need a lot of care and commitment and it sounds like you already have a lot on your plate), but if you genuinely want to move more, having a cold wet nose pushed against your face first thing in the morning is a pretty good motivator.
posted by Mchelly at 8:42 PM on March 17, 2022
This Ask is relevant to my interests.
When I asked the energetic people I know about where that energy comes from, they respond with one of:
1) continuous flow of legal (or illegal) stimulants
2) a neurotic fear of being idle or having time to reflect
3) enthusiastic commitment to a life goal/purpose that deeply motivates and energizes them and compels them to stay in top mental and physical form to achieve it
When I asked people I know how they get around avoiding doing things they hate or resent, they respond:
1) detach from their feelings/emotions and just do it
2) focus on how great having done the task will feel (I call this the 'Harry Reasoner' approach; when asked if he enjoyed producing his 60 Minutes segments, the late CBS correspondent made a barely audible negative-sounding noise, paused and replied, "I do enjoy... having done them" )
3) consciously mute their negative internal monologue/avoid wallowing in their negative side
4) continuous flow of legal (or illegal) stimulants
posted by zaixfeep at 9:03 PM on March 17, 2022 [12 favorites]
When I asked the energetic people I know about where that energy comes from, they respond with one of:
1) continuous flow of legal (or illegal) stimulants
2) a neurotic fear of being idle or having time to reflect
3) enthusiastic commitment to a life goal/purpose that deeply motivates and energizes them and compels them to stay in top mental and physical form to achieve it
When I asked people I know how they get around avoiding doing things they hate or resent, they respond:
1) detach from their feelings/emotions and just do it
2) focus on how great having done the task will feel (I call this the 'Harry Reasoner' approach; when asked if he enjoyed producing his 60 Minutes segments, the late CBS correspondent made a barely audible negative-sounding noise, paused and replied, "I do enjoy... having done them" )
3) consciously mute their negative internal monologue/avoid wallowing in their negative side
4) continuous flow of legal (or illegal) stimulants
posted by zaixfeep at 9:03 PM on March 17, 2022 [12 favorites]
This is silly but it's been a positive thing for me: Pokemon Go.
For reasons, I put the app on my phone this past fall, and it is just the little extra incentive I need to go take a walk around the block most days. It's a silly game, you catch brightly colored cartoon monsters, you get in-game goodies by visiting certain locations. It gives you little missions (eg do a certain action three times). It's possible to get super into it and learn all about the detailed stuff but it's possible to just enjoy it as a chill but still motivating, "welp, gotta go out and get my pokestop spin for the day" thing.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:06 PM on March 17, 2022 [10 favorites]
For reasons, I put the app on my phone this past fall, and it is just the little extra incentive I need to go take a walk around the block most days. It's a silly game, you catch brightly colored cartoon monsters, you get in-game goodies by visiting certain locations. It gives you little missions (eg do a certain action three times). It's possible to get super into it and learn all about the detailed stuff but it's possible to just enjoy it as a chill but still motivating, "welp, gotta go out and get my pokestop spin for the day" thing.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:06 PM on March 17, 2022 [10 favorites]
You sound anxious. Anxiety manifests in weird ways; it's like water finding a way into your house and across a ceiling to drip in a seemingly unrelated spot.
posted by desuetude at 9:14 PM on March 17, 2022
posted by desuetude at 9:14 PM on March 17, 2022
This may be a weird suggestion, but if you have any interest in gaming, and don't mind spending some $, you may want to try getting a VR system and play Beat Saber, and Synth Rider - they are a ton of fun, and a pretty good workout, especially synth rider played in force mode where you get more points for really punching the notes. I feel pretty darn good when I play regularly. It would get you some exercise, help you blow off some steam and you don't have to get dressed and leave the house.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:38 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:38 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm overweight. Which is one of the reasons I'd like to be more active and also most likely one of the reasons I find it so unpleasant to be active. I average about 6k steps a day in the course of work and other mandatory activity.
I'm overweight. But I'm 40kg less overweight than I was last August when the person you describe being could easily have been me, except for the part about doing 6k steps per day. I was doing nowhere near that much moving because moving was such a fucking chore.
These days I'm doing much more. I've actually been going on regular 5km walks for fun, which is a fact I still find completely astonishing.
