How long did it take you to reduce/reframe intrusive thoughts?
February 20, 2022 6:25 AM Subscribe
I've been in therapy and on meds for many years, and while I'm better at handling intrusive thoughts, it is still a process every time, and it's an every single day sort of thing. I know it's unlikely they'll completely disappear, but has anyone actually managed to significantly reduce them, or had countering them become less of a chore? If so, what finally worked? Or is this what success just looks like re: intrusive thoughts?
I have a lot – A Lot – of intrusive thoughts that can quickly spiral if I try to ignore them or try to acknowledge and move on, vs. directly address. A good day it might have 2-3, a bad day, nearly nonstop. Therapy's given me techniques to deal with them, but after 8-10 years of actively working on it, I'm starting to wonder if it will ever truly improve.
I've had a lot of improvement in how I deal with them through therapy – instead of having one and then freaking out or spiraling or being convinced it's true, I can look at it and be like, nope. That's depression brain! Sometimes I can actually stop or redirect the thought entirely, while other times I may still get stuck, but at least I feel... aware of it? Like sitting down and watching one of my cats go bonkers over catnip, just waiting it out since I can't make it behave.
But I'm so tired. Just, every single day trying to patiently remind myself that no, I'm not the worst ever, everyone doesn't hate me, I'm not terrible at everything, and it wouldn't be nice to just not wake up (promise I'm not suicidal, it's just constant background noise).
Anyone that's had to deal with this – did it ever really quiet down? Or stop? Or become so automatic to counter those thoughts it wasn't such a big deal? If so, how long did it take you to get there? Was there something other than therapy that helped a lot? Or a specific type of therapy? Or is this just what success is supposed to look like when it comes to intrusive thoughts?
I have been in and out of therapy, mostly cbt and talk based, for the past 15 years, and tried 15+ different meds. I was diagnosed with depression, then bipolar 2. About 3 years ago, I got a diagnoses for ADHD primarily inattentive, so the bipolar might not be accurate. (The depression sure is though.)
Treating the ADHD has been the most helpful ever for getting me to actually function – shower, go to work, not drive around with expired plates for two years because I'll get to it tomorrow. We're still fine tuning that.
Currently I take lamictal, wellbutrin, and strattera. I'm pretty sure this is not a med side effect, as I have always, always been like this. I'm working on getting therapy, but it's slow going due to availability and money, and I don't know if I should be looking for a different kind.
I have a lot – A Lot – of intrusive thoughts that can quickly spiral if I try to ignore them or try to acknowledge and move on, vs. directly address. A good day it might have 2-3, a bad day, nearly nonstop. Therapy's given me techniques to deal with them, but after 8-10 years of actively working on it, I'm starting to wonder if it will ever truly improve.
I've had a lot of improvement in how I deal with them through therapy – instead of having one and then freaking out or spiraling or being convinced it's true, I can look at it and be like, nope. That's depression brain! Sometimes I can actually stop or redirect the thought entirely, while other times I may still get stuck, but at least I feel... aware of it? Like sitting down and watching one of my cats go bonkers over catnip, just waiting it out since I can't make it behave.
But I'm so tired. Just, every single day trying to patiently remind myself that no, I'm not the worst ever, everyone doesn't hate me, I'm not terrible at everything, and it wouldn't be nice to just not wake up (promise I'm not suicidal, it's just constant background noise).
Anyone that's had to deal with this – did it ever really quiet down? Or stop? Or become so automatic to counter those thoughts it wasn't such a big deal? If so, how long did it take you to get there? Was there something other than therapy that helped a lot? Or a specific type of therapy? Or is this just what success is supposed to look like when it comes to intrusive thoughts?
I have been in and out of therapy, mostly cbt and talk based, for the past 15 years, and tried 15+ different meds. I was diagnosed with depression, then bipolar 2. About 3 years ago, I got a diagnoses for ADHD primarily inattentive, so the bipolar might not be accurate. (The depression sure is though.)
Treating the ADHD has been the most helpful ever for getting me to actually function – shower, go to work, not drive around with expired plates for two years because I'll get to it tomorrow. We're still fine tuning that.
