Rituals to mark the seasons

April 28, 2017 10:02 AM

My husband has expressed the desire to incorporate some rituals into our (mostly secular) lives to mark the turning of the seasons, and the progression of the year. We're looking for small meaningful acts that we can incorporate in our lives, and repeat each year. Any and all ideas welcome!

Potentially relevant information:
- We're not religious, though somewhat spiritual. I lean somewhat to the hippy end of the spectrum, and we have candles, sage, a few crystals around the house already.
- We do not want to engage with institutional religion, so stuff like 'go to Midnight Mass' is out for us.
- We are open to most types of woo for this, though things that cost lots of money or time will probably be a non-starter.
- We live in the centre of a densely urban city, so 'go and be with nature' type suggestions don't work for us. However, we do have a small (paved) back garden at our disposal.
- We don't have kids, but are planning on having a family in the near-ish future - so any rituals we can start now and continue meaningfully (or adapt) with kids' involvement would also be great.
- Rituals can be simple or complex - as long as some clear relevance to the aim of marking year's progression, taking a moment to give thanks and affirmatively be able to move forward.

Thank you in advance!

posted by thetarium to Society & Culture (28 answers total)

Solstices (and equinoxes) are the obvious choice. We're a very secular family and I enjoy celebrating those with the kids, though we do mostly celebrate outside and connect the passing of the seasons to our garden and the changes in the woods.
posted by lydhre at 10:10 AM on April 28, 2017 [8 favorites]

Quarterly gatherings/parties. Great for many reasons.
posted by booooooze at 10:20 AM on April 28, 2017 [6 favorites]

I have kitchen towels and guest-bathroom towels that are loosely themed after the seasons (not matchy-matchy sets, just colors and designs that work with the seasons). I change them out on the solstices and equinoxes. It's not a big deal, but it's a visual reminder of the season of the year.
posted by spamloaf at 10:25 AM on April 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

If your locality allows fires, a bonfire is a wonderful thing! You can get metal fire pits, or ceramic outdoor burners for a safe, enclosed way to burn wood. It's a lovely way to spend an evening outdoors any time of year, and a powerful ritual to mark the seasons' changing.
posted by LaBellaStella at 10:38 AM on April 28, 2017

Janis Day in Latvia is huge and involves staying up all night, floral headpieces, fooling around with your partner, eating cheese, drinking beer, and jumping over fire. Honestly, I'm not sure why the entire world hasn't picked up on this evening of awesomeness.
posted by adorap0621 at 10:41 AM on April 28, 2017 [7 favorites]

This is really silly, but my small family does a funny little Dance of Sun at winter solstice. We don't like the long nights of winter, and the solstice marks the day that the days start getting longer, so we do our best to welcome it.

The Dance of Sun is pretty much just holding each other by the shoulders and hopping with joy for a few seconds. There's humming and random la-la-las. But we do it every year and it feels wrong to skip it now.
posted by mochapickle at 11:00 AM on April 28, 2017 [7 favorites]

Maybe a reading of a seasonal poem? Off-hand, I can think of e.e. cummings' "In Just. Thomas Hardy's The Darkling Thrush is about the New Year. I'm sure MeFites can come up with others.
posted by FencingGal at 11:01 AM on April 28, 2017

Go to an Observatory or dust off your telescope or find a star viewing party in your area for solstices, equinoxes, eclipses, and travel somewhere out into nature during annual meteor showers.
posted by jbenben at 11:12 AM on April 28, 2017 [7 favorites]

If you almost entirely eat regional crops, this happens automatically. (Less drastic in California than in Boston, but Californians really shouldn't complain about that.)

Spring and fall cleaning are nice if you keep the house closed tight during heating season, or aircon season, or both; move everything, air everything, switch to different fabrics in the house as well as the wardrobe; find abandoned projects and either finish them or give them an affectionate goodbye. Have people over to celebrate.
posted by clew at 11:18 AM on April 28, 2017 [6 favorites]

You might want to investigate the seasonal rituals of Druids, pagans, Wiccans, and so forth.
posted by scratch at 11:39 AM on April 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

My favorite way to handle this is through food/cooking (of course, mileage varies depending on whether you enjoy cooking, have access to seasonal ingredients, etc.)--where I live, I mark spring by when the crawfish festivals start happening around town, and we celebrate by sitting on the deck shelling a buncha crawfish and sucking down cold beer. Rhubarb's also how I know it's spring, and I tend to make a fish with rhubarb sauce around Passover per Joyce Goldstein, as its appearance tends to overlap with that holiday (I know you mentioned no religious stuff, just citing the food and how I relate to it seasonally). Summer is joyful because tomatoes finally taste good again, and when it heats up to near unbearable levels here in August the one solace is knowing it's time to eat fresh figs mostly naked while barely moving around the house in the dark (that's how hot it gets). When it finally gets cold and even snowy, I know it's time to do involved baking I otherwise can't stand to do because it heats up the kitchen (bread baking, cinnamon buns or other yeasted things, etc.).