Doing explicit exercise while carrying enough extra weight to make just getting out of an armchair involve grunting and straining is just not fun, and trying to talk myself into believing that it was never did anything for me but push me further down the same rabbit hole of denial and non-self-acceptance that had had me stacking on the bodyfat for years in the first place.
So if you're looking for advice based on my experience, here it is: concentrate on implementing sustainable ways to get leaner before trying to push yourself further into deliberately chosen exercise, because (a) doing 6k steps per day while obese is already far more exercise than almost everybody gives it credit for and (b) the older you get, the more attention you'll need to pay to regulating your weight by modifying your eating habits, regardless of how much exercise you do as well. At 20, it's completely feasible and sometimes even pleasurable to stop bodyfat percentage drifting upward solely by building more exercise into each day. At 40+, not so much.
That second point is absolutely key. Modifying any habit is inevitably going to involve an increase in suffering, so you're far better off modifying them one at a time, ordered by which modifications are going to give you the best bodily bang for your suffering buck. That's the lazy way, and therefore the enlightened way. Laziness (in the sense of having an innate desire to minimize the work that needs to be done by everybody) is absolutely virtuous, and the self-flagellating Calvinist delusion that it is sinful is nothing short of perverse.
posted by flabdablet at 10:21 PM on March 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
I'm overweight. But I'm 40kg less overweight than I was last August when the person you describe being could easily have been me, except for the part about doing 6k steps per day. I was doing nowhere near that much moving because moving was such a fucking chore.
These days I'm doing much more. I've actually been going on regular 5km walks for fun, which is a fact I still find completely astonishing.
Doing explicit exercise while carrying enough extra weight to make just getting out of an armchair involve grunting and straining is just not fun, and trying to talk myself into believing that it was never did anything for me but push me further down the same rabbit hole of denial and non-self-acceptance that had had me stacking on the bodyfat for years in the first place.
So if you're looking for advice based on my experience, here it is: concentrate on implementing sustainable ways to get leaner before trying to push yourself further into deliberately chosen exercise, because (a) doing 6k steps per day while obese is already far more exercise than almost everybody gives it credit for and (b) the older you get, the more attention you'll need to pay to regulating your weight by modifying your eating habits, regardless of how much exercise you do as well. At 20, it's completely feasible and sometimes even pleasurable to stop bodyfat percentage drifting upward solely by building more exercise into each day. At 40+, not so much.
That second point is absolutely key. Modifying any habit is inevitably going to involve an increase in suffering, so you're far better off modifying them one at a time, ordered by which modifications are going to give you the best bodily bang for your suffering buck. That's the lazy way, and therefore the enlightened way. Laziness (in the sense of having an innate desire to minimize the work that needs to be done by everybody) is absolutely virtuous, and the self-flagellating Calvinist delusion that it is sinful is nothing short of perverse.
posted by flabdablet at 10:21 PM on March 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
1) continuous flow of legal (or illegal) stimulants
Going on a 5km walk is currently fun for me.
Going on a 5km walk after smoking a pipe of home-grown herb is considerably more fun.
posted by flabdablet at 10:27 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Going on a 5km walk is currently fun for me.
Going on a 5km walk after smoking a pipe of home-grown herb is considerably more fun.
posted by flabdablet at 10:27 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Great point, Flabdablet! I consider my laziness an my secret superpower - I'm always looking for ways to create shortcuts and get things done faster, now I have a reputation at work for being fast, it's kinda made my career. It's ok to be lazy! you are just optimizing your life. And the 6K steps you're putting in every day is good exercise, you should totally give yourself credit for that. There is evidence that acknowledging that the movement you do is exercise actually helps you get more benefit from it.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:39 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:39 PM on March 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you are in a position to do… pay for classes / personal training sessions etc. You can’t miss an activity that you paid for (and enjoy), right?
Alternatively, create a regularly scheduled social obligation (to meet up in person or to have a call while you both go for a walk).
Admittedly, the following worked better in pre-covid times, when I was working in an office 5 days per week, but I would capitalize on the law of inertia. I had a routine for different days of the week. On Mondays, for example, I went home -> work -> spin class -> grocery store -> home. In other words, I took advantage of already being out and about, and did not go home until I was done for the day… since once I’m home, realistically I’m not going back out for awhile. In addition, you might want to evaluate sticking points that make it harder for you to get out of “an object at rest remains at rest” stage. For instance, do you have enough matching socks?