Currently I take lamictal, wellbutrin, and strattera. I'm pretty sure this is not a med side effect, as I have always, always been like this. I'm working on getting therapy, but it's slow going due to availability and money, and I don't know if I should be looking for a different kind.
Best answer: CBT didn't really help for me after a point. It got me to where you are and then I stalled out there. This is because rumination can have many root causes, and mine is largely a trauma response. I was diagnosed with cptsd and getting trauma therapy has significantly quieted down my rumination (which like you also includes suicidal ideation). I have done a combination of EMDR, family systems therapy, and emotion focused therapy weekly or twice weekly with a therapist who specializes in trauma for about 3 years now and was just recently thinking about how I don't get hooked into these patterns with my brain nearly as often as I used to. While my experience waxes and wanes (I still have hard times) the duration and frequency of those difficult times has greatly reduced.
I'm really proud of you for all the hard work you've done so far, and for continuing to push. This isn't easy work.
posted by twelve cent archie at 8:07 AM on February 20, 2022 [4 favorites]
I'm really proud of you for all the hard work you've done so far, and for continuing to push. This isn't easy work.
posted by twelve cent archie at 8:07 AM on February 20, 2022 [4 favorites]
My understanding is that these are a symptom of anxiety. I know for me they really ramp up during times of stress and are not present when I feel in control. I noticed that you haven't mentioned any specific treatment for anxiety. That might be a good angle to explore.
posted by bleep at 8:13 AM on February 20, 2022
posted by bleep at 8:13 AM on February 20, 2022
Oh and, CBT made my anxiety worse. It's a good thing to be aware of but it's not a root cause type of treatment.
posted by bleep at 8:21 AM on February 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by bleep at 8:21 AM on February 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
I started therapy out of desperation. I began to detect little flickers of change within a month, and in the 6-9 month range I really felt a difference. That difference, though, wasn't necessarily that the intrusive thoughts stopped coming (at the beginning). The difference was my approach to them, handling them with curiosity rather than panic and alarm. It might not sound like much but it madea huge difference in the quality of my life. Around the year mark I began to notice that the thoughts were subsiding in frequency and intensity. At around 1 year and 10 months, I could feel myself "letting go" of the material behind the intrusive thoughts, and now at a little over 3 years those intrusive thoughts arrive rarely and I feel much more well-equipped when they arrived (and for the next time in my life when uphevals overwhelm my coping skills).
In 2019, I started weekly acceptance and commitment (ACT) therapy and a daily mindfulness-meditation practice. 2018-2019 was... a very bad time in my life, and I'd become overwhelmed in a way that I'd never experienced (see my ask history if you need context). It was very frankly terrifying how little control I suddenly felt I had over my own mind. I became profoundly insomniac, to the point that I was having auditory hallucinations while awake. I was so distracted by intrusive thoughts while awake that I lost touch with everything that I'd ever been interested in, and turned hard to alcohol. I felt tortured by very strongly visual intrusive thoughts, and every song, location, friend, raindrop, sunbeam, gust of wind, you name it, they all had associations that felt like they triggered the intrusions. I ended up in the ER one night and was encouraged to find a therapist, which I'd never done in my life. I met with the first therapist who I could find and we were not a good fit. Ditto the second. But the third really resonated. He introduced me to a few modalities of therapy, mostly internal family systems and ACT. The former was really helpful and comforting with the arriving in therapy, and ACT really helped me get behind the wheel and learn how to drive myself through the process. I did weekly therapy for a year, and when I was in between those sessions I used an ACT workbook (and a whole lot of YouTube and audiobooks) to sort of keep my attention and sense of direction. After one year the pandemic began, and I felt ready to try to keep up my ACT mindset on my own. I still use the workbook, I still meditate, and when I need to I stil sit down with a notebook and a pen and I work through my situation with the tools I've learned about. I mean, I did this as recently as Tuesday of last week, so I still feel like I'm learning but I have enough of a baseline to feel less unmoored when difficulties arise.