As Orangette put it somewhere one time, you think about how you only have so many more summers to eat summer food left, and it's obvious I guess but really startles me into perspective. That might just be me though (I love food!).

Similarly, I like perfume for private sensory enjoyment, and I def. rotate out what I wanna smell based on season. I love knowing it's time for sweet smoky scents come winter, and then right around when I'm sick of winter and smelling/wearing that stuff it's about time to begin smelling flowers and rain in my perfume, etc.
posted by ifjuly at 11:54 AM on April 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I'd check out the Sabbats almanac that Llewellyn puts out every year; there are seasonal recipes and crafts in there and I find it super helpful for finding things to do to celebrate!
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:55 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]

About twice a year, I follow the KonMari method of going through my stuff in order (clothing, books, papers, komono/miscellany, sentimental items). On its face, this seems to be 100% practical and with almost 0% "woo," but the effects are pretty transformative, especially the first time. She does have a section in her book about how children can help. This can be a valuable life lesson in needs vs. wants, consumerism, minimalism, etc.

A side benefit to doing this with the seasonw is that it re-sets my attention to my spending habits. I spend less when I realize I have everything I need.

Plus, it's absolutely delightful to end up with less stuff to manage, leaving more attention and space for the things that really matter.
posted by onecircleaday at 11:58 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]

We have a seasonal/holiday-specific wreath on our front door year-round. They seem so dumb and pinteresty and whatever, but it's nice to get everyone together to change them out every couple of months.
posted by Etrigan at 11:58 AM on April 28, 2017 [4 favorites]

Woops, I forgot my link!
posted by onecircleaday at 12:07 PM on April 28, 2017

I get a lot of pleasure out of announcing and celebrating the first "something" of each season. For example, there is the first ice cream of spring, which must occur on the first day it is warm enough to go outside in shirt sleeves. Also the first cider of autumn, which happens on a wet blowy day once at least some of the leaves are down. These are extra nice because we can anticipate and argue over them as a family - eg I am usually not ready to declare first ice cream until several weeks after my partner has proclaimed it is warm enough. Also, while I am not a runner in general, I celebrate the first perfect spring day and the first perfect fall day with an outdoor run.
posted by TheLittlestRobot at 12:20 PM on April 28, 2017 [8 favorites]

My hometown has a contest - the first person to find a buttercup in the spring gets their picture in the paper - you could do something similar. I just started a contest for my neighborhood - first person who takes a picture of a flower gets a prize (probably chocolate). And last year I started a new contest for my neighborhood - person who guesses the day of first snow gets a bag of organic oranges.

I learned that if you plant trees in the spring you have to watch them very carefully that they do not get too dry. But if you plant in the fall they overwinter and they have a lot of settling in already done and you don't have to watch the watering so much. So now I have a ritual of planting trees every fall.
posted by cda at 12:57 PM on April 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

Before I became such a night owl, my equinox/solstice ritual was to get up with the sun and go for a walk somewhere (did not have to be "in nature") and reflect on the past and coming season. Usually I'd write down something I wanted to bring in and something I wanted to leave behind and burn/bury it. I have a good friend who does a version of this still and takes a photo of the sunrise and pairs it with a poem/song and puts it on a simple website and sends it to all his friends with well wishes for the coming season and I always love to receive it (you can see the page here if you want to see what it's like)
posted by jessamyn at 1:18 PM on April 28, 2017 [5 favorites]

scratch: You might want to investigate the seasonal rituals of Druids, pagans, Wiccans, and so forth.

Wheel of the Year marks solstices and equinoxes, known as the "quarter days", and the four midpoints between, known as the "cross quarter days," for four or eight annual celebrations for modern Pagans.

If you're in southern/ central California, Santa Barbara has a Summer Solstice Parade, complete with annual themes and elaborate floats. Growing up there, I took it for a normal thing, but I realize it's somewhat unique.


If you want something non-denominational in any way, there are plenty of odd and unusual holidays, from annual fruitcake toss day (January 3rd), to Star Wars Day (May 4th, naturally).
posted by filthy light thief at 1:20 PM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]

A bunch of my ideas involve getting out of town once in awhile. Sorry if that doesn't work for you. But here's a list:

Pumpkin patch and pumpkin carving

Thanksgiving

Winter holiday choir and / or tree decorating and / or hot cider on a dark, cold night and / or look at people's decorative lights

Valentine's Day

Plant some spring flowers in pots

Egg-dying and pagan egg hunt with lots of bunny and flower imagery

May day flower baskets

Rent a car to go somewhere and see wildflower blooms?