Some folks swear by their Fitbit. You may also respond to gamification / having a “leveling up” goal.
posted by oceano at 11:45 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Alternatively, create a regularly scheduled social obligation (to meet up in person or to have a call while you both go for a walk).
Admittedly, the following worked better in pre-covid times, when I was working in an office 5 days per week, but I would capitalize on the law of inertia. I had a routine for different days of the week. On Mondays, for example, I went home -> work -> spin class -> grocery store -> home. In other words, I took advantage of already being out and about, and did not go home until I was done for the day… since once I’m home, realistically I’m not going back out for awhile. In addition, you might want to evaluate sticking points that make it harder for you to get out of “an object at rest remains at rest” stage. For instance, do you have enough matching socks?
Some folks swear by their Fitbit. You may also respond to gamification / having a “leveling up” goal.
posted by oceano at 11:45 PM on March 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
I had a real hard time get launched back into the world this year and what works/is working for me to make sure I make movement part of my day was to start by making it something I would lose if I didn't go for a walk or be more active
Stepbet. Stepbet is sort of gaming thing that uses a fitbit/apple watch/that sort of thing. You literally bet money, usually about $40 and enter a contest -- the ones I've been in are 4-6 weeks. Stepbet assigns you a number of steps to reach based on how many steps you do currently and at the end of the contest, people left in it split the pool. If you join another contest after that, your assigned steps will go up. I don't want to lose $40 so that's motivating to me. I'm sort of growing out of this because I started in January and it really did working to get me moving and now need less of this push and also my steps are a bit too high to be ina contest for -- like I'm moving about on my own wihtout having to have the added push of not wanting to lose $40.
Beeminder. This is also goal-setting thing where you set your own goal and again, lose money if you don't do it. I set a goal to do strength training 5 times a week and if I don't do it, I lose $5. I make the rules tho, so I totally give myself credit for a 5 minute workout because I just care about moving a little bit more than the zero I had been moving.
I also paid for a year of an online workout thing that lets me search classes by time, like I'm really into a five or 10 minute class and signed up for a year of a dance party thing that also has 10-minute options. Committing to a 60-minute class is not something I want or am able to do right now.
I'm just really trying to set myself up with tools that are handy and easy to use to make me a bit healthier and happier and I also don't want to lose $ -- negative stuff to avoid is something that works better for me right now.
posted by katinka-katinka at 1:24 AM on March 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Stepbet. Stepbet is sort of gaming thing that uses a fitbit/apple watch/that sort of thing. You literally bet money, usually about $40 and enter a contest -- the ones I've been in are 4-6 weeks. Stepbet assigns you a number of steps to reach based on how many steps you do currently and at the end of the contest, people left in it split the pool. If you join another contest after that, your assigned steps will go up. I don't want to lose $40 so that's motivating to me. I'm sort of growing out of this because I started in January and it really did working to get me moving and now need less of this push and also my steps are a bit too high to be ina contest for -- like I'm moving about on my own wihtout having to have the added push of not wanting to lose $40.
Beeminder. This is also goal-setting thing where you set your own goal and again, lose money if you don't do it. I set a goal to do strength training 5 times a week and if I don't do it, I lose $5. I make the rules tho, so I totally give myself credit for a 5 minute workout because I just care about moving a little bit more than the zero I had been moving.
I also paid for a year of an online workout thing that lets me search classes by time, like I'm really into a five or 10 minute class and signed up for a year of a dance party thing that also has 10-minute options. Committing to a 60-minute class is not something I want or am able to do right now.
I'm just really trying to set myself up with tools that are handy and easy to use to make me a bit healthier and happier and I also don't want to lose $ -- negative stuff to avoid is something that works better for me right now.
posted by katinka-katinka at 1:24 AM on March 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I would start with a visit to your GP. Get a full blood panel to check your thyroid, liver and kidney, blood count, vitamin and mineral levels etc.
I was both hypothyroid and low in iron. Now my thyroid is under control, but my iron is still low. I'm currently in the process of trying to get that up.
There may be some supplements which would be helpful. For example, magnesium can help with anxiety; B vitamins can help with energy and stress. Check with your doctor.
I'm not a very active person, but I try to incorporate a small amount of exercise into my day. Usually a walk around the block on my lunch break or after work, or some exercises in front of the TV (squats and pelvic raises mainly).
posted by kinddieserzeit at 3:16 AM on March 18, 2022 [2 favorites]
I was both hypothyroid and low in iron. Now my thyroid is under control, but my iron is still low. I'm currently in the process of trying to get that up.