I hope you can find some help in all this. I know I'm newer to therapy than you but, man, I do feel genuinely in awe that therapy--something that I kind of privately mocked for most of my life--is capable of helping so much when you find the right fit.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 9:59 AM on February 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
In 2019, I started weekly acceptance and commitment (ACT) therapy and a daily mindfulness-meditation practice. 2018-2019 was... a very bad time in my life, and I'd become overwhelmed in a way that I'd never experienced (see my ask history if you need context). It was very frankly terrifying how little control I suddenly felt I had over my own mind. I became profoundly insomniac, to the point that I was having auditory hallucinations while awake. I was so distracted by intrusive thoughts while awake that I lost touch with everything that I'd ever been interested in, and turned hard to alcohol. I felt tortured by very strongly visual intrusive thoughts, and every song, location, friend, raindrop, sunbeam, gust of wind, you name it, they all had associations that felt like they triggered the intrusions. I ended up in the ER one night and was encouraged to find a therapist, which I'd never done in my life. I met with the first therapist who I could find and we were not a good fit. Ditto the second. But the third really resonated. He introduced me to a few modalities of therapy, mostly internal family systems and ACT. The former was really helpful and comforting with the arriving in therapy, and ACT really helped me get behind the wheel and learn how to drive myself through the process. I did weekly therapy for a year, and when I was in between those sessions I used an ACT workbook (and a whole lot of YouTube and audiobooks) to sort of keep my attention and sense of direction. After one year the pandemic began, and I felt ready to try to keep up my ACT mindset on my own. I still use the workbook, I still meditate, and when I need to I stil sit down with a notebook and a pen and I work through my situation with the tools I've learned about. I mean, I did this as recently as Tuesday of last week, so I still feel like I'm learning but I have enough of a baseline to feel less unmoored when difficulties arise.
I hope you can find some help in all this. I know I'm newer to therapy than you but, man, I do feel genuinely in awe that therapy--something that I kind of privately mocked for most of my life--is capable of helping so much when you find the right fit.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 9:59 AM on February 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
These are indeed worsened with anxiety, but they are also part of life for many of us. I have given up on getting completely rid of them in life. What can happen is to reduce them and have a measure of peace for periods of time that may last months or even years.
I have had more success with DBT techniques than CBT, which increasingly just got to making me feel bad, as if I wasn't doing the homework in life. DBT offers a lot of direct techniques for short-circuiting the spirals in your thoughts.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:04 AM on February 20, 2022
I have had more success with DBT techniques than CBT, which increasingly just got to making me feel bad, as if I wasn't doing the homework in life. DBT offers a lot of direct techniques for short-circuiting the spirals in your thoughts.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:04 AM on February 20, 2022
My intrusive thoughts are mostly centered around people and how they are mean or horrible. I don't know what the answer is because I have had these thoughts centered around "problematic"people most of my adult life. I have less of these thoughts when I am actively engaged with the present and when I'm exercising regularly. It's vital to not have too much unstructured time. Unfortunately my default mode is to isolate and distract myself with reading when I'm depressed. It's interesting because I think I'm actually happy in these states. I can look forward to them and they are very comfortable. I believe life is good when I'm alone (nobody to get in conflict with or trigger me). Unfortunately, isolation and sitting reading does bad things to my brain. Reading about art or literature devolves into reading about the possible personality disorders of the person I despise. I find that my mental health is best when I have plans, goals, and routine. I am at my best when I am physically engaged in some sort of activity -- yoga, pickle ball, walking, painting, sewing, cooking, etc. and when I'm with friends I like and love. A day out with a friend gives me energy, optimism, and hope.
You might find this site helpful. I have. Undoing Depression. Much of it focuses on behaviors and the importance of good self-care.
posted by loveandhappiness at 10:18 AM on February 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
You might find this site helpful. I have. Undoing Depression. Much of it focuses on behaviors and the importance of good self-care.
posted by loveandhappiness at 10:18 AM on February 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
There’s CBT and then there’s CBT. Not all of it is created equal; some CBT techniques are less appropriate for particular diagnoses even if technically they all involve cognition and behavior.
