Gifts for someone who just got a colostomy bag
June 18, 2021 6:37 PM Subscribe
Yeah it's pretty much as stated above. Friend's mother. Major colon surgery. Now has a bag that's been an ordeal getting used to. Normally I'd sent a food gift basket but now...eh? For those who have or know people with one, what's something you'd wish you'd been given to use or deal with this situation?
I had a colostomy a few months ago and now have the bag and have to agree with citygirl. There's nothing fun about it and thematizing it in a present seems to me off color.
I do have to say what surprised me the most was the lack of knowledge about the bag among the nurses who were assigned to me and even on the part of the specialist ostomy nurse. A serious problem I had been having with adhesion was only solved after close to a couple of months when I talked to a representative of ostomy products manufacturer Hollister. Hollister may have reached out to her already; if they have not, it would be a 'gift' in a broader sense to let her know you've been told they are a good resource and are happy to give advice on the phone. They are also happy to send free samples of different models of bag to try out.
Also, I don't see anything in principle wrong with a food basket. Unless she has lost her appetite. The educational literature I was given after the operation was full of indications of types of food to favor and to avoid but the doctor who did the surgery basically told me to eat what I wanted to eat, which has worked out okay. (If the operation was very recent, though, I do gather that high fiber foods are harder on the digestive system. So bran muffins, say, wouldn't be the thing. Maybe to be safe check with your friend whether her mom has been given any specific food proscriptions.)
posted by bertran at 11:38 PM on June 18, 2021 [3 favorites]
I do have to say what surprised me the most was the lack of knowledge about the bag among the nurses who were assigned to me and even on the part of the specialist ostomy nurse. A serious problem I had been having with adhesion was only solved after close to a couple of months when I talked to a representative of ostomy products manufacturer Hollister. Hollister may have reached out to her already; if they have not, it would be a 'gift' in a broader sense to let her know you've been told they are a good resource and are happy to give advice on the phone. They are also happy to send free samples of different models of bag to try out.
Also, I don't see anything in principle wrong with a food basket. Unless she has lost her appetite. The educational literature I was given after the operation was full of indications of types of food to favor and to avoid but the doctor who did the surgery basically told me to eat what I wanted to eat, which has worked out okay. (If the operation was very recent, though, I do gather that high fiber foods are harder on the digestive system. So bran muffins, say, wouldn't be the thing. Maybe to be safe check with your friend whether her mom has been given any specific food proscriptions.)
posted by bertran at 11:38 PM on June 18, 2021 [3 favorites]
Oh, a possible alternative to a food basket would be a gift of cannabis edibles; if you think she would welcome that and live somewhere it's safe and legal to obtain.
posted by bertran at 12:30 AM on June 19, 2021
posted by bertran at 12:30 AM on June 19, 2021
I spent a while unexpectedly with a catheter bag (not the same at all, but some logistical parallels). Frankly I also had a hard time adjusting, and everything that reminded me of it, or reminded me that other people knew, was upsetting. So +1 for distracting, unrelated gifts.
That said, if she's a bit hardier than I, what I really needed was clothes that worked with the constraints of the situation, that I was comfortable wearing outside. I'm usually a tight jeans person and that was Right Out. You don't have to say this is for wearing with your bag... just, the colors were pretty and I thought of you.
posted by february at 2:40 AM on June 19, 2021 [1 favorite]
That said, if she's a bit hardier than I, what I really needed was clothes that worked with the constraints of the situation, that I was comfortable wearing outside. I'm usually a tight jeans person and that was Right Out. You don't have to say this is for wearing with your bag... just, the colors were pretty and I thought of you.
posted by february at 2:40 AM on June 19, 2021 [1 favorite]
Practical, but not an exciting gift: someone I knew who had a colostomy bag wore maternity support belts (e.g. this one chosen at random), which I guess not everyone would think of.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:01 AM on June 19, 2021
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:01 AM on June 19, 2021
I would not get an ostomy-bag related gift. If shes having trouble adjusting, reminders of it will likely not be as welcome as a food basket or a bouquet of flowers.
posted by ananci at 9:42 AM on June 19, 2021
posted by ananci at 9:42 AM on June 19, 2021
Not a gift but maybe a resource to give to your friend, who can delicately present it to their mom if the moment is right - there are some very good colostomy bag channels on youtube. I know a lot of nurses who watched these videos to learn how to work well with ostomy patients, both physically and psychologically.
Hannah Witton, Laura Cox, and there are lots more.
Gift wise, I'd do some kind of nice food like chocolate (check it's ok for her to eat obvs).
posted by nouvelle-personne at 11:18 AM on June 19, 2021
Hannah Witton, Laura Cox, and there are lots more.
Gift wise, I'd do some kind of nice food like chocolate (check it's ok for her to eat obvs).
posted by nouvelle-personne at 11:18 AM on June 19, 2021
As a former colostomy-haver, not drawing attention to it would would probably be best. That said, I appreciated elastic, loose-banded pants - well, sweat-ish pants. The utility of that depends on their situational dynamics.
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 5:11 PM on June 19, 2021
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 5:11 PM on June 19, 2021
My love has an ostomy, 3 years now, hates it but lives with it, please let your friend know Hollister, Convatec, Coloplast all have reps that will send you samples, talk to you about issues, etc because we also found out most nurses know very little. (And we see a LOT of doctors and nurses) The gear he uses now is not the gear they gave him after, Also pouchwear.com has covers and bands and there are also a lot on Etsy.
Everyone has different ways to handle an ostomy so I would not suggest you buy something related but do send a food basket or flowers.
posted by ReiFlinx at 3:33 PM on June 20, 2021
Everyone has different ways to handle an ostomy so I would not suggest you buy something related but do send a food basket or flowers.
posted by ReiFlinx at 3:33 PM on June 20, 2021
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Whatever you would gift a person who had major surgery is appropriate. Flowers, perhaps? The universal post-surgery gift.
posted by citygirl at 8:02 PM on June 18, 2021 [7 favorites]