There may be some supplements which would be helpful. For example, magnesium can help with anxiety; B vitamins can help with energy and stress. Check with your doctor.
I'm not a very active person, but I try to incorporate a small amount of exercise into my day. Usually a walk around the block on my lunch break or after work, or some exercises in front of the TV (squats and pelvic raises mainly).
posted by kinddieserzeit at 3:16 AM on March 18, 2022 [2 favorites]
I started going for a walk every day, 20-60 minutes, a month or two ago. I didn’t find it difficult to start (so this bit isn’t much help to you) but I didn’t enjoy it. It was just something I knew I should do, because I barely left the house otherwise.
But over the past couple of weeks I’ve realised I actually look forward to it. It helps that the weather’s been a bit warmer (if not drier). But I realised I see the walks almost as a relaxing time, not just an exercise time. The rest of the day I’m working, reading, cooking, eating, watching TV, doing chores… either doing stuff or taking things in. I never just stop and do nothing.
But when I’m walking it’s the only time I don’t have to do anything, except walk. I might listen to a podcast - it’s the only time I ever do - but I might not, and I might not take any of it in anyway. That’s fine. It’s nice to just get out, get away from the house, have a break from the doing.
So, that might not help with the getting started, but it might help as a way to frame what it is that a daily walk could be.
posted by fabius at 3:43 AM on March 18, 2022 [4 favorites]
But over the past couple of weeks I’ve realised I actually look forward to it. It helps that the weather’s been a bit warmer (if not drier). But I realised I see the walks almost as a relaxing time, not just an exercise time. The rest of the day I’m working, reading, cooking, eating, watching TV, doing chores… either doing stuff or taking things in. I never just stop and do nothing.
But when I’m walking it’s the only time I don’t have to do anything, except walk. I might listen to a podcast - it’s the only time I ever do - but I might not, and I might not take any of it in anyway. That’s fine. It’s nice to just get out, get away from the house, have a break from the doing.
So, that might not help with the getting started, but it might help as a way to frame what it is that a daily walk could be.
posted by fabius at 3:43 AM on March 18, 2022 [4 favorites]
After a good few years of not exercising, I started a workout program that puts out a daily 15 minute workout (and there’s a library of 5 minute “hacks” for days when even 15 minutes is not going to happen). Minimal equipment - I don’t even put on shoes. I did get myself a nice mat, and I find that makes a difference (my crappy previous mat that didn’t have a nice feel and slid around was a demotivator). Now I get up, drink a glass of water, and put in my 15 minutes before doing anything else.
I have been so happy to find that is enough for me (late 40s female) to maintain a fitness level that allows me to tackle other physical activities when they randomly present themselves. It also prevents the aches and pains that come with a mostly sedentary life (my hips in particular bother me when I’m inactive). It doesn’t help with sleep the way longer more intense exercise does for me, but I’ll take what I can get.
My particular program is MommaStrong. I think it would be great for anyone with female anatomy (there’s an affiliated program, PoppaString, for those with male anatomy). It’s totally focused on functionality and appreciating your body for what it can do and appreciating exercise for what it can do for your body and mind. There’s zero talk about appearance or continually pushing yourself to do more. I highly recommend it (or some other functionally oriented short video workout program).
posted by Kriesa at 4:10 AM on March 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
I have been so happy to find that is enough for me (late 40s female) to maintain a fitness level that allows me to tackle other physical activities when they randomly present themselves. It also prevents the aches and pains that come with a mostly sedentary life (my hips in particular bother me when I’m inactive). It doesn’t help with sleep the way longer more intense exercise does for me, but I’ll take what I can get.
My particular program is MommaStrong. I think it would be great for anyone with female anatomy (there’s an affiliated program, PoppaString, for those with male anatomy). It’s totally focused on functionality and appreciating your body for what it can do and appreciating exercise for what it can do for your body and mind. There’s zero talk about appearance or continually pushing yourself to do more. I highly recommend it (or some other functionally oriented short video workout program).
posted by Kriesa at 4:10 AM on March 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
I'm by default a very sedentary person (two of my favourite things to do in this life are sitting down and lying down) and I work a remote desk job that has me sitting down inside my own home all day, followed by mostly sedentary hobbies that have me sitting down inside my own home all evening too.