If you’re having a lot of ego-dystonic intrusive thoughts that you feel compelled to address in order to get them to go away, and especially if previous therapy hasn’t helped that much, I might look up “pure O” OCD (technically a misnomer as it just means the compulsions are less overt or more mental, and also not really a separate “type” of OCD from a treatment perspective — however as a search term you may find some experiences that resonate more than the OCD stereotype). OCD can also mimic inattentive ADHD according to some researchers, since it is so depleting to deal with constant intrusive thoughts. If it is actually OCD, therapy can be hugely helpful and recovery is possible, but therapy has to be pretty specific (ERP). I might take a look at Dr. Michael Greenberg’s posts also, he has a really interesting perspective here.
I have personally found ACT really, really helpful as well. I’ll note that if it does sound more like OCD, there seems to be some controversy where some practitioners do not recommend ACT while others find it an essential tool. I’m not a therapist or anything but I guess my advice would be to just look for specific experience with treating OCD (not just “I had one patient with it”), using ERP (with or without other stuff), and producing good outcomes (you should expect to struggle WAY less and to no longer feel like you’re constantly fighting your brain).
posted by en forme de poire at 12:48 PM on February 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
If you’re having a lot of ego-dystonic intrusive thoughts that you feel compelled to address in order to get them to go away, and especially if previous therapy hasn’t helped that much, I might look up “pure O” OCD (technically a misnomer as it just means the compulsions are less overt or more mental, and also not really a separate “type” of OCD from a treatment perspective — however as a search term you may find some experiences that resonate more than the OCD stereotype). OCD can also mimic inattentive ADHD according to some researchers, since it is so depleting to deal with constant intrusive thoughts. If it is actually OCD, therapy can be hugely helpful and recovery is possible, but therapy has to be pretty specific (ERP). I might take a look at Dr. Michael Greenberg’s posts also, he has a really interesting perspective here.
I have personally found ACT really, really helpful as well. I’ll note that if it does sound more like OCD, there seems to be some controversy where some practitioners do not recommend ACT while others find it an essential tool. I’m not a therapist or anything but I guess my advice would be to just look for specific experience with treating OCD (not just “I had one patient with it”), using ERP (with or without other stuff), and producing good outcomes (you should expect to struggle WAY less and to no longer feel like you’re constantly fighting your brain).
posted by en forme de poire at 12:48 PM on February 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
I have recently made great strides (much to my therapist’s surprise) by systematically declawing all of the painful thoughts that my brain liked to inflict at random. It has not dealt with the underlying problem of why my brain likes torturing me, but it has made life infinitely more livable while I work on that.
Here is a typical internal conversation:
Me: "You accidentally cut in line and the people behind you let you know."
Also Me: "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO SELF-CENTERED HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT PAY ATTENTION AND SCREW UP LIKE THAT. THOSE PEOPLE ARE NOW TALKING ABOUT THAT WORTHLESS PERSON WHO CUT IN FRONT OF THEM. I SHOULD NEVER GO OUT AGAIN!”
As you can see it is quite operatic. The thought is not really that disruptive — the response is ridiculously overblown and upsetting.
So I have taken to short circuiting the response. For me particularly, ridiculing the response has worked very well. New conversation:
Me: "You accidentally cut in line and the people behind you let you know."
Also Me: "HE’S A WITCH! BURN HIM! BURN HIM! HE’S A WITCH!”
It takes a few times but when my brain realizes that that particular memory is no longer distressing me but rather making me giggle, it removes it from the rotation.
It did take a long time to get through the incredibly prodigious list of painful memories my brain had tucked away. On the other hand the later stages have been entertaining as my brain has long run out of A-list material and is now bringing up the time I played a poor round of miniature golf with Susan Gilson in the second grade.
In any case the whole process has been a boon. YMMV.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:21 PM on February 20, 2022 [5 favorites]
Here is a typical internal conversation:
Me: "You accidentally cut in line and the people behind you let you know."
