Meaning of dreams where I can't do anything right?
August 7, 2021 10:36 AM Subscribe
Lately I've been having a lot of dreams where, in addition to the normal dream narrative stuff, everything is a struggle... I can't get socks on right, have difficulty working the pedals when driving, can't get my arms through the armholes of my shirt, etc, etc. Does this mean anything in particular? I'm having trouble googling it.
I have those. I also have dreams where I'm reading something really boring and thinking, "Is there anything else I could be doing right now?" I think it's my brain saying, "Okay, it's been eight hours of this and I've used up all my good material. Get up. Wake uuuuuup, this is exhausting. I'm out of ideas and I want my coffee!"
posted by Don Pepino at 10:54 AM on August 7, 2021
posted by Don Pepino at 10:54 AM on August 7, 2021
Dream meanings can be pretty individual, so I find it’s usually best to ask what something in your dream means to you, rather than googling for some kind of universal dream code meaning. But, this in particular seems to be a common dream theme that people have when they are under a lot of stress, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like they are struggling and don’t know quite how to handle something. Which I think a lot of us are feeling, about COVID if nothing else.
posted by snowmentality at 10:59 AM on August 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by snowmentality at 10:59 AM on August 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
Not really, it's very individual. A theme in most of my dreams is that nothing works for me-- it's anxiety-related and usually means I need to work out harder during the day and drink less caffeine.
My dreams are very literal, so if I am having a "nothing is working for me" moment in life, generally someone in my dream will just straight-up say that, or I'll be rehearsing the literal problem I actually have. It's a blessing and a curse. I'd prefer to have the more poetic dreams, but it does solve problems.
posted by blnkfrnk at 11:05 AM on August 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
My dreams are very literal, so if I am having a "nothing is working for me" moment in life, generally someone in my dream will just straight-up say that, or I'll be rehearsing the literal problem I actually have. It's a blessing and a curse. I'd prefer to have the more poetic dreams, but it does solve problems.
posted by blnkfrnk at 11:05 AM on August 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
I call these "frustration dreams" when they happen to me - some thing, circumstance, or person (including myself) is trying to keep me from whatever my goal is within the dream. They can take many forms, such as trying to go from point A to point B but some labyrinth of buildings or tight spaces or dead ends or lack of transit options is preventing me; or trying to walk is unbearably slow and I can't get up any speed without bending over and dragging myself forward with my hands, as though everywhere is up a steep hill; or I urgently need to find a person in a very large crowd. Years ago when I waited tables for a while, in a dream I'd be the single waiter in a huge room full of tables...at first it's fine, but as more and more people trickle in I get further and further behind and more frantic. An especially fun one is I'm driving and I need to hit the brakes but suddenly I can't reach the pedals (*shudder*). I could go on with more examples but you get the idea.
Which style of frustration dream I have on a given night is pretty random, it's rarely the same one over and over. I've noticed they seem to occur more often when I'm feeling burned out or discouraged in my awake life. I hardly ever have them when I'm in a generally good mood. Sometimes if I realize I'm having one I can half-wake up to turn over and get re-comfortable in bed, which resets my thoughts enough that when I fall back asleep a totally different (and usually less frustrating) dream starts up.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:36 AM on August 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
Which style of frustration dream I have on a given night is pretty random, it's rarely the same one over and over. I've noticed they seem to occur more often when I'm feeling burned out or discouraged in my awake life. I hardly ever have them when I'm in a generally good mood. Sometimes if I realize I'm having one I can half-wake up to turn over and get re-comfortable in bed, which resets my thoughts enough that when I fall back asleep a totally different (and usually less frustrating) dream starts up.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:36 AM on August 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
I'm going to preface this by saying that assigning any generalised meaning to dream elements is almost certainly not going to help with understanding your own psychological state. Systems of dream interpretation are likely to be more misleading than otherwise because they're largely about assigning arbitrary meaning to particular symbols (i.e. they'll tell you that socks mean such and such and cars mean this and that, and so this means you're struggling with specific sock-signified and car-signified aspects of your life). The only non-misleading way to approach any system of this kind is in the same way as materialist use of tarot, I Ching or other systems of "divination": as arbitrary patterns onto which you can project meaning for the purpose of self-reflection.
All that said, the usual interpretation of dreams of this kind is pretty much what has been said above: stress or anxiety, possibly about lack of control. But what snowmentality says is fundamental: if the dreams seem significant to you, the only person who can tell you why is you. I suggest asking yourself how you feel about these dreams, whether you're worried that they mean something in particular, and if you associate them with specific experiences or thoughts.
I am not a doctor, psychologist or sleep researcher, so this is a general suggestion for consideration, but it also seems like reasonable conjecture to suggest that the seemingly* increased occurrence of these dreams has a neurological rather than psychological cause. You could consider if there any factors which might have affected your sleep itself. Noise, sleep environment, allergies, hunger/fullnesss, tiredness, lack of stimulation etc can all affect how we sleep. One example of a possible explanation is that, as the body is typically paralysed during REM sleep, brain activity more similar to wakefulness than usual could (perhaps) lead to interpreting that paralysis as physical clumsiness in dreams. Not saying that's what's happening, but it's at least a reasonable question to consider.