At the same time, I have some musculoskeletal issues (hypermobility, various old injuries) that really benefit from at least some level of regular activity. If I don't keep stretching out my calves & hamstrings regularly, my lower back gets out of whack to the point that it's hard to walk for even a few minutes without pain. And I've seen how old age went for the mostly-sedentary family members who've gone before me, and I feel pretty strongly that I want my body to be in better shape when I'm old than their bodies were. Those two things are enough of a motivator to keep me moving at least some, in spite of my work and my overall activity preferences.
One thing that's helped with the stretching aspect is to build it into moving around the house. I find the stairs a great place to stretch out my legs, and I work upstairs but the kitchen is downstairs, so I aim to stretch before going back upstairs when I go down to get water. Not every time (I drink a lot of water), but at least 1-2 times per day. I spent the whole winter sitting, not really stretching, not walking or moving enough, and since I've been getting more serious about stretching a couple of times a day again for the last two weeks or so, I've noticed a big improvement in pain and flexibility.
The other thing that's really helped is a multi-year (but somewhat inconsistent) commitment to weightlifting. I don't mean the barbell kind where you need equipment or to do it in public or someone to train you on form and spot you (because that would require leaving the house to exercise and having to do it in front of other people, neither of which are motivators for me), just basic dumbbell & bodyweight exercises that I can do at home. Since 2016 I've gone from working with a pair of 4kg dumbbells to a pair of 10kg dumbbells.
The gains seem to be cumulative - even when I let it slide for a month or six, I don't lose all of the progress I made and I see rapid new gains from coming back to it. I try to make it as easy on myself and on my body to do as possible - the dumbbells live within two metres of my work & hobby space, and a few times a day when I have a short break I do a few sets of a particular exercise. I'm not super precise about tracking what I'm doing or how many or making sure I cycle through different exercises, 'cause the goal is to get myself to do any activity at all, not to do it perfectly to someone else's standards. I also do it in a way that works for my body - I love lying down, and somehow it feels less arduous some days to lie on the floor and lift the weights over myself from that position than to do standing reps or squatting or whatever.
The other big benefit to weightlifting is that it's been steadily shifting my body composition towards muscle. I weigh basically the same as I did before I started lifting, but my body shape & the way clothes fit are pretty different now. I had zero weight loss goals going into it, all I wanted to do was build strength, but it's helped me feel better about the way my body looks as well as what it can do in ways I never expected.
I had to accept that I wasn't a cardio person and that I would never be motivated to do cardio however many times a week for however long you're supposed to; I had to find something I liked doing that didn't feel like an implicit punishment for my unruly body. I also had to accept the cardinal rule of moving more, which is that the best type of exercise for you is the kind that you actually do. We live in a very all-or-nothing society and sometimes it feels like if you're not running for 30 minutes or shredding for 90 days or whatever, you're not "really" working out, and that is a bullshit idea. I'm very heartened by all the recent research suggesting that even doing very small amounts of activity can be way better for you than doing nothing, and maybe as good (or almost as good) as doing the virtuous quantities of movement that naturally exercisey people promote.
posted by terretu at 5:17 AM on March 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
At the same time, I have some musculoskeletal issues (hypermobility, various old injuries) that really benefit from at least some level of regular activity. If I don't keep stretching out my calves & hamstrings regularly, my lower back gets out of whack to the point that it's hard to walk for even a few minutes without pain. And I've seen how old age went for the mostly-sedentary family members who've gone before me, and I feel pretty strongly that I want my body to be in better shape when I'm old than their bodies were. Those two things are enough of a motivator to keep me moving at least some, in spite of my work and my overall activity preferences.
One thing that's helped with the stretching aspect is to build it into moving around the house. I find the stairs a great place to stretch out my legs, and I work upstairs but the kitchen is downstairs, so I aim to stretch before going back upstairs when I go down to get water. Not every time (I drink a lot of water), but at least 1-2 times per day. I spent the whole winter sitting, not really stretching, not walking or moving enough, and since I've been getting more serious about stretching a couple of times a day again for the last two weeks or so, I've noticed a big improvement in pain and flexibility.
The other thing that's really helped is a multi-year (but somewhat inconsistent) commitment to weightlifting. I don't mean the barbell kind where you need equipment or to do it in public or someone to train you on form and spot you (because that would require leaving the house to exercise and having to do it in front of other people, neither of which are motivators for me), just basic dumbbell & bodyweight exercises that I can do at home. Since 2016 I've gone from working with a pair of 4kg dumbbells to a pair of 10kg dumbbells.