Also Me: "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO SELF-CENTERED HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT PAY ATTENTION AND SCREW UP LIKE THAT. THOSE PEOPLE ARE NOW TALKING ABOUT THAT WORTHLESS PERSON WHO CUT IN FRONT OF THEM. I SHOULD NEVER GO OUT AGAIN!”
As you can see it is quite operatic. The thought is not really that disruptive — the response is ridiculously overblown and upsetting.
So I have taken to short circuiting the response. For me particularly, ridiculing the response has worked very well. New conversation:
Me: "You accidentally cut in line and the people behind you let you know."
Also Me: "HE’S A WITCH! BURN HIM! BURN HIM! HE’S A WITCH!”
It takes a few times but when my brain realizes that that particular memory is no longer distressing me but rather making me giggle, it removes it from the rotation.
It did take a long time to get through the incredibly prodigious list of painful memories my brain had tucked away. On the other hand the later stages have been entertaining as my brain has long run out of A-list material and is now bringing up the time I played a poor round of miniature golf with Susan Gilson in the second grade.
In any case the whole process has been a boon. YMMV.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:21 PM on February 20, 2022 [5 favorites]
Best answer: In my experience, corrective emotional experiences have been the only way to permanently rob my intrusive thoughts of their power. CBT caused a lot of shame and emotional repression in me: like, telling myself that
but that doesn't help me feel better, oh no, I'm still feeling like shit YIKES, QUICK, PUT ON A HAPPY FACE AND LIE TO THE THERAPIST THAT I AM FINE IT'S FINE EVERYTHING'S FINE.
Then I went to a psychodynamic therapist, and after about 18 months of nonstop weekly whining, when I had the same intrusive thoughts, I'd still first tell myself
Around about 2.5 years of psychodynamic therapy, my thought pattern had become,
And you know, this new train of thought, I'm totally right about it. Therapy is weird and bullshit. When it works, it doesn't work in any rational way at all. It's complete mumbo jumbo. It's like, there was the "therapy" which involved talking about things in a normal and reasonable way, and then, along with it, a witchcrafty voodoo ~energy~ un-named un-nameable thing that was happening on some other ghostly dimension which was the part that actually fixed me.
IDK about you, but that's how it worked for me. If it's been 8 or 10 years for you with no respite in your depression symptoms, it sounds to me like maybe you should talk to your therapist about trying something different that might help? Or perhaps consider if it's time for you to move on to a new therapist?
posted by MiraK at 1:30 PM on February 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
> nope. That's depression brain!has *never* helped, not even once, and for as long as I believed that it ought to work, I was sabotaging myself. It was like, okay, I cognitively and intellectually know this is bullshit...
Then I went to a psychodynamic therapist, and after about 18 months of nonstop weekly whining, when I had the same intrusive thoughts, I'd still first tell myself
> nope. That's depression brain!but then, it wasn't just that "rational" thought admonishing me all by itself. Along with it, I also had all these accumulated memories of conversations with my psychodynamic therapist that went like,
ME: I'm always trying to tell myself that "nope. That's depression brain!" but it never works! Argh! I am so stupid, you must think I'm hopeless.We had this exact conversation so. many. times. over and over that now I had this new default association, a new train of thought, so that my NEW intrusive thought pattern became:
THERAPIST: I see, so, what happened was, you were in the thick of some very painful feelings. And it didn't help to say to yourself, "Eh, snap out of it."
ME: LOL you're just being nice. I know you're sick of having me in here whining about the same damn thing every week. It's okay, I'd be sick of me too. I *am* sick of me. You can be honest.
THERAPIST: For the record, it's the opposite, you're engaged, you take therapy seriously, and I think we do excellent work here every week. But I wonder where you got the idea that people are sick of you.... [segue into other shit]
> [have an intrusive thought] .... nope. That's depression brain! ..... I know, I know, I'm so sick of myself. And I even know why think I'm so sick of myself. It's because [of this other shit], ugh, I'm truly hopeless lol...Which, if you notice, even just verbally was much less attacking towards myself than the previous thought pattern (though not totally benign), and certainly less self-sabotaging. There was also a definitely less toxic TONE in what I was saying to myself, probably because of the repeated corrective emotional experience of having someone respond warmly and helpfully to me when I was being, in my eyes, such a whiny piece of shit. That corrective emotional experience helped to shift the painful *emotional* pattern that underlay the conscious intrusive thoughts.