Fourth of July bbq picnic + watch fireworks

Lazily float down some river in August

Go camping on the long Labor Day weekend

Go somewhere to see the trees start to turn
posted by salvia at 6:14 PM on April 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

first drink of the year on a patio!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:13 AM on April 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

I post a celebratory complaint on Facebook every winter - "only 3 days until the solstice", because it gets dark very early here and I am eager for the days to get longer again.
posted by batter_my_heart at 7:24 AM on April 29, 2017

I'm not terribly religious but I observe Lent every year. Traditionally an end of winter fast from when food was lean at this time of year. All that abstinence makes Easter, the seeing in of spring, that much sweeter.
posted by BAKERSFIELD! at 7:09 PM on April 29, 2017

Best answer: Hi! My husband and I had the same desire. Here's what we did.

We decided to celebrate astronomically relevant holidays -- so, Solstices and Equinoxes are major holidays. Since I dabbled in Wicca in my youth, I also wanted to celebrate the "cross-quarters", so directly in between each major holiday, we have a minor holiday. We realized that this should give us a nice periodicity of holidays occurring regularly every so often, and that we could actually chart this out with a cosine function. The cosine function is something like

f(x) = (1/8(2-sqrt(2)) + 1/4(2+sqrt(2)) * cos(2x) + 1/8(2-sqrt(2)) * cos(4x))^2

where x is a coordinate derived from a date. (This was derived for us by a math professor friend.) Basically it gives a periodic function where each major holiday is 100% festive and each minor holiday is 50% festive. Directly in between each holiday, it zeroes out, and we have a nadir. Since nadirs are un-festive, they're a good time to do mundane maintenance tasks. So, there's something happening just about every three weeks.

Of course I then had to write an R script to calculate the dates, and it's actually not quite finished yet (it doesn't yet give us the exact festivity index of any given day) but, here, for example, is our 2017 calendar (down to the minute!!), with traditions:
"fallEq 2017-09-20 18:24:29: eating raw oysters, black and white cookies, or drinking egg cremes."
"fallNadir1 2017-10-13 16:56:22: updating resumes and CVs."
"fallCross 2017-11-05 14:28:14: eating quince cobbler."
"fallNadir2 2017-11-28 13:00:07: setting up our Christmas tree."
"winSol 2017-12-21 11:31:59: setting something on fire then eating or drinking it."
"winNadir1 2017-01-12 22:53:00: getting rid of our Christmas tree, preparing our taxes, and cleaning out our filing cabinets."
"winCross 2017-02-04 16:05:00: getting tight on rum and watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show."
"winNadir2 2017-02-27 09:17:00: making dental appointments."
"springEq 2017-03-22 03:29:00: eating eggs benedict and jousting peeps in the microwave."
"springNadir1 2017-04-13 20:41:00: giving away clothes that don't fit or that we don't wear."
"springCross 2017-05-06 13:53:00: singing Solidarity Forever and going out for a nice dinner."
"springNadir2 2017-05-29 07:05:00: getting rid of things we wouldn't want to move with."
"sumSol 2017-06-21 00:17:00: putting up paper lanterns and watching a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream."
"summerNadir1 2017-07-13 22:48:52: evaluating family finances."
"summerCross 2017-08-05 21:20:45: making fancy cheese boards with bread and wine pairings."
"summerNadir2 2017-08-28 19:52:37: making dental appointments."

R script available, for anyone interested, on github.
posted by Made of Star Stuff at 7:13 PM on April 29, 2017 [10 favorites]

A friend of mine has a little table set up with the theme of the season. They gather stuff from the yard - so acorns and leaves for fall and flowers for spring. Then there are a few things that she has made (she does felt/needle punching) that they set out as well. I really like the idea - it's kind of like a nativity scene for the seasons.
posted by dawkins_7 at 4:26 PM on April 30, 2017 [2 favorites]

I make dandelion wine and/or fruit jam in the summer, and save some to consume on the winter solstice to remind us that summer is on its way again.

I track signs of spring by making Advent calendar-type things to hang up when I hear the first spring peepers, see the first robin, etc. More info here.

Friends spend the week before the winter solstice not using any electricity at home other than the lights on their Christmas tree. Lots of candles, fires in the woodstove, etc. and it makes the solstice feel very bright when they turn the lights back on.
posted by metasarah at 5:59 AM on May 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Another household used to trade a holiday-dressed goofy doll with us -- it was a big plush yellow duck that must have been in an Easter basket at some point, and then was returned dressed for Halloween, and then went back and forth for years in increasingly specific costumes for increasingly obscure but household-relevant occasions. (We made the costumes of construction paper and junk mostly. The Death of Nelson was my personal favorite. )

You could do it for the kids for a while, and then the kids could take over and do it for the household. That's a ways away though.
posted by clew at 11:13 AM on May 1, 2017

I've wanted to do something like this for a long time, to connect with cycle of the sun and earth and finally I am!
From our dining room and patio there is a pretty clear view of the west fence of our property. Using the East-west as a guide, I've been marking where the noon shadow falls on the solstices and equinoxes.
Now I'm going to add some nice trim to show the angle of the sun on the fence for those four days.
From then on, I'll be able to track the sun's progress through the year towards and away from equinoxes.

Is there a way for you to do something like this?
posted by drinkmaildave at 3:20 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]