The gains seem to be cumulative - even when I let it slide for a month or six, I don't lose all of the progress I made and I see rapid new gains from coming back to it. I try to make it as easy on myself and on my body to do as possible - the dumbbells live within two metres of my work & hobby space, and a few times a day when I have a short break I do a few sets of a particular exercise. I'm not super precise about tracking what I'm doing or how many or making sure I cycle through different exercises, 'cause the goal is to get myself to do any activity at all, not to do it perfectly to someone else's standards. I also do it in a way that works for my body - I love lying down, and somehow it feels less arduous some days to lie on the floor and lift the weights over myself from that position than to do standing reps or squatting or whatever.
The other big benefit to weightlifting is that it's been steadily shifting my body composition towards muscle. I weigh basically the same as I did before I started lifting, but my body shape & the way clothes fit are pretty different now. I had zero weight loss goals going into it, all I wanted to do was build strength, but it's helped me feel better about the way my body looks as well as what it can do in ways I never expected.
I had to accept that I wasn't a cardio person and that I would never be motivated to do cardio however many times a week for however long you're supposed to; I had to find something I liked doing that didn't feel like an implicit punishment for my unruly body. I also had to accept the cardinal rule of moving more, which is that the best type of exercise for you is the kind that you actually do. We live in a very all-or-nothing society and sometimes it feels like if you're not running for 30 minutes or shredding for 90 days or whatever, you're not "really" working out, and that is a bullshit idea. I'm very heartened by all the recent research suggesting that even doing very small amounts of activity can be way better for you than doing nothing, and maybe as good (or almost as good) as doing the virtuous quantities of movement that naturally exercisey people promote.
posted by terretu at 5:17 AM on March 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
This seems to be obvious to many people, but it was a revelation as someone who spent their 20s depressed and anxious: when people talk about rewarding yourself, you have to actually throw yourself the party. I get a peanut butter cup after I do the dishes? Well, that's nice I guess, those are good, I know I like them. That was the plan, do dishes, eat peanut butter cup. Okay.
It does not function as a positive reinforcer (like literally, I don't start looking forward to them) unless I consciously think "nice!! I did the thing I didn't want to do, and now I am having a peanut butter cup, which tastes good, because I deserve it! For doing the boring task! I have done a good job! Good job, you get a peanut butter cup!!!"
I feel like a bozo, but that's because, as several people have mentioned, I only really learned how to bully myself into doing things. I think other people have an easier time understanding that rewards are rewards, but not this guy.
I don't always feel like doing it, but another bonus of getting a dog recently is that to teach her anything I have to praise her all the time whether I feel like it or not, so I'm getting the practice!
posted by heyforfour at 6:03 AM on March 18, 2022 [11 favorites]
It does not function as a positive reinforcer (like literally, I don't start looking forward to them) unless I consciously think "nice!! I did the thing I didn't want to do, and now I am having a peanut butter cup, which tastes good, because I deserve it! For doing the boring task! I have done a good job! Good job, you get a peanut butter cup!!!"
I feel like a bozo, but that's because, as several people have mentioned, I only really learned how to bully myself into doing things. I think other people have an easier time understanding that rewards are rewards, but not this guy.
I don't always feel like doing it, but another bonus of getting a dog recently is that to teach her anything I have to praise her all the time whether I feel like it or not, so I'm getting the practice!
posted by heyforfour at 6:03 AM on March 18, 2022 [11 favorites]
Lots of good practical advice here, but I'd just like to chip in to say again that what you've described is not laziness.
...if they do they are the result of me psyching myself up from the previous evening, chivvying and forcing and scolding myself continuously, setting three alarms on different alarm clocks in different parts of the bedroom, not allowing myself to even have a cup of tea before I leave the house because I know that once my butt hits the surface of a chair that's it, I'm not going anywhere.
isn't laziness, that's someone putting a huge amount of effort into forcing themselves to do something hard. That's the opposite of laziness.
I've linked it before and I'll link it again. Laziness Does Not Exist. It might help you think about this more constructively and with less self-recrimination.
posted by BlueNorther at 6:34 AM on March 18, 2022 [2 favorites]
...if they do they are the result of me psyching myself up from the previous evening, chivvying and forcing and scolding myself continuously, setting three alarms on different alarm clocks in different parts of the bedroom, not allowing myself to even have a cup of tea before I leave the house because I know that once my butt hits the surface of a chair that's it, I'm not going anywhere.
isn't laziness, that's someone putting a huge amount of effort into forcing themselves to do something hard. That's the opposite of laziness.