Around about 2.5 years of psychodynamic therapy, my thought pattern had become,
> [have an intrusive thought] .... nope. That's depression brain! Ugh, right, like telling myself that has ever worked. [Therapist] sure would laugh at that. Ugh that laugh is so fucking annoying, like, bitch, if you want to laugh at me, fucking LAUGH at me, don't be all ~careful~ and make it ~kind~, who laughs at someone in a kind way, how does that even work, therapy is such bullshit, I don't know how the fuck it's helping me, I must be crazy....... so, you know, I had magically broken out of my depression spiral. Not because I had suddenly become more rational, but because some unknown emotional weight had been mysteriously lifted, and new emotional patterns had formed, and because of that, the intrusive thoughts had no emotional power over me anymore.
And you know, this new train of thought, I'm totally right about it. Therapy is weird and bullshit. When it works, it doesn't work in any rational way at all. It's complete mumbo jumbo. It's like, there was the "therapy" which involved talking about things in a normal and reasonable way, and then, along with it, a witchcrafty voodoo ~energy~ un-named un-nameable thing that was happening on some other ghostly dimension which was the part that actually fixed me.
IDK about you, but that's how it worked for me. If it's been 8 or 10 years for you with no respite in your depression symptoms, it sounds to me like maybe you should talk to your therapist about trying something different that might help? Or perhaps consider if it's time for you to move on to a new therapist?
posted by MiraK at 1:30 PM on February 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
To answer your question "is this as good as it gets?" No: absolutely not. You deserve better.
I like the OCD suggestion above, esepecially if you think that your depression (and ADHD-like symptoms) are secondary and subsequent to the constant intrusive thoughts.
You say you have tried over 15 medications - have you included any psychedelics / entheogens? How do marijuana and alcohol affect you?
There are many anecdotal (and some increasing amounts of research) that various substances can be really helpful with OCD like symptoms - psilocibin, ketamine, MDMA, LSD, etc.
Your reactions to good ol' pot and booze can also be diagnostic.
posted by soylent00FF00 at 3:13 PM on February 20, 2022
I like the OCD suggestion above, esepecially if you think that your depression (and ADHD-like symptoms) are secondary and subsequent to the constant intrusive thoughts.
You say you have tried over 15 medications - have you included any psychedelics / entheogens? How do marijuana and alcohol affect you?
There are many anecdotal (and some increasing amounts of research) that various substances can be really helpful with OCD like symptoms - psilocibin, ketamine, MDMA, LSD, etc.
Your reactions to good ol' pot and booze can also be diagnostic.
posted by soylent00FF00 at 3:13 PM on February 20, 2022
I know you’ve tried a lot of meds but maybe get a 2nd opinion with a doc who specializes in OCD?
posted by haptic_avenger at 7:51 PM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by haptic_avenger at 7:51 PM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
Buspirone, with trade name Buspar, is prescription medicine which helped my intrusive thoughts.
posted by ohshenandoah at 7:47 PM on February 23, 2022
posted by ohshenandoah at 7:47 PM on February 23, 2022
Response by poster: Just coming back to respond to some things. Not much in the way of an update since nothing has really changed, but at least I do feel a little better/less hopeless about just having to put up with this level of it all at least, so thanks for that! The general depression is easing every so slightly with the seasonal change, and I'm working on getting into a therapist again, though finances are an issue.
CBT – yeah, pretty much the worst possible therapy for me, i've discovered. Also the most common RIP. I've previously heard positive things about both DBT and ACT, so it's reassuring to see them come up again.