*it seems like we have large numbers of dreams we don't remember, because we only recall dreams that happen just prior to waking (although even saying that is difficult, because we can only get data about the subjective experience of dreams retrospectively), so "having" more of certain dreams may actually mean remembering more of them.
posted by howfar at 11:43 AM on August 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
All that said, the usual interpretation of dreams of this kind is pretty much what has been said above: stress or anxiety, possibly about lack of control. But what snowmentality says is fundamental: if the dreams seem significant to you, the only person who can tell you why is you. I suggest asking yourself how you feel about these dreams, whether you're worried that they mean something in particular, and if you associate them with specific experiences or thoughts.
I am not a doctor, psychologist or sleep researcher, so this is a general suggestion for consideration, but it also seems like reasonable conjecture to suggest that the seemingly* increased occurrence of these dreams has a neurological rather than psychological cause. You could consider if there any factors which might have affected your sleep itself. Noise, sleep environment, allergies, hunger/fullnesss, tiredness, lack of stimulation etc can all affect how we sleep. One example of a possible explanation is that, as the body is typically paralysed during REM sleep, brain activity more similar to wakefulness than usual could (perhaps) lead to interpreting that paralysis as physical clumsiness in dreams. Not saying that's what's happening, but it's at least a reasonable question to consider.
*it seems like we have large numbers of dreams we don't remember, because we only recall dreams that happen just prior to waking (although even saying that is difficult, because we can only get data about the subjective experience of dreams retrospectively), so "having" more of certain dreams may actually mean remembering more of them.
posted by howfar at 11:43 AM on August 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
Does this mean anything in particular?
I don't think so. Dreams don't, in general.
I know a lot of people think they do, but I've generally found that I worry far less about myself if I just put that down to pareidolia. Human brains are just wired to seek meaning in every damn thing, even when - sometimes especially when - it's not really there.
I'm every bit as capable of making up Just So stories that attach meaning to my dreams as the next guy, but on sober reflection I found that doing so had never yielded any insight that was both reasonable and actionable, so I stopped bothering.
posted by flabdablet at 1:27 PM on August 7, 2021
I don't think so. Dreams don't, in general.
I know a lot of people think they do, but I've generally found that I worry far less about myself if I just put that down to pareidolia. Human brains are just wired to seek meaning in every damn thing, even when - sometimes especially when - it's not really there.
I'm every bit as capable of making up Just So stories that attach meaning to my dreams as the next guy, but on sober reflection I found that doing so had never yielded any insight that was both reasonable and actionable, so I stopped bothering.
posted by flabdablet at 1:27 PM on August 7, 2021
My recurring dream is that I'm having trouble finding my car, so I wander around the parking lot. I don't think this means anything. It's just a way for my sleeping brain to string a bunch of randomly-firing neurons into a narrative of aimless activity.
posted by SPrintF at 1:43 PM on August 7, 2021
posted by SPrintF at 1:43 PM on August 7, 2021
I've found that regardless of the manifest content of the dream, my feelings in the dream almost always match the ones I have in waking life. So if, in your case, I were feeling stressed through all my dream struggles, this would be a sign that I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed in real life. Often, my dream alerts me to feelings I was not aware of (at least to this extent). Sometimes, these are feelings only towards a particular person or thing or situation. Useful to meditate on!
Sometimes, when my dream self is trying to get somewhere and I can barely make it past tying my shoe laces because the hurdles keep piling up, it's a sign that I'm about to wake up but my brain tries to keep me asleep and stop me from "getting there". That usually happens with uneasy afternoon naps.
posted by Omnomnom at 1:45 PM on August 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
Sometimes, when my dream self is trying to get somewhere and I can barely make it past tying my shoe laces because the hurdles keep piling up, it's a sign that I'm about to wake up but my brain tries to keep me asleep and stop me from "getting there". That usually happens with uneasy afternoon naps.
posted by Omnomnom at 1:45 PM on August 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
Most of my frustration dreams lately revolve around iOS - trying to send a message for help, but Siri wants to "beat up Martha", trying to dial 911 but getting 912, etc. Then I wake up and spend a day using siri and iOS and realize these were not dreams, but premonitions. I'm sure that Freud would say I'm old and grumpy about the shitty UI/UX designs that 20 and 30 year olds are subjecting me to.
I love Tim Apple, but several days ago, my apple watch decided that all of my Reminders lists were gone. "Siri, add cilantro to my grocery list. Siri: I'm sorry, you don't have a grocery list. Would you like me to create one?"
And today, apple watch now shows me a single Reminders list "Bed Bath & Beyond" . This is one I've created recently, so that's progress, but to be honest: the produce selection at BBB is abysmal.
posted by soylent00FF00 at 5:55 PM on August 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
I love Tim Apple, but several days ago, my apple watch decided that all of my Reminders lists were gone. "Siri, add cilantro to my grocery list. Siri: I'm sorry, you don't have a grocery list. Would you like me to create one?"
And today, apple watch now shows me a single Reminders list "Bed Bath & Beyond" . This is one I've created recently, so that's progress, but to be honest: the produce selection at BBB is abysmal.
posted by soylent00FF00 at 5:55 PM on August 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
It reads to me like you are feeling blocked in doing something you feel believe to be easy / have mastered a long time ago. Easy things are now a struggle. Losing fluency and competence.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:59 PM on August 7, 2021
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:59 PM on August 7, 2021
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posted by rabbitbookworm at 10:50 AM on August 7, 2021 [1 favorite]