I've linked it before and I'll link it again. Laziness Does Not Exist. It might help you think about this more constructively and with less self-recrimination.
posted by BlueNorther at 6:34 AM on March 18, 2022 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: I really appreciate all the engagement, kindness, and consideration this question has got. Thank you all for your responses. I may have marked a few best answers, but please don't let that stop you from adding more :)
I didn't want to write my entire life story in the OP but I actually DO have a regular from-home exercise commitment (I am committed to it because I've paid for it plus I like the teacher and don't want to disappoint her). I don't love it or hate it; I've been doing it for 5 years with this teacher, I really like and trust her, but it has done basically nothing to change my baseline mode of 'disliking any unnecessary physical exertion to the point of avoidance'. I kind of count it alongside my mandatory activity such as walking to get to and around my work place or to fulfil my social obligations.
posted by unicorn chaser at 6:35 AM on March 18, 2022
I didn't want to write my entire life story in the OP but I actually DO have a regular from-home exercise commitment (I am committed to it because I've paid for it plus I like the teacher and don't want to disappoint her). I don't love it or hate it; I've been doing it for 5 years with this teacher, I really like and trust her, but it has done basically nothing to change my baseline mode of 'disliking any unnecessary physical exertion to the point of avoidance'. I kind of count it alongside my mandatory activity such as walking to get to and around my work place or to fulfil my social obligations.
posted by unicorn chaser at 6:35 AM on March 18, 2022
I forgot to add this to my answer - this may help you check in about your stress levels, it was what helped me realize that's what was going on with me.
Take this quiz - it's a list of life events, and you check off each one that you've been through within the past year. You get a set of points for each one; at the end of the quiz it tallies up your score of how much stress you've been through, and whether your score is below or above a certain number states how much stress you're going through. The thing that made me realize "oh, wait, I'm not depressed, I'm just TIRED" is that when I did this test, I scored WAY high and it was super-obvious.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:08 AM on March 18, 2022 [2 favorites]
Take this quiz - it's a list of life events, and you check off each one that you've been through within the past year. You get a set of points for each one; at the end of the quiz it tallies up your score of how much stress you've been through, and whether your score is below or above a certain number states how much stress you're going through. The thing that made me realize "oh, wait, I'm not depressed, I'm just TIRED" is that when I did this test, I scored WAY high and it was super-obvious.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:08 AM on March 18, 2022 [2 favorites]
Just my .02. About a year ago I did a Costanza. If you recall the episode of Seinfeld where George realizes his instincts are 100% wrong, so, he begins to do the exact opposite. Don't want to join a gym? Join a gym! Don't feel like walking the dog? Walk the dog! Need a gallon of milk for morning breakfast for the kids? Go get the milk! It may sound strange but it broke the torque of my stagnation. It started the flywheel in motion, which, has its own momentum now.
The other thing I did was consciously notice things. To really be present in the moment I was in. The details of life. There is such richness and depth in the world. Such sensory pleasures to be found. It brought to light so much joy in that it sparked curiosity. Walking the dog became listening to birds, looking for animal tracks, seeing plants sprout, finding newly hatched frogs, observing the return of the robins, noticing insects, imagining the area I live in 100 years prior.
This practice of noticing the outside world lead me to notice the inside world. Why was I doing what I was doing? Where did that reaction come from? What was I doing as compared to what I was being told to do? Was I doing enough to be a better partner and father? A lot of learning.
All in all, I am healthier and in a better headspace. I live in this moment and don't dwell on the past or future. I can only live one moment at a time so I don't burn emotional or intellectual fuel on things I cannot control anymore.
I wish you well.
posted by zerobyproxy at 7:57 AM on March 18, 2022 [6 favorites]
The other thing I did was consciously notice things. To really be present in the moment I was in. The details of life. There is such richness and depth in the world. Such sensory pleasures to be found. It brought to light so much joy in that it sparked curiosity. Walking the dog became listening to birds, looking for animal tracks, seeing plants sprout, finding newly hatched frogs, observing the return of the robins, noticing insects, imagining the area I live in 100 years prior.
This practice of noticing the outside world lead me to notice the inside world. Why was I doing what I was doing? Where did that reaction come from? What was I doing as compared to what I was being told to do? Was I doing enough to be a better partner and father? A lot of learning.