@MiraK - very much my experience with CBT – intellectually, I can look at any thought and carefully pick it apart using the correct terms and understand the why... and it does NOTHING to actually affect me. Just makes me feel like an extra big failure to knowing what to do and still not getting it right. (The said, the 'nope that's depression brain' has a small benefit in that I am no longer just mindlessly spiraling about 'why am I like this????')
Oddly, they're not really... anxiety related at all. Anxiety as a whole is not a big issue for me and meds for it make me miserable. I've been on buspar and had no positive effects of any kind. I apparently react oddly to a lot of medication and strongly to very low doses? Fun times.
I despise marijuana passionately – smelling any is an instant migraine trigger – and cannot drink at all. I find any sort of mind altering effect (the few times I got drunkish, narcotic pain meds, twilight sedation) incredibly upsetting. Tbh even if something like that was a nearly guaranteed cure I would not be willing to try.
I'm looking more into some of the supplements and such mentioned, but am wary of interactions with my currents meds.
I was curious about this pure OCD thing, but the more I've looked into it the further from my experience it seems. The entire thought process behind it seems radically different than what's going on.
The ADHD is 100% not in doubt. It was such a fucking relief to get a formal diagnosis for something I'd suspected for a long time, and meds for that specifically have made a huge positive impact on my life... just not on the intrusive thoughts or depression. But, like, I'm not stuck sitting for two hours because I need to take the trash out and can't for Reasons??? (otherwise known as executive dysfunction) so therefore I can do nothing but cry. Now I can cry and take out the trash at the same time! Small victories.
posted by unsettledink at 11:49 PM on April 25, 2022
CBT – yeah, pretty much the worst possible therapy for me, i've discovered. Also the most common RIP. I've previously heard positive things about both DBT and ACT, so it's reassuring to see them come up again.
@MiraK - very much my experience with CBT – intellectually, I can look at any thought and carefully pick it apart using the correct terms and understand the why... and it does NOTHING to actually affect me. Just makes me feel like an extra big failure to knowing what to do and still not getting it right. (The said, the 'nope that's depression brain' has a small benefit in that I am no longer just mindlessly spiraling about 'why am I like this????')
Oddly, they're not really... anxiety related at all. Anxiety as a whole is not a big issue for me and meds for it make me miserable. I've been on buspar and had no positive effects of any kind. I apparently react oddly to a lot of medication and strongly to very low doses? Fun times.
I despise marijuana passionately – smelling any is an instant migraine trigger – and cannot drink at all. I find any sort of mind altering effect (the few times I got drunkish, narcotic pain meds, twilight sedation) incredibly upsetting. Tbh even if something like that was a nearly guaranteed cure I would not be willing to try.
I'm looking more into some of the supplements and such mentioned, but am wary of interactions with my currents meds.
I was curious about this pure OCD thing, but the more I've looked into it the further from my experience it seems. The entire thought process behind it seems radically different than what's going on.
The ADHD is 100% not in doubt. It was such a fucking relief to get a formal diagnosis for something I'd suspected for a long time, and meds for that specifically have made a huge positive impact on my life... just not on the intrusive thoughts or depression. But, like, I'm not stuck sitting for two hours because I need to take the trash out and can't for Reasons??? (otherwise known as executive dysfunction) so therefore I can do nothing but cry. Now I can cry and take out the trash at the same time! Small victories.
posted by unsettledink at 11:49 PM on April 25, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
What worked for me was CBT, specifically the book Three Minute Therapy. I used the 'Stop' method, where I would say the word out loud when I would start to spiral, and the reframe method where I would follow a negative thought with a positive one (like what I would say to a friend if they had said something negative about themselves). It took probably 6 months or so to really get on top of it and build those into my mental flow as habits.
The other thing that I found helpful is Inositol, which is an OTC supplement that reduces spiraling and repetitive thoughts and has a few other health benefits besides. I get mine through purebulk.com. I started with 4000mg in the morning, then increased after two weeks to 4000mg twice a day. I started noticing the effects around week 3 or 4, and was pleasantly surprised at how effective it was.
I hope this helps. Be kind to yourself, this is not an easy thing to do.
posted by ananci at 7:27 AM on February 20, 2022 [5 favorites]