All in all, I am healthier and in a better headspace. I live in this moment and don't dwell on the past or future. I can only live one moment at a time so I don't burn emotional or intellectual fuel on things I cannot control anymore.
I wish you well.
posted by zerobyproxy at 7:57 AM on March 18, 2022 [6 favorites]
I can offer two tiny things.
1. I would have said there was nothing I could do to streamline my getting-out-of-the-house routine any further, and then I realised my walking shoes were so robust I could shove my feet into them without untying the laces and without needing to use my hands to assist. Hands-free putting on of shoes makes me much more willing to leave the house, and then I'm pleased with myself for having done it.
2. When I think of a thing I ought to do (go for a walk) and follow the thought with "not now" or "later", I try to ask myself what will change between now and later to make it more appealing to me then. The answer is often "nothing", which is enough to push me into doing it now. Doesn't work for things that really scare me, but is very useful for more minor things. And again, then I'm pleased with myself for having done it, which makes it easier for me to decide "OK, I'll do it now" the next time.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 8:33 AM on March 18, 2022 [4 favorites]
1. I would have said there was nothing I could do to streamline my getting-out-of-the-house routine any further, and then I realised my walking shoes were so robust I could shove my feet into them without untying the laces and without needing to use my hands to assist. Hands-free putting on of shoes makes me much more willing to leave the house, and then I'm pleased with myself for having done it.
2. When I think of a thing I ought to do (go for a walk) and follow the thought with "not now" or "later", I try to ask myself what will change between now and later to make it more appealing to me then. The answer is often "nothing", which is enough to push me into doing it now. Doesn't work for things that really scare me, but is very useful for more minor things. And again, then I'm pleased with myself for having done it, which makes it easier for me to decide "OK, I'll do it now" the next time.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 8:33 AM on March 18, 2022 [4 favorites]
You've gotten some great advice - just popping in to add one idea:
The Walk is an app made by the same people as Zombies Run! and can be fun if you're motivated by narrative story/game.
posted by tangosnail at 9:00 AM on March 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
The Walk is an app made by the same people as Zombies Run! and can be fun if you're motivated by narrative story/game.
posted by tangosnail at 9:00 AM on March 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
I know this has been said before but please do get a physical check up, including your thyroid. So many of us have thyroid problems for years. Getting that problem diagnosed and appropriately medicated was amazing for me. It had been so many years I had forgotten what normal was for me. And normal was a lot more energy after my thyroid problem was discovered. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 8:32 AM on March 19, 2022
posted by Bella Donna at 8:32 AM on March 19, 2022
Correcting the low Vitamin D level that my own bloodwork showed up was helpful for me as well. Noticeably more energy, and less musculoskeletal pain and brain fog.
Regular moderate exercise is excellent for overall health maintenance, but it can't fix things that aren't mainly due to a lack of it. If you're living with deficiency issues that bloodwork can identify, a lot of those can be fixed with medication and/or dietary changes and/or supplements, and going that way involves way less work than trying to fix them with exercise as well as having a better chance of actually doing so.
posted by flabdablet at 9:00 AM on March 19, 2022
Regular moderate exercise is excellent for overall health maintenance, but it can't fix things that aren't mainly due to a lack of it. If you're living with deficiency issues that bloodwork can identify, a lot of those can be fixed with medication and/or dietary changes and/or supplements, and going that way involves way less work than trying to fix them with exercise as well as having a better chance of actually doing so.
posted by flabdablet at 9:00 AM on March 19, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
I try to maintain a reasonable bedtime routine, but I generally wake up too early because I am stressed out all the time (cf work, family, life stuff beyond the realms of this question).
I think you need to look at 1) whatever is stressing you out, and 2) your mental health, and maybe 3) your sleep habits (which are probably related to 1 and 2.) I think you are tired, not lazy! And being less tired because you have less stress and can sleep better might make it easier to just go for a walk to the library or the shops or whatever. You may also still have depression, but manifesting differently than it used to-- it can change throughout your life.
You know what they say-- if you don't let yourself rest when you're tired, your body will choose a time to rest for you, and you may not like what it chooses. Honestly I would work on getting more rest and sleep and eliminating stress first, then work on finding something you want to walk over and do.
posted by blnkfrnk at 2:13 PM on March 17, 2022 [23 favorites]